We Broke Up

18 - Step 6

Step 6: "Do you - Use the breakup as an opportunity to strike out on your own in the world, and you can discover new hobbies and interests that can make you feel better and more confident about yourself."

I was gasping for breath when we were both finally in the car after suddenly and unaccountably half-sprinting there. Jay quickly turned the engine on and revved away just as I saw Martin, panting and still holding the bouquet of flowers that he meant to give me.

Not that I cared so much for the good doctor or the flowers but seeing poor Martin standing there completely clueless on why we suddenly ran off after Jay called "Hotdog" somehow made me feel sorry for him. I wondered what he could be thinking. He must have thought that Jay and I were sort of a thing for him to have the audacity to do that. He must have thought me rude to just run out without sparing him a second look or he could just have thought that we were THAT hungry. Hopefully. I felt like I needed to explain to him somehow but ... Heck! I don't even know what's going on.

I looked at Jay who had his eyes focused on the road as he drove as fast as he could to get as far away from Martin as possible like he was the plague.

I waited until our office building was out of sight and the traffic cleared so he was not too distracted to talk before I spoke.

"So... Can you tell me why you yelled hotdog and why we had to leave in such a hurry? Hindi man lang ako nakapag-explain kay Martin."

He glanced at me once then focused back on the road. I heard him sigh before answering. "Hindi mo kailangan magpaliwanag sa kanya. Hindi ka dapat magtagal kahit isang segundo kasama yung lalaki na yun." He said in a very stern tone. He gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white as his face turned red, his jaw clenched and a furious vein bumped on his forehead. He looked really pissed and whatever he saw on Martin could be something very serious for him to be that angry.

"Jay..." I called softly and reached out to touch his arm. "There's a tea house in the next building. Dun tayo."

He drove to the place in silence and parked the car in front. And as the engine died down, I heard him release a deep sigh. I smiled at him as my hand involuntarily glided up to his shoulder like it had a mind of its own.

He drew a deep breath and leaned his cheek to the back of my hand, closing his eyes like he just found some comfort. I turned my hand up so that my palm touched his face. It felt warm and soft.

He turned towards me and when I felt his lips on my palm, I quickly pulled my hand back like I was electrocuted. I hurriedly got out of the car and marched inside the tea house while Jay rushed after me. My head was spinning with all that has happened in the past hour from Francesca's call, to meeting Martin, to Jay kissing my hand.

Yes. He kissed my hand. It was light but unmistakable. I didn't know why he did that. I didn't know why I touched him in the first place.

I wasn't thinking. I know. I acted on pure instinct, a constant desire to feel his skin and his warmth like a moth to a flame. I swear I've never felt like that for anyone before, not even Fred. I wondered if Jay felt the same way and if he did, how would that affect our friendship? Complicated as it already was.

I went straight to the counter and ordered Oolong tea for me and Earl Grey for him. After getting our orders, I sat by the corner of the shop at a tea table with two red plush chairs. Jay quietly sat opposite me. I didn't have to look up to know that he was staring because the weight of his stare pressed on my entire body as I read a message on my phone. It was Francesca telling me that Martin called and asking me what happened. I still didn't know what to tell her then so I put my phone in my purse and looked up to meet Jay's gaze. 

"That was Francesca asking me what happened kaso kahit ako I don't know what happened." I said with my eyes glued on him. "So... What happened, Jay?"

He didn't answer right away. He stared at me in silence for a while as his hand slid on top of the table towards mine, stopping just as the tips of his fingers touched mine. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "Nabigla ako. I shouldn't..." He sighed. "Hindi kita dapat hinalikan... yung kamay mo." He said and looked away. "Kaibigan kita, oo, pero boss pa rin kita. Mali yun." I think he was talking more to himself than to me. "Hindi ko lang talaga napigilan. Ewan ko ba... Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito ako pagdating sa'yo."

We have the same dilemma, Jay. Same. 

"Uhm... Don't worry about it, Jay. You're right. We're friends. Wala na yun. I wasn't asking about that naman. I was asking about what happened to Martin." I told him.

"Siya pa rin pala ang pinaguusapan. Wala lang pala yung sa atin." He spoke sullenly.

"Jay, that's not what I meant. It's just that..." 

"Wala akong tiwala sa kaniya." He cut in. "Sabi mo basahin ko siya bilang lalaki. Bilang lalake, nakita ko na agad na walang magandang balak yun sa'yo." He explained. 

"Talaga? Why?"

"Mahirap ipaliwanag pero... Ikaw ba, Naveah? Komportable ka ba sa tingin niya sa'yo?" He asked.

"Well... Honestly, when he stared at my chest longer than he looked at my face, I sort of wanted to call hotdog na." I chuckled.

"You should have." He sighed. "Kasi muntik na akong makasapak ng doctor nung makita ko kung paano niya hagurin ng tingin yang likod mo, may pakagat labi pa at ngisi. Tapos..."

"Tapos?" 

"Hindi ko sinasadya pero nasilip ko yung text niya sa kaibigan niya." 

"What text?" 

"Ang sabi: Sorry, Dude. I will be busy scoring with my biggest crush tonight." He stated coldly as he looked directly into my eyes. 

"Oh my god." I gasped. 

"Hindi ako conyo pero alam ko ang ibig sabihin nun." He said.

"What a douche! Hindi lang pala hotdog, bulok na hotdog pala dapat ang sinigaw natin dun. Kapal! Isusumbong ko talaga yun kay Ate Ches." I frowned.

"Anong footlong? Mukhang Cebu chorizo lang yun eh." He rolled his eyes and I laughed. 

I placed my hand on his and smiled as I looked into each other's eyes. "Thank you, Jay. Buti na lang talaga sinama kita." 

"Walang anuman." He smiled back. "Salamat sa tiwala." 

"Jay?" 

"Hmmm?" 

"Hindi tayo wala lang ha?" I told him and I saw his eyes spark up. "Magkaibigan tayo. I appreciate  you." I said and the spark that I saw faded.

He nodded his head and sighed. "Magkaibigan tayo." 

Just then, our orders arrived and I texted Ate Ches. I explained what happened and a furious best friend called me then apologized for setting up the date in the first place. 

"Sorry, Naeve. I really didn't expect that from him. Mabait naman siya, I just didn't know he was a perv." She said.

"It's not your fault, Ate Ches. Buti na lang andito si Jay." 

"Buti na lang talaga. That was a smart move. Please thank Jay for me. Sorry ulit." 

"I'll tell him. Please stop apologizing, Ate." I then mouthed "Thank you daw" to Jay. 

"Don't worry, Naevey. We'll make sure to run a full background and relationship history check on the next guy." 

"Ate Ches, I don't think that's a good idea." I sighed and shook my head. "Wag na muna. Sabi ko naman before di ba? I want to focus on me first. Let me do that. Yun na muna. Ako muna. Let me get to know myself better first bago niyo ako ipakilala sa iba." 

"I understand." She said. 

We spoke for a few more minutes and set a date to bond with the girls before my next trip then hang up. Jay watched me the whole way and kept looking at me even after the call. 

"Kung may itatanong ka, itanong mo na." I told him. "I can't read minds, Jay." 

He chuckled and shook his head. "Wala. Wala naman akong tanong." He said.

"Ano lang?" I asked.

"Gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa tiwala at sabihin sa iyo na, gusto kong samahan ka sa pagkilala sa totoong Naveah Montefrio He smiled softly and looked into my eyes. "Hihintayin kita." 

"Thank you, Jay. Gusto rin kitang mas makilala pa." I smiled back. But wait. What did he mean by 'Hihintayin kita.'