Savoring Pleasure

CHAPTER FIVE

GABI NG MIYERKULES. Kararating ko lamang sa apartment galing trabaho. Walang bago sa mga dumaang araw. I and Thero haven’t talked yet and seen each other. Hinayaan ko lang siya dahil naniniwala akong babalik din siya sa oras na kailangan niya ako.

I suddenly touched my chest as I felt ache in my heart. Babalik siya kapag kailangan niya ako.

I let the water pour out through every inch of my body. Kasabay niyon ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko at pagpikit ng aking mga mata. I’ve been here for too long—thirty minutes and more. Ninanamnam ko ang lamig ng tubig upang maibsan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Whatever I do to dissipate the pain—or just at least lessen—if I am longing for Thero’s presence, there’s no improvement.

I became consistent in terms of sending Thero a message every morning, greeting and showing how much I love him. Kahit wala akong matanggap ni isang reply mula sa kaniya ay ayos lang. At least nararamdaman ko pa rin ang pagmamahal niya sa akin sa paraang pag-aalala sa mga oras na magkasama kami.

I opened my eyes as I seemed to hear something inside the apartment. Pinihit ko pakaliwa ang switch ng shower para matigil ito sa pagbuhos ng tubig.

Dahil dalawang metrong parisukat lang ang banyo ay isang hakbang ko pa lang ay nakalapit na agad ako sa pintuan. I eavesdropped against the space of the door only to discover that there’s someone inside with the use of hard, fast-moving footsteps that obviously came from a pair of shoes.

Napalunok pa ako at kinabahan kung sino ang nasa loob. Nasapo ko ang sariling noo nang maalalang hindi ko naisara ang pinto kanina.

I paid attention to where the sound of footsteps is heading. I wander my eyes around the bathroom to look for a thing that I can use for defense, by chance, that it might be a r****t or robber. Dahil walang masyadong gamit dito—maliban na lang sa mga necessities ko—ay hinablot ko na ang takip ng inidoro nang matanggal noong Lunes dahil na rin sa katagalan nito. I got myself ready to attack whoever that person behind the bathroom door.

Nang magbukas ang pinto ay akma ko na sana iyong ipapalo nang sumalubong sa akin si Thero na ngiting-ngiti, subalit nagbago ang kaniyang reaksyon nang makita ako.

“What are you doing?” he roared, widened eyes. “What the f**k! What are you holding, Mella?” he added then scrutinized my body from head to toe.

Nang mapagtantong siya nga ang nasa harap ko ay ibinaba ko ang hawak ko at napahinga nang maluwag.

My face flushed red as I saw him lick his own lips, looking below directly to Gumamela.

“I’m sorry. Akala ko pinasok na ako ng magnanakaw,” I mumbled and fought myself to hug him. Hindi na ako na-conscious sa pagtingin niya sa katawan ko. What’s new? It’s still my body now and then.

“No, it won’t happen,” he responded and met my gaze.

Huminga ako nang malalim at kinagat ang ibabang labi. “Thero, I miss you. I really am sorry for what I’ve done to you. Hindi na mauulit,” I apologized and looked down, having lump in my throat.

He held against my chin and motioned it to rise up. “No worries. It doesn’t matter. I’ve been busy for the past few weeks,” he phrased to confess why he’s not been active in our relationship.

I curved out a smile and held his hand touching my chin. “It’s okay. Basta mahal natin ang isa’t isa, walang magbabago roon,” I commented before hugging him tightly.

Ibnalik niya ang yakap sa akin at naramdaman ko ang paghalik niya sa aking buhok.

Biglang nag-init ang katawan ko nang maramdaman ang pagkuskos ni Thero gamit ni Moby kay Gumamela. Ang isiping angkinin niya ako ngayon ay nagdomina sa akin.

“Thero,” I whispered and made a space between us after I released my hug to him.

“Yes, Mella?” he growled, putting his right hand on my left breast and cupped it. He slid down his hand, as well as sight until he reached Gumamela. He rubbed it softly that made me breath so heavily.

Napapikit ako at pinakiramdam ang kaniyang kamay na paunti-unting bumabaon kay Gumamela.

“Thero,” I murmured, opened eyes, and stepped backward as he pushed me slowly near the bowl.

He parted my thighs, without losing his hand inside Gumamela, where my left foot stayed on the floor while the other one was laid at the side of the bowl.

He looked at me and grinned, in unison to thrusting violently his hand deep inside Gumamela that made me grimace in pain. Pagkatapos ay tinanggal niya ang kamay at bilisang naupo. He outstretched Gumamela by the use of his both hands and licked it. He circulated his tongue inside and accidentally contacted to my weakness—my c******s.

Napahawak ako sa buhok niya at idiniin pa ang kaniyang ulo.

“Thero, please… f**k me,” I whined due to the force of his tongue, trying to sip my juice.

Napasulyap ako sa kaniya na pinagpapatuloy ang pagdila kay Gumamela na siyang nagbigay ng mas kakaibang sensasyon. Once I watched him tasting and licking my core, it drove me lustfully crazy.

 He looked back at me and the corners of his lips rose. He swiftly stood up and kissed me aggressively. I gave him an equal sensation as I initially thrust my tongue inside his mouth.

Lumakbay ang kaniyang mga kamay sa aking likod at hinaplos-haplos iyon hanggang sa mapunta ang mga ito sa aking puwet. Pinisil niya iyon at pinalo nang mahina.

We stopped kissing and looked at each other sensually. Sunod niyang itinuon ang tingin sa baba at hinawakan pa ang bukol na nasa gitna ng kaniyang katawan. He unbuttoned his long sleeve and threw it away.

Ang pagka-miss ko sa kaniya ay napunan nang makita ang katawan niya. He looks devilishly sexy while he next unzipped his trouser.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at dahan-dahang umupo nang salubungin niya ang mga mata ko. I let go of his hand and touched the bulge to caress it leisurely.

“Oh, baby… yeah,” he muttered. “Do what you want,” dugtong niya habang nakapikit at tumingin paitaas.

I lowered down his pants and his white boxer short welcomed me. My head went closer to the bulge and licked it once. Pagkuwa’y ibinaba ko rin ito at sumalubong sa akin ang tayong-tayong si Moby na dikit na dikit sa aking pisngi. Agad ko itong sinunggaban ng subo at nabulunan pa ako dahil sa laki.

After a couple of minutes of giving Thero a pleasure with Moby, he motioned me to bend over that I actually obeyed at once.

“Thero, let’s go to bed. It’s congested here. You can’t move well,” I suggested while my hands were resting on the side of the bowl.

“No. I can enter Gumamela with or without any disturbance like this f*****g cold, wet floor,” he answered briefly before rubbing Gumamela using Moby’s glans.

Bahagya akong nakiliti at napapikit. Ilang segundo pa’y inumpisahan niya na itong ipasok at sinabayan namin ang indayog at ritmo ng isa’t isa.

THURSDAY MORNING WITH A BRIGHT SUN OUTSIDE. It was 6 o’clock when I woke up just to cook sinigang for Thero. Alam ko kasing hindi niya nakain ang niluto ko noon para sa kaniya kaya heto ako ngayon, abalang-abala sa paghahanda.

Alas-sais ‘y trenta nang matapos ako’t naglakad palapit sa kama. Thero is still sleeping, laid face down and naked. He didn’t even manage to wear his clothes last night and went to bed while carrying me like a bride.

A couple of minutes have passed by when his head moved a bit.

I sat down on the bed and slowly laid down. Pinanood ko siyang ilinga ang ulo paharap sa akin. I smiled seeing how his tender blackish eyes opened that always allured me. Kahit hindi ko pa nakikita ang mga magulang niya ay nakuwento niyang nakuha niya ang kaniyang mga mata sa ina na Filipina, samantalang ang katawan at ibang features ng mukha ay sa amang British.

“Good morning!” I happily greeted and kissed him on the forehead.

He drew out a smile and adjusted himself facing the ceiling. “Good morning. I smell something,” pansin niya at lumingon sa dakong kaliwa ng kuwarto.

“Your favorite, I guess?” I cheered, seemed to act like I don’t know what he’s talking about.

“Mella, you didn’t fail to amuse me,” he complimented and removed the blanket covering his naked body.

Muli, nakita ko ang p*********i niya. It is not aroused, but the glans is still pinkish and the shaft is good to touch and massage.

Naupo siya at pagkatapos ay palinga-lingang tumayo.

“Your clothes are inside the bathroom. Hindi mo lang nilagay sa tuyong lugar,” I informed him that he may have forgotten what happened last night.

“What the f**k! Basa ba?” he inquired, his eyebrows met in between. He took a glance of me and began to walk like a model—model of his hugeness.

“No. I hang it on the clothesline last night before I fell asleep,” I replied and stood up also. Nang tangayin si Thero ng antok kagabi ay tumayo ako upang magbihis. Nilalamig kasi ako lalo pa’t natuyuan ako ng tubig sa katawan. Kaya sinabay ko na ang underwear niyang isampay.

“Thank God! Inamoy mo ba ang underwear ko? How was it?” he joked playfully while grinning.

I chuckled and shook my head in disbelief. Kahit kailan talaga’y ang corny niya mag-joke. “Siyempre, hindi, ‘no. Why did I need to smell your underwear if I could taste every inch of Moby?” I returned, making me feel cloud nine.

Dahil sa nangyari sa amin ay alam kong titibay pa ang relasyon namin. Abala lang talaga siya sa trabaho kung kaya’t hindi siya nakakapagparamdam sa akin. At least we had our bonding last night and this morning.

“Yeah, exactly,” he gave up and walked towards the bathroom.

I came closer to the table and sat down on the monoblock chair. Nakahanda na ang lahat sa mesa at kakain na lang.

After a few moments, Thero went out the bathroom, already dressed up while raking his hair.

“Let’s eat,” pag-aya ko na agad niyang tinugunan ng isang matamis na ngiti.

He walked towards the table and sat across me. “Baka masanay na ako nito, Mella,” natatawang sabi niya at nagsimula nang magsandok ng kanin.

“You should. Besides, I believe that you’ll be my husband sooner or later,” I replied and beamed a bit.

His face shifted to seriousness and looked me straightly in the eyes. “Seryoso ko na ba sa akin? I mean… do you see yourself with me?” he asked after putting back the scope to the pot.

“Of course. Ikaw ‘yong mahal ko. Why doubt?” I plastered a smile and held his left hand on top of the table.

He didn’t respond—just a soft breath he released.

SATURDAY MORNING, I got up early to take my leave from the apartment. I’ve decided last night to go to Benguet to visit my parents in the cemetery after a long time.

Naging maayos naman kami ni Thero. Hindi man kami nag-usap kahapon ay nag-re-reply naman siya sa mga texts ko. He told me that their sales dropped to 20-percent. Dahil sa nangyari ay napauwi ang mga magulang niya rito sa Pilipinas para ayusin nang maratnan ko ang mga ito sa condo ni Thero.

Thero was even scolded by his dad that he, the President, didn’t know how to manage well the company. Sobrang dismaya ang mga magulang niya sa kaniya. It wasn’t even his fault. Even his vices came into the situation. Tanging ang mommy niya lang ang nakausap niya nang maayos.

Nasa terminal na ako ng bus nang tumawag sa akin si Chazey na inaaya akong gumala. I refused and informed her that I would be visiting my parents’ grave. She supposed to come with me when unexpected thing happened. Tinawagan siya ng isang gadget accessory shop to advertise the product. Dahil sayang naman ay tinanggap niya.

I arrived by two in the afternoon. Nagpunta ako sa Salano Cemetery sa Itogon, Benguet lulan ng pampasehong dyip.

Nang makarating ay agad kong hinanap ang puntod ng mga magulang ko. Masyadong madamo sa bahaging dinaanan ko at tila napabayaan na. Nahirapan ako sa paghahanap dahil hindi ko na maalala kung saan eksakto sila nakalibing.

“Ineng, kaninong puntod ang hinahanap mo?” tanong sa akin ng isang matandang babae nang mapansin sigurong kanina pa ako paikot-ikot.

“Dante at Dalia Cruz po,” magalang kong tugon.

“Kailan pa sila nakalibing?” sunod na tanong niya.

“Limang taon na po ang nakararaan. Ngayon lang po ako bibisita kaya po hindi ako pamilyar kung saan sila nakahimlay,” sagot ko at inikot ang paningin sa lugar na pilit inaalala kung saan nga ba.

“Tingnan mo na lang sa mga malalaking damuhan at baka natabunan na. Hindi na kasi ito masyadong nalilingap ng mga nandito. Tuwing undas lang talaga naiisipang linisan ang mga puntod,” sagot niya na ikinatango ko.

Ganoon na lang ang pagkalumo ko nang bigo kong mahanap ang puntod ng mga magulang ko.

To enjoy my stay here, at least, I went to Ambalanga River. An ordinary river but many memories were created. Naglakad-lakad ako at tumigil lang sa may malaking bato. I breathed some fresh air, simultaneous to reminiscing the scenario of me and Laryz, my childhood friend… and former suitor.

Kumusta na kaya ‘yon?

“Mella?” a baritone caught my attention at the back.

I slowly turned around only to see whose the voice. My eyes widened in surprise, seeing Laryz who I just remembered a couple of seconds ago, burst upon my sight.

“Mella?” he repeated, sounded unbelievable having our reencounter now.

The moments of us were still fresh on my mind.

Kaklase ko siya noong elementary hanggang high school. Nangunguna ako sa rank list habang siya naman ay nasa top 3, pero walang kompetisyong namamagitan sa amin.

“Laryz…” I smiled widely and waited him to come closer to me. “Kumusta ka na?” pangangamusta ko.

I don’t deny that Laryz has something physical to be proud of. He’s handsome now and then having reddish lips, natural coffee eyes, and black think eyebrows. Hindi rin aakalain na isa siyang purong Pilipino dahil sa tangos ng ilong niya. The only thing I noticed was his body. He was skinny, but viewing him right now… puberty really had hit him. His body is well-built.

When he finally set foot a mere meter closer to me, he scrutinized my face and replied, “Heto, ayos lang. Ikaw? Ang tagal na nang huli kitang makita, ah.”

“Ayos lang din,” tugon ko at ngumiti. “Are you working?” I inquired and signaled him to walk with me.

We walked in unison while his hands were kept inside his both pockets. “Ah… English. Sige, pagbigyan,” aniya at bahagyang natawa. Napagaya na rin ako sa kaniya dahil sa hindi niya pagbabago. Joker pa rin.

“I’ve been working as a branch manager at StarLife Insurance in Cebu for straight three years. And here I am, kahapon lang nakauwi at sa susunod na linggo rin ang alis,” he replied while his sight is directed through our way.

We headed the pine tree where became our sanctuary of happiness and melancholy. Kapag pinapagalitan kami ng mga magulang namin noon, dito kami nagpupunta at nagsusumbong sa isa’t isa.

“Buhay pa pala ‘to,” I commented amusedly, referring to the pine tree. “Asenso ka na pala,” I joked. “Ikaw, three years. Ako, after my parents died five years ago. I’ve never visited them for the past years at nang magdesisyon akong bisitahin sila ngayon, I failed to find them,” I stated and took a glance of him who’s looking at me.

“Sorry,” he uttered and put on a halt.

“Sorry, what? You haven’t done wrong,” I returned and fixed my hair that covered my eyes.

“Sorry because I wasn’t here by your side at your downfall. Ah… nabalitaan ko na lang namatay sina tita’t tito nang minsang tumawag sa akin si mama isang linggo matapos ngang ilibing ang mga magulang mo.”

I heard him sigh deeply.

“Forget it. The important is the present,” I spoke, trying to divert the topic to other things. Baka kasi maging emotional ako at mahalungkat pa ang katangahan ko nang piliin kong mag-aral sa Maynila.

He nodded. “Nakaka-miss din, ‘no? Especially those days na nagtatakbuhan tayo, naliligo at nag-iiyakan.”

I grinned, remembering all of those. “In short, ako ang na-miss mo,” biro ko pa ulit.

The closeness is still here. I am so comfortable with Laryz despite the years we’ve not been together. Sa kaniya lang ako ganito. Even I am with Chazey, siya ang mas jolly sa amin kaya hindi ako masyadong makasingit sa biruan. And with Thero, oftentimes serious, once laughing at jokes.

“P’wede rin,” sagot niya at tumawa.

 Tumawa ako nang mahina at tinitigan siya. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Why? Do you have a plan to apply?” he teased, still drawing out a smile in his face.

“Pilyo ka talaga. No, seriously. Do you have one?”

His expression shifted to seriousness as his lips curved down, emphasizing what his love story went though—sorrow, I guess.

He cleared his throat and looked afar the boundary of the river. “Ah… I had a one-year girlfriend and we just broke up a year ago. Hindi ko alam do’n. She wanted my whole time that I couldn’t even give. May trabaho ako,” he responded and tried to plaster a smile, but he failed.

“You were the one who broke up with her? Or reverse scenario had happened?” I asked and sought for other history about him.

“She was,” he simply answered.

My forehead arched in between and my eyes almost widened in disbelief. “Stupid. Bakit siya? You should have broken up with her first. Ang dating niyan, ikaw ang nasaktan nang sobra,” I fired out in disgust.

He shook his head slowly and looked down. “Sa katunayan ay nag-girlfriend lang talaga ako para makalimot pero mahirap. A woman I’ve loved before is still her. Always,” aniya sa mababang boses.

Isang mahabang katahimikan ang namagitan sa aming dalawa. What he told me seemed to have a meaning.

A woman. Wala siyang ibang babaeng nakuwento maliban sa akin. I was his first love, as his courtesy. Pero matagal na ‘yon, high school pa kami kaya imposibleng ako ang tinutukoy niya. It might be someone he met in UC where he studied in college.

“Ikaw, may boyfriend ka na?” he asked to break the deafening silence.

Thero. 

Thinking Thero made me smile.

I smiled and replied, “Yes.”

Tumango-tango siya at bumulong na sapat lang upang marinig ko  ‘yon. “Akala ko, ikaw ang para sa akin. Hindi pala… nahuli siguro ako ng dating na dapat ako… at hindi siya.”