Single Lady Series

Chapter 16

One week after, hindi pa rin ako kinakausap nila Jai at Pyok. Pati si Ivan hindi na din ako kinakausap. Since okay na si Trixie, Antony is always with me, though hindi kami sabay umuwi dahil dumideretso siya sa bahay nila Trixie.

Dahil sa napapansin na ng mga tao na hindi na kami nagsasabay ni Ivan, nagsimula na ulit ang nga estudyante na saktan ako. There are times that students are throwing me eggs, splashing me a bucket of water, pouring juice in my head and most of the time, saying bad thing to me.

I am now an infamous in our school. Isipin niyo yon, sumikat ako hindi dahil sa matalino, maganda o mayaman ako but, because I am being bullied by the students.

Hindi ako nagsumbong sa guidance office o di kaya sa pamilya ko. Lagi lang akong nananahimik. I thought my years as a senior high school student will be the same when I was in junior high, nagkamali ako. Mas mahirap pakisamahan ang mga estudyanteng nakakasalamuha ko.

Just like the usual days, I am eating with Antony. Antony was with me but not most of the time. I understand him since he was taking care of his girlfriend. Kahit na medyo okay si Trixie ay kailangan pa rin nila itong bantayan dahil sa kalagayan niya.

Krisha kumain ka na…don’t stress yourself. Tignan mo yang sarili mo, you look thin. Pagsesermon sa akin ni Antony.

Okay lang ako Tonyo, medyo busog pa naman ako kaya konti lang kakainin ko. Malumanay kong sabi sakanya.

Hindi ka pa rin ba nagsusumbong sa mga magulang mo? Tanong niya sa akin habang patuloy pa din na kumakain.

Hindi naman kailangan magsumbong, titigil din yang mga yan, antayin mo lang.

Eh paano kung hindi? Krisha…how can you be so sure na titigilan ka nila? Look at them, they are insulting and hurting you…You know what, it’s because of Ivan! Look at you, you are being bullied because of him. Antony looks angry. I understand why he is being like this. He warned me about Ivan but I did not listen to him.

Don’t blame Ivan. He did nothing to me. The one to blame is his fans and not him. I say to him with conviction.

Maybe I look stupid, desperate and martyr because of what am I saying but, I cannot blame Ivan…I just can’t.

Now you’re defending that man! Krisha open your mind! . Babaero yung taong yon at siguradong sa umpisa ka lang niya pinasaya. Ani Antony.

Now we’re fighting. Wala na bang matitira sa akin? Pati si Antony aawayin na din ako?

Hindi siya ganon Antony. Stop talking and continue eating. I said to him.

He stopped talking and stare at me for a minute. He’s serous right now, I can sense it. Hindi niya nagugustuhan ang pagtatanggol na ginagawa ko kay Ivan.

Kung hindi siya ganon, then where is he? Did he even contacted you and make up to you? Matapos mo siyang komprontahin anong ginawa niya? Iniwan ka niya at hinayaan umuwi ng mag-isa! Now tell me Krisha? Hindi nga ba siya ganon? Antony said with his bloodshot eye.

I cannot say anything to him because I know he’s right. I know Ivan is to blame but, how can I blame the man I like?

I started eating again. He’s still looking at me and I guess he’s waiting for me to answer.

I am not here to make a fight Krisha…I just want you to realize things for you to understand better. I am just concern about you and your feelings about what’s happening. Antony said before continuing eating his food.

We ended eating without talking again. We are now going to our classroom and wait for our next class.

When I’m about to enter the room, I saw Ivan talking to Lorry. They are talking and I saw how Lorry cling her hands into Ivan’s arm. She’s flirting with him! Ivan saw me but he continued talking to Lorry. Napakagaling niya! Paraang noon lang ayaw niyang lumalapit si Lorry sakanya tapos ngayon hinawakan siya sakay, wala siyang pakealam?

Nagdaad ang isang oras at natapos na ang klase namin sa science. Naiihi ako kaya pumunta muna ako ng cr. Before entering the cubicle, I saw the friends of Lorry. I don’t know all of their names but I remember Gladys.

Matapos kong umihi ay lumabas na ako ng cubicle at pumunta sa gripo para maghugas ng kamay. I saw one of Gladys friends filling a bucket of water. They are still talking that’s why I did not bother to look at them again. Patapos na akong maghugas ng kamay ng biglang may malamig na likido ang bumuhos sa buong katawan ko.

I heard everyone laughing because of what they did. s**t ang lamig ng tubig!

Aww poor Krisha, akala niya siguro papatulan siya ni Ivan. Tsk you look pathetic you know? Wag mo na kasing hangarin ang isang tulad niya kasi hindi naman kayo bagay na dalawa. Right girls? Gladys said. Sinangayunan naman ng mga kasama niya ang sinabi niya sa akin.

Tumingin naman ako ng masama sakanila. Tawa pa din sila ng tawa na para bang tuwang tuwa silang nakikita akong basang basa.

At sino naman sa tingin niyo ang bagay sakanya? Si Lorry? Ikaw? Kayo? Kung hindi kami bagay edi tigilan niyo ako! From what I can see? You’re just insecure at me! Move your ass b***h! I said before leaving.

Gulat naman ang naging reaksyon nila dahil sa mga sinabi ko. I’m done with them. Ako ang napagod kaaantay na tumigil sila kaya kung kinakailangan ko na silang patulan, papatulan ko sila.

Dumiretso ako ng room para kuhanin ang damit ko na tuyo at makapagpalit. When I got into our room, the teacher is discussing already. I got their attention when I started walking straight to my chair, get my bag and ask the teacher for permission to change to my clothes.

What happened to you Krisha? Ma’am Julie ask.

I guess it is her first time seeing me wet because of being bullied. No scratch that…she’s the first one to saw me like this.

Sorry ma’am Julie for being rude…As you can see I am now soaking in water so if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just go to the bathroom and change my uniform. I said to the teacher then start walking straight to the bathroom.

Paglabas ko ng classroom ay nakita ko kaagad sila Gladys na papuntang room. I did not stop walking and just pass through them. I found my way in the cubicle and start to undress. I look helpless as tears started to flow in my eyes.

Hindi ko na kaya ang ginagawa nila sa akin. Never in my life had I experience to be bullied by other students. Ngayon lang kung kailan dapat mas mature ng mag-isip ang mga estudyante.

I have no friend to lean on right now. They are all mad at me. What am I supposed to do?

Matapos kong magbihis ay lumabas na ako ng cubicle. Naghilamos muna ako para hindi mapansin ng iba na umiyak ako.

Paglabas ko ng cr ay napansin ko kaagad ang isang lalaki na nag-aabang sa gilid. It’s Ivan. What is he doing here? Did he follow me?

What are you doing here? I ask him without showing any emotions.

Krisha are you okay? I can see na mukang nag-aalala na siya sa akin but I should not assume.

Do I look okay to you? I ask him again still with a blank face.

Hindi siya makapagsalita. All he can do right now is to look at me na parang awang-awa at sising-sisi dahil iniwan at di niya ako pinansin bigla.

If you’re not going to say anything, then I’m going.

I started to walk but Ivan stop me by grabbing my hand. I just looked at him, waiting for him to talk or say something.

I’m sorry. He said.

For what?

For the last time. I never intended to shout at you and leave you that time…it’s just that, I don’t know how to explain to you.

Explain what? Please tell me everything. Sabihin mo lang lahat Ivan, patatawarin kita.

He looked away to me. He’s probably thinking if he is going to tell me or not. Ganon ba kahirap sabihin sakin?

Ivan I’m waiting. I said na para bang naiinip na ako.

Krisha I am very sorry. If I tell you my side then later on Khris tell you everything, maguguluhan ka lang.

So hindi mo kayang sabihin?

Hindi naman sa gano….

Eh ano lang Ivan?! Because of those secrets of yours I am now alone! my friends are mad at me! I am being bullied by your fans, thinking that we have relationship! I shouted to him.

Punong-puno na ako sakanya, sa kanilang lahat at sa pesteng mga sikreto na yan. Bakit ba kasi hindi na lang sila sabihin…ikamamatay ko ba kung malaman ko? Hindi naman eh…ikalulungkot ko ba kung malaman ko? Hindi naman! Ano ba ang pakealam ko sa nakaraan nila?

I’m really sorry Krisha…

I can feel my tears in my cheeks. It started in a single drop until it blurry my vision.

Matatama ba ng sorry mo ang lahat Ivan? You promised me, remember? Sabi mo nasa tabi lang kita kasi sabi mo pasasayahin mo ako, sabi mo poprotektahan mo ako. Akala ko mag-aayos pa tayo, kasi akala ko hindi mo ako matitiis. But no, nakita lang naman kita na kausap si Lorry kanina at mukang tuwang tuwa ka habang hinahawak-hawakan niya!

No Krisha…magkausap lang kami. Ani Ivan bago hawakan ang kamay ko.

Right, magkausap nga lang kayo…malisyosa lang siguro ako no? I look like a girlfriend, jealous because she caught her boyfriend cheating on her! Wait, we’re not in a relationship right? Assuming na naman ako.

He is just looking to me as if inaabsorb niya lahat ng sinasabi ko.

I am going to make this right Krisha, I promise you. This time, totoo na…Just please forgive me boss. If the time comes and everything is back into its places, I promise you, hindi ka na magseselos ulit dahil liligawan kita at magiging akin ka. He said before leaving.

Shock was written in my face. I cannot absorb what he said to me. Did he said na liligawan niya ako at magiging kanya ako? Does that mean, he likes me?

After that conversation with him bumalik na ako sa room. Pagpasok ko pa is ay kita ko kung paano tumingin sa akin lahat ng tao sa loob, including my friends.

Nang makaupo sa upuan ay agad kong napansin ang pagtayo ni Antony at ang paglapit niya sa akin.

What happened to you? Ayos ka lang ba? Tanong niya sa akin.

I’m fine. Go back to your chair and don’t disturb me. I said to him.

Antony stared at me for a while before going back to his chair.

I am drained right now, emotionally and physically. Feeling ko naubos lahat ng energy ko nung nag-usap kami ni Ivan kanina.

I hope he’s true to his words. Ayokong mag assume sa sinabi niya but I am hoping.

Mayamaya pa ay dumating na ang teacher. I am just staring to what the teacher is discussing in front. Looks like my body is present but my mind is absent. Buong discussion ganon ako, kahit sa last subject namin ay ganon ako. Kanina nga tinawag ako ng teacher dahil sa pagiging absent minded ko.

Pagkatapos ng klase ay tumayo na agad ako at naunang maglakad palabas ng room. I did not wait for Antony since hindi rin naman kami mag-sasabay dahil pupuntahan niya rin si Trixie.

When I got home, papa is still not home, Ella is in her room and mama is watching TV. Mukang di napansin ni mama ang presensiya ko kaya dumiretso na lamang ako papunta sa higaan ko.

For one week hindi ako makapag kwento kanila mama ng nangyayari sa akin. I am just listening to them and when I finished eating, I’ll wait for them to finish and wash the dishes, and after that, I walk straight to my room and cry all night until I fell asleep.

I hope walang napapansin sa akin sila mama. I am still answering them when they ask me but, most of the time I am silent.

Kinabukasan walang bumungad na kung ano sa akin sa school. No splashing of water and throwing of eggs. Looks like everyone is in peace. When I got into our room, nakita ko kaagad ang tatlo kong kaibigan. They are just talking. They saw me that’s why they stop talking.

Akala ko magiging okay na ngayon since walang kalokohan sa akin ang mga bully pero, hindi pa rin pala.

I did what I need to do the whole time, and that is to listen to the discussion.

After ng morning discussion, lunch na namin. Wala si Antony dahil absent na naman siya para kay Trixie.

When I entered the canteen, no one is looking at me and no bullies. Umupo ako sa isang lamesa matapos kong makaorder ng pagkain. Magsisimula na sana akong kumain ng mapansin ko ang pag-upo ni Jess, Khris at Jai sa lamesa ko. They started eating without looking at me. I was shock na Makita ko sila ngayon at makasama ulit.

Don’t stare at us and start eating girl. Jai said to me…

Para akong maiiyak habang sinusubo ang pagkain sa aking plato. Napapangiti akong may luha sa mata. I really miss them. Ilang araw nila akong natiis na hindi kasama tapos heto na sila ngayon.

I continue eating with a smile in my face. This day is not bad at all.