Traces of Midnight Fallacies

CHAPTER FOUR

I could feel the trail of hot tears at the edge of my eyes. Even if I wanted to stop her from doing what she was doing, I couldn't because she seemed adamant about her plan. I could see the anger in her eyes as she continued to throw my belongings out of our house.

"I don't want to see that face of yours roaming inside my house again!" my mom shouted before she threw the last luggage I owned. She looked at me with a deadly glare. "Know your place, Sabrina! We don't need you here!"

"M-Mom…"

I tried to hold her arm to calm her down, but a loud slap shook me. I was shocked by her actions, but for her, it didn't seem like a big deal for her to hurt me.

When did she think to stop hurting me? When did she think that I was just a human being and that I was also hurting?

They have physically hurt me many times. Many bruises and wounds have ruined my body. Many people have also criticized the scars on my pale skin, but instead of complaining about my parents, I do nothing but cover up for them. I know many people want to help me, but what do I do when my parents leave me?

I can't live alone. I can't stand with my own feet when I lose them.

"Your daddy is still in his meeting so I know that he can't join us in dinner today," Mom said before looking up at me and smiling a bit.

I had no idea what I was going to do now in front of her. I don’t know if I’ll be happy because she’s like this when she treats me now, or if I’ll be scared because I’m not used to this way of dealing with me. I'm happy because I have finally experienced my mother’s care for me as a real mother in front of her child. I also can't deny that I'm scared because…

What if I rely on all of this and what if, in the end, everything I see here is just an illusion?

"Are you okay, Maine?" she asked, which I was unable to answer because I was not familiar with the name she was using on me today. "Charmaine."

"I-I'm sorry, Mom," I replied to her before deciding to bid my goodbye to go to my room.

I know that it’s not the real world and I also know I shouldn’t let myself get used to its rotation. I shouldn't train myself just for something that I know is uncertain whether it will last or what.

I was scared. I have no idea how I will be able to return to reality, and even more, I don't know if I will be able to return even though I have no idea. I don’t know what I’m going to do right now. I didn’t know how to wake up and even more so, I didn’t know how to start thinking of a way to get rid of this illusion.

My eyes seemed dreamy when I decided to go straight to my bed and lie there. The lights are dimmed. The hallway was also quiet because the night was also quite deep. I knew that my uncle had also come home because I had overheard him having a conversation with my mom downstairs.

"I think your daughter is feeling bad," Mom said to the man who had just entered the kitchen. "She didn't even take her dinner."

I was afraid to look at that man's face because I was sure it was my uncle she was talking to. Until now, I still can't forgive him for what he did to me, so even here in this unusual world, I carry that resentment towards him.

I could feel the pain and blurring in my eyes the moment I opened them. I let myself get used to the light before I decided to wake up and look around me. I have no idea what dimension I am again, but I'm sure it's part of the flashback of the memory of the girl in my body now.

There are lots of people around. Almost all the people I see are busy with what they are doing. I have seen some students who are busy shopping for cosmetics. I also saw a family on the other side and they were busy talking while watching their children playing on the small playground.

I am here inside a mall, and I made my idea based on the people having fun on the side. I let myself go for a walk. I intentionally bump into some of the people to find out if they don’t even notice my presence, and I’m right. It seemed like I was just a cloud of smoke in front of them, disappearing when I collided with their bodies. I barely smiled to myself because of what I was thinking. The smile on my lips only disappeared when I heard my familiar voice coming from inside a boutique. I planned to get in there and I almost shut my eyes when I bumped into Charmaine's body, which I infiltrate into her.

I could almost breathe lightly when I infiltrated her face. I just kept myself standing at that door before I decided to follow her with the man at her side.

"I don't want this curtain, Cha," a familiar voice said.

I moved in front of them and when I saw Kevin and Charmaine together, my eyes almost widened. Charmaine was holding Kevin's arm while Kevin was irritated looking inside the paper bag he had opened.

"That's a blanket, stupid," Charmaine complained as she smiled peeking at that paper bag. "Don't you want that? Didn't you say you wanted that?"

"Yes, but not in this design, Cha," Kevin complained before removing from the paper bag the blanket the two of them were talking about.

I could feel the shock registering on my face as I stared at that thing.

Charmaine was the one who gave Kevin the blanket he always brought in class?

"Minions," he said mockingly as Charmaine laughed. "What do you think of me? A child?"

Charmaine grabbed the new towel she had gifted to Kevin. "If you don't want this, then let's bring it back inside and don't ask me for a gift."

"I'll take it!" Kevin complained before handing the towel to Charmaine, which made her burst into a laugh. "If you weren't my girlfriend, I might have strangled it with you," he said before they laughed and walked away.

I stayed in that position and was still shocked by what I found out about the two of them.

Are Kevin and the girl in my body in a relationship? How did that thing happen? If the three of them acted in front of me yesterday, it would be like they were just friends. Now that I saw Charmaine and Kevin come out when they were just the two of them together and Celeste wasn’t next to them, it finally sinks in me now. If the two of them have a relationship, why does Kevin treat me differently now?

Do I have to ask Celeste about this?

"What?" Celeste laughed when I dared to ask her.

Today is my second day in this world. I thought I would have a chance to go back to reality when I fell asleep. My self-esteem seemed to fade because as soon as I got up from lying down, I was still here. There seems to be no chance of getting out of this place.

Celeste stopped walking for a while and raised an eyebrow at me. I could see the mockery in the way she stared at me now that I hadn’t even noticed. It looks like the two of us would only argue for a long time if I even inserted that into our conversation. The reaction on her face hasn't mattered to me either since I found myself in this unusual world.

"It's been two years since you two were in a relationship before we even met, Charmaine," she shook as I nodded slowly. "Did you forget that he almost even blamed me for why you broke up with him?"

"What is the reason why I broke up with him?" I asked her.

I could see her slight grin before turning behind me. I could feel the approaching presence of someone behind me, so when I turned around behind me, I could almost lose myself when I saw who it was.

"Just ask him, Charmaine. I don't want to be involved in your old relationship anymore," Celeste said, which I ignored.

My eyes remained on Kevin, who was now smiling as he walked towards us, carrying the blanket that I had given him. He quickly wrapped it across our shoulders, which made my face blush, especially when I saw his smile on me.

"What are you two talking about? Is that about Lawrence again?" he asked with a smile on his face.

I didn't answer his question while Celeste just kept her eyebrows raised as she watched the two of us stare at each other. Her face is serious and she doesn't seem in the mood to intrigue us right now. She didn't speak, so I didn't even open up that conversation again.

As usual, we went to the building together. Celeste's seriousness didn't last long either, because when her feet stepped on the stairs, she started blabbering again and Kevin was with her.

I slowly examined Kevin's hand that was still on my shoulder. It’s not heavy, but I can feel it moving across my shoulder. I also feel the heat of his blanket that we both share aside from his arm as we walk down the pathway.

"I don't know with Charmaine. I don't think she ever baked a cupcake for Lawrence again," Celeste replied to him, causing me to turn to her again.

"What kind of cupcake does he like?" I asked.

They both turned to look at me before they looked at each other, and they looked back the second time with amusement as they stared at me.

Celeste's lip lifted at my question. "You bake him assorted cupcakes."

"With vanilla frosting inside," Kevin added before we both stopped walking because we were right across from our classroom.

I watched Celeste stop opposite us to wait for me to answer what they said. I couldn't find a word for that, so they shrugged and gave up questioning me.

"Lawrence also doesn't seem interested in your cupcakes, so let it go," Celeste instructed before turning around and going to her class just next to ours.

I felt Kevin pulling me into our room, so instead of staying outside, I just followed him. As soon as I entered the front of the class, I saw Lawrence watching us. Instead of staring back at him, I pouted my lips before deciding to head to my seat. Even now that I am sitting in my chair, I can still feel his sharp gaze. It gives me a strange feeling.

Why do I feel nervous every time he stares at me?

Is he a bad person?

"Celeste seems right," Kevin said to my side, so I turned to him. He smiled sweetly at me. "Lawrence just doesn't seem to care about all the gifts you're presenting to him. I saw him earlier in the locker room. I haven't seen all the love letters you drop in there."

"Love letters?"

He nodded before raising an eyebrow at me. "You don't remember that?" I shook my head as he sighed. "Ever since the two of us broke up, you've always been dropping a love letter in his locker. It's just funny to think that all the things I'm used to doing with you before… you're already doing that to others," he joked, as if it made sense. "I just feel bad because he doesn't seem to appreciate everything you're giving him right now."

I turned again in Lawrence's direction and when I saw him crouching at the desk and writing in the book he was holding, I just let myself look at his face first. He looked serious about what he was doing, far away from the face that I had seen in my dream.

He doesn’t appreciate everything I give?

Why was he smiling so wide when he looked at the cupcake that Charmaine had brought him recently? I even saw him laugh a bit. He seemed pleased that Charmaine was very eager to chase him.

Lawrence slowly lifted his face in my direction. It was too late when I realized that the two of us looked at each other. I could do nothing but avoid looking at him and look back at Kevin.

Whatever the reason for my breakup with him, maybe I should reconsider my feelings for him, right? Because that's how it really should be.

I have no idea why I am here, but there is only one thing I can be sure of. I had to avoid Lawrence and live normally like a simple student.