Single Lady Series

Chapter 15

Wednesday morning. Two days na mula noong hindi ako kinausap ni Jai at Khris. Jess and I were fine. Yung mag pinsan lang talaga ang may galit sakin.

Most of the time, the three of them are always together. I tried to talk to them but they never answer me even if I ask them about some random things.

Sa ilang araw na hindi ako kinakausap ng magpinsan ay si Ivan ang naging kasama ko. He’s always around me after the pageant.

Yes. I am always with Ivan. I talked to him about what happened to me and my friend and he said that he understand them. Naglihim ako tungkol sa kanya at hindi nila yon nagustuhan.

Nandito ako ngayon sa room. Katabi ko lang sila pero di nila ako pinapansin. I wanted to join whatever they talking about but, the last time I tried…bigla silang tumigil sa pag-uusap.

I talked to Jess yesterday, I ask her what their problem is. She just said that I should wait until Pyok talk to me and tell me what the real problem is. Sinabi niya din na nagtampo siya sakin pero naiintindihan niya naman daw ako. It is really hard to tell them. Hindi ko masabi dahil nahihiya ako sa sarili ko. Imagine the days I told them how much I dislike Ivan then later on malalaman nila na nag-uusap kami nito? Sobrang katangahan yon!

Mayamaya pa ay napansin ko na papalapit sa akin si Ivan.  As usual, everyone in the room got our attention. Two days na noong makita kami ng iba na laging magkasama. At first akala ko may mananakit na sakin, but luckily wala pa naman. Maybe they are scared to Ivan but still, nakakarinig pa rin ako ng masasakit na salita, less nga lang ng p*******t.

Nang makalapit na sa akin si Ivan ay agad naman akong napatingin sa mga kaibigan ko. Nakita ko kung paano bumaling sa ibang direksyon ang ulo ni Pyok at ang pag-irap ni Jai.

Don’t mind them. Sabi ni Ivan.

I feel so down right now. Parang wala akong energy dahil sa nangyayari.

How can I not mind them kung ako naman yung rason bakit silang lahat galit sa akin.

Boss don’t over think. It’s not good for you. Hayaan mo sila kung ayaw ka nilang kaibiganin…you know that I am always here for you. Ani pa ni Ivan

I really like this man. He’s always there to make me happy and uplift my mood.

Ngumiti ako habang tinitignan si Ivan. Thank you Ivan. I don’t know what to do. I feel like wala na akong magiging kaibigan bukod sainyo ni Antony. I don’t know kung anong problema ng mga kaibigan ko sakin. All I know is that, I didn’t tell them about us. Ani ko. Napaiwas na lamang si Ivan ng tingin sa akin.

Antony is always telling me to have patience with Pyok and jai. Kaya lang sa tagal na hindi kami nag-uusap, di ko mapigilang mag-isip.

Remember boss, your welfare, safety and happiness is what more important to me. He said before kissing my forehead.

Everyone’s attention is on us because of what he did. I am not scared of bullies anymore. Ivan promised me to be by my side always. That’s why I just smiled back to him.

After ng klase ay sabay kaming nag lunch ni Ivan sa canteen. It became my routine actually nung hindi ako makasabay kumain kanila Pyok.

What do you want to eat? Ivan ask me

Kahit ano na lang. sabi ko bago iabot ang pera sakanya.

Tinignan lamang ni Ivan ang pera at hindi niya kinuha.

How many times do I have to tell you na ako ang lalaki at ako dapat ang magbabayad ng pagkain? Galit na sabi niya sa akin.

First time we eat in the canteen, I give him my share for our lunch, he never accept my money and he just scold me.

He told me that he’s the man and a man should be the one who’s paying for the women. What the hell! Hindi ko alam na kahit sa pagbabayad ng pagkain ay may gender inequality!

Ivan, I need to pay you for my meal. It’s not appropriate na ikaw ang nagbabayad sa pagkain nating dalawa. Just accept it.

He look at me seriously before answering me. Bakit ba ang kulit mo? We’re arguing about this since Monday. Keep that money and wait for me here, I’ll just buy our food.

Wala na akong nagawa kundi itago ang pera dahil umalis na siya sa harap ko.

Lumingon ako sa usual spot naming magkakaibigan tuwing kumakain kami. They look fine without me. Parang sanay na sanay sila na wala ako.

Pyok looked at me that’s why I wave my hand to her. She just looked away and start eating again.

Paano nila nakakaya na hindi ako kasama? Ako kasi hindi ko kaya. even though Ivan gives me company, it’s still different. I miss them.

Dumating na si Ivan sa table naming dala ang pagkain na kakainin namin. He gave me a cup of rice, sinigang and a soda.

Nagsimula na kaming kumain ni Ivan. Just like in our room, marami pa rin ang nakatingin sa amin. I can even hear their gossip about me.

Yuck! Pinatulan talaga ni Ivan yan? Diba siya yung babaeng feeling maganda nung first day of school?

Yes it’s her. Kung tanggihan at pahiyain niya si Ivan dati sobrang galing niya tapos ngayon lalapit lapit siya sa crush natin. Dapat pinapaalis na yan sa school eh!

I don’t know why Lorry isn’t doing anything about this. Is it okay to her na basta na lang makalapit ang babaeng yan sa gusto niya?

You know what, let’s continue eating and stop talking about her. Nawawalan lang ako ng gana.

Matapos ang pag-uusap ng dalawang babae ay bumalik na lamang ako sa pagkain. See, everyone dislikes me.

I know it’s because of Ivan but, how can I stop him from being with me if I cannot also stop myself from wanting his company?

Don’t listen to their conversation. Continue eating. Seryosong sabi ni Ivan habang patuloy na kumakain.

Pagkatapos namin kumain ay dumiretso na agad kami sa room at inantay ang teacher.

When the teacher arrive, I just focus my attention on listening to the discussion. My studies should not be affected because of this.

Pyok caught my attention. She is looking at me. We stare for a while and then she look away.

May sasabihin na kaya siya sa akin? Mag-uusap na kaya kami? Should I make the first move para magkabati na kami?

I think I should. Ayoko ng patagalin ang pag-aaway pa namin so it’s better to make my move. I’ll talk to them later, after the class.

Tinapos ko ang hapon ko sa pakikinig sa teacher. Kasalukuyan kaming naglalakad ni Ivan ngayon papalabas ng gate ng makita ko kung sino ang naglalakad sa unahan namin.

Khris! Decery! Jess! Sunod-sunod na tawag ko sakanila.

Akala ko nung una ay di nila ako lilingunin pero lumingon pa rin sila.

Uhmm can we talk? I mean, right now. I don’t want to miss any single day without talking to you guys. I miss you. Nakatungo kong sabi sakanila.

I know Ivan is behind me. I know he will help me na magkaayos kaming magkakaibigan.

Please…let’s talk. Pyok?

Hindi pa rin nagsasalita ang tatlo at nakatingin lamang sila sa akin.

Give me time to think Krisha. Ani Pyok sa akin bago lumipat ang tingin niya kay Ivan.

Pwedeng kahit saglit lang Pyok? Please…gulong gulo ako sa nangyayari sa atin ngayon. I know the reason but I think it’s not enough para di niyo ako pansinin. Sabi ko kay Pyok.

Kung kailangan kong magmakaawa para makausap ko sila at malinawan ako, gagawin ko.

Lumapit si jai at itinago si Pyok sa likod niya.

You just said that you know the reason, then why are you here talking to us and telling Pyok that you want to know the reason? Ani jai.

She’s angry to me because of her cousin. Lumapit si Jess kay Jai at hinawakan nito ang braso habang si Pyok naman ay nasa likod pa rin ni Jai at nakatungo.

Don’t ask us about the reasons you want to hear…why don’t you ask Ivan to know more reasons. Maybe he knows something. Jai look at Ivan. Right Ivan?

I look into Ivan and he just look away. What does it mean? Paanong may nalalaman siya tungkol sa nangyayari sa amin? Anong alam niya kung bakit kami nagkakaganito ngayon?

I remember. May times na kapag kasama ko si Ivan at napag-uusapan namin ang rason kung bakit nagalit ang mga kaibigan ko sakin ay umiiwas siya ng tingin. There are times that he would just change the topic so we can stop talking about that.

Let’s go Pyok. Ayokong makipag-usap sa babaeng piniling makipagkaibigan sa isang babaero. Jai look at me. Kaibigan nga ba o lover? She said before grabbing Pyok’s hand and walk away.

Lumingon ako kay Ivan na may nagtatanong na tingin. He just look away as if ayaw niyang magsalita.

You know something? I ask him.

Wala. He answered me.

Ivan, answer me truthfully. May alam ka ba sa sinasabi ni Jai kanina?

Wala nga sabi eh! Sigaw sa akin ni Ivan. Now he’s angry.

Kung wala kang alam bakit hindi ka makatingin ng diretso sa akin? Ivan, I just want to know the truth kasi umpisa pa lang napapansin ko na kung ano rason nila and…I just wanted it to be clear, so Ivan tell me. I look desperate right know. I just want to know the truth.

Hindi magiging ganon ang reaksiyon nilang lahat ng malaman nila na close kami ni Ivan kung walang malalim na dahilan.

Ivan look at me. Wala. Akong. Alam. Kung ipagpipilitan mo pa rin yan bahala ka diyan. Mauuna na akong umuwi! He shouted to me before leaving.

Muka akong tanga ngayon na nakatayo malapit sa gate. Hindi ma-absorb ng utak ko yung huling sinabi ni Ivan sa akin.

Did he just shout at me? First time kong maexperience na masigawan niya.

He looked so guilty kanina nung tinatanong ko siya, meaning…may alam nga siya.

Dahil sa pangyayari ay umuwi na lamang ako mag-isa. Wala naman si Antony ngayon dahil nasa ospital si Trixie at kailangan siya doon.

Mag-isa akong umuwi sa bahay. Umakyat kaagad ako sa kwarto at nagkulong na lang doon.

I’m doing my best to think positively pero hindi nakikipag cooprate yung utak ko ngayon.

I am also doing my best para mapagdugtong lahat nng sinasabi nila saakin…and based sa mga sinasabi nila sa akin? There is a possibility that Ivan and Khris had a relationship. What I don’t understand is bakit parang galit na galit si Pyok lalo na si Jai kay Ivan.

Is Pyok a victim of Ivan? There is no other way other than that.

Aghhhh!!! Sigaw ko habang nakatakip ang unan para hindi ako marinig nila mama.

Hating gabi na at inaabangan ko ang tawag sa akin ni Ivan. He did not text me and ask me kung nakauwi na ako, that’s why I am waiting for his call.

Nag-antay pa ako ng ilang oras at hindi pa rin siya tumatawag. It’s past twelve na at kahit text o chat galing sakanya hindi ako nakatanggap.

Kinabukasan maaga akong gumising. Hindi na ako nagpaalam at nag umagahan para di mapansin nila mama ang eye bags ko.

Pagdating ko sa school ay naabutan ko agad si Antony sa upuan niya. Wala pa sila Jai at Pyok pero nakita ko si Jess na kapapasok pa lamang sa pintuan.

Krisha…tawag sa akin ni Jess.

Jess…

Lumapit siya sa akin at umupo sa katabing upuan ko.

I’m sorry about yesterday. Galit na galit sayo si Jai at kaya di ko alam kung papaano ka kakausapin.

Its okay Jess, naiintindihan ko. Gusto ko lang naman malaman lahat eh…naguguluhan ako lalo na sa sinabi ni Jai sa akin kahapon.

Jess held my hand as she looked at me in my eyes.

Krisha to be honest, I wanted to tell you everything, I really do…but I am not in the position to tell you everything.

Is this something about Ivan and Khris? Tanong ko sakanya.

At first, Jess cannot answer me but in the end wala din siyang nagawa.

Krisha ang masasabi ko lang sayo ay Ivan and Pyok had a relationship, yung lang ang masasabi ko.

So it’s true. Galing na mismo sa bibig ni Jess. What I need to know now is what happened to them.

I recommend na antayin mo na si Pyok ang magkwento. It’s about her past kaya be patient with her. Dagdag pa ni Jess.

Don’t worry, I am still waiting for her to open up to me.

Don’t worry also Krisha, I’ll talk to Jai, ipapaliwanag ko sakanya na dapat din nilang marinig ang side mo…wait nga muna. Bakit nga pala hindi mo sinabi sa amin? Jess ask me

Uhmm sorry about that Jess. I didn’t want to tell you about us because ayokong kumalat din sa ibang tao ang meron sa amin. We don’t have any relationship, we’re just friends. I didn’t also tell you because I don’t want to be bullied again by his fans as well as we are basically talking thru phone and not in person. Mahabang paliwanag ko sakanya.

Natigil lang ang pag-uusap naming ni Jess ng mapansin namin na pumasok na ang magpinsan sa pinto.

I am now looking at Khris who’s walking towards her chair. I will wait for you Khris. I will and understand whatever your explanation will be…