Majesty

Kabanata 6

            “Miss Delgado? Bakit hindi ka pa pumapasok sa loob?”

            Nag-angat ako ng tingin mula sa tubig-kanal na paagos-agos lamang. The rain hasn’t stopped since.

            “Naku, kapag nagkasakit ka niyan ay baka sugurin kami ng Mama mo! Pumasok ka na, Miss Delgado!” anang homeroom teacher ko na mukhang kadarating pa lang din sa school.

            With a heavy sigh, I dragged myself out of the soft pouring rain. Sa sobrang bigat ng nararamdaman ko ay para bang mga bato ang dala ko sa loob ng aking designer bag.

            The day pretty much went the same except for its darkened skies. Mukhang nakikisabay rin sa saloobin ko kaya tuloy hindi ko maiwasang matulala na lamang sa bintana, pinanonood ang madramang pagpatak ng tubig-ulan.

            “Rana isn’t touching her food. Is something wrong with her?” kumento ng kasama namin sa table noong recess na.

            “Shh!”

            “Huwag ka na lang maingay at kumain ka na lang!”

            Pabulong-bulong pa nga sa katabi niyang si Hilda pero nang makitang padarag kong sinawsaw ang isang stick ng french fries sa sundae ay natameme rin. Napairap na lang ako.

            The boy was of my age – fifteen, hardly a teen and barely an adult. Kids in our range weren’t supposed to know things, yes? But maybe we’re also the kids who just… I don’t know… feel too much. We only know so little of the world so that’s why we’re all so curious about it. All these new feelings, these exciting things, experiences…

            And maybe that’s why we’re also the ones who get hurt. A lot.

            “Hi, Rana!” Bigla na lamang umupo si Lawrence sa tabi ko kaya tuloy nabitawan ko ang isusubo sanang fries.

            Kung hindi lamang ako sanay sa pagpapapansin niya ay kanina ko pa siya nasita. Sa halip na ubusin ang galit sa kaniya, kumuha na lamang ulit ako ng bago.

            “Hi,” tipid na sabi ni Cat.

            Meanwhile, Hilda smiled sweetly. “Hello, Lawrence! Nice jacket!”

            “Thanks. Ipinadala ito ni Daddy galing France. Mayroon pang boots na kasama.”

            “That’s so cool! I wish my Dad also ventured in Europe. Mas sophisticated at mas kalidad kasi ang mga fashion style doon e.”

            “We think exactly the same! Ikaw, Rana? Saan mo mas gusto?”

            Si Catalina na kanina pa ako tahimik na pinagmamasdan ay tinaasan ako ng kilay. I sighed, not caring if it’s too loud. Thankfully, before I could utter a word, nagpaalam na si Lawrence at nagtatakbo dahil tinawag ng coach. Sumali ata siya ngayong sem sa football team. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung nakapasa sa tryouts.

            When our group was left alone, mabilis na lumabas ang mga ngiwi ni Hilda.

            “Bakit ba ganiyan ka kay Lawrence? Ha? You didn’t even say hello!” aniya.

            “I don’t want to.”

            “Oh my God. You sound like a brat, Rana!”

            “And you sound like my mom.”

            “She’s not in the mood, Hilda. Stop it…” As usual, Cat went between us, shrugging while sipping her favorite jelly juice.

            Iyong pangatlong boyfriend ata ni Hilda ngayong taon ay palipat-lipat lamang ng tingin sa aming tatlo. Lucio was gone, the one after that was also gone, and this one? Oh, it wouldn’t even last this month.

            “E isang ‘hi’ lang naman kay Lawrence,” irap ni Hilda. “He helped us with our project last week, remember? Doon pa niya tayo sa bahay nila pinatuloy para lang tulungan tayo tapos hindi mo na siya pinapansin kaagad?”

            And now everybody thinks that I already said ‘yes’. That the Delgado heiress finally met her match and surrendered her pride to that Santillan boy. Dahil lang sa nagpunta na ako sa bahay nilang hamak naman na mas maliit kaysa sa amin.

            If only I wasn’t so torn and broken this month, I would’ve made things clear to everybody. And if only I wasn’t so sad right now, I would’ve had the strength to argue with my friend.

            Sa halip tuloy na makipag-away pa, pumangalumbaba na lamang ako at pinanood ang malambing na pagbuhos ng ulan. My lifestyle was glamorous enough to not let people know that I was going through something. In the outside, I was still the reigning campus queen, now with an unofficial boyfriend… However, on the inside, daig ko pa ang inalog na mga duhat.

            It was Mickey’s fault, that I was sure of. Simula kasi noong nagkasagutan kami halos dalawang linggo na ang nakalipas, bumaba na ang dopamine level ko. I could still hear his low voice inside my head like it was just yesterday. The irritation in it, the slight restraint, and the anger he himself materialized.

            At first, I was confused. I actually felt nothing when I got home and even hanged out with my friends a couple of days after. But then, as the days turned into a week, doon ko na napansin na lagi-lagi ko akong parang tahimik at may malalim na iniisip.

            Ever had that random thought pop up in your brain in the middle of a happy conversation? Or you’re feeling so happy and full and yet, your smile slightly fades away just because of that single thought. It’s weird but… there it was, looming at you, waiting for you to be alone to finally wiggle its way into your brain.

            I gave up trying to evade it kaya nitong sumunod na linggo, iyon na lamang ang iniisip ko. Mickey said hurtful things but… I couldn’t deny that they’re facts. Masyado nga yata akong nahumaling sa kaniya na hindi ko na inisip ang masasabi ng mga tao sa kaniyang paligid.

            Masyado akong nag-expect kaya tuloy, ito, para akong natauhan na tao lang din pala si Mickey. Nagagalit, naiinis, naiirita kapag nasosobrahan na. He’s all real and not just some hot guy whom I found randomly elsewhere.

            But… did that deter me from having a crush on him still?

            That’s a big question I didn’t know the answer. And I didn’t know if I would soon have it. Nito rin kasing linggo ay nalaman ko nang totoo ang lahat ng mga sinabi ni Mickey. Hindi na nga siya sa kampo rito sa amin nakadestino. I wasn’t sure when he’d be back though.

            I wasn’t asking anyway.

            For now.

            “I ask you one thing, Rana, just one thing,” sabi ni Hilda na nakapagpabalik sa akin sa realidad. “Tratuhin mo naman nang maayos si Lawrence kasi grabe ang effort niya sa’yo. I know you don’t like him but at least try to see his efforts.”

            Mabilis na lumipas ang panahon pagkatapos ng kaunting diversion na iyon sa buhay ko. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Pasukan na namin bilang grade ten at as usual, kaming tatlo nina Hilda at Catalina pa rin ang magkakasabay na pumasok para sa unang araw ng klase.

            “How’s your summer vacation? Oh my, is that Dior?!” tili kagaad ni Hilda sa bag ko noong nasa sasakyan pa lamang kami.

            “Uh-huh. Do you like it? Pinabili ko kay Papa sa Hudson.” Napangisi tuloy ako habang nagre-retouch ng lip tint.

            I discarded my pink Burberry satchel which I used last year. Mukha kasi akong elementary doon. In fact, almost all of my pink, sparkly stuffs got either discarded or replaced by its neutral versions. Mas mukhang sophisticated at mature tingnan. I was still girly and self-entitled though my awful pink princess phase was over. Thankfully.

            Ngayong balik-eskuwela, I wore a spaghetti-strap crop top partnered with my ripped boyfriend jeans and strappy heels. I also brought a denim jacket just in case pero kumportable naman ako dahil hindi naman masyadong mainit. With my straightened hair parted in half and with a little bit of cheek tints, I was satisfied with the look.

            “My summer is fine except my Dad is thinking of an early retirement,” ani Catalina.

            “Ninong Herbert loves his work religiously, don’t worry.” Napailing na lamang ako.

            “Right! Kapag nasa bahay ang Daddy mo, hindi ka lang palalabasin noon kahit na kasama kami,” sabi naman ni Hilda.

            Pagdating sa school ay umulan ng mga kumustahan. Tradition na yatang ganoon ang gagawin tuwing pasukan, ang makipag-plastikan sa mga taong hindi mo naman naka-good vibes noong huling taon. Mabuti na lamang ay magaling ako sa mga ganoon.

            Some boys already asked me out for later. May magaganap kasi na party pagkatapos ng unang araw ng klase. Saktong-sakto dahil nakaporma kaming lahat dahil bukod sa nagpaplastikan ay nagyayabang ng mga bagong damit, gamit at sasakyan.

            “Which party are you going later, Rana?” Nilapitan ako ni Maverick.

            Seeing a boy approaching, my other “friends”, Niana and Kassey bid goodbye and waved before whispering to themselves.

            Napairap na lang ako. Bitches.

            “Oh, hi, Mave! Pupunta kami mamaya nila Hilda sa party.” I turned to Maverick instead.

            He’s one of the transferees last year na tsaka ko lamang nakausap noong mga huling buwan na. He’s pretty popular, I think. His mom made tons of money having the largest wine cellar in the region.

            “Good to hear. May I ask where?”

            Napaisip ako saglit. “Fatima is throwing a party in their house. Nakapunta na ako roon e. Si Jackie naman ay sa garage ng kuya niya.”

            “His cars ain’t worth a dime, just saying.”

            “That’s exactly what I thought, Mave.”

            Napangisi na lamang ito. “So… How about River’s party? You want to go there later?”

            Iyon nga din ang naiisip ko e dahil iyon naman ang mukhang mas interesanteng lugar na pupuntahan mamaya. Kaya nga lang, “I’m still a minor, Mave. Sorry.”

            River Ongpauco will be hosting a party later in a club. Paniguradong puros mga senior at college ang attend dahil bawal pa kaming mga minor de edad. It sucked though because it felt like they thought of a way to draw us out just because we’re still the little kids.

            “I can think of a way…” Tumaas ang kilay ni Maverick.

            “What do you mean?”

            Kaibigan ko si River. He wouldn’t snitch if I tell him not to.”

            “Really…?” Napanguso ako.

            “You want in or no? You want to attend the losers’ parties, Rana?”

            I definitely didn’t like the sound of that, but that’s just the truth. Isang segundo ko pang pinagmasdan si Maverick na tinataasan lamang ako ng kilay. Nilingon ko rin sina Catalina at Hilda na kausap ang ilan pa naming mga kaibigan.

            Oh, what the hell. I wasn’t a Delgado for nothing. Nasa dugo ko na nga siguro ang gustuhin ang mga bagay na bawal.

            “Okay! I’ll go with you later!” Ngumiti ako kay Maverick.

            Ngumiti rin ito pero hindi nagtuloy dahil nakitang paparating si Lawrence.

            “Wait. Is he going to be a problem? Baka magalit ang boyfriend mo ah?”

            I couldn’t help but groan. Ever since kumalat ang balita last year na sinagot ko na siya, para bang habambuhay na akong hahabulin ng masamang panaginip na iyon. I didn’t know how the hell it spread or how I could clear the issue. Mapapagod lang ako kaya hindi ko na inintindi pa pero sa totoo lang ay may mga oras na naiinis na talaga ako.

            Lawrence Santillan still didn’t stop courting me even after a year. His extravagant gifts were still being delivered to my door step though not constantly. It was as if he’s just giving me gifts and doing dumb things at school to remind me and everybody that he’s still keen on pursuing me. Kahit na may nababalitaan akong naging side chick or girlfriend niya raw, ako pa rin talaga ang opisyal na nililigawan niya na alam kong hindi naman siya ganoon kaseryoso.

            I didn’t actually reject him, now that I thought about it. Parang wala na lamang sa akin dahil hindi lang naman siya ang nagpapadala ng mga regalo. He didn’t also make it a point to reach out to me or to at least be mindful about what he’s doing.

            Isang beses nga ay may nakarating pa sa aking pinagkakalat daw niya na ako ang pakakasalan niya. Bahala siya sa buhay niya. Wala naman akong inaasahan kahit na kami talaga ni Lawrence ang isa sa mga pinakakilalang nalilink sa isa’t isa sa school. But God, at times like these, I hoped it wasn’t the case.

            I groaned at Maverick. “He’s not my boyfriend, okay? Huwag ka ngang naniniwala sa mga tsismis!”

            “So, you’re still single?”

            “Of course!”

            “Alright, alright. Just make sure you keep a leash on him. I don’t like to getting myself in the middle of something I do or don’t know.”

            Pinandilatan ko lamang siya ng mga mata. He just smirked and signaled for his cellphone. Tumango-tango naman ako, naiintindihan na maaari siyang tumawag o mag-text mamayang dismissal.

            “Rana! I missed you lots! How’s your vacation?” anang lumapit na si Lawrence.

            “Fine,” I answered like a robot.

            “You didn’t answer my texts though.”

            “You didn’t send any.”

            “I didn’t?”

            Poker face ko lamang siyang hinarap. Ngumisi lamang ito sabay akbay sa akin na para bang hindi ko siya nahuling nagyayabang na nakikipagngisihan sa mga batchmate namin.

            “I have a gift for you, Rana…”

            I groaned again.

            After thirty minutes of socializing, we finally went inside our respective rooms and spent the rest of the day chitchatting once again, of course. Hindi pa naman opisyal na klase e. Iyon nga lang, ang isa sa mga usap-usapan ay ang bagong regalo sa akin ni Lawrence.

            “May singsing na kasama?” bulong ni Hilda habang iniinspekto ang gintong kwintas. “Baka promise ring na? This is so pretty, Rana. Buti ka pa…”

        “Dunno,” kibit-balikat ko lang.

            “Ang swerte mo kay Lawrence…”

            I just waited for the dismissal which was early enough for my Mama to allow me to go to the said party. Technically, I said I’ll be going home… early… Hindi ko naman sinabi kung alas-dose ba ng gabi o ano.

            Still, hindi naman ako nagsinungaling, ‘di ba?

            After receiving a call from Maverick, we met up at the back of the school. Kasama na niya roon ang dalawa pang kaibigang lalaki na galing sa kabilang section. Mukhang nakalimutan niyang sabihin iyon sa akin kanina.

            “Hi, Rana!” Sabay pa silang bumati.

            “Hello!” I waved a bit before turning to Maverick. “We better go now. Ang sabi ko lang kay Hilda ay uuwi muna ako at magpapalit ng damit.”

            “Tapos ay hindi ka na magpapakita?” Natawa na lamang siya.

            “Shut up.”

            About half an hour, we finally arrived at the venue. Ang aga pa lang. Alas-singko pa lang kaya halos wala pang mga sasakyan sa parking. Mukhang mga empleyado pa lamang din ng club ang naglalabas-masok. I must admit though, it looked pretty decent. Malaki nga naman ang club at mukhang mamahalin.

            “Like it?” ngisi ni Maverick sa akin.

            Napailing na lamang ako at napangisi. I’ve only been to a couple of clubs before. Mga takas din kaya medyo na-e-excite ako ngayon.

            About a minute or two just after our group went out of the car, another one pulled up right beside the entrance, almost knocking over one of Maverick’s friend! Napatili tuloy ako.

            “Ang hayup na ‘to! Hindi tinitingnan ang dinadaanan!” Pagkatapos umatras ay sinipa ni Mave ang gulong ng SUV. “Hindi mo ba kami kilala? Ha?”

            “Mave, stop it! Let’s just go inside!” Pilit kong hinila ang braso niya bago pa man magkagulo.

            “Ang angas e! Tarantado…”

            Mave was already allowing me to pull him even though he got pissed as hell. Ngunit bago pa man kami tuluyang makapasok sa loob ay bumaba na ang driver ng SUV. Mabilis ang kilos nito na kinwelyuhan si Mave at siyang idinapa sa hood!

            “Maverick! H-Hey!” Napasigaw na talaga ako.

            “Let go of me! Isusumbong kita sa tatay ko! Do you know who I am?!”

            Walang nagawa ang mga kasama ni Mave dahil hamak na mas matangkad at mas malaki sa kanila ang harabas na driver. It was only up to me to go up to him to at least demand why the hell he was manhandling my friend that way.

            When I did get up close, my jaw dropped. Nawala ang kung ano mang litanyang sasabihin ko sana na Delgado ako at walang makakapantay sa kapangyarihan ng ama ko. The driver’s backside was already so familiar but then I saw his face.

            Why, I knew him. I thought I lost him for like, forever! And I thought I could forget him because it’s just already been so long…

            Oh my.

            “Sergeant… Alicante?” Napatingala ako sa kaniyang mga mata na ngayon ay masamang-masama ng tingin sa kaibigan ko.

            “Miss Delgado…” malamig niyang tango.

            I bit my lips before my whole face broke into a grin. My gosh, it really was him.