Nefarious

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Monster

“Nananaginip ba ako?”

Konstantine tensed for a moment. His shoulders became taut, his jaw clamping down. The pressure on his chest became evident.

“No, you’re not dreaming. Not yet, at least.” His voiced dipped low.

“Then why is that?” I pointed at the odd reflection.

I was supposed to be sitting on his lap like I was doing so at the moment. My hands were supposed to be around his neck, trying to fill in the little gaps between his dark, luscious locks. The lean torso supporting my whole weight should be present too as it played a big part on how I was able to sit comfortably. Yet all those things I mentioned weren’t existing.

In the reflection, I was alone as I sat sleepily. And I was... floating.

“Liar,” I yawned.

The low rumble of his throat sounded closely like thunder, reverberating on the ceiling and making my tummy fuzzy. I put my head back on the crook of his neck. The soft material of his coat felt like feathers on my cheek. His medallion sat on his chest, the gleam of gold heavily contrasting the crimson glint of ruby on its center.

“I am not a man therefore I am not a liar.”

“Does that make me a liar?”

There was a pause. A single breath held.

“I hope not.”

“You don’t like liars much, do you? And mankind? Why is it that hate ‘us’ so much?”

“You’re already a part of the unfortunate beings. But even if you lie to me a thousand times more, I still wouldn’t have the heart to hate you.”

Pilit kong sinisilip ang mukha niyang ayaw bitiwan ng mga anino. Hirap kong hinanap ang kaniyang mga mata habang nakadukdok sa kaniyang dibdib. Kailangan pang lakbayin ang mga butones ng kaniyang itim na kamiseta, ang mga kwelyo at paakyat sa leeg. Tinalunton ng aking mga mata ang kaniyang mga pisngi at matangos na ilong pero hindi nakaabot sa gusto kong abutin.

“What’s the sound of my heart?” I asked instead.

I tried to feel it on my own but to no avail. So, I tried to listen to his but no sound came.

“Like a broken machine.” His voice went low, a little too fast,a little too angry.

“Ganiyan din ang sinabi sa akin ng mga doktor. Hindi ka naman pala nagsisinungaling,” biro ko.

Hindi nagsalita si Konstantine. Humigpit lang ang kaniyang yakap sa akin.

I was thinking of the many things this man was. How he didn’t like basking under the rays of the sun. Or the sun itself. He liked fine wines, and there were times that I wasn’t sure if those were really red wines. This man dines with me every night yet finishes without touching his food. He caught, butchered, and buried a deer in a day. Even giving it the blessing it deserved in afterlife. On top of it all, this man lived in a castle that sat on the edge of a cliff.

“I’m going to ask you a question again but please… lie to me if necessary.” I closed my eyes, grasping the lapels of his coat. “What are you?”

Konstantine remained silent.

Mas lalo ko lang sinarado ang mga mata. Sana kanina noong tinanong ko siya kung totoo nga bang isang masamang panaginip lang ang lahat ay oo ang kaniyang sinagot. Paniwalain niya akong gigising ako sa umagang babalik sa normal ang lahat. Pero ilang beses bang kailangang ipaalala sa akin ni Konstantine na hindi siya isang sinungaling?

“I know for a fact that you’re sick on the first time we met. The sound it makes at night when you’re sleeping, when you’re sad or when you get too excited makes me want to rip my head off for hearing it even from a long distance. They say I turned this town evil but you’re the one that’s been haunting me.”

Nanatili akong nakapikit, pilit pinakikinggan ang sirang mga t***k ng aking puso.

“Let me help you, Celeste.” He shook his head.

Uminit ang sulok ng aking mga mata.

“The humans don’t deserve you and neither do I. Losing my wife had already killed me yet it would kill me again to bring you down to our level. I am willing to die twice so you can live,” he whispered.

“You’re scared.” I opened my eyes. “You’re scared to lose someone again because it’s not their death that hurts. It’s the endless misery you need to face.”

Kahit parang pinipilas ang puso ko nang inangat ang sarili mula sa kaniya ay ginawa ko pa rin. Humigpit ang kaniyang hawak, nagmamakaawa ang mga mata. Nang umiling ako ay tuluyan na niya akong binitiwan.

“Hindi mo pwedeng ikulong ang isang taong hindi mo kayang mawala.” Tumayo ako sa kaniyang harapan.

Konstantine sat up. His bloodshot eyes leveled with mine. I could say that he was getting angrier by the second but the knots forming on his forehead, his jaw clenching weren’t anger. It was desperation. And the way he’s showing it now told me this was the first time in a long while that he felt it. Again.

Fallen and broken again by my hands.

“Celeste, you’re dying! Your heart is not working! You’re getting weaker every night. Yet you chose to continue helping those people that did nothing but drive you away like you’re some sick animal. You’re giving too much and receiving nothing in return. Let me give it to you---”

“Tuwing tinitingnan mo ba ako ay naaalala mo ang asawa mo? Naaalala mo ba siya sa akin? Si Alondra?”

He looked up in frustration. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he took a sharp breath.

“Kapag magkasama ba tayo ay niloloko mo ang sarili mong hindi pa siya patay? Kaya mo ako gustong tulungan?”

“Stop it. Don’t talk about my wife---”

“Your wife died a long time ago, Konstantine. And we both know that you died along with her. The hardest part is that no matter what you do, you just can’t follow to where she has gone.”

“I said enough! You don’t know a thing about her or anything at all about me. How I handle her death has nothing to do with you. Don’t speak of her name as if you witnessed how she was killed!”

“You need to die, Konstantine. And I’m saying it out of pity,” I whispered.

Sinalubong ko ang kaniyang tingin na kahit nanlilisik ay punong-puno ng ilang daang taong pagkakakulong sa sakit at lungkot. Hawak ang nananakit na dibdib ay nagsimula na akong maglakad palayo.

I stopped on my tracks one last time and asked, ”What are you?”

His face was molded with rage, guilt, and sorrow. His sharp eyes were turning red, his fangs showing. Konstantine stood up in his full height. The castle roared as the lightning struck like it too felt the awakening of the dormant emotions of its master.

“I’m a monster,” he growled before disappearing in the shadows.

Malalim ang gabing naglalakbay ako sa kagubatan pabalik sa bahay. Hindi ako napigilan nina Alejandro at Therese. Kahit nananakit ang dibdib ay minabuti kong ipagpatuloy ang paglalakad hanggang sa nakita ang matataaas na talahiban kung nasaan ang aking maliit na bahay.

“s**t!” Napatalon ako nang hawakan ang switch ng ilaw.

Patay-sindi ang bumbilya bago tuluyang pumutok. Napag-alaman kong naputulan o pinutulan ako ng kuryente dahil pati ang lumang electric fan ay ayaw sumindi. Nag-aagaw ang dilim at aking mga luha sa loob ng bahay habang nag-eempake ng mga damit. Bukas na bukas din ay luluwas ako. May maliit na tyansang bumalik ako ng bahay-ampunan kung wala na talaga akong mapupuntahan.

Konstantine was no ordinary man like how I always thought of him. Maybe I had long noticed before and been denying myself the truth of his nature. He always seemed to blend well in the shadows like he was the ruler of the night. The long, sharp fingernails like claws. Eyes as dark as the universe. The pale, cold skin. And the heart that never beats. He was all of it. I noticed everything yet I was still bombarded by the truth.

Konstantine Crinamorte was the thousand-year-old monster lurking within the dark forest of Legada de la Reina.

Maraming na akong naranasan at natuklasan sa bayang ito pero walang tumalo sa katotohanang iyon. Siguro nga ay maling nagpunta ako rito. Dapat ay nakinig na lang ako sa unang beses nilang pagpapaalis sa akin para hindi ngayong kailangan kong umalis ay ako ang nahihirapan.

Kinabukasan ay maaga ang gising ko. Bitbit ko ang mga gamit. Nilingon ko ang bahay na kahit sa maikling panahong nakasama ay pag-uulilaan. Natanaw ko ang palumpon ng mga rosas sa aking bakuran. Tuyot. Patay.

Tuluyan na akong naglakad palayo.

Malamig ang simoy ng hangin habang nakatayo ako sa waiting shed kung saan ako unang bumaba noon. Walang pinagbago sa halos dalawang buwan kong pamamalagi rito. Lumang mga shops at bahay, maalikabok na daan at kamakailang pagdaan ng mga traktora. Tanaw na tanaw sa himpapawid ang natutulog na higanteng bundok.

Sa hindi kalayuan ay nagkumpulan ang mga tao. Naging maalikabok ang hangin dahil sa karipas ng takbo ng mga pumunta roon. Maraming sumisigaw ng tulong na bumubulahaw sa umaga.

“Benny! Si Benny! Anong nangyayari sa’yo?!” sigaw ng isang ale.

Nang marinig ito ay iniwan ko ang mga gamit sa waiting shed sabay karipas ng takbo papunta sa pulutong. Hindi ako nagkamali ng dinig dahil si Benny nga ang nakahandusay sa sahig at naliligo sa sarili niyang suka.

“Tulong! Tulungan ninyo kami!”

Hindi alam ng mga tao ang gagawin kay Benny na tumitirik na ngayon ang mga mata. Kaagad akong lumuhod sa lupa. Itinagilid ko ang kaniyang ulo upang huwag malunod sa sariling suka at laway. Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa kaniyang mga balikat para huwag manginig.

Panay pa rin ang suka ng bata. Kahit anong utos ko sa mga tao na isugod ito sa ospital ay walang nakikinig. Umatras lamang ang mga ito nang dumating si Mayor Benjamin.

“Benny! Gumising ka, anak ko! Anong nangyayari?!” Tumalon ito mula sa sasakyan at dali-daling lumuhod sa anak.

“Dalhin ninyo na ang bata sa ospital! Hindi kakayanin ni Benny!” sigaw ko rito.

“Anak! Anak ko! Benny, bakit?!”

Kahit anong yugyog ni Mayor Ben sa anak ay walang nangyayari. Nagsisimula na itong kumbolsyunin. Panay ang duro sa akin ng mga taong nakapalibot. Biglang binitiwan ni Mayor Ben ang anak at pinanlisikan ako ng mga mata.

“Ikaw! Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit nagkakaganito ang anak ko! Mangkukulam ka! Hulihin ang babaeng ito! Hulihin ninyo siya!”

Napatingin ako sa mga taong galit na galit ang tingin sa akin.

“Demonyo ka! Papatayin mo ang anak ko!” iyak ni Mayor Ben.