Darkest Light

DL 15: The Agony

Zion POV

I'm here at the guild with my friends. We are all fixing ourselves for the party later this evening.

"Hey Zion, what's that?" Rex asked.

He is looking at my necklace. Nagandahan din yata siya sa regalo sa akin ni Vile.

"It looks enchanted and beautiful! Where can I buy a necklace like that?" He asked again.

"Vile gave me this necklace," I said while smiling.

They are all looking at my necklace...

"It looks familiar. I think I saw it from a book while reading about magical amulets," Dexter said.

"Did you ask him what kind of necklace is that?" Jared asked.

I nodded...

"He said that it is a moon necklace."

"A moon necklace?"

We all looked at Wanda. She looks quite serious because of what she heard from us.

"Why? Is there a problem with this necklace, Wanda?" I asked curiously.

She's an expert in creating and casting spells. I know that she is quite knowledgeable.

"A moon necklace is an amulet. Kung sino man ang gumawa niyan, malalaman niya kung nasa panganib ang buhay mo at ganun ka rin sa kanya. It will also double your magic power so it means that you're a lot stronger now," she said.

I smiled...

"I already know that. Vile told me..."

"Wow! It's so cool!" Jester said.

"Yeah! Can I ask Vile to make one for me?" Dexter asked.

Wanda shook her head nervously...

"A healer can only make a moon necklace because of strong emotions. Isang beses lang sila pwedeng gumawa ng ganyan," she said.

"Ay... Sayang naman! Ang swerte mo Zion," sabi ni Rex.

"Do you know why Vile gave that to you?" Wanda asked me.

"Hmmm... Because we're friends and he cares for me so much," I said.

"No... It's not just like that."

She sigh...

Kumunot na lang ang noo ko. I don't understand her. I can feel that she is trying to say something.

"The Healer / Wielder of a moon necklace will give it to someone that they love so much to assure the safety of that person so it means that­­-"

Kumunot na ang noo ko...

"Vile loves you so much," Dexter continued.

Nabigla ako dahil sa sinabi nila. Hindi 'to pwede! Kailangan ko itong isauli kay Vile!

"Yuck, so gay..." Jester said.

"Kaya pala sobra siyang nag-aalala sa'yo palagi," sabi ni Jared.

"Oo nga... Tapos grabe siya kung alagaan ka," sabi naman ni Rex.

Maglalakad na sana ako palabas pero pinigilan ako ni Wanda...

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"I will return this necklace to Vile!" I said furiously.

"No! You shouldn't!"

"Why?"

"He made that for you! It will make you stronger! It will protect you! Ginawa niya 'yan para sa'yo diba? Only you can use that necklace. Hindi naman 'yan gagana sa iba at mawawalan ng saysay ang cost ng spell ni Vile kung ibabalik mo 'yan sa kanya," she said seriously.

"Huh? What's the cost of making this necklace?" I asked seriously.

She sigh...

"His soul; his life..."

All of us were shocked...

"Vile is madly in love with you, Zion," Jester said.

"I think he's obessed," Rex said.

"Pero kung ako sa'yo, Zion. I'm not gonna return that necklace. Ginawa niya 'yan para sa'yo. It's a gift right? It is making you stronger," Jester said.

"That necklace symbolizes love and life. You should clear things with him. I'm sure that he really love you, Zion. He can only make a necklace like that once in his life. Don't return it to him! He is only assuring your safety," Wanda said.

I clenched my fists... Why he is keeping a gross secret like this?

I trusted him! Bakit hindi niya sinabi na may gusto pala siya sa akin?

I don't want people who are keeping secrets. Kaya pala iba ang actions niya pagdating sa akin.

Akala ko sadyang maalaga lang talaga siya. Akala ko maaalalahanin lang talaga siya pero hindi... Now, I fully understand everything.

I don't like a gay lover...

Vile POV

There is a party in our guild later this evening. Naghahanap na rin ako ng susuotin ko. Honestly, I don't want to attend in that party.

I just don't feel having a party right now. I saw a*****e and they are selling a white coat with golden linings. It's beautiful... Pumasok na kaagad ako sa loob at tinignan ko ang price ng coat.

Lola Veron gave me some money and it's enough to buy this coat. I will wear this coat later this evening.

"Vile..."

I looked back because someone called me. It's Sandra...

"Hi Sandra!" I said nicely.

She's just staring at me with her curious face. She looks serious and I don't get her.

"Are you ok, Sandra?" I asked anxiously.

She bit her lip...

"Can we talk?" She asked nervously.

I nodded...

We started walking and she's completely quiet. I don't know why she is acting like this.

Nakarating kaming dalawa sa beach dito sa Kreterra. I really love this place because it's quite peaceful.

I can feel the fresh air that is touching my face...

"What's the matter Sandra? Why do you look nervous and sad?" I asked.

"Vile... I know that Zion already told you that he likes me and he is courting me. You knew it right?"

I nodded...

"I thought, you're mad at me because I'm the first one who knew that you love him."

"You're a seer, right? You should know that I'm happy for both of you," I said while smiling.

She looks in shock because of what I've said...

"I'm a seer. I can predict what will happen but I'm not capable of predicting someone's feelings. Why are you happy for us? Why are you not mad at me? You treat me as your bestfriend and I like the person that you love. I understand if you are so mad at me," she said quietly.

I smiled at her...

"No, I'm not mad at you. I love him right? That's it! I just love him. I just want to ensure his safety and happiness. Of course, I felt sad when I knew that he is courting you but I'm happy for him. I just want to make him smile, ok? I'm not expecting that he will also love me the same way that I love him. I'm not asking for anything in return. Alam ko kung hanggang saan lang dapat ako. Ganun naman dapat ang totoong pagmamahal diba? Hindi selfish; hindi nagtatanim ng galit. I just want him to be happy and I am also happy for him," I said honestly.

She is just looking at me with her shocked face...

"Oh God... You're that kind? A pope should beatify you!"

I laughed because of what she said...

"I envy you. Zion is so lucky to have a person like you. Mahal na mahal mo talaga siya."

"Hmmm... In fact, I gave him a moon necklace," I said.

Nagulat ako at bigla akong kinurot ni Sandra sa giliran ko.

"Hey! Ang sakit nun!" Sabi ko.

"Hey ka rin! Why did you give a moon necklace to him? I know that it will make him a lot stronger but I also know that if he die, you will die too!"

"I know that... Mabubuhay naman siya kung sakali na ako ang mamatay pero masisira 'yung necklace na 'yun," sabi ko.

Napahawak na lang siya sa sintido niya...

"You're madly in love with him..."

"Yeah... Sandra, please take care of Zion if both of you will end up together. I'm happy for both of you. Noong nakita ko siya na nakangiti nang dahil sa'yo, masayang-masaya rin ako para sa kanya. Just let me do my promise with him. I promised that I will do everything to protect him. Whatever happens, I will always keep that promise."

Bigla na lang niya akong niyakap ng mahigpit...

"We're so lucky to have you Vile! You're too kind! Salamat kasi nakilala ka namin. Salamat kasi ikaw pa rin ang bestfriend ko. Hmmm... No! You're my brother now!" She said.

I smiled...

"I'm happy to hear that..."

Maya-maya ay kumalas na siya sa pagkakayakap niya sa akin...

"Oh paano? Malapit nang dumilim. I will fix myself for a party later. Maiwan na muna kita, Vile."

"Bye bye..."

Kinurot niya pa ang pisngi ko kaya natawa na lang ako. Tumakbo na palayo si Sandra and I know that she is really happy because of what happened.

After minute, I walked away from the beach. Mag-aayos na rin ako para sa party mamaya.

Pumunta ako sa guild at nagbihis na ako. I'm looking at the mirror. I'm happy because this white coat fits me well.

"Don't be too kind; they will abuse you..."

Tumayo ang mga balahibo ko...

"Who is that?" I asked nervously.

Wala namang ibang tao sa room pero may narinig akong nagsalita. It's so creepy... Natakot ako bigla.

Nagmadali na akong lumabas papunta sa venue ng party. Nakabihis na pala silang lahat. Some of my friends are staring at me. Hindi ko gusto ang mga titig nila; parang may something.

Nakita ko na si Zion. He's wearing a coat designed like a prince. He looks so handsome; so dashing.

"Hi Zion! You look so handsome with your outfit," I said cheerfully.

He looked at me with his serious face. I can feel that there is something that is bothering him...

"Hmmm... Do you have a problem?" I asked anxiously.

He looks so serious like something happened...

"Let's talk later," he said furiously.

Umalis na siya at iniwan niya ako. What happened to him? Wala naman akong ginawang mali. Bumigat tuloy ang pakiramdam ko.

Nakatingin lang ako kay Zion. Pinuntahan pala niya si Sandra. Ang ganda rin ni Sandra sa suot niya na sky blue gown. They looked perfect for each other.

"Hmmm... Vile, we heard that you're gonna sing a for us. It's your turn," a sorcerer said to me.

Sumasayaw na rin ang ibang mga sorcerer. Masaya rin pala ang celebration dito sa Kreterra.

Hawak ko na ang microphone at kakanta na ako...

(Play the multimedia above)

I found a love for me

Darling just dive right in

And follow my lead

Lahat sila ay nagtinginan bigla sa akin...

Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet 

I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was

I will not give you up this time

But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own

And in your eyes you're holding mine

Sumasayaw si Sandra at Zion. They look like a perfect match. It's a bittersweet feeling for me...

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath

But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

Bagay na bagay silang dalawa. Bagay na bagay ang kanta ko para sa kanila. I don't know but warm tears are falling from my eyes

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know

She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home

I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets

To carry love, to carry children of our own

We are still kids, but we're so in love

Fighting against all odds

I know we'll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be my girl, I'll be your man

I see my future in your eyes

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful

I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

Yeah... I don't deserve Zion. Kahit kalian ay hindi siya mapapasakin. Malabo na mahalin niya rin ako kagaya ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

I have faith in what I see

Now I know I have met an angel in person

And she looks perfect

I don't deserve this

You look perfect tonight...

Nagpalakpakan bigla lahat ng sorcerers. Sandra is just smiling at me. I wiped my tears using my hand.

"You're a slugger Vile! Your voice is angelic," Wanda said.

"Yeah, your voice sounds like a siren. Parang na-hypnotize yata kami," sabi ni Ms. Elena.

"Thank you po..."

"Of course magaling si Vile. Ako kaya ang nag-train sa kanya," sabi ni Lola Veron.

Ngumiti na lang ako sa kanila. I looked at Sandra and Zion. They are just dancing...

I'm just looking at them...

"It's ok Vile," Wanda said.

Nabigla tuloy ako dahil sa sinabi niya...

"We already know that you love him," she said and then she smiled.

Mukhang napansin nila ang kwintas na regalo ko kay Zion at alam nila ang ibig-sabihin nun.

"Hmmm... Sige na, maglilibot na lang muna ako," sabi ko.

Umalis na muna ako. Pumunta ako sa veranda dito kung saan ginaganap ang party.

Why I am feeling this sadness inside?

I can't deny the fact that I envy Sandra. I want Zion to love me. I want him to dance with me in this party. I want him to like me that same way that he likes Sandra.

But I know that it is impossible. I should accept the fact that I'm just loving him with no expecting of return.

I sigh...

Hanggang dito lang ako...

"Vile..."

It's Zion's voice. Ngumiti ako at lumingon na ako sa kanya...

"Hmmm... Dapat sinasayaw mo si Sandra ngayon. Why are you here?" I asked nicely.

He looks serious... Nawala na rin ang ngiti sa mukha ko...

"Don't pretend... I already know the truth," he said seriously.

Nagulat ako at bigla niyang pinigtas ang kwintas sa leeg niya na niregalo ko sa kanya.

"Take this... You shouldn't give this to me."

Sinara ko na lang ang palad niya...

"I made that for you. I want to make you stronger; I want to ensure your safety," I said sincerely.

Nagulat ako at bigla na lang niyang ibinato ang necklace na niregalo ko.

Tumalsik ang kwintas sa malayo...

Bumigat lalo ang pakiramdam ko...

"You want to ensure the connection between us! You are hoping that someday, I'm gonna love you!"

Nagulat ako dahil sa sigaw niya... He's so mad at me...

"No Zion... It's not like that. Please, let me explain. Please, don't get mad at me," I said silently.

"I don't need your explanation! You are keeping a creepy secret! You're gay! I don't need your protection!"

"Zion... It's not like that..."

"No! Don't touch me!"

Yumuko na lang ako. Hindi ko siya magawang titigan.

Kitang-kita ko ang galit sa mga mata niya. Galit na galit siya sa akin.

Tumulo na ang mga luha ko dahil sa mga sinabi niya sa akin...

Ang sakit-sakit...

"Hey! Why are you crying? Totoo naman lahat ng sinabi ko! Akala ko pa naman mabait ang mga healer pero iba ka! You're keeping a horrible secret from me!"

Natakot ako sa lakas ng pagkakasigaw niya sa akin. Pinag-titinginan na kami ng ibang sorcerers. It hurts so deep. Ang sakit-sakit ng mga sinasabi niya sa akin.

"Kaya siguro tuwang-tuwa ka noong nahalikan mo ako para mawala ang lason ni Ivy! Ayos lang sa'yo na mapahamak para lang manyakin ako! Nakakadiri ka!"

Nagulat ako dahil sa sinabi niya. Ang sakit... Hindi ko ito kinakaya.

Ganito ba kababa ang tingin sa akin ni Zion? Masama ba ako sa paningin niya?

Mahal ko lang naman siya...

Napaatras na lang ako... Tuloy-tuloy lang ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko. Ang sikip ng dibdib ko...

"I don't want to see you again! Stay away from me! You're disgusting! You're gross!"

"Hey Zion! Calm down! What's happening here?" I heard Ms. Elena asked.

"Zion, why are you mad at him? Vile, are you ok? Why are you crying?" Wanda asked.

Nagsilapitan na pala sila sa amin...

Hindi ko magawang tumingin sa kanila. Nahihiya ako... Totoo siguro na bakla ako kasi mahal ko si Zion.

Wala na akong mukha na maihaharap sa kanila...

"Bagay na bagay sa'yo ang pangalan mo! You're Vile! You're horrible!" He shouted.

Parang kutsilyo na bumaon sa utak at puso ko ang sinabi niya.

Yeah... I'm Vile... I'm horrible...

I can't take it...

It's too painful...

I felt shattered like a glass...

Tumakbo na ako palayo sa kanila. Hindi ko na rin makita ang daan dahil puno ng luha ang mga mata ko.

Naramdaman ko na nadapa ako at nasugat ang tuhod ko. Pinilit ko pa rin na tumayo.

Lumayo na ako sa guild. Tumakbo na ako sa gubat...

I'm gross... He's right, I'm disgusting...

I'm not worthy to become a part of his life... I'm nothing but a useless fag...