Single Lady Series

Chapter 17

Kasama ko na sila Jai, Jess at Pyok ngayon. We’re now okay, though Pyok still didn’t tell me anything but, its fine. As long as we’re good then I am good with that.

About Ivan, he’s always texting me, sometime he’s trying to call me but I don’t answer all of his call, chats or texts.

Mas madalas rin siyang naglalagay ng pagkain o kahit anong regalo sa upuan ko. Maybe sinusuyo niya ako or pwede rin naman na way niya para magsorry.

Right now we’re in library. Free time namin ngayon actually but, a teacher saw us and ask as if we could help them in cleaning the library, and we said yes.

Magkasama kami ngayon ni Pyok na nag-aarange ng libro sa shelf, sila Jai at jess naman ang nagwawalis.

Krisha…I’m sorry. Sorry because we got mad without telling you a single explanation why we acted like that. Pyok said to me.

It’s ok Pyok. I actually understand that. I just don’t like how you acted with those days na hindi niyo ako kinakausap. Nagmumuka akong hangin lang kapag sinubukan kong sumali sa usapan niyo. 

That’s actually how I feel when they are not letting me join their circle. But I still understand them. I told to myself that I should understand them because they’re my friends.

Still, Krisha…I’m very sorry. You we’re bullied and we’re not there for you when you needed us.

Nako okay lang yon. I don’t fight back because I know that they will stop eventually but, remember the day when I entered the room soaked in water? I did fight back to the bullies. Nakakapagod din pala na magtiis.I said to her while still arranging the books.

Khris pause for a while and face me with her serious face. She sigh and start tom open her mouth.

Krisha…the reason why we, I got mad at you is because you didn’t tell us about you and Ivan. I already warned you about him but, you still chose to get close to him.

I know that reason already… what I need to know is why they have grudge against Ivan.

I already know that…

Khris stop for a moment and sit in the table near the shelf.

When I was in my junior years, I really admire Ivan. He got the looks, body and money. I have a crush on him that’s why I join the fans club that is built for him. When I was in eighth grade, he noticed me. Just like what he’s doing to you, we always talk in the phone, he takes care of me and he’s spoiling with snacks and gifts, that’s why I fall for him harder.

I knew it. She’s into him. But I don’t know where is the part that she should be angry to Ivan.

When he ask me if he can be my boyfriend, I said yes without thinking twice. He’s a good and loving boyfriend actually. Every girl will fall hard to Ivan. Months being in a relationship with him, I noticed that he’s changing day by day. I always see him with Lorry. Lorry is my bestfriend, she is actually my childhood friend. At first hindi ako nagselos but, noong napapadalas na I ask Ivan. I confronted him and just said to me that they are just friends, that he’s just being friendly with everyone. She continued.

Nakatayo pa rin ako sa harap ni Khris ngayon. I am listening very carefully to absorb every information she’s saying to me.

After that confrontation naging ganon pa rin sila araw-araw. Ayokong kausapin si Lorry non kasi naiinis ako sakanya. I feel like, inaagaw niya yung boyfriend ko. Because of jealousy, I confronted Ivan again. That’s the time he told me that we should break up because of my toxic mind set. Of course at first I didn’t believe his reasons, that’s why I told him that I will give him time. After a week or two, I talk to him again. Do you want to know what he said to me? She ask me.

What did he said?

Pyok tried to open her mouth to speak but her eyes starts to speak before her mouth. She cried and cried silently, scared to hear by her cousin.

It’s okay krisha, I should tell you this para may alam ka na.

She wiped her tears and compose herself before opening her mouth again.

He told me na wag na daw akong maghabol. He told me that, he thought for all those months that we’ve been together, may mangyayari samin. I know he has needs but I am not ready for that. After saying that to me, he started to walk. I stop him and told him that I am ready to give myself even I know to myself na hindi naman talaga. Ang tanga ko diba? I offered my body to him para lang hindi kami magbreak.

Hearing what Pyok said, it made me think kung ganoon din kaya ang gawin sakin ni Ivan kung nagkatuluyan man kami? I hope not. He change somehow when we are still talking. Or not?

 I started to kiss him like as if I know how to kiss like a pro. He responded but eventually stop. I thought magiging okay na pero hindi na pala. The next day he got his self a new girlfriend. One time when I am walking in the hall, someone ask me about an issue about me. May nagpakalat sa school na handa ko daw ibigay ang sarili ko para lang mahalin ako. Everyone insulted me, they are telling me that I am a w***e, slut and desperate. That time, nalaman ko din kung sino ang nagpakalat non. I thought it was Ivan but he’s not. It was actually my bestfriend, Lorry. The issue subside because Jai scared them that if they will not stop, she will sue everyone.

Khris cried and cried as she ended her story. Sobrang nasaktan ako para kay Pyok. Hearing her side, I understand now why she’s not telling me at first her reasons. Kahit ako ang nasa kalagayan niya ay hindi ko din kakayanin. She suffered from anxiety and depression that time kaya natatakot din siyang magkwento.

But still, I don’t know the reason why she’s angry to Ivan. Nung narinig ko yung kwento niya, mas nagalit at nainis pa ako kay Lorry eh.

Maybe she’s angry because of Ivan’s lame reason for their break up.

After our conversation, I can see na medyo naiilang pa rin sa akin si Pyok. I should never bring up that topic. It is better for her to be totally healed.

After namin sa library, we went to canteen. Bibili lang kami ng meryenda dahil nagutom kami sa ginawa namin.

Nang makarating kami sa canteen ay naabutan namin si Ivan at ang mga kaibigan nito sa isang lamesa.

They look at us. I saw Ivan looking intensely in me. I look away and follow my friends. What should I do if he talk to me?

I know na somehow, wala naman siyang naging kasalanan sa nangyari kay Khris. Maybe he really has needs and he thought Khris can fulfill his needs because he knew that Khris like him a lot that time.

After my conversation with Ivan outside the bathroom, no one bullied me again. Lorry and her friends still insult me though but, what most important is wala ng nananakit physically.

My life as a simple student is back…and I’m happy with that. Kaya lang feeling ko may kulang…I really miss him even though nagkaroon kami ng pagtatalo.

Natapos na ang panghuling klase namin at pauwi na kami. Hindi ko pa rin makakasabay si Antony dahil dideretso siya sa bahay nila Trixie.

Pagdating ko sa bahay ay pumunta ako ng kwarto ko. I did my routine and lay in my bed.

Bago ko pa mahawakan ang cellphone ay narinig ko na agad itong tumunog. I open it and I saw Ivan’s chat.

Ivan:

Nakauwi ka na?

I ignored his chat to me and just continue scrolling on my phone. My cellphone beep again and saw Ivan’s message in me.

Ivan:

I saw you entered the jeep earlier. Nakauwi ka ba ng maayos?

Nagkaayos na ba kayo ng mga kaibigan mo?

I assume you knew now what happened to us.

May mga nambubully pa ba sayo? Just tell me if someone bully you again.

Sunod-sunod na chat sa akin ni Ivan. Lahat yon hindi ko nireplayan.

After dinner pumunta na ulit ako sa kwarto ko.

My phone beep again and sa Ivan’s messages on me.

He’s asking kung nakakain na ako, matutulog at kung anong oras ako papasok bukas.

I hold my phone firmly. I badly wanted to reply to his messages in me. For what he already did, he stop all the bully, I think it’s enough. Kaya lang ayokong maging marupok.

Bago ko pa siya mareply-an ay itinabi ko na ang cellphone ko at natulog. Konti pa Ivan, do your best at bibigay din ako.

Kinabukasan pagpasok ko pa lang sa classroom ay naabutan ko kaagad ang kumpulan ng mga kaibigan ko sa upunan ko.

I walk straight to my chair and saw a bouquet of flower with a note on it.

It’s from Ivan. He gave me a flower and the note said.

To my boss:

I’m sorry boss. I hope we can be okay now. I am missing you so bad.

From Ivan…

My heart flutter for what I’ve red. I miss him to and I am willing to forgive him. Hindi nga lang ngayon.

I am scared to take the risk. Kagabi ko pa naiisip na kung magiging okay man kami at magiging kami ay baka matulad ako sa nangyari kay Pyok. And seing Pyok right now, she’s still traumatize for what happened…and I don’t want that to happen to me.

Days passed and everyday akong nakakatanggap ngg bulaklak galing sakanya. Today is Friday in the morning and papasok na ako ng room ng maabutan ko ang mga kaklase kong lalaki sa pintuan at lahat sila ay nakahilara at may dalang bulaklak.

They gave me the flower. Nang marating ko ang pinakadulo at maibigay sa akin ang pinakahuling bulaklak, I saw Ivan. He is wearing a uniform with a bouquet in his hands. In his back I see words, formed into sorry.

I don’t know what to say. I am stun and I can’t move.

He walk towards me and hand me the bouquet. He look at me straight in my eyes and hold my hands.

Khrisha…

My hearts starts beating fast. Sinabi niya lang ang pangalan ko at ganon na kaagad ang epekto niya sa pagkatao ko.

I am sorry for everything…I am sorry for leaving you when you needed me the most and sorry for not fulfilling all the promises I said to you.

He pauses for a second and stand straight before continuing.

Boss, I am standing in front of you right now, hoping…hoping that I can fix what we are, before everything happened.

Can you forgive me? I really miss you so bad my boss…

Never kong maexperience ang gantong bagay sa buhay ko. A man is standing in front of me, apologizing for what he did.

May nags-sorry sa akin dati pero hindi naman ganito kaeffort.

I look at my friends’ reaction and I can see that they are smiling except Pyok. I know she’s happy and at the same time scared for what Ivan can do to me.

I cannot blame her but, hindi ko na kayang palagpasin ang pagkakataon na ito para magkaayos kami ni Ivan and to confess everything to him.

I look at Ivan again and smiled at him before nodding. He smiled back and hug me for a minute.

I also want to take this opportunity to say this to you, boss. Boss…I like you and I love you. I know because of what you’ve heard about me in the past made you think if it is worth the risk but, I promise you, boss…I swear to you and to everyone who’s here with us that…I will not hurt you, that I am worth the risk…I promise you that Krisha…I promise. He whisper to me.

It made me smile. All my worries are disappeared. I won’t let this chance pass.

I like you too Ivan. I don’t need your promises because I don’t want to expect in everything that you will do…

Ivan look at me and smiled widely. I think I made him the happiest man right now because of what I tell to him.

This day change everything. I have now a boyfriend, the bullies disappeared and for the first time in my life, I experienced to be happy, not because of simple things but because he made me happy. I won’t take his promise because I don’t want to expect but, I am hoping that I can be the right girl who will change him and untamed the playboy Ivan….