FRIEND OF MINE (2nd Generation HUGS)

Chapter 14 -Let's Just Move On

Chapter 14 - Let’s Just Move On

Pinilit kong maging masaya and attentive kay Troy while we are at the mall. I really tried to kahit pa nga lutang ang isip ko dahil sa announcement kanina ni Ziggy. There is no mistaking, totoong buntis nga si Phoebe at totoong magiging tatay na ang best friend ko. Pilit ko itong sinisiksik sa mind ko kanina pa but my heart resist the truth. Ayaw tanggapin ng puso ko na tuluyan ng walang future sa amin ni Ziggy, ayaw nito na makiayon sa isip ko. 

‘Hey Love.’ napatingin ako kay Troy nang hawakan niya ang kamay ko. We are having ice cream and brownies sa isang kilalang pastry shop.

‘Huh? You’re saying something?’

‘Kanina pa kita tinatawag but it seems ang layu-layo ng iniisip mo. Care to share?’ He smiled lovingly at me which made me feel guilty. 

Bakit ba kasi hindi ko na tapusin ang lahat for the sake of having a peace of mind? Tutal naman ay obvious na obvious na tinapos na ni Ziggy ang chapter na yun sa aming dalawa. He finally did what is right para sa kanila ni Phoebe, so dapat lang ay gawin ko narin ang tama para sa amin ni Troy. 

‘May iniisip lang ako.’

‘About?’ huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ko siya tinitigan.

‘About us.’ He grinned before kissing the back of my hand. 

‘And what about us?’

‘Well, I was thinking kung kailan tayo magpa-plan of settling down.’ nagulat siya sa sinabi ko pero mas nagulat ako sa lumabas sa bibig ko. 

‘Are you proposing to me already, Love?’ He sounded unsure yet imagining. 

‘Silly!’ natawa siya when I hit his arm.

‘Hahahaha! Pero yung totoo? Are you true with what you have said, Belle?’ gusto kong bawiin ang sinabi ko dahil hindi ko alam kung handa na ba ako at kung gusto ko ba talagang magpakasal, sa iba. But I prefer not to react. ‘Sabagay you will be turning 27 next year, the perfect age to settle down.’ may bigla akong naalala that automatically made me close my eyes as my inner self mourn while I remember the past. My best friend’s covenant with Ziggy. Effin s**t! Usapan namin kapag tumungtong kami ng age 27 and we are still both single ay kami na lang dalawa ang magkakatuluyan. My heart literally aches that I have to place my palm at my chest to gently grip it. ‘Hey you alright Belle?’ 

‘Yeah, I’m good. May naalala lang ako when you mention that I’ll be 27 next year.’ 

‘Maybe that’s your dream age of marrying ano?’ He plays with my hand as he looks at me with affection. Nginitian ko lang siya in response. ‘We can plan for our wedding if you want to, Love. We can do it next year as well kung gusto mo. A month before your birthday or a month after.’ 

‘What if on my birthday mismo?’ mabilis siyang tumayo at tumabi sa akin. 

‘For real Love? So it’s a yes already?’ 

‘But you still have to propose to me, alin naman walang proposal.’ He quickly hugged me tight as he shouted with glee. 

‘Ofcourse I will propose to you, Belle! Oh God! I am so excited already! Parang gusto ko na agad ipaalam sa daddy mo about this!’ that made me move away from him.

‘Let us not tell it to him yet, love. Baka sabihin naman ng mga makakaalam na inagawan natin ng eksena ang best friend ko at sinabayan pa natin ang surprise nila.’

‘Oh yeah right!’ I chuckled because he is jittery at his seat. 

‘Let’s tell them after you have proposed na lang. At least there's evidence na talaga.’ 

‘Alright Love, if you say so.’ niyakap niya ako ulit at ginantihan ko ang yakap niya. 

Well I guess there is no turning back now. Maybe this is the start of everything for me, maybe this is the push that I need to recover and to move on. Ito na nga siguro ang first step for me to live a peaceful life, me being with Troy and our plan to forever. 

Nahatid na ako ni Troy sa mansion. Nakapag-freshen up na ako and is about to head to bed when someone knocks at my door. I saw my dad holding a glass of cold milk as he smiled widely at me. 

‘May I come in, Princess?’ I open the door wide enough for him to enter. ‘I’ve brought this for you to have a good night's sleep.’ inabot ko ang glass from him and place it on top of the coffee table. 

‘Thanks Dad.’ He was about to walk towards the door when I called him. ‘Dad?’

‘Mmm?’

‘Can I have a word with you? Kahit for a while lang?’

‘Sure Princess.’ umupo siya sa couch then I followed him. ‘What about?’ I clasp my hands first to release the tension I am feeling. I know this will be a shock to him but I know that I need his opinion on this matter.

‘Troy and I had been talking kanina at the mall, about us finally settling down.’ I pause to see what his reaction will be. Pero ako ang nagtaka nang wala akong nakita na any reaction from his face.

‘And?’

‘And we’ve decided to make it next year, on my 27th birthday.’ I was hoping to see his violent reaction but the only thing I heard from him was a deep sigh. Then he sits straight and stares at me intently.

‘Do you love him that much for you to marry him, Princess?’ 

‘I love him, yes. I care for him as well.’ isa pang buntong hininga ang pinakawalan niya.

‘Marriage is a sacred thing, Pretty Bella. Don’t get me wrong here. I am not against you marrying Troy, nasa age ka na where you can settle down already. He is stable and so are you. Both of you are at your right ages to finally tie the knot and both are responsible enough to start a family. What is bothering me right now is what’s inside there.’ tinuro niya ang heart ko. I look dumbfounded at him. ‘Is this just a coincidental Princess? Earlier today, Ziggy announced that his girlfriend is pregnant and it’s but natural that he is the father.’ He paused while still staring at me. ‘Coincidental nga lang ba that here you are telling me of your plans of getting married with your boyfriend? Is all of this coincidental or done on purpose?’ 

‘Dad.’ I shake my head with disbelief.

‘Think about it hundred times, Princess. Dahil kahit pa nasa 21st century na tayo, I don’t want my children being tainted with broken marriages. If any of you ng mga kapatid mo marries someone, then you guys have to live with it. Ayoko na sasabihin mo sa akin in the future na nagkamali ka sa pagpapakasal mo, or you’ve made a wrong decision of marrying that person. I will not support you three on that matter if that’s the case. Hindi ako papayag na makipaghiwalay kayo sa mga asawa nyo. That’s a sin against God kung saan ay nanumpa kayo na magsama kayo until eternity.’ He pause again and lean back. ‘Maghiwalay na kayo bago pa man kayo ikasal, that’s acceptable just like what happened to us ng Mommy mo. But after marriage, that is a big No No to me.’ hindi ako nakasagot sa sinabi niya. 

Tama naman siya. What’s the use of getting married to someone then in the end ay maghihiwalay rin lang kayo? What’s worse, may be affected ang mga bata. Sometimes I can’t fathom how deep and wide my father’s knowledge is. He seems to have every answer to anything, may it be logical or not. 

‘Matagal pa naman ang next year Dad. We still have time to think.’ 

‘At yan ang dapat mong gawin, Princess. Think hard before making a move. If you think you have thought of it already, then think again. Mahirap kalaban ang puso, Pretty Bella. But always remember not to let your heart dictate your mind, nor let your mind ruin your heart.’ 

‘I’ll bear that in mind Dad. Thank you as always.’ He cage me inside his arms and kiss my hair. 

‘I love you Princess, don’t ever forget about that. Whatever it is that you want in your life, I will support you one hundred percent.’

‘Thanks Dad, I love you too.’

The following morning, Core and I head to the covered court for an hour of exercise. Dala namin ang bola niya. But I am not wearing my favorite jersey this morning, actually ay nilagay ko nang lahat ng mga bagay na pwedeng makapag-paalala sa akin sa kanya in a huge box last night when I can’t summoned myself to sleep. I have decided to totally let go of him. Palalayain ko na siya sa puso ko para naman makapag-simula na ako sa buhay ko ng wala siya. So I can focus on Troy and think about our future together. Hindi naman kasi pwedeng ganito na lang ako habang buhay, I can't be unfair to myself at sa taong labis akong minamahal. Para saan pa ang second chance namin kung ganito lang ulit ako at hindi makausad sa love ko kay Ziggy? Kaya lahat ng things that will remind me of him ay tinago ko na sa box at mamaya papakuha ko sa maid to place it at the basement. May binili naman ako na isang set ng jersey yesterday at yun ang suot ko ngayon. My brother and I had a one on one, a race to five game that ended with him as the winner. Palabas na kami when we saw Ziggy entering the court. Napahinto siya in walking that made Core stop as well, I continued my pace but halted when Ziggy calls my name. 

‘Bella! Can we talk?’ napatingin sa akin si Core and waited for what my answer will be. I smile at him first before telling him to go ahead. Nang makalayo si Core ay umupo ako sa bleacher and wait for Ziggy to sit. I force myself to smile kahit pa nahihirapan ako. 

‘Congratulations pala. I didn't have the chance to say it to you yesterday.’ I was the first one to say something.

‘Bigla na lang kayong umalis ni Troy. Hindi man lang tayo nakapag-usap dalawa.’ He sounded awkward at ganun rin ang nararamdaman ko right this very moment. 

‘We went to the mall.’ 

‘I see.’ Then a long eerie silence filled us. Naiilang ako ngayon na katabi ko siya na kami lang dalawa. After everything that we have been through and after everything that had happened, I can say na hindi na kami katulad ng dati na at ease sa isa’t-isa. 

‘What is it that you wanted to talk about? May usapan kasi kami nila Core, Dad and Tita Coreen that we will have breakfast together after our game.’

’Is that so? Alright.’ He stood up then minutes after ay bumalik siya sa inupuan niya. ‘I would just like to say sorry for everything that I have caused you, Bella. I shouldn’t have done what I did to you and I want to apologize.’

‘Sorry rin sa mga nasabi ko Ziggy.’ He smiles weakly. 

‘And Bella, about what happened in San Francisco…’

‘Forget about it. Kinalimutan ko narin ang bagay na yun. Let’s just move on, that’s the most decent thing to do.’ 

‘I am about to say the same thing.’ napatingin ako sa kanya. He is still the same man I have treasured inside my heart for decades, but I knew that a lot has changed already sa aming dalawa. 

‘I wish you well Ziggy. I honestly do.’ my eyes starts to welled up in tears pero huminga agad ako ng malalim para huwag pumatak ang mga luha ko.

‘I also wish you well Bella. I hope someday we can bring back what we had before. Bago pa nangyari ang lahat ng ito.’ I saw a drop of tear fall freely from his eye kaya tumulo narin ang mga luha ko. Mabilis niya akong niyakap ng mahigpit and whispered in my ear. ‘I will love you forever Bella. You will never leave my heart regardless of what happens.’ mas napaiyak ako sa narinig ko, I cry in agony at his chest and let out all the pain and misery inside my heart. ‘Take care of yourself. Do that for me please.’ bago pa ako makasagot ay pinakawalan na niya ako as he stand up and walk away from me. I watch him head to the exit with blurry eyes. 

‘You will forever have my heart Ziggy, I will never forget you.’ 

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