My Destiny

Freedom!!! Yan ang unang salita na pumasok sa isip ko ng malaman ko ang masamang balita na namatay ang Mama ko sa isang car accident kasama ang latest boyfriend nya. Don't get me wrong, mahal ko sya at nirerespeto. Sya ang nagpalaki sakin at utang ko sa kanya kung nasan man ako ngayon. Hindi ko pwedeng makasama ang daddy ko dahil anak nya lamang ako sa labas, isa syang kilalang senador at negosyante. Kung magkita man kami ay palihim lang at di madalas upang umiwas sa eskandalo, ayaw ko ring ako ang maging dahilan para pag usapan at sabihan ng masasamang salita ang asawa ni dad dahil napaka buti nya sakin sa kabila ng naging kasalan ng mama ko dito. Mas madalas kong makasama ang kuya ko na tanggap ako at mahal na mahal namin ang isat isa kahit pa haft sister nya lang ako. He’s always there for me since he knew my existence. Mas madalas ko pa ng syang makasama kesa sa daddy namin. He always have time for me. Im glad to have him as my older brother. Andito ako ngayon sa seminteryo dahil kakatapos lamang ng libing ni mama. Wala masyadong tao dahil wala naman kaming kamag anak dito sa America. Tanging ang PA ko lang ang maituturing kong kaibigan na kasama ko dito at ang kuya ko. After I received my mom’s urn dumeretso na agad kami dito. Simula ng magkaisip ako ay sa US na kami nakatira, ngunit ng simulang pasukin ko ang larangan ng pagmomodelo na syang gusto ng mama ko para sakin ay palipat lipat na kami sa London at Paris. "Babe, we need to go, you need to rest dahil simula ng mamatay ang mama mo ay wala ka ng tulog. Baka magkasakit ka na nyan". Saad ni Kenzo. "Im fine, you should go home too, baka hinahanap ka nadin ng girlfriend mo at nakaka istorbo na ko sayo". "Okey, im taking you home first before I visit her. Dad and Mom called and said that whatever you need just tell them, you know we are family. Are you going back to London now or gonna stay here for good?" "I don't know, I just finished my contract. Maybe just stay here for a while and relax. I can't remember when was the last time I had a vacation. Im planning to have one soon.” "You do need that. You're so hard on yourself. I think this is the right time for you to explore and live your life the way you want it. Be happy and enjoy your own life babe." Hindi na sya umimik ng akayin ni kenzo papunta sa sasakyan nito. Pagkatapos syang ihatid ay agad din itong umalis na. Now im all alone here in our house, not a home coz I had none. My mom is so strict that she raise me to be independent but do all the things she wants. Being a model is her dream for me. Shes was a model too during her younger days. Thats when she met my dad. I'm glad she still allow me to study a Business Management course that I like. I struggled a lot during my first year doing some auditions I’m not comfortable with. I started modeling at a young age. She wants me to be famous and have everything as that is what she like for herself but didn't have a chance since she fell in love with my dad and always told me, I should obey her coz she sacrifice her life just to have me. And i don’t have a choice. Minsan naiisip ko kung tama ba na naging sunod sunuran ako sa mama ko. Maraming bagay ang di ko nagawa. I must do whatever she said, be a good girl or i can’t see my dad. Some would say that shes very lucky to be where she is right now. But she feels the opposite. Kaya niyang ipagpalit ang kasikatan para lang magkaroon ng masayang pamilya. Yung hindi nya naranasan simula ng magka isip sya. Will I ever experience that? To love someone and be love in return. Yung may makakasama ka na panghabang buhay at di ka lolokohin. Maybe that's the reason I’ve never been with someone. Dahil takot ako na maiwan at masaktan. I did dating but for charity purposes. Not the romantic type date. Bumuga sya ng marahas na hininga ng makapasok sa kwarto nya, saka naupo sa gilid ng malapad na kama at napatingin sa mga larawang nakalagay sa tukador. Halos lahat ay solo pics ko lang, merong picture namin ni Mama, ni kuya at picture namin ni Dad pero walang family photo. I almost have everything that money can buy, pero hindi sapat para maging masaya. She can't sleep, kanina pa sya nakahiga pero kahit anong pikit ng mata ang gawin nya ay gising na gising ang diwa nya. Her body feels so tired but not her mind. Bumangon nalang sya at nagpalit lang ng damit saka muling lumabas ng apartment nya. She will walk outside to get fresh air and hopefully feel sleepy. Naglalakad sya sa gilid ng kalsada ng mapansing may tumabi sa kanya. "Miss!" Nagdadalawang isip man ay nilingon nya ito. "What?" mataray niyang tugon. "I think this belongs to you" sabay pakita nito ng cellphone. Hindi nya alam kung ilang sigundo ang lumipas na nagkatitigan sila ng gwapong binata na may asul na mga mata. Familiar sa kanya ang mukha nito pero di nya matandaan kung san nya ito nakita. “I saw this fell from your back pocket. You should be mindful with your things next time.” "Thank you." Agad kong sagot dito at mabilis na kinuha ang cellphone at umalis na. "Take care!" Pahabol nitong saad. Dere deretso na akong naglakad at di na tumingin pa sa lalaki. Nakakahiya at parang ngayon lang sya nakakita ng gwapo dahil natigilan sya ng makita ang mukha nito kanina. She’s not in the mood to have a long conversation with a stranger.