My stories. ( Compilation)

I don't deserve to be loved.

"J-jasper p-please"

"No! Bitawan mo 'ko! Hindi na kita mahal Jasmin!"

"D-don't leave me please"

"Hayaan mo 'ko! Hindi na nga kita mahal! Ayoko na!"

Then He left me alone in the dark road.

I was so feel alone that time. Crying.

I want to shout all my pain but I just keep it even if it's hurts.

"I don't deserve to be loved" I uttered in my self.

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"You're such a stupid! Wala kang kwenta! Kung alam ko lang na magiging pabigat ka sa'ken, sana hindi na lang kita iniluwal dito sa mundo!" galit na sigaw sa akin ni mama.

Nananatili lamang akong tahimik habang nagbibitaw sila ng masasakit na salita.

Nagagalit sila kasi I can't reach their expectations.

Sorry Ma, ganyan lang talaga ang kaya ko.

Sana nga, sana 'di mo nalang ako ipinanganak dito.

And again,

"I don't deserve to be loved"

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"D-dad please stop. M-maawa ka sa'kin" pagmamakaawa ko sa aking ama habang patuloy na hinahalikan ang leeg ko.

Hindi ako makapalag. 

Hawak niya ako.

Hindi 'ko mailabas lahat ng lakas ko.

He abused me.

He r***d me.

I was r***d by my own Father.

And again,

"I don't deserve to be loved"

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"Disgrasyada!" isang malakas na sampal ang aking natamo mula kay mama.

Hindi niya alam kung anong kahayupan ang ginawa ng kanyang asawa sa akin kaya ako nagdalang-tao.

Nanatili na naman akong tahimik at hinayaan na lamang na pumatak ang aking mga luha.

And again,

"I don't deserve to be loved"

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"Yak, malandi kasi, yan tuloy napala HAHA"

Patuloy lamang akong naglalakad habang pinaguusapan ng aming mga kapitbahay.

Pati na ang mga kaibigan ko ay nilayuan ako at pinandidirian.

And again,

"I don't deserve to be loved"

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I locked my door.

Crying alone.

I want to end this bullshit life!

Let me end this f*****g life!

Let me sleep Lord! Forever.

I can't handle it by myself.

I want to die.

I stepped my feet up in the chair.

I hold a rope.

I let my tears flowing down to my cheeks.

I wear the rope in my neck.

Finally, I can rest now.

Before I kicked the chair,

I just uttered in myself,

"I dont deserved to be loved"

It's the end, end of my journey. I want this.

And then,

I let myself hanging in my room.

Because, I DON'T DESERVED TO BE LOVED.