The Childhood Dream

Chapter 13

In life, we are bound to meet unexpected people in an unexpected situations. We think that by escaping and hiding from them was the solution but, it always the other way around.

Building our courage to face them is the strongest thing we can ever done. Imagine being hurt by that person, being betrayed, but still manage to talk to them?

I really admire how brave they are because I always run away, I always hide from them. I don't want them to see me how devastated I am. That's why it took me a lot of days, months and even years to agree to meet them.

Well, actually, hahabulin ko muna sila sa una para magmakaawa and do a lot of things to win them back. But, when I finally realize my worth, that's the time for me to move forward, hide and escape from them because if ever I see them again, I'm afraid na masira ako ulit.

I looked at this man's face once again. He looks so happy, finally moved on. He is much better than before and I am proud for what he have done.

"Staring at my face again?" teasing me.

"Yeah," natatawang sagot ko, "I have come to realized na sobrang laki ng pinagbago mo, as in hindi ko in-expect na magiging ganito ka ngayon!" manghang-manghang sinabi ko, natawa naman siya. Siguro iniisip nito na nababaliw na ako.

"Ikaw din naman!" sambit nito sa akin.

"By the way, paano mo nalaman na nandoon ako?" curious na tanong ko.

My friends never knew that I had one relationship before Kiel, they always knew that Kiel was the first one.

Hindi ko alam kung paano niya ako nahanap dahil nawala nga siya dito for 4 years at ngayon lang ulit bumalik kaya sure ako na wala siyang mga kaibigan dito.

"Nag-transfer ako sa St. Jude noong 2nd Sem, that was November. Lagi kitang inaabangan sa jeep terminal kahit na sinusundo ako ni Kuya, naiintindihan naman niya ako since ang tagal na nating hindi nagkita. Ta-"

"Wait, from monday to friday naghihintay ka doon?"

Kung lagi siyang naghihintay doon, edi ginagabi na rin umuwi? Kasi usually mga 6 pm na kami nakakauwi dahil sa gala namin.

"Yes tapos nagbakasakali ako na baka may practice or gala kayo, yung mga classmate ko rin eh may mga kakilala sa Notre kaya ayon, nakinig ako tapos andito ako!" tuwang-tuwa siya sa pagkukwento niya.

Napaka-persitent and consistent talaga ng taong ito and that was the only thing that never changed in him. I knew, I knew it because he was liked that back then, too.

"So, what is the real deal here?" tanong ko sa kaniya, sa tagal niyang naghihintay imposible namang closure lang.

Sumeryoso ang itsura niya, ako naman ay kinabahan. If he asks me to take him back, I won't. We can just be friends though.

"Let's start over again." Sagot nito.

Sabi na nga ba, alam na alam ko na ang mga ganito dahil sa mga napapanood kong teleserye sa tv maging sa cellphone.

Pagkatapos na sabihin yung ganoon, tatanggapin ng babae tapos magiging sila ulit, tapos magkakaroon na naman ng another reason for break-up, pagkatapos ay hiwalayan na naman hanggang sa hindi na sila magkatuluyan.

Basang-basa ko na ang mga ganitong sitwasyon, hindi ko lang inaasahan na mapupunta rin ako sa ganitong sitwasyon.

"Ah what?" natatawang tanong ko sa kaniya, kumunot naman ang noo nito.

"From friends, of course. I want to take this seriously and I am really into you. For the past 4 years, you're all the one I'm thinking." seryosong sinagot nito.

I would love to but I am afraid that we can't continue our love story that ended 4 years ago.

Jeez, I can make another mistake but not doing the same mistake again. No, never!

"I am happy that we finally have the chance to talk to each other. I want to take this chance also to ask you for this." Dugtong niya.

"I am also happy and greatful that we've talked, sobrang tagal din nang huli tayong nag-usap.You've caused me so much pain and I have finally moved on. I am not ready, I can only accept you as a friend, then we will see." naka-ngiti kong sinabi sa kaniya, ngumiti din siya sa akin.

Funny how earlier ay kakatapos ko lang kay Kiel, eto na naman ako. Parang ang right timing lang ng lahat.

Lord really knows when to give me hope and when to give up.

Oh, well. Marupok!

Masyado na naman akong napapa-focus sa ganito imbes na unahin ang dapat kong unahin.

I can say that this man in front of me is a blessing in disguise and I can't change the fact that he saved me from being miserable again.

"So, nagkaroon ka ba ng iba?" nagulat ako sa biglang tanong niya iyon. "I guess meron nga!" natatawang sinagot niya sa tanong niya dahil sa reaction ko.

"Don't you think na kilalang-kilala mo pa rin ako ha!" kunyareng inis kong sinabi sa kaniya.

"Tell me the story!" intriga niya sa akin.

Umayos ako ng upo, pinaglalaruan ang bote sa lamesa. May mga pagkain pa rin kami dito at hindi pa na nabubuksan.

"We met 3 years ago, a year after what happened to us. His name is Kiel. He is showing signs that he likes me and then he confess. A year after, I confessed too. That's keep going until now." Panimula ko.

Hindi ko na ikukwento iyong mga naging sweet moments and such namin dahil hindi na iyon mahalaga pa, so much for the details too!

"Yesterday, uwian. This girl came up to me and said that Kiel likes another girl, I ignored what she said because I already feel it. Girl's intinct. Then, sa jeep terminal habang nakapila, We saw him and that Girl. Funny how those two fool me, being lovey-dovey in public."

"Earlier, nagkita kami ulit sa jeep. He acted like nothing happened, he keeps on talking nonsense. Then, I told him that we need to stop this but, he asked for another chance. I didn't give him my answer because he said that I can take my time thinking for the right answer."

"So, until lunch break we were together. After lunch break, there's this sudden event inside SM, we've lost each other and even my friends. I met this girl again, saying she and Kiel will meet. Kaya ayon, iniwan namin si Kiel sa SM. Ginugulo niya mga kaibigan ko ngayon para makausap ako pero ayoko na."

Mahabang kwento ko sa kaniya. Hindi muna siya sumagot, siguro ay ina-absorb ang mga kinwento ko.

"Who's this girl? What's her role to Kiel's life aside from being that girl he likes?" tanong niya sa akin, na-pick up ang lahat ng information na sinabi ko.

"She's Penelope, his childhood friend." Sagot ko sa kaniya.

Muli siyang natahimik. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isipin niya. He's always into my story whenever I shared it to him.

"Lapitin ka ng cheater no?" natatawang sinambit nito sa akin, sinamaan ko lang siya ng tingin.

"Kidding aside, hindi na ako cheater." pagka-klaro nito na tinawanan ko lang.

"Inaway mo yung girl?" tanong niya, alam niyang hindi ako pala-away.

Sa tuwing may nakakaalitan ako, laging siya ang sumasagot para sa akin. Ayos na raw na siya ang masama kaysa sa ako. I need to build my image raw as a model student.

"Nope, hindi kasalanan ng babae. Sure ako na hindi magiging ganoon si Penelope kung hindi in-entertain ni Kiel or kung hindi siya nagpakita ng sign na gusto niya si Penelope. I can't blame them, though. Maybe I was just a chapter to his life that he needs to pass through and all along, it was really Penelope who will be there to complete the book." Mahabang sagot ko sa kaniya.

I finally let it out. I don't have to keep it in and I find this guy who will listen to all my stories and non-sense talk.

He hold my hand and looked at me. I finally saw the sincerity that I can't find to Kiel. He looks different, much more different that I am ready to get hurt for him. That I am willing to ruin my life once again for him.

Just earlier, I was saying that I will not commit the same mistake again pero heto ngayon, dahil sa sincerity na iyon, handa na naman akong sumugal sa kaniya.

"Well, then. I won't hurt you like I did 4 years ago and like he did. I promise you that I'll be better for you." naka-ngiti nitong sinabi, napa-ngiti din ako.

No, I won't let you hurt me again and I won't let myself be blinded by flowery words that will fade in no time.

No matter how much you mean to me, no matter what gesture you show and touched my heart, I will never commit it again. I will never ever be blinded by all these thoughts that came rushing through my mind.

I meant, I am glad for that. For everything. However, you may be both a different person but, the two of you made me feel broken, empty, and loneliness. I don't want to feel that again.

"Oi, Love birds!" napa-tingin ako doon sa nagsalita. Kami lang naman ang tao sa loob maliban sa nasa cashier.

Kuya Ralph!