Pretend To Forget

"Sigurado ka ba rito?" Malalamig ang mga kamay na tanong ko kay Sharlene. Ninenerbiyos talaga ako sa pinaplano naming gawin sa gabing ito. "Oo naman! Makinig ka, Kate, ito na lang ang nag-iisang pagkakataon mo. Pagkatapos nito, wala na. Ikakasal na si Kuya next month!" "Pero hindi tama ito!" Tumalikod ako at akmang aalis na. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi kaya ng konsensya ko. What I am about to do was against morals. This was against my own beliefs. Yet here I was, I even considered it! "Kate!" Inis na pigil sa akin ni Sharlene. "I planned this night to perfection. You cannot back out now!" "But Johann will hate me forever if I do this!" Sigurado iyon. Sinong may nais mapikot? Worse, by the woman he hated? Dahil iyon ang plano namin. Papasukin ko sa silid niya si Johann and pretend something happened between us when he wakes up tomorrow. At syempre, si Sharlene na best friend ko, na kapatid ni Johann, ang magiging witness ng lahat. "Fine. Pero 'wag kang ngangawa sa akin kapag tuluyan na siyang maikasal kay Natalie. By then, I can no longer help you." Si Sharlene naman ang akmang magwo-walk out. Nagpanic naman ako. Kasi tama siya, kapag pinalampas ko ang gabing ito, wala na ulit ibang pagkakataon. Tonight, Johann was drunk asleep. Sinigurado ni Sharlene na hindi magigising ang kuya niya at malaya naming maisasagawa ang plano namin. On the other hand, kapag hindi ko ito ginawa, I will lose Johann to that woman. "Teka lang," mahinang pigil ko. "We don't have all night for this, Kate. Magdesisyon ka na!" Pamimressure pa nang magaling kong kaibigan. "Paano kung magising siya?" "He won't mind. You are wearing Natalie's perfume! Iisipin niya lang na ikaw ang girlfriend niya at matutulog siya ulit." Okay. Mukha namang kaya kong gawin ito. Sana ay walang maging aberya. Para sa pagmamahal ko kay Johann Maguire, kakalimutan ko muna ang dikta ng konsensya. Naglakad ako pabalik sa harapan ng pintuan ng silid ni Johann at huminga nang malalim. Pero napaubo ako nang walang pasabing muli akong spray-han ni Sharlene ng pabango. "Are you ready?" Nagawa pa niyang itanong na malaki ang ngiti sa mga labi. "I guess am," ninenerb'yos kong sabi bago lakas loob na pinihit ang doorknob. It was dark inside Johann's room pero sapat ang liwanag mula sa 'di nakasarang kurtina ng bintana para makita ko kung nasaan ang pakay ko. "Go. I wish you luck, future sister-in-law!" Itinulak ako papasok ni Sharlene sa silid saka agad kinabig pasara ang pinto. Napalunok ako at nangangatog na ang mga tuhod. Gayunpaman ay inipon ko ang lakas ng loob ko at lumapit sa king size bed sa bandang gitna ng silid kung saan natutulog ang topless na si Johann. Muli akong napalunok. I can barely see him pero kita ko ang matipuno niyang pang-itaas. At iyon pa lang, nanunuyo na ang lalamunan ko. Can I really do this? I heaved another sigh as I walked carefully towards the sleeping man I've been in love with since I first saw him many years ago. However, he never saw me the same way. But tonight, by hook or by crook, he would be mine. I started peeling my clothes off. Kung gusto kong maging convincing ang plano ko, I need to be found naked beside him tomorrow morning. I shuddered at the thought as Johann's angry face flashed in my mind. He will not forgive me for sure. Pero tatanggipin ko iyon basta hindi matuloy ang kasal niya kay Natalie. Maingat akong sumampa sa kama niya pagkatapos. Pulling the quilt to hide my naked body under it, I thought I could do it without disturbing Johann's sleep. I was wrong… Hindi ko in-expect ang mga sumunod na pangyayari. Johann stirred, tapos humarap siya sa akin at niyakap ako. "Natalie," he hoarsely called out his girlfriend's name as he began kissing me. I was not able to prepare myself for that. But with desperation and overwhelming emotions, I let myself lose my dignity as a woman that night. My heart broke at how he repeatedly called me Natalie. But I convinced myself that this was what I wanted. Not exactly how I planned it to be. But I wanted this. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Tita Lucinda's voice woke me up from my sleep. Pero hindi ako agad nagmulat ng mga mata. Isa pa, ano ang kailangan sa akin ni Tita? "Ma," narinig kong protesta nang mistulang kagigising lang na si Johann. "What's the fuss about? It's still so early." Wait! Narinig ko si Johann? Realization hit me next. I hurriedly opened my eyes and found myself exposed and still on Johann's bed! Ang biglang paggalaw ko at paghila sa kumot ang tuluyang nagpagising sa diwa ni Johann. Rumehistro ang matinding pagka-sorpresa sa gwapo niyang mukha habang hundi makapaniwalang nakatingin sa akin. I could almost see question marks above his head. "How dare you do this to Kate?!" Tita Lucinda was fuming mad as she pointed a finger on Johann. Disappointment was visible in her eyes. "Where is your decency, Johann?" "How could you do this to my best friend, Kuya?!" Puno naman ng hinanakit na ani Sharlene. For a moment, I was confused. The shock in her eyes was genuine. Hindi ba at kasama ko siyang nagplano nito? Naging mahusay ba siyang artista all of a sudden? But then it hit me, we didn't plan it to be real! "What the f*ck?" Mahina pero puno nang galit na bigkas ni Johann habang hindi inaalis ang tingin sa akin. I remained speechless as I felt tears warm my eyes. Johann's mad at me! "I'm giving the two of you five minutes to make yourself decent!" sabi pa ni Tita bago nagmartsa palabas ng silid. "You have to take responsibility, Kuya!" gatong ni Sharlene bago lumabas din ng silid. Hindi ako makatingin kay Johann. But I could feel the anger in his eyes burning my skin. He didn't say a word but he stood up and went to the bathroom inside his room. I let my tears fall the moment I heard the door close. Why? Why didn't he say anything? Was he that mad that I did not deserve any word from him? Nagmamadali akong pinulot ang mga damit ko, nagbihis at tumakbo papunta sa sarili kong silid. Now that what transpired exceeded the plan, will I be able to get the man for myself?