The Wayward Daughter

Chapter 20

CLIP LET her feelings sit idly, making her feel the biggest idiot that walked the planet. She wasn’t insulted by what Monique said. It’s so typical of Monique her immediate reaction when she left Romano was to roll her eyes.

Of course, Monique truly cared. In her own twisted ways, Clip knows she cared for her. It’s just that… Clip associates it with weakness. Hindi siya kumportableng magpakita ng kahinaan sa harap ng ibang tao lalo na ngayon na pakiramdam niya ay nasa rock bottom siya.

Only to find that there’s another rock underneath and it goes on, and on, and on.

She’s tired of asking for help from these people. Monique, Joaquin, Alex, Romano.

Her parents? Nah, they’re fine and busy with their own lives. She misses them, especially her Mommy. Her father, she couldn’t care less.

Every time she asks for her friends’ help, they always come through. It was always her asking for help. At nakakahiya na. Hindi na siya natutuwa na palagi na lang siya ang mukhang kaawa-awa ang buhay. Sawang-sawa na siya.

Nang makarating siya sa bahay ay nagsindi na naman siya ng maria. It’s true that she’s using. And it’s also true that she’s abusing it. And she might have exhausted her savings on buying it. Not smart on her part, but she madly wanted to be free of herself, from the constant nightmare that is her life.

She was lying on her folding bed when her phone rang. Nang suriin iyon ay si Sinatra Blue ang tumatawag. Katulad ng palagi niyang ginagawa ay hinahayaan niyang magsawa ito sa katatawag hanggang sa tumigil ito sa pangungulit.

But this time, he was continuously bugging her that it felt like the noise grew louder and louder. Nang pakiramdam niya ay na-compromise na ang panandaliang kapayapaan na ginawa niya para sa sarili ay padabog siyang tumayo at hinaklit ang cellphone. Nalaglag pa iyon na agad niya namang nasalo. Gigil niyang sinagot ang tawag at sininghalan ang kabilang linya. “What do you want?”

“Luna! I’ve been calling you everyday for weeks!” He was relieved to hear her voice. “Or has it been three months already?”

“I’m not keeping tabs. And everyday? Ang OA mo naman.” Humalukipkip siya. Nakaramdam siya ng gutom. Narinig niyang kumalam ang sikmura niya.

“Can I come over? I want to see you,” anito.

Nasa kusina/salon siya at sinuri ang paligid kung may pagkain. “Ha?” Wala ang pansin niya rito. Napahawak na siya sa tiyan niya nang maramdaman ang sobrang gutom.

“Should I bring food? I probably should, ako ang dadalaw. Or do you want to eat outside?” tanong pa nito.

Rinig niya ang salit-saling boses mula sa kabilang linya. “Nasaan ka, bakit ang ingay riyan?”

“Day job ko. Palabas na. Okay lang sa iyo na magkita tayo sa mall?”

Wala siyang pangkain sa susunod na araw kapag namasahe siya ngayon.

“Are you okay, Luna? Hindi ako sanay na hindi nakakatanggap ng texts mula sa iyo. Hindi ka na rin tumatawag. Ayoko namang basta ka na lang dalawin diyan. That would be improper and rude not giving notice. Besides, you never really answer, kaya hindi ako makadalaw. Baka kapag nagpunta ako ay wala ka rin diyan sa bahay mo.”

“Dala mo ang motor mo?”

“Yes.”

“Sunduin mo ‘ko tapos mag-mall tayo.”

“Okay.”

“Dala mo iyong isa mong helmet?”

“Always.”

“Okay. See you.”

CLIP WAS delighted to see Sinatra. She missed the old man. He mentioned a day job which she wasn’t aware of but she decided she won’t bring it to the conversation because he might ask a lot of things about her, too.

Nasa isang restaurant na sila sa loob ng mall at namimili ng o-order-in.

The man looked like he started lifting weights. “Have you been to the gym lately, Sinatra?”

Sinatra smiled mischievously. “You’re not the first one to notice. Yes, I've been going to the gym lately. I’m happy with the results.”

Tumango siya. “Pwede ka nang sugar daddy.”

Sinatra Blue laughed like she told the most clever joke. “You’ll be surprised when I tell you about this girl who badly wanted to have—uhm, I don’t want to be inappropriate by telling you this, but the thought crossed my mind. At hindi ako nagbubuhat ng bangko.”

“Okay, she wanted to have s*x with you, and then what,” pagtuloy niya sa naunsyaming kwento ni Sinatra. It’s s*x talk, it’s not that inappropriate. She may be a s****l person but she’s not that desperate. They’re both adults and they’re not doing anything. Sinatra is laser focused on their age gap and won’t tolerate any bad behavior between them, in case someone gets handsy, or flirty, as if the old man is a cash cow for hungry sugar babies.

Not that it would matter to her, if he has a lot of money. It’s Sinatra Blue, he’s her idol. They say never meet your heroes, and it’s true. Alam na niya ang pagkatao ng isang Joaquin Mendiola. He has his own baggages, she has her own, and she won’t be caught dead riding in his motor with their baggages.

Sometimes she likes to imagine what it’s like to be with Sinatra Blue. Note that she didn’t say Joaquin Mendiola because that guy is miserable. She liked him as Sinatra Blue. A singer in his mid to late thirties, rocking his biceps—okay, yikes, she can’t even do this correctly. It’s not just built in her mind to see him as a man, as a person to be with romantically.

Sinatra continued, “In exchange for my time on stage, she gets to do me senseless. I wouldn’t say no to that if I were a bit richer than where I am right now and if she’s older. But she’s not both, and I won’t compromise those two deal breakers for me.”

She rolled her eyes at the mention of ‘senseless’. As if he’s so hot and whatever. Like he’s the real deal. “My man, get off your high horse,” ang sabi ni Clip dito.

Natawa si Sinatra. “What? I’m a poor guy, and I’ve been offered a lot of obscene things, and I always say ‘no’ because as I said, I’m poor. It won’t pay my bills.”

“And who is this girl?” She’s curious where he could find women like that. He mentioned it’s not the first time someone got hot and desperate for them to make that kind of deal in exchange for his time on stage.

“From my day job.”

She arched her brow. “You say that like I automatically know what your day job is.”

“You don’t know?” maang nitong tanong.

“We don’t talk about that at all.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Huh.”

Ito naman ang tumitig sa kanya. “You’ve changed a lot from the last time I saw you. You lost a lot of weight.”

“Rude.”

“But your hair is longer now.”

“Yeah…”

“Are you okay, Dominique?”

The way her name rolls in his tongue. “I’m hungry, is what I feel right now,” ang sagot niya.

“Right, right.” Muli itong tumingin sa menu. “What are you having?”

Itinuro niya ang gustong kainin. “I’m famished.”

He looked at her intently then gazed back at the menu. He called the waiter’s attention to order their food.