Savoring Pleasure

CHAPTER THREE

PRIDE POSSIBLY PROMPTED HIS IRATE RESPONSE. The advent of Saturday morning made me woeful. Who wouldn’t get worried if Thero hasn’t managed to send me just a simple message to notify me if he’s doing good.

I began to experience anxiety with the thought about him tripping another woman. It must be me. Only me. Giving Thero pleasure is what I can give. To play with my body is his expertise, wherefore I let him feed my body with his playful and lascivious tongue.

I don’t want to think the idea that came into my mind but realizing that it already happened for so many times the same reason—his consummate rage—created an unexplained sense of huff and dysphoria. The same old story and to remain consistent, I persuaded my mind that Thero is just busy.

“He can find some time to have just a talk with you… just a little time,” I thought to negate myself amidst my deep inducement of mind.

Just a friend. 

I composed myself by breathing audibly in and out while my eyes were close. No matter how I try to hold on any further developments I made not only to see him if my feelings keep bothering me. I already miss him. I am longing every inch of him. I should go visit him. That’s the only thing I know can help me fill the gap of his absence in my heart.

Past ten in the morning when I left the apartment to buy the ingredients for the meat stew which is Thero’s favorite. But before I get to supermarket, I initially went to the bank to withdraw money. Visiting him with his favorite dish is what I think will make Thero joyous. He possibly misses. I believe he’s just waiting for me to placate him which he can’t do by himself due to haughtiness.

I returned to the apartment at quarter to twelve and prepared immediately the ingredients to be used in the dish. Moreover, I already share my one-week stock food in order not to go back and forth to supermarket in case of I needed to cook.

After so many minutes, a couple of knocks suddenly creeped and disturbed me while placing the dish in the Tupperware.

My eyebrows met in between, realizing that I wouldn’t be expecting someone to come over here. However, keeping in mind that it is Thero who visits me eventually creates a feeling of excitement inside me.

“Perhaps,” I mumbled, painting a smile on my lips while loosening up my shirt to look myself friendlier. “Thero can’t actually withstand me,” I added and walked towards the doorways.

Flattering and edging a smile, I veered the knob and opened the door widely. But what I hope to fulfill has failed and ruined, looking at the man, wearing a green polo shirt which seemed to be his uniform. To simply say, it’s not Thero who arrived.

“Miss Mella Cruz?” he asked, plastering an approaching smile on his lips.

“Yes,” I replied and had a quick glance at the plastic parcel that has a signature green color of the courier service company this man is working at.

“Miss Mella, you have a package from Miss Chazey Fuente. Just sign here for confirmation to receive,” he politely spoke and drew near me the clip folding board, having a black point pen on top of it. Afterwards, he handed me the parcel which I took it at once.

I took up the pen and signed. I beamed as I caught a glance at this man.

He thanked me and put the clip folding board inside his bag. He bid and walked away.

Past one in the afternoon when I set out the apartment, getting dressed up well. From Epifany los Santos Avenue to Guavapule Nuevo, the traffic congestion made by the clusters of vehicles doesn’t surprise me. What’s new? When the passengers began to feel agitated on board, the driver pulled out the bus and considered some techniques to catch up with and passed through other land transportation.

Hot and humid. The stink of the broadways hit me badly and the place appeared to be stagnant because of few pieces of garbage that are scattered around.

As soon as I reached the façade of Rondan Condominium, I got unloaded and roamed my eyes around. Actually, this is not the first time I went here—maybe, thrice?

I gripped the leaf of the paper bag while walking under the scorching sun. Bringing an umbrella is not my ideal belonging or thing. Not only it is heavy, but also big to fit inside my blue sling bag that is suspended from my right shoulder.

I am wearing a mustard dress which Chazey has sent me this morning and a pair of lace ups shoes. I wasn’t able to wash it since it smells good.

I was initially hesitant if I could take to wander it outside although I am not skilled wearing it. Before I left the apartment, I paced back and forth just to get used to it in a short period of time.

“Good afternoon, Ma’am. How can I help you?” a petite woman at the information desk asked. She had a peek at me after typing something on the keyboard when I went across her. “Reservation?” she added and beamed a little.

“No. I just want to ask if Thero Moonvelt is in his condo unit,” I inquired and smiled back at her.

“Uhm… yes. He just came fifteen minutes ago,” she answered then put her hands on the countertop. “Do you want me to call him, Ma’am?” she asked then moved slightly the visitor’s sheet.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll just go there. Besides, I’m his girlfriend,” I responded and took up the pen to sign in my name to the logbook. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Ma’am.”

I turned around and treaded through the pathway. I decided to use an elevator without any choice. In particular, I don’t know where the staircase is located.

I pressed the ‘up’ button and waited for a few seconds before the metallic-silver doors split up. No onset of people burst upon my sight as I freely stepped forward and load onto it. Then, I pressed the ‘7’ button as the floor number of Thero.

When hearing the elevator sound, my heart pounded so fast that I can’t even know why. I went out the elevator as it opened.

I can’t impart but there is a feeling of uneasiness. I began to walk, turning left, and heading the passageway until I reached subconsciously the forefront of Thero’s condo unit.

I took a deep breath and plastered a sanguine smile on my lips. Despite of the inundation of discomfort through my sensation, I would love to see Thero today. How overwhelming the idea of scrutinizing his face after longing for him. I would be fond of embracing, kissing, and touching every inch of him. Within the week that we didn’t actually talk, he’s the man I’ve been thinking and will definitely look after him these years to come.

I slightly pushed the bell once and caught a glimpse of the paper bag where I put the Tupperware into.

If only I know Thero’s passcode, I would take this opportunity to surprise him. But unfortunately, he never tells me even his cell phone password or any. I am aware about him being secretive. Having the urge to question him just sinks forthwith. I just act like I don’t care at all. Besides, I can’t do anything just to persuade him. It’s his nature—to conceal any secrets he has.

I pressed again the bell and after a few seconds, someone behind opened the door barely sufficient in someone to enter.

With my eyes widened and the corners of my lips raised up, Thero burst upon my sight who appeared to be stounded.

“What the hell are you doing here, Mella?” he asked in a low tone but guttural sound.

“I just miss you, Thero, and I wou—”

“Who’s that, son?” a woman orotundly voiced out inside.

Thero had a peek inside his unit and answered casually, “Nothing, Mom. Just a friend.”

Bewilderment is what I feel at first. I furrowed my brows and blinked back tears. I had a trouble making eye contact with him resulting me bowing my head instead to prevent my tears from pouring out. My lips quivered as what he said hurts me big time. I really tried my best to hold back my tears but they protested. I couldn’t find any words to reply on Thero’s answer to his mother as he called her.

Absolute realization knocked me down. Evidently, Thero hasn’t really told his family about our relationship. Contrastingly, I almost boasted that the one and only Thero Moonvelt is my boyfriend.

“Leave, Mella!” he emphasized and snarled.

I tilted my head upward and met his gaze. “I’m your g—girlfriend,” I spoke, stuttering. “I’m still your girlfriend, Thero,” I repeated to remind him. He may forget it.

“s**t. Okay, leave,” he grumbled, raising his right arm while extending his index finger to point at nowhere else.

Without intention, I released of my hold to the leaf of the paper bag due to lethargy. “Thero, w—what are y—you s—saying? I don’t want to leave you. Let’s talk. I lo—”

He frowned in recklessness and snapped at me, “What the f**k, Mella! Don’t emote for f*****g sake. I didn’t tell you to go here, did I? Just leave!”

My heart seems to be wrecked pieced by piece. I bit my bottom lip and ran my hands through my hair in anguish. It really hurts.

It is required to feel pain when you love? There’s nothing wrong with considering hurtful words from my partner. I’m desperate. I love him. And this is what love can cause.

I’m still weeping in tears when I turned my back.

Compelling him not to scold me can’t even help. Apart from this, it is my fault. If only I didn’t go here, it wouldn’t happen. I will apologize to him in some time for I have sinned again. I truly want to be with him. Whereas, turning out to be this more  complicated that I could’ve never imagined.