Twisted Affection

TWENTY-EIGHT

Warning/ R-18

No matter how much I convince myself not to be affected, my feelings only grow stronger. For three years without seeing him, I thought I was just scared that he would take my children away, but no. I'm scared of my own feelings for him because even now, my heart is still the same, still beating for him. It's far from what I felt with Zaiden.

To be honest, Zaiden was a challenge for me because I was the one chasing him. I fell in love with him because of what he did for me in the past. He protected me like he was my shining armor, which is why I was so eager to know him. In the process, I became obsessed with catching his attention. I didn't know that the night with Zairon would leave me feeling confused.

May kaibahan kaya naguguluhan na ako pero dahil hindi pumasok sa aking isip na may kambal ang Professor, akala ko talaga ay mas lalo lamang dumagdag ang nararamdaman ko.

Because that night, I felt that he wasn't using me. He wanted me to understand that I should value myself and my body, just like he did. It took me years to realize all of this. Maybe that's why, my feelings changed.

When I heard that he got a girlfriend three years ago, I took it to heart but I let it be, especially when I found out more about him. I didn't do anything because I was pushing him away.

I've realized that obsession and love are different, and I know that what I'm feeling for him now is genuine. However, I'm hurting because someone is about to take him away from me. It's all my fault. Lagi ko siyang tinataboy dahil hindi ko magawang tanggapin sa sarili kong may nararamdaman na ako sa kaniya.

Bumibigat ang dibdib ko habang naglalakad ako sa loob ng Mansiyon at kada hakbang ko ay pumapasok ang mga negative scenario sa utak ko.

Inisa isa ko ang mga kwarto ng Mansiyon at mabuti na lang ay walang tao sa loob maliban sa akin until I reach a room where my heart almost stops. Hindi na ako nagdadalawang isip pang buksan ang pinto kahit na alam kong may makikita akong hindi ko magustuhan.

I froze when I saw the woman on top of him only wearing underwear while Zairon was closing his eyes but I saw how his hand was pushing the woman to get away from him.

“I know you want this too, doctor. I'll make sure that you enjoy our night.” Malanding saad ng babae.

Huminga ako ng malalim at humakbang palapit sa kanila. Galit lamang ang nararamdaman ko ngayon at kung tama ako ng hinala, Ininom niya ang drugs na iyon. Drugs kung saan ay init ng katawan lamang ang nararamdaman niya at ayokong i take advantage lang ng babaeng ‘to si Zairon.

I know I messed up back then but I realized my mistake and when I face someone who did like what I did years ago, I feel how it truly hurts when the man you want is being pulled away by someone else.

He was about to kiss him when I found myself grabbing her hair and throwing her on the floor. Nagulat ito sa ginawa ko at tiningnan akong nanlalaki ang mata. “W-what.. who are you?!”

Ngumisi ako. “Me? I'm the girl who will put you in your place. Napagdaanan ko na ‘yang ginawa mo kaya huwag mo akong hahamunin.”

The woman scrambled to her feet. Gulat at pagkapahiya ang nakarehistro sa kaniyang mukha. "You have no right to do that!" she shouted, pointing an accusing finger at me.

I laughed and the sound was bitter. "Oh, I have every right," I retorted. "And I won't let you or anyone touch him."

She laughed with a harsh mocking sound. "And you think you can stop me? Pareho ka lang naman rin sa ibang babae, pinagsasaan lang siya!"

Tumawa ako ng peke at nginisian siya. "Hindi mo sure?"

I turned to Zairon, who was still lying on the bed, his eyes half-open. "Zairon, are you okay?" I asked.

He tried to sit up, but his movements were sluggish. "Laurene?" he mumbled, looking at me with confusion in his eyes.

"Yes, it's me," I said, reaching out to help him.

“Who are you? Why are you touching him?!”

I glared at the woman. “Titigil ka o ako mismo ang magpapatahimik sayo? Gusto mo bang putulin ko ang dila mo at ipakain sa aso? Don't ever come to Zairon again kung ayaw mong isumbong kita!”

Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin. “You don't know me!”

Ngumisi ako at hinarap siya.”I've done a bit of research on you, Derinza Bridget Salchez. You target most of the wealthy men at the university, including two of the professors there. You probably know that Dr. Gavilan is wealthy, which is why you planned to seduce and drug him. Is that enough to know you?" Halukipkip kong sagot.

Gulat na gulat siya sa sinabi ko at hindi na makapagsalita. “If you ask me why I know it, sanay na akong mang stalk ng mga taong interesting sa paningin ko at interesado ako sayo simula ng buntot ng buntot ka kay Zairon. Kung ayaw mong ikalat ko ang nalalaman ko, umalis ka na sa harap ko.”

When I saw her talking to Zairon in the parking lot, nagresearch agad ako sa kaniya at hindi ko naman alam na ganito siya ka gold digger. I'm just curious but at the same time, I dig deeper into her background para gamitin sa kaniya.

"She's right, you have no business here. Please leave," sabat ni Zairon.

I was shocked when I heard Zairon behind me. Wait, how can he manage to act as if nothing happened?

Umalis ang babae nang mabilis habang ako ay napalingon kay Zairon na ngayon ay makatingin rin sa akin.

“How?”

Wala siyang reaksiyon pero nagsalita pa rin siya. “What?”

“Did you drink what she gave to you earlier?”

“Yes.” Walang pag alinlangan niyang sagot.

“Then, how did you manage to act like nothing’s wrong with you?”

“You saw it?” Marahan akong napatango.

“Did you feel something? You got drugs, Zairon.. that's–” he managed a small smile when he saw how worried I was.

“The drug is still on my system now, Laurene but I managed to control myself because I'm used to drinking such drugs.”

Hindi ako mapaniwala sa sinagot niya. “Many women drugged you back then?”

Mapait siyang ngumiti. “No, my grandpa did that in the past. He wanted me to sleep with the different women he always introduced to me, but I managed not to even touch them," Nakita kong napapikit siya ng mata at namumula na rin ang mukha niya. The drugs are consuming his body.

“But this will be my first time to touch someone if you won't leave me alone, Laurene.” Nahihirapan niyang dagdag nang bumukas ang kaniyang mata at lumayo na lamang sa akin.

I watched as he stumbled away, the drug clearly taking effect. My heart clenched at the sight.

"Zairon," I called out, rushing to his side. He flinched away from me but I didn't let him. I gently took his arm and guided him to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"You should leave," his voice strained.

"No, I'm not leaving you like this," I said firmly.

He gave me a weak smile. "You're stubborn," he said with barely a whisper.

"And you're foolish," I retorted, trying to lighten the mood. But my heart was heavy.

I looked at him, and really looked at him. His face was pale and his eyes glazed over. But underneath all that, I saw the man I've been denying my feelings for. The man who, despite everything, I cared for more than I could put into words.

“I just want you to leave, Laurene. Hindi mo lang alam kung.. paano ako nagpipigil na huwag kang galawin ngayon. Huwag mo na akong pahirapan pa.”

I bite my lower lip and touch his cheek habang nakaupo ako sa gilid niya. Para siyang napaso nang maramdaman niya ang kamay ko. Lumayo siya agad at umiling.

“Please.. ayokong magalit ka na naman sa’kin. Ayokong pagtabuyan mo na naman ako.”

My heart aches at the sight. He was suffering, but he was still thinking about me. I couldn't leave him like this, not when he needed someone. Someone might try to take advantage of the situation.

"Don't worry, Zairon," I said softly, reaching out to touch his cheek again. "I won't get mad. I won't push you away. Not this time."

His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't pull away. He just stared at me filled with mixed emotions.

"Laurene," he started, but I felt his hand grabbing my wrist to get closer to him. Napapansin kong bumibilis ang paghinga niya at napapalunok habang nakatingin sa akin. Namumungay na rin ang kaniyang mga mata. Lumunok siya at parang nag iingat siyang makasabi ng mali ngunit natatalo pa rin siya.

“I.. I want you, Laurene.”

I bit my lip and wet it. My body is reacting even though I'm not the one who took drugs. Pinipilit kong huwag magpadala dahil naiisip kong baka bumalik ang babae kanina. I flinched when he started kissing the back of my hands until he kissed my arms. Unti-unti siyang lumalapit habang hinahalikan ang balat ko hanggang sa umabot ang kaniyang halik sa balikat ko. Nalalaya niyang nahahalikan iyon dahil sa suot ko.

Pumwesto siya sa likod ko at hinawi ang buhok ko upang makita niya ng maayos ang leeg ko. Dinaos-dos niya ang kaniyang kamay sa aking tiyan hanggang umabot ito sa aking dibdib. He started to squeeze it while his tongue licked my neck. Licking, sucking, and meanwhile kissing it. I couldn't complain because I liked what he was doing. I miss this kind of touch from him.

Rinig ko ang paghinga niya sa tenga ko at mas lalo lamang na lumukob ang init na nararamdaman ko.

“Damn. I miss tasting you, Laurene. I just hope that this is not one of my dirty dreams.” Namamaos niyang sambit at walang tigil sa paglamas ng dibdib ko kahit na may damit pa akong suot.

“You.. dream of me?” May halong ungol na tanong ko.

Pinaharap niya ako sa kaniya at malambing niya akong hinalikan sa pisngi bago niya ako tiningnan ulit sa mga mata.

“Every day, Laurene. Everyday that I wish to touch you, again. To feel you and to kiss every part of you.” I gulped when he touched my lips using his thumb.

“Can I kiss you, please?” Nagsusumamo niyang sabi habang nakatingin sa aking labi. Bumibilis ang t***k ng puso ko habang tinitingnan siya.

I was about to answer him when he suddenly shook his head. “No, I can't do it.”

Biglang pumalit ang pagtataka sa mukha ko. “Zairon?”

Tumayo na lamang siya bigla at lumayo sa akin. Lumapit siya papunta sa pintuan palabas. Nakikita kong pinipigilan niya lang ang sarili niya dahil sa paraan ng pagkuyom ng kaniyang kamao.

“I don't want to touch you because of these goddàmn drugs,” he faced me with his lustful eyes but he managed to look away. “Kahit hindi ako nakainom ng ganito, malaki pa rin ang epekto mo sa akin, napakalaki at mas lamang pa sa pèsteng drugs na ‘to.”

My heart was overwhelmed. I don't know but I'm happy that he told me about this. Ngumiti ako at tumayo na rin.

“Okay, but I won't leave you here. Maraming babaeng gusto ka at baka malapa ka pa nila.”

“You will send me home?”

Lumapit ako sa kaniya pero hindi ko naman siya hinawakan at dumiretso sa pintuan.

“Yes, I can drive. Where's your key?”

“Wait. Ako dapat ang maghahatid sayo.”

I just raised my eyebrow. “Ayaw mo?”

“f**k, I can’t even say no to you.” Kinapa niya ang kaniyang bulsa pero alam kong nahihilo siya dahil hindi man lang niya maayos ang kilos niya kaya ako na mismo ang kumapa sa bulsa niya na agad ko rin namang pinagsisihan.

“Damn it.” Nabigla ako sa pagmumura niya kahit na pantalon lang naman niya ang nakapa ko pero iba pala ang epekto nito sa katawan niya.

Pigil hininga kong inaabot ang susi dahil kahit magbulag-bulagan ako, masyadong porma ang alaga niya sa kaniyang pantalon. Namumukol iyon at kahit siguro takipan ay mahahalata.

“You're really a big tease, Laurene.” Biglang saad niya na nagpalayo sa akin dahil mas lalo lamang dumilim ang kaniyang reaksiyon.

Nataranta ako at iniiwasan na lamang na tumingin sa kaniya. Bumaling nalang ako sa pintuan at hinawakan ang doorknob ngunit maramdaman ko nalang na lumapat ang likod ko sa pintuan at mahigpit siyang napahawak sa baywang ko. Kinulong na niya ako at sobrang lapit na naming dalawa.

“Z-zairon..”

“This is my first time that I can't control my body when you're around, Laurene,” Bulong niya sa tenga ko at nararamdaman ko ang labi niyang bumaba sa leeg ko. He started sucking it again and I tried to stop myself from moaning. Tumaas ang kamay niya at hinawakan ang kaliwang dibdib ko.