DUCANI LEGACY SERIES #7: Khalila

Khalila If love is a color, what would it be? Would it be blue like the ocean that's as deep as the wound he caused me? Would it be green like the forest that's as mysterious as him? Yellow like the Sun, blazing and hot like the nights we spent together? Or maybe it's red. Red like these two lines I'm seeing in the pregnancy test kit, telling me I'm carrying his child? "He better not show his f*****g face here dahil ako mismo ang papatay sa kanya!" kuya Klinn's voice thundered. Sa lahat ng mga kapatid ko ay si kuya Klinn ang bihira lamang mawalan ng kontrol sa kanyang emosyon. He is as calm as the ocean waves on a sunny day, but right now, all I see is a terrifying sea who's about to swallow even the biggest ships as the storm inside him becomes stronger. Kuya Konnar shifted in his seat as he rubbed his palms on his face. "When was the last time that he contacted you?" Nilunok ko ang namumuong bara sa aking lalamunan. I am Khalila Ducani. I don't cry easily. Ako ang pinakamatapang na anak ni Khalil Ducani, pero heto ako ngayon, parang pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa at walang ibang choice kun'di ang patunayang hindi ko iiyakan ang ama ng anak ko. At least not in front of them. "A month ago. I can't remember," malamig ang tinig kong sagot. Kuya Keios crossed his arms, his face as dark as the rest of my brothers. Tanging si kuya Konnar na lamang ang nananatiling kalmado sa lahat dahil maging si Daddy ay namumula na sa galit. Daddy drew in a sharp breath. "What do you plan to do with the baby?" "I..." Uminit ang sulok ng aking mga mata at naipit sa lalamunan ko ang mga salitang nais kong sabihin. Kinailangan ko pang humugot ng malalim na hininga't suminghot para lamang makontrol ko ang aking sarili dahil pakiramdam ko ay para akong basag na salaming tuluyan nang bibigay oras na pilitin kong magsalita. Tumayo si kuya Keeno at lumapit sa aking tabi. "You can go abroad for now. Pwede ka namang samahan nina Mama at Daddy. Kahit saang bansa pa, I'm sure we can pull some strings so no one will find out about this." Suminghot ako. "Why do I have to be ashamed of it? Siya ang dapat na mahiya. Siya ang nagsinungaling sa akin." "Because if you won't, makokontrol namin ang mga sarili namin, Lila, pero paano sina Agrain at Halley? Do you think we can stop them from doing something to him?" si kuya Konnar. I pursed my lips together. Those two guys I wasted for a useless liar, I know what they are capable of, and I hate that kuya Konnar was right. "Lila, I think this is the best decision to make right now. Wala kang takas. They have all the proofs that can ruin your name. Ayos lang kung kami ang sisirain, pero kapag ikaw na ang pinag-uusapan, you know we will always go to war for you." I shut my eyes and clenched my fists. Galit na galit ako. Galit na galit, pero sa kabila ng poot, nakakainis isiping naroroon pa rin ang kirot at pagmamahal. Bakit ba ang malas ko namang pumili ng lalakeng mamahalin? I had a wide ocean filled with fishes I could've chosen from. Why did I let someone like him fool me this way? Ganoon ba ako katanga? Totoo ba na kapag matalino kang tao ay nagiging tanga ka pagdating sa pag-ibig? "I... I need some time to think..." Tumayo ako't mabilis na lumakad paakyat ng hagdan, takot na oras na makita nila ang namumuong luha sa aking mga mata ay hindi na talaga sila makapagpigil ng kanilang mga galit. Isinara ko ang pinto at pinunasan ang aking mga luha. Nang mai-lock ang pinto ay pilit kong kinuha ang cellphone ko't tinawagan ang numero niya. Maybe I'm really crazy for still wanting to hear him explain his side. Kahit siguro iyon lamang? Iyong ipaliwanag lamang niya kung bakit niya nagawa sa akin ang bagay na 'yon? Sumikip ang dibdib ko nang puro ring lamang ang narinig ko sa kabilang linya. He's still not answering my calls and chats since the truth was revealed to me. Kung takot ba siya o nahihiya, hindi ko alam, pero hindi ko kayang isiping totoo ang sinabi ni kuya Kreige. Na baka plano talaga nila ito para makaganti sa pamilya ko. I chewed my bottom lip as I tried to dial his number again, this time, I'm already begging God to tap him on his shoulder and make him answer my call. I just want to know his side. Kahit na maging tanga na ako sa paningin ng sarili kong pamilya. Kahit pulaan pa ako ng mga tao dahil gusto ko pa rin siyang makausap. Finally, he answered, but my hopes went down as soon as I heard his first words. "Huwag mo na akong tatawagan pa." Para akong sinaksak ng punyal sa dibdib. I can't think. I can't blink. Natulala lamang ako habang ang mga luha ay malayang dumadaloy pababa ng aking pisngi. What did he just say? I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Don't you... wanna explain? M--Makikinig naman ako--" "Tama na..." Tila namamaos ang boses niyang putol sa aking sinasabi. "Huwag ka nang tatawag pa. Magagalit si Chris. Ayaw ko na ng gulo." "Gulo?" I laughed as pain struck my heart even more. "Walang gulo kung una pa lang ay nagpakatotoo ka na!" "Enough, Lila. I don't want to talk about it anymore--" "You don't wanna talk about something you've done in the first place?! Sabihin mo na lang ang totoo! Did you purposely do all these to hurt--" Natulala na lamang ako sa screen ng cellphone ko nang patayan niya ako ng tawag. Para akong nanghina habang pilit na humahakbang palapit sa aking kama, at nang tuluyan akong napaupo sa sahig, hindi ko na napigilan ang aking pagtangis. My family opened the door by force, and as my Dad held me like a little child while the rest of my family circled around me, I cried my heart out for the very first time. Daddy sniffed and caressed my back. "You'll get through this. We're all here for you, Khalila. Daddy is here to give you everything that man can't give." Kuya Konnar drew in a sharp breath as he stared at me with cold eyes. "That's it, Lila. You're not seeing that man again. You have us. We can all become your child's father. You don't need an irresponsible man like him. This time, you need to listen to us." Nilunok ko ang namuong bara sa aking lalamunan saka ako pilit na nagsalita. "Y--Yes, kuya..." I knew, the moment I agreed to him, hindi na makikilala pa ng ama ng anak ko ang batang dinadala ko. I drew in a sharp breath and let my father shelter me in his arms. I will never let my baby know about the man who will only break our hearts with his lies... kamuhian man ako ng anak ko pagdating ng araw.