Quarter-life Crisis
2422 Words
I woke up the Sunday after Seb’s celebration with a massive headache. Di ko alam pano ako nakauwi and how I got to my room but here I was tucked in bed, in last night’s clothes. Amoy yosi pa buhok at damit ko. Ugh, amoy yosi na rin kama ko and pillows ko. Kakapalit ko pa naman lang ng sheets. Kainis naman.
On my side table, there were two capsules of Ibuprofen and an unopened bottle of blue Gatorade na pinagpapawisan pa. When I touched it, malamig pa. Now I’m more confused. Baka si Val ang naghatid sakin pauwi, hence the Ibuprofen capsules. But she doesn’t know about my fixation with Gatorade as part of my hangover cure. How did I get home? What time did I get home? Bakit malamig pa yung Gatorade, mag e-eleven na ng umaga? So many questions but the answers are so few!
I walked out of the bathroom with a towel around my hair and a toothbrush in my mouth. I made a beeline to my purse and found my phone. My eyes widened: 22 missed calls: 8 from Val, 5 from Jaxx, 4 from Ace, 2 from Seb, 2 from Chino, 1 from an unknown number. And about a hundred messages from the 5 people, a few from my dad, and there were two from the unknown number. How very strange indeed!
More than 80% ng messages contained various words na, in essence, hinahanap ako. Of course may mga mura din akong natanggap, but I would like to think na minura nila ako out of concern. Most of these messages and calls were sent at between 2 and 2:20 AM. In the last few messages, I think I was home safe na kasi huminahon na ang mga concerned citizens at nag go-goodnight na sila. Some of them wished me well, except sa dalawa – si Seb and Val – who wished the wrath of the gods upon me and cursed me with the worst hangover.
* Migs Sebby
Sent: 2:53 am
“I guess I won’t be having a hangover tomorrow kasi hindi na ako lasing. NO thanks to you.”
* Migs Sebby
Sent: 2:53 am
“Tang ina, sana sa sama ng hangover mo, next week ka na makabangon!”
* Val
Sent 2:56 am
“I’m going to kill you! You best wish I don’t get a hangover otherwise you’re dead!”
* Val
Sent 2:56 am
“Alam mo ba pinaggagagawa mo, ha?! Good luck as Dad mo!”
* Ace
Sent 3:00 am
“Tonight, you were epic!”
* Ace
Sent 3:00 am
“Epic fail! Hahahahaha!!”
* Migs Sebby
Sent 3:01 am
“Ita-tag ko tatay mo sa lahat ng pictures nyo ni Jaxx at Fratboy!”
Unknown number
Sent 3:05 am
“Hey, I hope you’re home safe. Sana din your hangover won’t be as bad as your pick-up lines ;)”
Unknown number
Sent 3:05 am
“This is Quino, btw. Aka Fratboy :)”
* Jaxx J
Sent 3:10 am
“You need to learn to hold your drink”
Napasimangot ako sa text ni Jaxx. He always had something to say. Hindi na lang nag “Goodnight”.
Agad-agad ko binuksan ang f*******: and i********: accounts ko. Seb already posted an album of the events last night sa account ng Green Skrambol with the caption: Quarter life crisis management. He tagged all of us and gave special shouts out to the college kids, Camachile Sky, and Rachel, the bartender.
Ugh. I hate her.
It had already garnered 2, 688 reactions in under 2 hours, not counting the likes and hearts and whatever reactions ng individual photo and video. I opened the album and there were so many photos that it took a while to download. I decided to just get back to it later and checked i********: instead. Pare-pareho lang naman ang mga pinost niya. There were pictures of them jamming, of Jaxx drinking his beer hands-free, of him and that pretty bartender wiping his chin.
Ugh! I hate her!
The pictures were safe for public consumption so I wonder what he and Val are talking about. I plugged my phone to the charger and carelessly dropped it on the bed. I went back to the bathroom and finished brushing my teeth. Again, I browsed through my messages while combing my hair. I checked Viber, w******p, and sss messenger. And there they were, the solid confirmation of my indiscretion.
Seb sent me about 15 pictures of me and Jaxx, half of them nasa Camachile Sky, may iba sa car ni Jaxx, and the last 3 sa bahay, with my Dad. Val sent me more photos with descriptions. I checked Seb’s photos first.
The first was of us standing very close to each other with me holding Jaxx’s face in my two hands while he was looking at me with an amused smile. His hands were behind him, holding his drumsticks. The next was of us in a similar position but now his hands were on my hips, the sticks tucked in his back pocket. My eyes were closed and my head rested on his shoulder, and my right hand was on his chest. Jaxx was laughing and his head was tilted back a little. He looked devastatingly hot. In the background, nandun si Adidas boy at Other girl na tumatawa din.
I browsed through the rest and stopped at a picture that was of me and Fratboy and we seemed to be waltzing. He was smiling and now, ako naman yung tawang-tawa, probably sa kung ano man yung sinabi nya. That boy is really a charmer. Too bad he was too young to get with for my taste.
The photos in the car were just of me na naka nganga: yung isa andun si Seb and Chino making faces, the other one si Ace was putting my seatbelt on. Mukhang wasted din si Ace, and the last was ako lang na naka nganga. It was so unglamorous, but leave it to Seb to immortalize those moments.
Ang huling picture ay nasa bahay na kami, and my Dad was there in a white shirt and gym shorts and halatang kakabangon nya lang. He had a cup in hand and a “you better have a good reason for this” look on his face. And there I was, naka piggyback kay Jaxx.
Baka mapatay talaga ako ng tatay ko. Pero papatayin ko muna si Seb bago ako mamayapa. Otherwise, mumultuhin ko sya hanggang mamatay sya. f*****g traitor!
--
The aroma of grilled meat greeted me when I came down from my room. My stomach grumbled and my mouth salivated. I was about to take my seat on the dining table when I heard my Dad clear his throat from the sala. Andun pala siya nanunood ng TV, di ko man lang napansin. Dammit.
“Good morning dad.” Giving him a sheepish grin.
“Morning pa ba tawag mo sa alas-dose?” he glared at me.
“Sorry I got home late, we lost track of time last night.” I made my way to the sofa where he was sitting and took the seat beside him.
“We? Your friends were all okay last night. Kahit si Miguel who happened to be the celebrant. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for you.”
“I know. Seb – Miguel—sent me a picture nung hinatid nila ako dito na bitbit ako ni Jaxx. Why were you up anyway?” I asked, trying to change the topic.
“Why was I up? Why was I up?? You don’t remember calling me at all?” he asked me disbelievingly.
“Ha? I called you? Bakit daw?”
“Bakit daw?”? Cara ok lang lang ba? Tanga ka ba? –oo, tanga ka, but that’s beside the point right now. Ikaw yung tumawag, bakit mo tinatanong dad mo na parang 3rd person point of view?
I wanted to facepalm myself in real life.
I was embarrassed and I was really unsure what to think anymore. He continued to look at me for a few more seconds and began to chortle, which then evolved to a hearty laugh.
“Di mo talaga maalala?”
I shook my head.
“Scarlet Yvonne Claraval, how much did you drink last night?” Oh no, complete name na!
“You don’t want to know, dad, trust me.” I groaned and ran a hand over my face. I rested my head on my hand and placed my elbow on the sofa’s armrest. We both sighed. After a little while, he spoke.
“Anyway, you called crying, saying that you’re lost, and you can’t find your way home. The only reason why I did not lose my head and go on a killing spree last night, or why I am not losing it right now, is that Benedict found you in the middle of your hysteria, took your phone and spoke to me. They found you leaning against your car, umiiyak kasi hindi mo raw mabuksan.” He chuckled a bit at this.
“Look, alam kong matanda ka na and that you have a right to spend your life how you wish, but be responsible naman! Maswerte ka lang nahanap ka kaagad ng mga kaibigan mo. What if ibang tao nakakita sayo at may masamang nangyari? Di mo ba naisip yon? What you did was dangerous!” he was now angry at my recklessness. Well, that escalated quickly.
“I know Dad. I’m really sorry.” Just then, my stomach grumbled loudly and nayanig yung utak ko, parang intensity 6 sa Richter scale.
“We’re not finished with this. Kain muna tayo.” He stood up and I followed suit.
After lunch, we talked about my future plans. I assured him that I was going to apply as a surgical resident when the programs open. He was still trying to convince me to take up Orthopedics or Anesthesiology, para may sumunod sa practice nila ni Mommy. While it was a tempting offer, I had my reasons why I decided against those two specialties.
“One, I don’t like to see bones sticking out of places where there shouldn’t be. Two, fractures look so painful baka mauna pa akong himatayin kesa sa patient. I remember a guy brought to the ER, vehicular accident, then his leg was deformed, tapos nakalabas yung spike ng tibia niya thru the skin. Eeew! Dad, I swear muntik na ako himatayin sa sakit! Hindi ko sya malagyan ng line ksi I could not move.” I laughed recalling that incident.
“That’s just during residency. You can opt not to see those kinds of patients when you’re a consultant na. Choose a quiet subspecialty, like Pediatrics, or Joints. Or Spine!” I rolled my eyes. Dad was a Spine surgeon, though he still took trauma cases when he was on-call.
“Dad, trauma is the bread and butter of ortho. Tigilan nyo ako, pwede ba. Yan lagi sinasabi ng mga residents and consultants ng ortho when I was rotating there. Look at you, you still do trauma cases kahit na hindi yun ang subspecialty nyo. If it’s any consolation, magaling ako mag splint and cast. Pwede ko pa rin kayong tulungan when you’re old.” I joked and he laughed. The corners of his eyes crinkled and that made my heart swell.
“I’ll let your mom do the anesthesiology pitch with you next time.” When he was about to say something else, his phone rang.
It was the Orthopedic resident on duty referring a patient to him. He looked at me and placed the phone on speaker. I listened to the resident stammering as he dictated the history, physical examination, and the x-ray findings. My dad mouthed that the resident was a second year. I observed my dad grill the poor guy, telling him what he missed, what he should have said or done, and what he needed to prepare for the emergency procedure.
After he put the phone down he looked at me and asked, “Ready ka na ba sa ganyan? Mind you, mabait pa ako. Mababait ang ortho, in general.”
“Sus, if I know, you were holding back para lang masabi na mabait ka. At saka, ganyan naman talaga pag residency diba? Nambu-bully mga consultants. So I guess, yes, I’m gonna be ok.”
“What? Hindi nang bubully ang consultants. We teach you things the way we think you will retain them in your hard heads. Kasi lagi kayong di na nagbabasa. Opera lang ng opera walang basic principles, kahit anatomy kinakalimutan. Though meron talagang ibang magpa-power trip. Anyway, I need to get changed. I have to call your mom pa.” He stood up and stretched.
“By the way dad, who got me the Gatorade?”
“Ako.”
“Aww, thanks, dad. I needed that.” I stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist.
“You’re welcome. Benedict told me you’d look for one when you woke up. Sabi nya pa nga ‘she prefers blue over any other color, but anything should be fine’.”
I stiffened when I heard this, and nanlaki mga mata ko. My heart beat a hundred times faster.
Ginawa iyon ni Jaxx? Bakit niya naman sinabi sa Dad ko yun?
Mabuti na lang hindi kita ni Dad mukha ko kasi hanggang baba nya lang ako. And mabuti na din na I was hugging my dad because I felt my knees get a bit wobbly. But I think he felt everything.
“I’m glad you found good friends Cara, especially that Benedict.” He hugged me back and kissed the top of my head with a loud smack bago niya ako binitawan. “You know I wouldn’t be opposed if you guys get together, diba?”
Tumawa ako ng malakas, like it was the silliest notion ever, like it was ever going to happen in this lifetime.
But yeah, me too, Dad, me too.
~*~*~*~*~
- Writer
