Laura's Vengeance

The white ceiling seemed to dance before my eyes, spinning and turning into a blurry cloud. I struggled against the thin fabric tied around my wrist, but it was useless. I was like an insect caught in a net, thrashing about yet slowly running out of strength. Ang bawat t***k ng puso ko ay tila isang tambol na gumuguhit sa aking dibdib, sumasabay sa malalim at madilim na ingay ng makina sa aking tabi. Hindi ko maintindihan. Bakit ako nakatali? Bakit ang lamig ng silid na ito? “Laura, kailangan mong kumalma,” malumanay na sabi ng isang boses. It was Devon’s familiar voice. But it wasn’t the voice I fell in love with the voice that once gave me comfort and made me feel safe. There was a forced concern in it, a strange tone that hinted at something being hidden. Pilit kong iginalaw ang aking ulo patungo sa kanya. Nakatayo siya sa gilid ng kama, ang kanyang mukha ay seryoso, halos walang emosyon. Sa likod niya, nakita ko si Tita Elena, ang kanyang ina, at ang kanyang pinsang si Marco. Their faces seemed masked with a hard and unreadable expression. “Anong nangyayari?” tanong ko, ang aking boses ay isang manipis na bulong. My throat was dry, and every word felt like grains of sand grinding against each other. "Devon, nasaan tayo?" He didn’t answer right away. Instead, Tita Elena stepped closer and touched my forehead. “You have a fever, Laura,” she said, but her hand was cold, lacking the warmth of affection. “You just need to rest.” Rest? For what? The last thing I remember was my conversation with Devon at home. We were arguing about how we would tell his family about my pregnancy. His family, the respected and conservative Salvador family was not ready for news like that. Sila, lalo na si Tita Elena, ay may mataas na pagnanais na pakasalan ni Devon ang isang babaeng mula sa isang kilalang pamilya, isang babaeng may yaman at impluwensya. I, Laura Reyes, had none of those things. Just a simple woman, raised by a loving but poor family. "Devon, ang baby..." bulong ko, sinubukan kong umupo, ngunit isang matinding kirot sa aking puson ang pumigil sa akin. Parang may pumunit sa loob ko. "Anong nangyari sa baby?" Bumuntong-hininga si Devon. Umupo siya sa gilid ng kama at hinawakan ang aking kamay, ngunit ang kanyang mga mata ay umiiwas sa akin. "Laura, kausap ko na si mama. Alam mo naman ang sitwasyon, 'di ba? Hindi pa ito ang tamang panahon." Ang aking puso ay nanlamig. "Anong pinagsasabi mo, Devon? Tamang panahon para saan? May buhay na nasa loob ko! Ang anak natin!" Si Tita Elena ay umubo. “Laura, we’ve already discussed this calmly. Devon’s marriage is very important for the family’s business. Hindi ito maaaring magkaroon ng anumang sagabal." Umuusok ang aking pandinig. "Sagabal? Ang anak namin sagabal? Hindi n'yo ba naiintindihan? Magiging magulang kami!" Pumikit si Devon, tila hirap sa kanyang sasabihin. "Laura, pakinggan mo kami. Para rin ito sa ikabubuti mo. Hindi ka handa para dito. At lalong hindi pa ako handa." "Huwag kang magkunwari, Devon!" sigaw ko, kahit na ang aking boses ay basag. "Pinilit mo ako. Sabi mo, pananagutan mo 'to! Sabi mo, mahal mo ako at ang magiging anak natin!" Biglang nagbago ang ekspresyon ng kanyang mukha. Naging malamig at matigas. "Laura, we need to be practical. Nothing good will come to you if you continue with this. Hindi ko na kayang suportahan ka, hindi ko kayang tanggapin ang anak na 'yan ngayon. Hindi kita kayang pakasalan." Naramdaman ko ang pag-ikot ng aking tiyan. Hindi ko maintindihan ang kanyang sinasabi. Hindi niya ako kayang pakasalan? Bakit? Lahat ng pangako, lahat ng matatamis na salita. Nasaan na ang lahat ng iyon? “Ito na ang pinakamabuting paraan, we’ve already taken care of everything. The operation was successfully completed.” sabi ni Tita Elena. I was stunned. Operation? What operation? "Operasyon para saan?" tanong ko, ang aking boses ay halos hindi na lumalabas. Parang may bumara sa aking lalamunan. Si Marco, na tahimik lang kanina, ay nagsalita. "Laura, you had an abortion. It’s nothing to worry about. That’s normal. Para sa ikabubuti ng lahat." It felt like my world collapsed. An abortion? Me? No! I would never do that. I loved my baby. I loved them so much. I would never kill my own child. "Hindi totoo 'yan! Hindi ko 'yan ginawa!" sigaw ko, umiiling-iling. “Laura, calm down,” Devon said, but his grip on my wrist tightened. “We gave you a sedative. You don’t have to worry anymore. It’s over.” It’s over. Those two words pierced my soul like twin blades. It’s over. My child. Our child. Gone. Tears began to stream down my face, uncontrollably. The pain in my lower abdomen worsened, it wasn’t just physical anymore, it was emotional too. It felt like thousands of needles stabbing me all at once. The pain overflowed through my entire body, squeezing every fiber of who I was. "Why did you do this? I never gave you permission! I would never allow you to hurt my baby!” bulong ko, ang aking tinig ay halos hindi na marinig sa pagitan ng mga hikbi. "Laura, makinig ka," sabi ni Devon, ang kanyang boses ay tila may halong pagkaubos. "Mahal kita. Pero hindi pa ito ang oras. Hindi tayo handa. Intindihin mo naman. Wala tayong ibang pagpipilian." Tinawanan ko siya, isang mapait at masakit na tawa. "Anong pagpipilian ang binibigay n'yo sa akin? Tinanggal n'yo ang anak ko! Tinanggal n'yo ang aking kinabukasan! Pinatay n'yo ang pangarap ko!" Napakalaki ng pagbabago sa ekspresyon ni Tita Elena. Nagtaas siya ng kilay, tila naiinis. "Laura, huwag kang mag-eskandalo. Hindi ka na bata. Magpasalamat ka pa nga at inasikaso ka namin. Puwede kang mamatay sa ganitong operasyon kung hindi magaling ang doktor." A chill ran down my spine. Die? The operation… Was something wrong? The intense pain, the dizziness. Nagsimulang gumuho ang aking katawan. Ang aking ulo ay umikot nang mas mabilis. Ang mga mukha nila Devon, Tita Elena, Marco ay nagiging malabo. Nagsimulang manghina ang aking mga mata, tila ayaw nang magbukas. "Laura! Ayos ka lang?" narinig ko ang boses ni Devon, may bahid ng pagkabigla. But it was too late. The pain consumed my entire being. It felt like I was being pulled down into a dark, endless pit. The last thing I saw was the white ceiling turning black, and the last thing I heard was the sound of my own heartbeat slowing... until it was gone. Nagising ako sa isang silid na mas tahimik, mas malamig, at mas malungkot. Wala na ang mga pamilyar na mukha. Wala na si Devon. Ang tanging tunog ay ang aking sariling paghinga at ang patak ng suwero na dumadaloy sa aking ugat. The pain in my lower abdomen was unbearable, as if I had been stabbed multiple times. I tried to sit up, but a wave of intense dizziness hit me. My hands were trembling, and my lips were completely dry. Pumasok ang isang nurse, ang kanyang mukha ay may bahid ng awa. "Ayos ka na ba, ma'am? Kailangan mo po ba ng inumin?" "Ang doktor. Gusto kong kausapin ang doktor. Anong nangyari sa akin?" bulong ko. Bumalik ang nurse na may kasamang isang babaeng doktor. Matanda na ito, may suot na salamin na nakasabit sa kanyang ilong. Ang kanyang mukha ay seryoso, halos malungkot. "Ma'am Reyes." sabi niya, ang kanyang boses ay malumanay ngunit may kalungkutan. Fear began to creep back into my chest. This was bad. I could feel it. "Nangyari ang isang komplikasyon sa iyong procedure, nawalan ka ng maraming dugo. Kinailangan naming magsagawa ng emergency surgery upang iligtas ang iyong buhay." sabi ng doktor. "Anong komplikasyon? Ayos lang ba ang lahat?" Tanong ko, pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko maintindihan. Bumuntong-hininga ang doktor. "Ikinagagalak kong sabihin na nailigtas namin ang iyong buhay. “But Laura, your uterus was severely damaged. We couldn’t save it.” I blinked. What did that mean? “It means,” the doctor continued, “you can no longer get pregnant. You’re infertile now, Laura.” My world completely collapsed. I would never have a child again. The only dream I had left, the last piece of hope I was holding on to after losing my baby was taken from me too. My ability to become a mother was gone. They didn’t just take the life of my child… they also took my ability to give life. Hindi ko na napigilan ang pag-iyak. Ngayon, hindi lang ang kirot sa aking puson ang nararamdaman ko, kundi ang kirot ng isang puso na durog na durog. Wasak na wasak. Ang sakit ay higit pa sa anumang pisikal na paghihirap. Ito ang sakit ng isang kaluluwang nawalan ng lahat. Ang nurse ay lumapit at hinawakan ang aking kamay. "Pasensya na, ma'am." "Umalis kayo, gusto kong mapag-isa." bulong ko, ang aking tinig ay basag. They left the room, leaving me alone, alone with my sobs and the gaping hole in my heart. My baby was gone. I could never have another. Everything I had dreamed of, everything I had loved, was taken from me in the blink of an eye. And all of that was because of the man I loved with all my heart. Devon. Devon and his family. I don’t know how I’ll ever recover from this.