"Of all my heartaches and heart breaks, all my unhappiness and tears, you are my rescue and help me get through""If to have a po

Way back 2018, i was rushed to leave a message to my members because we're going to have our rehearsal. Well, i am the leader of a Cheerleading team. IT is my duty to inform and give some disciplinary actions when needed. Hala!!! Anong oras na wala pa sila (sabay tingin sa relo kung anong oras na and also sa phone to check kung may nagreply na) 12:50 na, i only have two ladies with me. Time passed for about five minutes maybe, while I'm in temper finally they are now coming. "Prepare yourselves, get everything you need and keep your phones". -my command. Opss!! My phone vibrated, a notification from my messenger. How come? I am not expecting for anyone (baka si ate) i opened the message. "Huh?? Practice? Wrong sent ka po" -sss friend Mygoshhhh!! I did not noticed na nasend ko sa iba yung message ko para sa cheerleaders ko. So syempre, nagsorry ako. After that incident, tinignan ko profile nya. Well, hindi sya gwapo but i like his innocent smile. Another thing magseseaman sya. I ignored him kasi nga syempre, dalagang Filipina ako kahit half Canadian ako. Though, we have little covo. Pero napahiya talaga ako doon ahh. Time flies, akala ko wala na sya(hindi patay), hindi na kami magkakausap. Pero hindi ko alam kung ano pumasok sa utak ko at pumayag ako na kausapin sya. Hahaha, uso pa noon yung "LANDIAN THING". Pero hindi sa pagmamalinis hindi ko sya nilandi, we became friends. At sa kinalaunan ng aming pag uusap nabanggit nya that he'll be going to fly out of the country where he is right now (Philippines). I thought dun na sya titira HAHAHA! onboard training lang pala. But before daw sya umalis uuwi muna sya sa province nila. Sige magkachat kami hanggang sa nakauwi sya. Ganoon padin, nagbibiruan na kami (may paganun na kami, nagkagaanan na din ng loob for almost 7 months na magkachat). Binibiro ko pa sya na ihahatid ko sya sa Airport. Pero honestly parang gusto ko talagang gawin (as a friend? And para mameet ko sya in person). Bumalik na sya ng Manila, wala syang paramdam. "Okay, sabagay kachat lang ako".-sabi ko sa sarili ko. A Day later nagbukas ako ng sss account ko. Nasa byahe na pala sya hindi nya manlang sinabi. "Nasa Japan na ako" nag popup sa phone ko. Hahaha sya,,,,, nag message na sya. Kailangan ko lang pala munang bukasan ang f*******: app ko para magmessage sya, hahhaa charr anong connect? Kamustahan----- hanggang sa napunta sa tanong na... Pwede bang, maging tayo na? Silence---- i did not reply for a period of time... "Huh??? Anong sinasabi nito? Pinagtitripan ata ako nito." -self. Bahala na kung trip lang to, lakas loob kung sinabi na "hindi ei hindi nga kita kilala in person. Pero aantayin kita sa manila." Nagulat ako sa sumunod na sinabi nya" sige pag wala pa pag balik ko, akin kana". Okay! Pero kung wala pa, kung wala ka pang asawa. Tugon ko. Matapos yun, wala nanaman kaming communication 1 or 2 months. Birthday ko, inantay ko na igreet nya ako, pero wala so i sent him a message. "Birthday ko grabi, ikaw lang yung hindi nag greet saakin". Tagal ah, as in 1 week bago nagreply. Yung reply lang "Okay, belated." So i was been disappointed, umasa ako igigreet ako kasi friends naman kami. Kaya yun hindi ko na sya nireply. Pinili kong hindi na sya ireply. "Baka may jowa na." .. Nagulat ako isang m gabi habang pauwi ako kasama Bestfriend ko, nag attend kami noon sa isang event as muse. Unknown number tumatawag 5x and guess what; it is an international call. I am thinking for this possible caller, malabong si ate kasi nasa yung number ni ate nakasave na. So i concluded that this is one of my friends working abroad. I assumed that the ones who's been calling me is him so i chatted him and asked (para hindi ganoon ka halata). "Ikaw ba yung tumatawag sakin?." He replied: "No, bakit ako tatawag? Ang Mahalng load dito para itawag lang." Okay, thanks. -replied. After that i never tried or attempt to chat him. February Opss! Naka alala, to. "Happy Valentine's Day -kamusta naman?". Nag iisip talaga ako kung irereply ko pero sige nireply ko; "Okay naman". Nagchachat pa sya pero hindi ko na pinansin. October, dinala si papa sa Hospital. Kailangan ko ng kausap, ichachat ko sana sya pero, naisip ko wag na pala. Anong pakialam nun sakin? Wala!. Iyak ako ng iyak kasi after 2 days nya mag stay sa private room ng hospital, he was declared dead but in God's miracle bumalik yung pag pump ng puso nya. Pero si papa dalhin sa nangyari nilagay na sya sa ICU. I was blaming myself for some instances. Unti-unti ko ng napabayaan ang pag aaral ko. At times that I'm in school i badly cry in front of my friends. Dumating pa nga sa point na, during our midterm examination na nabasa yung test paper ko so i need to ask for another copy. My dad stayed about 1½ month at the ICU. So the private room beside it becomes my house, do as my mom . Finally lalabas na sya sa ICU makakalabas na sya. Ililipat lang pala ulit sa private room. But it's okay at least there will be no more glass sepating us. But then a lot of apparatus and equipments were being put to his boby parts na paunti-unting tinatanggal. Kahit madalas tulog sya okay lang kasi pag gising sya we do the things we used to like lambingan. I am his sweet bebe anyway. And as the time requires i also become his personal nurse. Weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds passed by, papa conquered it all. Uuwi na kami. Sa wakas!! But before everything, i and the need to settle ever. As his personal nurse i was instructed and reminded what to do; from taking his medicines, foods (naka NGT na sya; i need to blend everything before letting him eat) and also cleaning his body. Yes!! Ako naghuhugas ng private parts nya, pag nagdudumi sya. Hindi daw kasi nila kaya, so naglakas loob na ako na ako na. Ayoko kasi nakikita ko si papa nasasaktan when doing things to him. That's why i gently do everything. It becomes my daily routine. (Yes, wala si Yaya ei pinauwi muna namin ng Philippines, hindi kasi namin alam na may mangyayaring ganto) Lumalamig na, December na pala.. I was cooking meal for our dinner Sinigang na Hipon. Ang weird ng feeling ko, but i used to ignore it. My father can't speak any word clearly due to his situation but he was able to pronounced the word "ma" while looking somewhere inside. After eating, while washing the the dishes here we go again; this certain feeling.. Minute later, i and my niece heard a lady's laughter wherein it is late night and we're only five persons inside. It scares me and even my niece but we dont need to think of it. I sleep beside my dad though I'm scared. The next morning, my uncle went to us at home and informed us that our grandmother passed away last night. We haven't told it to dad cause we don't want him to be stressed. I went to lola's burial cause mom can't go and be a representative of the family. Weeks later, i have a strange feeling. Daddy kept on looking at me. So as i can't stop my eyes from falling its tears. Before i sleep i open the oxygen cause i notice the lacking of his breath like the normal days. Mama told me not to sleep beside papa that night cause i am too exposed to him. Wherein his body really smells like different kinds of medicines like what we can smell from hospitals. Maybe 1:00 am exact my mom woke up and check for dad an hour after ako matulog. Ginising nya si kuya, then si ate and nagising na din pamangkin ko kaedad ko lang and last ako. Mama approached me, "bhe, si papa mo hindi na humihinga." Natigilan ako, i dont know what to do. Finally i went to papa and check his pulses, i touch his body and it felt cold. I can't say a word; i just hug and kiss him to his forehead. And noticed that my tear are slowly falling. Family and friends sent their sympathy. Till the last night, i gave the very last message na nakapagpa iyak ng husto sa lahat. Wala ng tulugan to until the day na dadalhin na sya sa himlayan. I never expected na ganto kabilis yung pangyayari. Yung papaliguan ko lang sya at ipagluluto. At yung magkasama kaming mamalengke at nagtapos na.. Surely i will miss my Dad.. Move forward!!! Ano ba yan mag eexam nanaman finals na pala. Worried na ako. Kaya ko pa kaya? I even doubted myself. Pero gagawin ko to para kay papa, kakayanin ko para sakanila ni mama. So, natapos na nga yung 1 week examination. Sa wakas!!! Hindi ko masyado pinapansin yung phone ko. May nagmessage pala, "sya", saying na uuwi na sya, at the same time nangangamusta . Alam pala nya na wala na si papa kasi nagpost ako. Ganun lang tapos wala na ulit. Months later nagkakausap na ulit kami paminsan minsan. Somehow nakakarecover nako. Magkausap padin kami hanggang sa nalaman namin yung isa sa mga kapatid namin sa ibang bansa nasa U.S hospital due to nalaglagan ng bata sa sinapupunan. Hindi muna namin sasabihin kay mama pero naunahan na kami ng asawa ng isa sa kuya ko. Sinabi na pala kay mama,natural nagalit sya pero wala syempre nagexplain nalang ako sakanya. 2 months after!!! Inuwi na yung labi ni ate sa Manila, yes!! Patay sya. So,we need to immediately Go to Manila. Nalason na kasi yung ibang organs nya. Halos hindi na namin makilala. Well hindi ko din talaga masyadong kilala yung kilala ate ko sa personal kasi i grew up na hindi sya nakikita. Ang tagal na kasi nya dun, hanggang dun na nagkapamilya. Nasa kasagsagan kami ng pag luluksa. Magkausap padin kami ni Lynniel hanggang sa nakauwi na sya ng Manila. Yes, hindi pala nya alam na Taga Canada ako, kaya noong aalis palang sya kahit gustohin kong ihatid sya hindi ko magawa. Hahaha napakaimposible naman noon. At ayon nga.... Matapos ang libing ni ate nagsi uwian na sila sa mga kanya kanyang province nila, kami ni yaya naiwan, while si mama bumalik na nga ng Canada. Days Later-------' At dahil nasa Philippines na sya parati nanaman kami mag kausap. Hanggang sa-------we decided to meet. Well, 1:00 pm yung usapan pero 2:30 na ako nagtravel papunta sa meeting place may dinaanan ako ei. Pero wow ah malapit nako nasa dorm pa sya. Wow, first time ko makipag kita ako pa yung pag aantayin. Until i have reached the place-- 5 mins. Wala pa. 10 mins sasaakay nako pabalik--- oppss bumaba ako ng escalator maghahanap na sana ako ng Taxi kaso malapit na daw sya, so bumalik ako sa place ko dati. Until another 5 mins of waiting, finally he just arrived. "Buti nalang hindi ako pumorma ng mangmalakasan" -self 2 mins ata bago kami nagkasumpungan. Hindi ko sana papansinin kaso bad yun and andun na naman na. Hmmmm....... What's that?? Hindi kaba naligo?? Maasim ka girl. -sabi ko. Ahh, kumain ako sa may dorm............... Explaining sya. And asked me may perfume ka? Wala sanitary kits lang dala ko (sabay abot ng alcohol). "And laki ng bag walang dalang kung ano like alcohol or perfume" - bulong nanaman sa sarili. Haysst, hayaan na nga... So after that tumawa lang sya pagkahiram nya ng alcohol saakin. We walked around the area nalang. Ang daldal nya promise, kaya hindi ako nabagot. And my favorite part kumain, opss syempre libre nya. Haysst madaldal talaga sya. Hahhaa ang cute ngayon lang ako iniorder ng lalaki, feeling ko tuloy prinncess nako in a small way. (Sabagay, si yaya naman kasi parati kong inuutusan ko mag order). After eating,..... my Yaya kept on sending messages, buti nalang tapos n kami kumain; asking ba namn kung asan na ako, natawag na daw si Lolo sa Landline ng house and kay Yaya.. "Pauwi na po" i replied. So, dali-dali kaming naglakad at naghanap ng masasakyan. Magkaiba kami ng lugar na uuwian kaya hindi na ako nagpasama, isa pa baka mahuli pa ako na nakikipag meet up, ayaw ko pa naman mapulutan ni Yaya.. Honey(pangalan na nagpop up sa phone ko) Oppps tumatawag agad? Namiss ata ako agad.(nag assume na ako agad) Aba may patext pa: "Honey good evening thank you sa pagsama, i never expected na magpapakita ka talaga sakin. Actually hindi talaga ako galing sa Dorm . Tinitignan ko lang talaga kung ikaw yung nakikita ko. Ang ganda mo talaga kahit naiinip ka. Yung mga pag sulyap mo sa relo, pag check kung mag rereply ba ako. Hahaha. Ang saya ko. Para akong nasa ulap while eating. Matagal din kitang pinag mamasdan sa malayo, kaya yun napakain nalang ako ng street foods para hindi moko mahalata. Nakakatawa lang, para akong timang na spy mo. Muntik ka na talagang umalis kaya nagpakita nako. Kinabahan ako nung muntikan ka ng sumakay pauwi". "Of all my heartaches and heart breaks, all my unhappiness and tears, you are my rescue and help me get through". I am Lea Yndra; Mapagbiro, Matalino, Mayaman, Mabait pero medyo maldita, Sabay sa agos, at syempre Marupok. 20 Years old, from Canada (half Canadian,and half Pinoy) "If to have a power, I'll choose for teleportation to have you and be with you anywhere you wanna to". Lynniel Dale; Moreno, Matalino, Marinero, Mabait, May sense of humor at higit sa lahat Mapagmahal. 22 years old, from Philippines "Ma'am Yndra!!!!! Gumising kana, anong oras na po. It's about time for you to prepare yourself, You need to go home(Canada). You'd been staying here in the Philippines for a couple of years, you need to go home". Haysst, will you please stop! Yaya!!! Can't you see? I'm sleeping? Ma'am Yndra your Grandfather reminded me that our flight will be 4:30 pm today. Tyak pag hindi nanaman tayo natuloy magagalit yun. Yaya,kalma kakausapin ko nalang si Lola if ever hindi tayo matuloy. Ma'am, sige na po. Bumangon kana. We need to go. Ano ba naman tong si yaya excited na bumalik. Ano ba, yaya ganoon mo na ba kamiss si Kuya Roy (personal driver ko sa Canada)? Ma'am naman, sabay smile ni yaya while may pablush. Oo nga pala magpapa alam muna ako sa boyfriend ko na aalis na ako.. Wow. Oo nga pala naging kami, As napag usapan. (Trip ko lang gusto ko lng itry). May ilang oras pa kami para magkita at magpaalam and enjoy these remaining hours. Huhhhh.. naiisip ko palang na babalik nako ng Canada parang.... Roaming around Manila becomes our bonding, we do it as often as our time can. Till the time we say goodbye kasi we need to finish our studies. By the way, as we have our bonding, honestly, i already fell in love. So by the time of my travel, road home. I am missing him, there is something in me saying I'll wait for him until time comes para magkita at magkasama kami.