Twisted Souls

44: Signal

What now?

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko noong suot na ang jogging pants at white shirt ni Javier. Tulala ako sa salamin at nagdadalawang isip kung papasok o hindi sa eskwelahan.

Should I skip this day? Javier told me yesterday to attend but excuse myself first for any training. In short ay bangko.

Gusto niya bang napapahiya ang sarili? What a very weird guy. Gusto niya pala ang napapahiya. Bangko? Ang dating captain ng football team ay isa ng mahina ngayon?

Hindi ba naiisip ni Javier that I could damage his image because of my actions?

Mas mabuti talaga na umabsent kesa ang magpakita sa kahit kaninong members ngayon.

Itinapon ko ang duffle bag at akmang hihiga na sa kama when the door opened.

"Javier, hijo. Pinapatawag ka ng ama mo sa baba at kakain na daw," aniya.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Kakain?

Did I heard that right?

That is something new. Simula noong dumating ako dito-o maging si Javier ay hindi tinatawag si Javiet para kumain ng sabay with Mr. Castell... well... unless ay may irereklamo na naman ang matanda?

Oh my gosh! I am calling Mr. Castell na ng matanda! This is not good!

"Okay, Manang... Baba na po ako," I told her.

Mabilis naman akong sumunod din pababa. Nagdadalawang isip kasi ako pumasok at iniisip kung dadalhin pa ang bag.

Pero sa huli, dinala ko rin. Just in case Mr. Castell notice it. Pakiramdam ko ay konektado ang sasabihin niya tungkol sa tournament practice na mangyayari ngayon.

When I reach the dining area, I saw Jameson and Mr. Castell eating peacefully. Ah. The atmosohere is vefy suffocating.

Now... I somehow get it why Javier is such an insolent child. Parang may bumabalot na masamang hangin sa hapag. Argh.

Since when did I hate Mr. Castell too? Ang alam ko ay si Jameson lang ang ayoko.

Mr. Castell looked up on me.

"What are you waiting for? Umupo ka na," utos nito sa'kin.

Kailangan ko ba talaga kumain ng sabay sakanila? I hate Jameson's presence! Nakakairita ang presensya niya!

Wala na akong maalala na maganda sa lalaki na ito kahit kaunti kung hindi ang suntok niya. God, bakit ba ako nabaliw sa lalaking ito? He is just a daddy's boy and I am so glad I didn't end up with him because of what happened!

Umupo na ako sa tapat ni Jameson at kumuha ng pagkain. The table was a feast, but I didn't feel eating.

"Kailan ang tournament niyo?"

"Next month," I immediately answered. Sinasabi ko na nga ba, tungkol doon ang tanong.

"I don't want you playing around, son. Attend your practice regularly. Sa oras na may hindi ako narinig na maganda mula sa coach mo ay puputulin ko ang credit card mo," banta nito.

Oh... wala naman akong pakialam sa credit card ni Javier.

"Go ahead. I don't feel practicing yet-"

Napahinto ako sa pagkain noong nagdabog ang ama ni Javier. I looked at Mr. Castell who is glaring on me.

"Alam mo ba kung bakit naatras ang mga tournament? It's because of you, Javier! Tapos ngayon ay sasabihin mo na lang sakin basta na you don't feel like it!? Ito na lang ang kaya mong gawin tapos sasabihin ko sakin 'yan!?" Sigaw nito.

My forehead knotted. Javier is genius! What is he saying? Kaya nga nitong makipagsabayan sa kurso ko kahit hindi ko natututukan ng turo! But Javier is good academically too!

"Kung hindi ka lang basta tanga-tangahan noong gabing iyon ay hindi mangyayari ito! I beg to the officers to push this tournament! Tapos iyan ang isasagot mo sakin? You should... stop Javier."

I laughed in annoyance. Hindi ko alam, but this is really funny! Hindi... hindi naman ginusto ni Javier na mangyari ito sa'min!

Yes, maybe tanga talaga siya at kasalanan niya-but it's not his fault to push the tournament!

"Is this your way of goodluck?" I asked him. Ayoko namang.. bastusin ang matanda.

If he wanted to tell his son to do well in practice-then he should. He doesn't need to be so rude!

Nanlaki ang butas ng ilong nito at inirapan ako.

"No. This is my way of saying don't you ever do something wrong... Javier. You will start to pay your own tuition and all if you didn't win this."

Wow, the pressure!

Tinignan ko si Jameson na tahimik lang kumakain. I guess, the perfect son doesn't need to be shouted in the morning, kasi nga-perfect, di ba?!

I don't know why-but this is annoying! Ganito ba talaga ang umaga ni Javier pag may tournament? I should ask him sometimes!

"About Faith... Stop bothering Mr. Diaz."

Napairap ako. Ito na naman!

"I am not bothering my girlfriend, dad." I answered him, bored.

Napailing si Mr. Castell habang padabog naman na ibinaba ni Jameson ang kutsara niya.

"Hanggang kailan ka ba magpapansin kay Faith, Javier? I told you, we like each other!"

I cannot help but to laugh in disbelief. We like each other?! Akala mo naman ay napakalalim ng namagitan sa'min!

"Brother, hindi ka pa ba nakaka-move on kay Celestial? Come on, she is my girl already! Bakit mo pinipilit ang ayaw sayo?" Takang tanong ko dito.

"Javier!" Sigaw ni Mr. Castell.

"Pa! Tell him to break up with Celestial! After all, hindi kayo magkakatuluyan noon kasi-"

"Jameson, that is enough! Ms. Diaz is a very nice girl at ayokong... lumayo ang loob niya sa pamilya natin!" He shouted on us.

My forehead knotted for what he said. Ayaw lumayo ang loob? At bakit naman ganon?

"Bakit?" I asked. Why does Mr. Castell wanted to please me?

"Javier, don't act stupid. You hate Celestial before tapos ngayon ay girlfriend mo na?" Natatawang umiling ang matandang lalaki sakin. "Stop acting irrational and don't break Faith's heart. Sabi ko sainyong dalawa ay alagaan niyo at iturin na kapatid. Hindi paglaruan o kung ano pa!"

Lalo akong naguluhan. I didn't know that Mr. Castell is fond at me this way! Akala ko naman ay ma-swerteng studyante lang talaga ako!

"Ikaw, Javier. Break up with her now. Don't make me repeat myself. Hiwalayan mo si Ms. Diaz-"

Tumayo na ako at dinampot ang bag.

"Whatever," I just answered and stormed out from the mansion.

Wala sana akong balak umalis, pero ayoko namang magsalita pa kung hahabulin ni Mr. Castell to attend the football training. Baka kung ano pa ang masabi ko sa matanda!

At isa pa, bakit ba nila kami pinipilit na mag-break? Ano naman kung masaktan ako ni Javier and such? Labas na dapat sila doon and bakit gusto ni Mr. Castell na i-please ako? Anak ba niya ako?

What a very weird family! Why please someone? Hindi ko alam na ganon pala ako ka-importante kay Mr. Castell!

Pagkalabas ko ay sinalubong agad ako ng driver. One thing that is so convenient about being rich is the privilege in transportation. Pero ang iba doon ay wala na.

Come to think of it, I wanted to be rich but after all—I didn't like it.

Or ayaw ko ang buhay na kinalalagyan ni Javier?

Papasok ba talaga ako to attend this damn football practice? I don't want my body ache! Masakit pa nga ang katawan ko dahil sa practice kahapon!

I really need my body back. Pero paano? Imposible na ang ngayon dahil nga pareho na kaming busy sa responsibilidad. We are students, at hindi lang kami pwede basta-basta umalis!

On the car, I noticed to text from Javier. Ah, speaking of the devil!

Him:

Oh. Baka tawagin ka ni Papa mamaya sa morning. Oo ka na lang, kahit nakakairita. Okay baby?

Napanguso ako sa text nito at pinansin lang ang dulo. Suddenly, the feeling of annoyance vanished. Galit sana ang text ko sa lalaki, pero binura ko iyon at pinalitan.

I replied:

Ganito ba talaga bago ka mag tournament? Ang suffocating naman.

Him:

Pinagalitan ka ba? Saan ka? Do you want to skip your practice.

I replied:

Syempre pero binantaan ako na tatanggalin ka sa scholar ng athlete.

I was not ready when his name show on my screen. Calling!

Kumabog ang dibdib ko sa biglaabg pagtawag. Pero sinagot ko rin.

"Oh?"

"Ayaw mo ako matanggal sa scholar? Yie?" Tanong nito, nang-aasar.

I chuckled on his tone. Syempre, ayoko. Parang gusto ko patunayan kay Mr. Castell that his son is talented enough and no need to treat that way.

"Kasi kailangan mo rin mag-practice para sa science fair ko. You will also do a research paper about it and pass to panelist. Ako naman ay physically bugbog. I think, we are just fair?" Natatawang tanong ko dito.

"Teka, ano?! Research paper?! Akala ko ba, gagawa lang ng kung ano-ano!?"

"Javier, in order to make something, you need to search! Ano ka, basta na lang sasabak? Tsk!"

"Oo, ganon!" This man is really... unbelievable.

"Nasa gate ako ng school. Are you coming already?" He asked me.

"Anong ginagawa mo diyan..?" Napanguso ako at tinignan ang labas. Mukhang malapit naman na nga kami. "Malapit na. Wala ka bang klase?" I asked him.

"Wala, di ba? Hinahanap ako ng iba sabi ano daw gagawin sa experiment nila! Baka sumabog lang ang laboratory!" Aniya, parang nanghihingi din ng saklolo.

I laughed. "Okay... wait for me there."

Kung makapag-usap kami ngayon ay akala mo pareho naming nalimot ang nangyari sa kwarto ko noong nakaraan.

I shook my head in disbelief as my face heated up. Ano ba 'yan, sa dami ng pwedeng maalala ay bakit iyon pa!?

I calm myself first at niyakap ang bag ng napakahigpit.

Doesn't he remember that our face is getting closer? Is he acting dumb, or just plain dumb?

Ah. Kung ano mang trip niya, as long as he is acting like nothing—then hindi na dapat big deal iyon sakin!

Pero hindi ba big deal sakanya?

"Sir Javier, nandito na po tayo."

Sa gate pa lang ay nakita ko na si Javier na kumakaway na parang bata. Sinimangutan ko siya.

Why is he acting like that? Does the president of student council act like that?

"Hey!" He grinned on me. Mukhang maganda ang gising nito.

One thing that I adore about Javier while getting to know him is... he is just a happy kid. Akala mo ay walang inaalala lagi.

We are about to face a storm. How can he smile like this?

"How can you smile like that? Wala kang problema?"

His smile vanish. "Panira ka talaga. Hindi ba pwedeng I am trying to be positive?"

"What is so positive about this, Javier?" We started to walk.

Nagulat ako noong inabot nito ang kamay ko. Because of horror, I dramatically pull it away from him.

I looked at him in disbelief.

"What?" Natatawang tanong nito. "Masamang humawak sa kamay mo?"

Is he playing with me? Acting cool and all? Tingin niya ba ay mahuhulog ako sa ganyan-ganyan niya? Walang malisya?

"Why are you holding my hands?"

Hindi ito sumagot, sa halip ay hinila ang kamay ko ulit!

"This is my hand, Celestial. Baka nakakalimutan mo. This is my body—and you are my boyfriend. Nakatingin ang mga tao sa'tin! We should walk, holding each other's hand!"

Wow. What a very reasonable argument.

Hindi na ako nagsalita at hinila siya papalapit sakin.

"Now tell me, how can we do our usual stuff while in each other's body? Any plans?"

"Saan ka pupunta ngayon?" Tanong niya. "Are you going to practice? Baka masigawan ka ng tanga—"

"Then help me nga! Fast learner naman ako!"

His face wrinkled. "Fast learner ka lang sa acads. But sports? Your helpless..."

Akmang itataas ko palang ang palad pero ibinaba ko ulit. Argh. Nasa public pala kami. I don't like to make it seem na I am hurting her! Pangit din sa image iyon!

"So ano? Hahayaan mo lang na ma-kick out ka sa athlete?"

"You can do that... Para hindi ka na mahirapan," he answered me.

Napahinto ako sa sagot niyang 'yon. He what? Wanted to stop just for me?

"I can apply in different scholarship program in school. Pero iyong sa athlete? I think that is impossible for now. Babalik na lang ako pag-ayos na lahat."

My forehead knotted. "Pero hindi mo pwedeng iwanan ang science fair ko, Javier. Kung ikaw ay pwede pa pumasok sa Academic Scholarship—ako wala na. So quiting will never be my choice!"

"Calm down..." humigpit ang hawak nito sa kamay ko. "I didn't say anything about quiting. Pwede mo naman akong turuan. Iyon ang gusto kong sabihin," aniya.

My heart stop for what he said. Tama ba itong naririnig ko. Is he willing to do it without any exchange?

Ang init sa pakiramdam. God... why am I feeling so nervous?

I am still skeptical. Sa tingin ko ay may gustong hilingin ang lalaking ito kaya hinila ko siya paupo sa isang bench.

"Do you want something from me?" I asked him.

Because his offer was... impossible!

He pouted and nod his head. "Yes. You can teach me. As you can see, I am a brilliant boy..." Pabiro pang sabi niya.

Simula noong magkakilala kami ni Javier, he didn't do anything at all aside from football. It was his pride. Pag football ay natural na Javier ang kadikit nito lalo na sa University namin!

"But why?" I asked him.

Natawa naman ito sa tanong ko. "What why? Ayaw mo ba?"

I shook my head. "Why are you doing this first?"

Siguro, if he said this earlier, and we are still in the same situation—mabilis akong papayag na parang walang konsensya.

But how can I do this to him without feeling any guilt?

"This is for you... Ayoko lang na nahihirapan ka. Nakita kita kahapon, you are having a hard time so I guess it's not appropriate to tell a girl na ipilit kasi kailangan..." then he showed a genuine smile in my face.

What he said strike my heart. Parang inalog ang dibdib ko at hindi mapakali.

It's because of me!

"When did you know to act like a gentleman? Hindi ako sanay!" I randomly uttered to push the uncomfortable feeling inside me. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Stop smiling like that!"

"Oh bakit?" Nagtatakang tanong niya. "Maganda ka kaya ngumiti."

Lalo akong nakaramdam ng awkwardness. God, why am I getting affected? Playboy siya! Playboy!

Isa pa, naalala ko ang sinabi niya noon na hindi maganda ang ngiti ko! Sinong niloloko niya ngayon?

"So? Let's go to the laboratory and teach me—"

"Teka!" Hinila ko ulit siya paupo. "Wala pa akong sinasabi, di ba? Yan nga ang gusto mo, pero pumayag ba ako?"

Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Huh?"

"I don't want to drop in your practice...

Kumunot ang noo nito. "Celestial..."

"No! No one is quitting, okay? I let you do my thing at nahihirapan ka. I will do your thing, and mahihirapan ako. We will share the same tragedy, so no need to leave kasi, quits lang!"

Kumunot ang noo niya. "This is not about give and take, Celestial. Hindi mo nga kaya..."

"But I am in your body. How can you tell that? Maybe your mind isn't familiar—but your body?"

He sighed in annoyance. "Pinapatigil ka na nga para hindi mahirapan—"

"At bakit hindi mo ako gusto mahirapan?" Takang tanong ko dito.

Namagitan ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa. Habang tumatagal ay mas lalo akong kinakabahan. Kaya tumayo na ako at iwinasiwas ang pakiramdam.

Ayoko ding magpatalo kay Mr. Castell at Jameson. I know this is Javier's problem—but I wanted to show his family that Javier can excel academically, which I already did, and also in sports!

"Celestial..."

We fight by staring. Walang gustong magpatalo sa'ming dalawa.

Pero sa huli, Javier sighed again and stand up.

"Fine. Do what you want. But do tell me kung hindi mo na kaya..."

I smiled. "Yes!"

"Tsk... you're unbelievable... Ayaw na nga kitang nahihirapan—"

"Mahihirapan ka din naman—"

"Is this a competition, honey? Kung sino ang mahihirapan, ganon?" May bahid na ng inis ang tono nito kaya napatigil ako sa pagngiti.

Oh, ano na namang problema niya?

"I just... want you to take a rest and worry over nothing, baby... Mahirap bang intindihin iyon?"

"B-Bakit nga?" I laughed.

"I just hate seeing you crying because of pain... Umiyak ka sa practice, nakita ko... and I am so sorry for putting you in this situation, Celestial. Dropping the football is the least thing I can do to comfort you." His eyes were really sorry. At habang sinasabi niya iyon ay hinihimas niya ang kamay ko ng marahan!

Nakita niya ang pag-iyak ko sa locker?! But that is not important!

My heart shaken. Malapit na talagang lumubog sa tiyan ko ang puso dahil sa mga sinasabi niya!

"You c-care?" Walang kwentang tanong ko.

He chuckled. Nagulat ako noong ibinaba niya ang ulo at pinagdikit ang ilong namin!

"Silly. Of course. Mukhang masarap ka alagaan kahit laging mainitin ang ulo." He flashed a sweet smile, then Javier brushed our nose playfully!

Anong ginagawa niya ngayon? Is he trying to play with my heart!?