Kiss Me, Engineer ✅ [COMPLETED]

CHAPTER 19

"Anak! Nag-alala kami sa iyo! Nawala ka bigla noon sa bahay!" 

Bungad ni mama pagtawag ko sa kaniya. Halos ngayon lang ulit ako nakatawag dahil sa mga problemang dumating sa nagdaang mga buwan. 

"Ayos lang ako ma," Iyon ang sinabi ko pero bumagsak naman nang sunod sunod ang mga luha ko. "Ma, b-buntis ako."

Natahimik ang kabilang linya at tanging pag-iyak ko lang ang naririnig. I don't mind if they will be mad at me, it's my fault anyway. I just want them to know everything that happens.

"Si Sylvan ba ang ama?" Maya-maya ay tanong ni mama. I nodded even she don't see me. 

Pinunasan ko ang luha sa pisngi ko bago sumagot. "O-opo."

"A-anak, may asawang tao siya, hindi ba? N-nababasa ko sa diyaryo," she said and I heard his sobs. The reason I don't want them to know this because I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be a problem. Nangyari ang lahat ng ito dahil sa pag-alis ko noon. 

"Lumayo na ako ma." Pilit kong pinapatatag ang boses ko dahil baka hindi ko kayanin ay mapahagulgol nalang ako. I don't want to stress myself dahil malapit na akong manganak. It's already 8 months since I left him and my baby is 8 months as well. Dito na kami nanatili sa Cagayan at binibigay naman ni Bryson ang lahat ng kailanganin naming mag-ina. 

"Sino ang kasama mo ngayon? Mag-isa ka lang?" I heard my papa's voice. Alam kong galit si papa dahil sa tono ng boses niya pero nagawa niya paring mag-alala. 

"Si Bryson po. Nagboluntaryo po siya na maging ama ng bata kaya pumayag po ako. Mabait naman po siya, pa." 

They calm down. We just talk a little bit before mama ended the call. I sigh and sat on the sofa. Nang makita na mag-aalas dose na ng tanghali ay tumayo na ako at nagtungo sa kusina upang magluto ng ulam. Baka pagod si Bryson sa pagtatrabaho kaya kailangan paghandaan. 

For the past months, I learned how to cook. Noong una ay medyo palpak pa pero hanggang sa maperpekto ko na ang lahat. Bryson always there to guide me and to teach me. He never leave my side noong naglilihi ako. 

"Sav? I'm home!" Rinig kong anunsyo ni Bryson kaya sumilip ako sa salas at nginitian siya. Agad naman siyang lumapit sa akin at pinanood ang ginagawa ko.

"Ano sa tingin mo ang gender ng bata?" Tanong niya at niyakap ako mula sa likod habang hinahaplos ang tiyan ko. 

Hindi kami nagpa-ultra sound para surprise kapag labas ng bata. Nagpapacheck-up naman kami minsan kapag nananakit ang likuran ko pero normal lang naman daw iyon. 

"Babae. Gumaganda ako eh." We both chuckled on what I said. I want my baby to be a girl. Para kahit magkita man kami muli ng kaniyang ama ay hindi agad maghihinala si Sylvan na kaniya ang bata. Ayaw kong kunin niya sa akin ang anak ko kapag nagkataon kaya hangga't maari, si Bryson ang tatayo bilang ama niya. 

"Kailangan ko na magtrabaho ng mabuti. Malapit ka na manganak." Bulong nito. Ilang buwan na din siyang kayod-kalabaw dahil sa pangangailangan namin at sa mga pinapabili ko kaya kahit malaki ang sahod niya ay unti palang ang naiipon namin. Hindi pa sapat para sa panganganak ko. 

Nakabili naman na kami ng mga gamit pangbata dahil parehas kaming excited. Puro kulay puti dahil baka magkasalisi ng kasarian ng bata.

Pinatay ko na ang kalan at inihanda na ito sa mesa. We both eat while talking and laughing on our own stories. Maybe he's a god given from the above. Without him, I will never do this far. He's such a blessing.

"Bryson! Manganganak na yata ako!" 

Halos mabali ang likod ko dahil sa sakit na pumapalibot sa tiyan ko. My water just broke and the pain is making me crazy. I don't know what to do.

"f**k!" I heard Bryson curse before he carry me and call a taxi. Halos tadyakan na niya ang driver dahil sa paulit-ulit na sigaw ko. Halos mamanhid ang buong katawan ko dahil sa pagtitiis na hindi makatulog.

Nang maipasok ako sa hospital ay sigaw siya ng sigaw kahit may nurse na nagaasikaso sa akin. My grip on his hand is tightening. Halos mabilis ang pangyayari dahil nasa loob na ako ng delivery room habang hawak ko ng mahigpit ang kamay ni Bryson. 

I don't know why it felt like this. Why it's much painful than I thought? 

Hindi ko alam kung naka-ilang sigaw ako bago ko marinig ang iyak ng mga sanggol.

"Quadruplets. You have four babies..." The doctor said before I passed out.

NAGMULAT ang mata ko at puro puti ang nadatnan ko. Agad na nilibot ko ang mata at nadatnan si Bryson na nakaupo at nakapikit sa sofa. 

Kahit mahapdi anglalamunan ay sinubukan kong magsalita. "Bryson..."

His eyes open and he immediately came towards me. He caressed my hand and gently smile.

"Akalain mo iyon? Nakaya mo iyong apat na sanggol." Tumawa siya at hinalikan ang noo ko. "You're amazing. I'm so proud of you."

"Where are they?" Paos ang boses na pagsasalita ko. 

"The nurse is cleaning them. Three girls, one boy." He smiled.

Maya-maya pa ay pumasok ang apat na nurse habang karga-karga ang mga sanggol. Ang isa ay may tulak-tulak pa na crib. They smile and show us the baby.

"Ang galing po magswimming ng sperm niyo sir." The nurse chuckled. 

I don't know how to react so I just smile. Magaling nga ang sperm, expert sa swimming. Inalalayan ako ni Bryson na maupo habang ibinigay naman sa akin ng nurse ang isang natutulog na sanggol. It's a girl.

"Ano pong ipapangalan niyo ma'am?" Usisa ng nurse kaya nginitian ko siya.

"The father will name them." My eyes darted on Bryson that was shock on what I say. 

"Bryanna." He smile at the kid I was holding. Sunod naman ay kinarga niya ang isa pang sanggol na babae. "Savon," He said then gave the baby to the nurse. "Synna." Ibinaba niya iyon sa crib at kinarga ang lalaking sanggol.

Natigilan ako maski siya. Ang mga mata nito na nakadilat at inosenteng nakatingin ay kaparehang-kapareha ng mata ni Sylvan. Ang hugis ng labi at kulay nito ay parehas din ng kay Sylvan.

"Sylvan. Let's name him that way." He whispered that made me look at him. I really can't believe what are the words came throughout his mouth. "Sperm niya naman ito."

Kahit gusto kong tumawa ay hindi ko magawa. I can see the pain on his eyes. I can see how much he wanted to be the father of my children. Inilagay niya sa crib ang bata at inutos na ilagay nalang din ang iba. The nurse leave the room and we both stays quiet until he broke it.

"Paano kung malaman niya? Bata palang, kamukhang kamukha na niya paano pa kaya kung lumaki na."

Maski ako ay may pangamba sa posibleng mangyari. What if he accidentally saw my babies and claim them as his own? I don't want that to happen.

"Hinding hindi ko ibibigay sa kanya ang mga anak ko. Anak natin." Binigyang diin ko angbawat salitang iyon. 

Sylvan chooses Sydney. Even he don't say it, I know he will choose her. She is his first love. He can't even break their marriage because Sydney is sick. Maybe it's the fate of us. We will just met. 

"We will be a good parents to them, Bry. We don't need him." Nilingon ko siya pero nakatingin lang siya sa kawalan at tila ba'y malalim ang iniisip. 

"You can't lie to me, Sav. I know you want him until now. Love is just one word but it has great impact." 

Naubusan ako ng salita na mailabas. I Didn't know what to say or how to react. Hindi ko maamin sa sarili ko ang nararamdaman ko. Did I really lie to myself and to him? 

"Bryson, It's not lik-"

"Yes. It is. You don't need to sugarcoat it. I'm okay. It's fine." He smile but all I can see is the pain written on his eyes. I hurt him. I hurt the only person that helping me now. 

"Bry..." I breathed and gently held his hand. 

"Maybe we are just not meant to each other. But I willstay and be the father of your child and when the time came that he own his children, I'll sacrifice," He wipe his tears and caressed my hair. "Just remember that, A man named Bryson loves you." 

He's important to me. He's the person I treasure. But it doesn't mean I can love him the way he love me. I love him as a friend. He love me as a woman. Cliché but the only thing I could give is friendship. 

"You're amazing, Bry. You will find a woman that will love you more than you love her." I tried to lit up the atmosphere because it's choking me. 

"Ayos lang. Sana'y akong hindi pinipili." He chuckle bitterly. 

I'm too selfish to give him false hope. I'm too selfish to let him stay with me. His love is so pure and overflowing. I don't deserve it. He deserve better. 

He suffered a lot and god knows how much I want to love him and forget Sylvan but I just can't do it. Sylvan marked my heart. Sylvan leave a scar on it and only him can fix it. 

I'll admit it. Bryson is right. I want him until now but I just don't want to admit it because it's hurting me. It's always been painful to me when I'm thinking about him and Sydney. 

Falling inlove is like falling into cliff. When you fell, you will not able to save yourself because you're trembling. Trembling in fear. You will just be save when someone lift you up and comfort you.

Falling inlove is painful. It's too painful that your only choice is to give up and let go but your heart says otherwise. Pain makes a person stronger and maybe after the painful things that happened, you and that someone you love will be strong. Strong enough to handle your relationship. 

"I'll stay until you push me away, Sav." Muling bulong ni Bryson at hinalikan ang noo ko. 

It's hard when someone is ready to be there for you but you still dreaming of other person to say it to you. Bryson is here but I want Sylvan to say that to me. 

The silence fill the room not until we heard a baby cry. It's Bryanna. Bryson carry her and sing a lullaby. I just watching him and the baby. I saw how the baby stopped crying and how her eyes slowly close. 

He gently lay the baby back on the crib and how he smile. I'm lucky to have him and I'm lucky enough that he stay beside me after admiting that I still love Sylvan. 

If being selfish is a crime,

I would gladly commit it.