Darkest Light

DL 4: Close?

I'm here at the beach. Hinayan ko na lang na mag-party sila sa guild para sa bagong healer.

I really don't like so many people. Minsan, mas gusto ko ang mapag-isa kasi mas nakakapag-isip ako.

I'm throwing stones here at the beach. This place is so peaceful and quiet. Ito ang lugar na pinakagusto ko.

I can feel the warmth of the sunlight on my face. Palubog na rin kasi ang araw at malapit nang gumabi.

I remember my past; my dark past. My parents were both killed by a sorcerer in a war. Now, I can feel that there will be a war in the next few months or years.

I should become stronger. I have to avenge my parents. Gusto ko na mabigyan ng hustisya ang pagkamatay nila. I was only a kid when they both died.

I have so many friends here but sometimes, I feel alone. Kaya hindi ko hinahayaan na mapalapit ako sa iba. I want someone who will understand and comfort me with this agony that I'm bearing pero natatakot ako na makipag-close sa iba kasi natatakot ako na maiwang mag-isa.

Ganun naman kasi diba? Mahihirapan ka na mabuhay kapag nawala sa'yo ang mahahalagang tao sa buhay mo lalo pa sa akin at may possibility na may mawala sa mga kaibigan ko.

I should stay cold to protect myself from pain. Kilala ko ang sarili ko, kapag napalapit ako sa iba ay masasanay ako na kasama ang taong 'yun. Kapag nasanay ako na kasama ang taong 'yun, ayoko nang mawala siya sa akin kahit kaibigan lang.

Kaya nga mag-isa lang ako sa bahay. Malaki naman ang bahay ko. My parents gave me that house for my future and that house will never become a home. It is just a house. Home is only for family and I am alone inside it.

I sigh...

Sana dumating ang araw na maramdaman 'kong kumpleto ako. 'Yung wala nang takot. 'Yung totoong masaya ako.

Nasaan na kaya 'yung sorcerer na magmamahal sa akin ng totoo? Nasaan na kaya ang sorcerer na nakita ni Sandra sa mga mata niya?

Nabigla ako at nagliliparan ang mga ibon.

Tumingin ako sa direksyon kung saan sila lumilipad.

Even fishes are swimming into that side of the beach. I can also see butterflies and other animals. May pinupuntahan sila.

I am so curious about it. It's unusual na magsama-sama ang mga hayop diba? Sinundan ko sila kung saan sila papunta.

After a few seconds of walking fast, I can hear an enchanting voice.

(Play the multimedia above)

You with the sad eyes

Don't be discouraged, oh I realize

Tumayo ang mga balahibo ko sa ganda ng boses. It's like a siren. No wonder na nagpupuntahan ang mga hayop. It's enchanting; it's magical.

It's hard to take courage

In a world full of people

You can lose sight of it all

The darkness inside you

Can make you feel so small

Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad at sa parte na 'yun ng beach ay nakita ko si Vile. Siya pala ang kumakanta. Parang masaya ang mga hayop na nakikipaglaro sa kanya habang kumakanta siya.

So, this is one of his special traits. He can connect with animals. Tumayo na lang ako dito habang pinapanuod siya at nakikinig sa maganda niyang boses..

Show me a smile then

Don't be unhappy

Can't remember when

I last saw you laughing

This world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

Just, call me up

'Cause I will always be there

And I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

I see your true colors

Shining through (true colors)

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow

Ooh ooh ooh like a rainbow

His voice is really good and it's captivating. Huminto na siya sa pagkanta.

"You have a great voice; you're gifted," I said.

Nagulat pa siya at napatingin siya sa side ko. Nagliparan bigla palayo ang mga ibon at nagsi-alisan na palayo ang mga hayop.

"Ka-kanina ka pa nandiyan?" Kabado niyang tanong.

I nodded...

"Nakakahiya..." Mahina niyang sabi.

So, he is a shy person...

"Bakit nga pala nandito ka? Our guild has a party for you, right?" I asked.

"Hmmm... I want to see the whole guild. Naglibot lang ako at napansin ko na may beach pala dito. This place is so beautiful and peaceful so I came here," he said.

He looks so innocent and timid. Siguro nahihiya siya sa akin.

"I-ikaw? Bakit nandito ka?" He asked.

"I just want to be alone," I said.

Nabigla siya sa sinabi ko at napansin ko na napahawak siya sa damit niya. Parang nalungkot siya at yumuko na lang siya.

"I'm sorry... Si-sige aalis na lang ako. Sorry naistorbo kita," he said nervously.

Bigla na siyang tumalikod. Maglalakad na sana siya palayo so I held his wrist tightly.

He looked at me innocently and he has no idea about everything. Binitawan ko na lang ang wrist niya.

"No... Please don't leave. Hindi ko naman sinabi na umalis ka dahil naistorbo mo ako. In fact, I heard your voice so I came here," I said.

Umiwas siya ng tingin sa akin. I saw his lips curved a bit. Is he smiling?

"Hmmm... Zion, pasensya na nga pala kasi hindi maganda 'yung pagkakakilala mo sa akin sa school."

"It's ok, tapos na 'yun," I said.

"Kung ganun... Can we be friends?" He asked while smiling.

Inaabot niya na naman sa akin ang kamay niya. Nakipag-shake hands na ako this time.

"Friends..." I said.

"Ang ganda pala talaga dito sa Kreterra kagaya ng sinasabi sa akin ni Lola Veron. I love this place. I hope that I will befriend all sorcerers here," he said.

"Mabait naman ang mga nandito. Don't worry... I believe that if you're a healer, then you're kind. Magiging kaibigan mo lahat," I said.

"Alam mo Zion, matagal na kitang gusto na maging kaibigan..."

Napatingin ako sa kanya. Mukha siyang nahihiya. Hindi siya makatingin sa akin. He is just looking at the sea.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Syempre sikat ka at mabait. I know how kind you are. Malaki ang utang na loob ko sa'yo. You made me like this. You're the reason why I became a healer. You are really cool everytime that I see you fighting your opponents," he said while smiling.

Napakunot ang noo ko dahil sa mga sinabi niya. I don't understand him. I don't know what he is talking about.

"What are you saying? I don't get you," I said.

"Sorry... I talked too much. Matagal na kasi kitang gustong makita ulit. Siguro, tsaka ko na lang ipapaliwanag sa'yo lahat kapag na-recognize mo na ako," he said while smiling.

Malaki ang utang na loob niya sa akin? Matagal na niya akong gustong makita? I don't understand him. Ayan na naman siya. He become weird again. I don't understand him.

Hindi ko naman naaalala kung saan ko siya nakita. I never met him before.

"Wag mo na muna isipin ang mga sinabi ko. Ipapaliwanag ko rin naman sa'yo next time," he said.

He is just smiling. I don't have an idea who is he.

"I'm really happy to meet you again, Zion. I'm really happy because we're friends now. I will fulfill my promises to you," he said.

Hindi na lang ako nagsalita. Masyado na siyang weird. I don't really get this guy.

"Siya nga pala, kamusta na ang buhay mo?" he asked.

"Hmmm... Ok naman," I said.

He smiled at me at he looked into my eyes.

"I know you're not," he said.

Kumunot na lang ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi niya. He's so weird but what he said is true.

"You feel empty. You feel alone," he said.

"How did you know?" I asked curiously.

"I'm a healer right? I can also feel your heartbeat. I know what you feel. I can see emptiness in your eyes," he said seriously.

Wala pa lang kawala ang emotions ko sa isang 'to. I'm pretty impressed.

"Please smile always. You're more dashing when you smile," he said.

He's kinda sweet and honest. Mali pala ang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya noong una.

"My life is full of loneliness. Both of my parents died. Masisisi mo ba ako kung hindi ako masyadong ngumingiti?" I asked.

"I have no parents. I have no one. Never 'kong nakilala ang mga magulang ko and as far as I know, they are both dead. I smile not just because I'm happy. I still smile to share happiness with people," he said and then he smiled at me.

Tumahimik na lang ako. I looked away from him. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit pero medyo napangiti niya ako.

I'm so impressed. May sense pala siyang kausap...

"So, ikaw naman... How's your life?" I asked.

"I'm contented with my life. I'm happy to be in this guild. I'm happier to meet you again. I'm happy to study in a school. I'm so lucky... Pinapaaral ako ni Ms. Elena. I feel so happy to have all of this. Swerte ako sa mga nangyayari. I feel so blessed at wala na akong mahihiling pa," he said.

He's sincere and positive person. Akala ko hindi ko siya makakasundo pero tama nga si Wanda, he looks so kind.

"Siya nga pala, may pasok pa bukas. Sumabay ka na rin sa amin nila Sandra na pumasok sa school. Delikado ang daan papunta dito sa Kreterra," I said.

"Thank you..."

"So... Saan ka naman tumutuloy?" I asked.

"Hmmm... Actually, dito ako sa guild tumutuloy," he said.

"Huh? So you mean dito ka matutulog sa guild? Malayo ito sa school tapos delikado ang daan papunta dito. Hindi ka ba natatakot na baka may mangyari sa'yo?" I asked.

He shook his head...

"Hindi pwede na araw-araw 'kang umuuwi dito habang school days," I said.

"Well, I have no choice. I couldn't ask for more. Sobra na nga ang ibinibigay sa akin ni Ms. Elena. Hiyang-hiya na nga ako eh," he said innocently.

I sigh...

He looks kind and harmless. Maybe, it's not a bad idea for me to offer a help for him.

"Hmmm... Malapit lang ang house ko sa school. Sa akin ka na muna tumuloy. Delikado ang daan papunta dito lalo na kung mag-isa ka lang. Don't worry, mag-isa lang naman ako sa bahay," I said.

Nabigla siya... Napakurap-kurap pa ang mga mata niya na parang hindi makapaniwala.

"Really? Are you serious?" He asked.

I nodded...

I was shocked because he hugged my back tightly.

"You're really kind Zion. Thank you so much!"

Parang nailang tuloy ako bigla dahil sa pagkakayakap niya sa likod ko. Maya-maya ay kumalas na siya.

"So-sorry nayakap kita. Masaya lang ako," nahihiya niyang sabi.

"It's ok..."

"Don't worry... Hindi ako magiging pabigat sa'yo. Ako na ang bahala sa mga gawaing bahay. I will be kind," he said.

Medyo natawa ako ng kaunti. He looks so innocent and kind. I never met a person like this before.

"Vile!"

Lumingon kaming dalawa. Rex is calling Vile.

"Nandito ka lang pala. Lola Veron is looking for you. Babalik na raw siya sa province," Rex said.

"Hmmm... Sige na Zion. Masaya ako na makausap ka. Thank you again and please keep smiling," Vile said.

Umalis na si Vile at si Rex pabalik sa guild. Naiwan akong mag-isa dito sa beach. Gabi na pala.

Mag-isa na ulit ako dito sa beach kahit gabi na.

I'm happy to have a chat with Vile. Hindi ko inasahan na mabait naman pala siya.

Maybe, I am wrong to prejudice him.

After a few seconds, may naalala ako bigla.

"Why are you smiling at me like that? What did you see?"

"Well, I saw blurred events in your life. Ngayon lang nangyari ito. Siguro, hindi pa panahon para makita ko ang future mo or baka naman makapangyarihan ang sorcerer na nakatadhana sa'yo," sabi niya.

"Huh? What do you mean by that? Ano ba kasi ang nakita mo?"

"Hmmm... There is someone who is hugging your back at the beach. I can't see his or her face."

I raised my eyebrow...

"What do you mean by his or her?" I asked.

She sigh...

"Hindi ko kasi makita ng malinaw. But there is one thing that I'm sure. Malapit na siyang dumating sa buhay mo. I can feel that a person that I saw in my eyes will love you for the rest of his life."

Napatingin ako sa paligid at nasa beach nga pala ako.

What the! Vile hugged my back kanina! It can't be!

He's a guy! Siguro nagkataon lang ito at ibang tao naman ang tinutukoy ni Sandra.

I'm not gay... I also believe that Vile is straight like me.