Bawal na Pagnanasa (SPG)

ANNA'S POV Ang init. Iyon ang una kong naramdaman pagkababa ko ng tricycle. It wasn’t just the tropical heat of the province—iyong klase ng init na dumidikit sa balat at humahalo sa alikabok ng kalsada. No, this heat was coming from inside me. It was simmering beneath my skin, crawling through my veins like slow-moving lava. "Nandito na tayo, Anna," masayang sabi ni Auntie Belen habang binabayaran ang driver. Pinilit kong ngumiti kahit pakiramdam ko ay bibigay na ang tuhod ko anumang oras. "Salamat, Tita. Ang ganda po ng lugar niyo." Maganda naman talaga. The house was a modest bungalow painted in soft cream, with a wide porch that faced the endless stretch of the ocean. Rinig na rinig ko ang hampas ng alon, the rhythmic crashing that sounded like a heartbeat. The air smelled of salt and dried fish—a scent that should have been calming, but to me, it felt suffocating. Everything felt suffocating when the Hunger started. Bitbit ko ang malaking luggage ko, my knuckles turning white from gripping the handle too tight. I was trying to ground myself. Focusing on the pain in my hand to distract myself from the ache between my legs. "Pasensya ka na, hija, hindi na ako makakapagtagal," nagmamadaling sabi ni Auntie Belen habang binubuksan ang main door. "Tumawag kasi ang supplier ko sa palengke, kailangan ko daw kunin ang mga isda ngayon din kung hindi, ibibigay sa iba. Alam mo naman, business is business." Tumango ako, wiping the bead of sweat trickling down my temple. "Okay lang po, Tita. Naiintindihan ko. Sanay naman po akong mag-isa." Sanay akong mag-isa sa dilim. Sanay akong maghanap ng paraan para makaraos. Pumasok kami sa loob. The interior was airy, with wooden furniture that looked antique but well-maintained. There were family pictures on the wall. Wedding photos. Napako ang tingin ko sa isang litrato. Si Auntie Belen, nakasuot ng simpleng puting bestida, at sa tabi niya... siya. My uncle. Marco. Even in the picture, he oozed a raw, magnetic masculinity. He wasn't smiling fully, just a smirk that suggested he knew secrets the rest of the world didn't. His skin was deeply tanned, contrasting sharply with Auntie's lighter complexion. Even through the glass frame, I felt a strange pull. "Si Marco na ang bahala sa’yo dito," Auntie’s voice snapped me back to reality. She was already at the door, clutching her bag. "Mabait 'yun, medyo tahimik lang. Huwag kang mahihiyang magtanong, ha? Feel at home, Anna." "O-opo. Ingat po kayo." Nang magsara ang pinto at marinig ko ang papalayong tricycle, doon lang ako nakahinga. Or at least, I tried to. Binitawan ko ang maleta ko at napasandal sa pader. I closed my eyes, sliding down until I hit the cool tiled floor. God, it hurts. Nagsisimula na naman. Tinatawag ko itong The Hunger. Para sa iba, ang s*x ay para sa pleasure, para sa love, o para sa pagbuo ng pamilya. Pero para sa akin? Para itong hangin. Para itong tubig. It was a biological necessity. Kapag hindi ko nakukuha, nagkakasakit ako. Physically ill. Nagsimula ang panginginig ng mga daliri ko. My vision blurred slightly, pulsating at the edges. Ang init sa puson ko ay hindi na lang basta init—para na itong apoy na unti-unting kumakain sa katinuan ko. My breathing became shallow and ragged. Within minutes, my skin felt hypersensitive. Even the friction of my denim shorts against my thighs felt like sandpaper rubbing against a raw wound. I need it. I need to be filled. I need to be used. The thoughts were intrusive, disgusting, and overwhelming. Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko, clawing at my shirt. My n*****s were rock hard, aching for touch, aching to be bitten, to be pulled. The wetness between my legs was becoming uncomfortable, soaking through my panties. Feeling sticky and hot. Control, Anna. Control. Tumayo ako nang gewang-gewang. Kailangan kong uminom ng tubig. Malamig na tubig. Maybe that would defuse the fire inside me. Naglakad ako papunta sa kitchen. It was simple, clean. May pitsel ng tubig sa mesa. Nanginginig ang kamay ko habang nagsasalin sa baso. I gulped it down, expecting relief, but the water did nothing. The fire wasn’t in my throat; it was in my blood. Nabitiwan ko ang baso. CRASH. Basag na salamin sa sahig. Tumalsik ang tubig sa mga binti ko. "Sh*t," bulong ko. Napaupo ako para pulutin ang mga bubog, but my hands were shaking so bad that I cut my finger. Napasinghap ako sa hapdi. A drop of red blood welled up on my fingertip. I stared at it, mesmerized. The pain was sharp, grounding. For a second, purely a second, nawala ang init sa puson ko at nalipat ang atensyon ko sa daliri ko. Pero bumukas ang pinto sa likod. Isang malakas na hampas ng hangin mula sa dagat ang pumasok, amoy asin at araw. At kasabay noon, pumasok siya. Natigilan ako. Nakaluhod pa rin ako sa sahig, hawak ang duguang daliri, habang nakatingin sa lalaking kakapasok lang. Marco. Kung gwapo siya sa litrato, devastating siya sa personal. He was taller than I expected. Broad-shouldered, with muscles that looked forged from hard labor and heavy lifting. He wasn't wearing a shirt. Let me repeat that: He wasn't wearing a shirt. Ang suot lang niya ay isang luma at kupas na board shorts na nakababa nang delikado sa kanyang balakang, showing off the deep V-lines of his lower abs leading straight to his groin. Basang-basa siya. His deep brown skin—moreno and flawless—glistened with seawater and sweat. Water droplets clung to his chest hair, sparkling like diamonds in the afternoon light before trailing down his rigid abs. Parang bumagal ang ikot ng mundo. I watched a single drop of water travel from his collarbone, trace the valley between his pectoral muscles, slide over the ridges of his abs, and disappear into the waistband of his shorts. Napalunok ako. My mouth went bone-dry. Mas lalong sumiklab ang Hunger ko. It wasn't just a crave anymore; it was a demand. My core clenched violently, liquid rushing out of me so fast I felt like I was wetting myself. My vision tunneled. All I could see was him. All I could smell was him—that potent mix of ocean brine and raw, musky male scent. He blinked, clearly surprised to see me there on the floor surrounded by broken glass. "Anna?" His voice. God, his voice. It was low, gravelly, sending vibrations straight to the floorboards and into my knees. Binaba niya ang hawak niyang crate ng isda at mabilis na lumapit sa akin. Every step he took radiated power. Before I could process it, he was kneeling in front of me. He was so close. Too close. Naaamoy ko na siya nang husto. The scent was intoxicating. Parang droga. Gusto ko siyang dilaan. Gusto kong idikit ang mukha ko sa leeg niya at langhapin ang pawis niya. "Anong nangyari? Nasugatan ka ba?" tanong niya, his brows furrowed in concern. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. The moment his skin touched mine—calloused, rough, warm—it felt like an electric shock. Napasinghap ako nang malakas. Not from pain, but from pleasure. The contact sent a jolt of arousal straight to my c******s so intense that my toes curled. "A-ah..." ungol ko, hindi ko napigilan. Natigilan siya saglit, his dark eyes flickering to my face. Did he hear that? Did he hear the want in that sound? "Dumudugo," seryoso niyang sabi, examining my cut finger. He didn't seem to notice my reaction, or maybe he was ignoring it. "Huwag kang gagalaw. Kukuha ako ng first aid kit." He stood up, leaving me breathless on the floor. Pinanood ko siyang maglakad. Even his back was perfect. The way his back muscles moved as he reached for a kit on top of the fridge was mesmerizing. When he stretched, his shorts rode down a little lower, exposing just a hint of pale skin that the sun hadn't touched. Imagine biting that spot, a voice in my head whispered. Imagine dragging your nails down that back while he thrusts into you. Umiling ako. Anna, tumigil ka! Asawa siya ng Tita mo! Pero hindi nakikinig ang katawan ko. My heart was hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird. Bumalik siya agad, kneeling between my spread legs without hesitation. He was just trying to treat my wound, purely innocent, pero ang posisyon namin... kung gagalaw lang ako nang kaunti, kung hihilahin ko lang siya palapit... ang mukha niya ay tatama sa gitna ng hita ko. The thought made me dampen my panties even more. "Masakit ba?" tanong niya habang dahan-dahang pinupunasan ng bulak ang sugat ko. He was focused, gentle despite his rough appearance. "H-hindi po," I managed to choke out. My voice was husky, unrecognizable. "Tito... a-ayos lang ako." He paused and looked up. Because he was kneeling and I was sitting, our faces were level. His eyes were incredibly dark, almost black, with thick lashes that a woman would kill for. And for the first time, I saw something there. Not lust, no. But curiosity. He was studying me. Taking in my flushed cheeks, my parted lips, the rapid rise and fall of my chest. "Namumutla ka kanina, pero ngayon ang pula-pula mo," puna niya. Nilapag niya ang bulak at kumuha ng band-aid. "Mainit ba masyado dito? Hindi ka ba sanay sa probinsya?" Ikaw. Ikaw ang nagpapainit sa akin. "Medyo... medyo naninibago lang po," I lied. Binalot niya ang band-aid sa daliri ko. His fingers lingered for a second longer than necessary. Or maybe imagining ko lang 'yun? "Ayan. Okay na," sabi niya, sabay tayo. Inoffer niya ang kamay niya para tulungan akong tumayo. I stared at his large, open palm. Don't touch him, Anna. Don't. But I had to get up. Inabot ko ang kamay niya. He pulled me up effortlessly, like I weighed nothing. But when I was finally on my feet, I stumbled. The Hunger made me dizzy. Nasalo niya ako agad. His arm wrapped around my waist—solid, firm, possessive. My chest collided with his damp, naked torso. Oh my God. Ang init ng katawan niya. The texture of his skin against my thin shirt... I could feel the hardness of his chest muscles. I could feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat. And I could smell him, overwhelmingly closer now. Instinct took over. My hands involuntarily clutched his biceps to steady myself. Ang tigas ng braso niya. Bakal. For a split second, neither of us moved. We were chest to chest, hip to hip. I could feel the heat radiating off him, seeping into my own shivering body. I looked up at him, breathless, my lips parting. Looking at his lips. They were full, slightly chapped from the sun. What would they taste like? Salt? Smoke? Sin? Nakatingin siya sa akin, his expression unreadable, but his jaw clenched. Did he feel it too? The tension? The static electricity in the air? "Ingat," he murmured, his voice deeper now, rougher. Dahan-dahan niya akong binitawan, stepping back as if realizing the impropriety of the position. "Magpahinga ka na sa kwarto. Ako na maglilinis nito." He turned away abruptly and started picking up the broken glass. Naiwan akong nakatayo doon, my whole body vibrating. My skin felt like it was on fire where he had touched me. The imprint of his arm on my waist burned. Tumakbo ako papasok sa kwarto. I didn't walk; I fled. Pagkasara ng pinto, I locked it with trembling hands. I leaned back against the wood, gasping for air, sliding down until I was huddled on the floor again. I pressed my hand between my legs, squeezing hard, trying to stop the ache. But it was useless. Seeing him, touching him, smelling him... it had only made the monster inside me stronger. Sinilip ko ang sarili ko sa salamin ng cabinet. My eyes were wild, dilated. My skin was flushed pink. I looked like a woman in the throes of fever. Or passion. Hindi ko kaya 'to. This house wasn't a sanctuary. It was a torture chamber. How was I supposed to survive living here with him? Living with a man who looked like walking sin, while battling a condition that demanded I sin to survive? Kumabog ang dibdib ko. The pressure in my lower belly was becoming unbearable. Painful. I needed release. And I needed it now. Hindi pwedeng si Marco. Hindi pwede. Mapapatay ako ni Auntie Belen. Masusunog ako sa impyerno. Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko sa bag. My fingers were shaking so bad I could barely type. I opened the dating app I used back in the city. The GPS refreshed. Searching for nearby users... Please. Please let there be someone. A tourist. A backpacker. Kahit tricycle driver. I didn't care. I just needed a body to use so I could stop thinking about my uncle's wet, brown skin. Ping. Isang profile ang lumabas. "Jake, 24. 2km away." Tourist. Looks decent enough. Hindi na ako nag-isip. I messaged him instantly. Anna: Hey. Are you free right now? Seconds later, he replied. Jake: Yeah. Just chilling at the beach bar near the resort. Why? Anna: I need to see you. Now. Binaba ko ang phone ko at huminga ng malalim. I have to go out. Kailangan kong tumakas. Kung makikita ako ni Marco na aalis, magtatanong siya. He would act like the protective uncle. Wait. Did I hear footsteps outside my door? Nanigas ako. Did he follow me? Did he hear me panting? I held my breath, listening to the silence of the house, waiting for a knock that I simultaneously dreaded... and desperately wanted.