Play Pretend

Chapter 17

Flirt

I let out a deep sigh after entering my room and locking myself inside. Wala si Mama sa sala o kusina nang makauwi ako, ngunit may nakatakip pang ulam para sa hapunan. Gusto ko mang kumain at huwag sayangin ang niluto niya, wala akong gana. Dire-diretso na lang ako sa kwarto nang madinig ko ang panonood ni Mama sa cellphone sa kanyang silid.

Lutang akong nakatitig sa singsing na isinuot sa akin ni Xaiver. He was so casual about it. I never expected I would get proposed to that way. I was more of an old-school type when it came to those things. Dala na rin ‘yon siguro ng pagiging hopeless romantic ko. I wanted to experience most of the things I watched in movies or series and read in romance fiction. In my reality, though, Xaiver didn’t bother popping the question before giving me a ring. Basta sinuot niya lang ‘yon.

But then again, why would I expect something romantic when we’re not even in a real relationship? We’re just gonna play pretend! I should be ready for the worst relationship ever!

Isang buntonghininga na naman ang pinakawalan ko nang sinubukang pigilan ang sarili sa pag-o-overthink. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko ‘yon ginawa simula nang pinirmahan ko ang kontrata. I was swinging in the middle of regretting my impulsive decision and accepting my cruel fate. Ngunit kahit magbago man ang isip ko, wala na rin akong magagawa. I already signed the agreement. Ang tanging pampalubag-loob ko na lamang ay ang kasiguraduhan na hindi na ako mahihirapan sa pag tustos ng dialysis, check up, at mga gamot ni Mama. She would have a much better life because of the deal at iyon ang importante sa akin.

Kinabukasan, pinasundo ako ni Xaiver sa kanyang driver bago magtanghalian. May meeting kasi siya bago no'n at hindi niya na ako masusundo.

We already had an appointment with the wedding planner he hired for our wedding. Late lunch meeting ‘yon sa isang hotel at doon na siya didiretso galing sa DVH. Hindi ko inakalang magpaplano na ako ng kasal gayong kahit papaanong pagpaparamdam kay Mama ay wala 'kong nagawa.

Hindi ko magawa.

Even between those brief moments of silence while eating breakfast or talking about trivial things, I couldn’t give her a hint. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

While nearing the hotel, my phone rang when Xaiver called. Ayaw ko sanang sagutin pero ayaw kong sumama ang disposisyon niya.

“Hello?” I quietly answered his call.

“Where are you?” he asked right away.

“Malapit na sa hotel.”

“Okay. Kararating ko lang. I’ll wait for you in the lobby.”

“Okay…”

Xaiver ended the call. Alam kong dahil ‘yon sa wala na siyang sasabihin, ngunit hindi maiwasang sumama ang loob ko. I just didn’t like how he dropped the call abruptly. I should be the one doing that!

Dala-dala ko ang sama ng loob na naramdaman hanggang sa nakarating na ako sa hotel. I thought Xaiver would be waiting for me inside a suite or at the lobby, but he was unexpectedly waiting in front of the driveway like a chauffeur. Nakapamulsa ang kanyang isang kamay at nakatagilid bahagya ang ulo habang pinapanood ang paglapit ng sasakyan hanggang sa tumigil na kami sa harapan niya.

Hindi na nag-abala pang bumaba ang driver dahil si Xaiver na mismo ang nagbukas ng pinto para sa akin. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at inalalayan pababa, ngunit kahit na nakalabas na ako ng sasakyan ay hindi niya binitiwan ‘yon.

Normal lang naman siguro ‘to, ‘di ba? We’re engaged now anyway… kahit hindi totoo.

“The planner’s waiting for us inside. Let’s go,” sabi niya lang at saka pinagsalikop ang aming mga kamay.

Once we entered the lobby, all eyes were on us. Sigurado akong hindi naman kami kilala ng lahat, ngunit talagang kahit sino ay napapalingon sa amin. It might be because of Xaiver’s irresistible aura, or we might have caught their attention because of how incompatible we looked. It might be weird to see us together — me standing right next to him — even though it used to be my position as his secretary.

I wanted to ignore all the stares, pero naisip ko ang situwasyon naming dalawa ni Xaiver. We had already gone public with our arrangement. Baka hindi pa umabot ng weekend ay alam na ni Mama ang tungkol sa aming dalawa. We would surely hit the news in no time!

“Xaiver, teka lang.” Tumigil ako sa paglakad at sinubukang bawiin ang kamay ko, ngunit dahil magkasalikop ang aming kamay ay nahirapan ako. He immediately tightened his grip before I could pull away.

He glanced at our hands, then shot me a glare. “What are you doing?”

“Bitiwan mo ako.”

“Why would I do that?”

Muli akong sumulyap sa paligid bago sinabing, “Madaming nakakakita sa atin… Baka mamaya kumalat agad. Hindi ko pa nasasabihan si Mama…”

Bahagyang lumuwag ang paghawak niya sa kamay ko pero hindi niya pa rin ako binitiwan.

“You don’t need to worry about the media. I already have them in control kaya walang kakalat tungkol sa atin until I give them a go signal,” sabi niya. “And unless your mom has friends around here who will tell her about us, doon niya lang malalaman. But worry not; we will meet with the planner in a private room. Wala pa rin masyadong makakakita sa atin.”

Napanguso ako. Hindi pa rin ako ganoon kakumbinsido pero hinayaan ko na lang. Xaiver has never failed with his plans, anyway. Sigurado rin akong walang kakilala si Mama rito sa hotel.

Matapos niyang sagutin ang tanong ko, dumiretso na kami sa restaurant at agad kaming dinala sa private room kung saan naghihintay ang planner na kinuha niya.

Agad ko ‘yong namukhaan. She was undoubtedly renowned in the industry as one of the famous wedding planners for celebrities and politicians. Karamihan din sa mga kasal na kilalang gawa niya ay ginaganap sa ibang bansa.

“Mr. Dela Vega!” Namamangha ang babae nang dumating kami. Her eyes were all on Xaiver right away until she spared me a glance. “Miss Bersales?”

Hindi nakatakas sa akin ang panunuri niya. She quickly surveyed me and smiled meaningfully before fixing her attention on Xaiver.

“You have a beautiful fiancee, Mr. Dela Vega,” puri niya.

I licked my lips. I was unsure if she meant that or was only being sarcastic.

“Of course,” agad na sabi ni Xaiver at lumingon sa akin. “My wife is always beautiful.”

Kahit walang iniinom ay muntik na akong masamid. Mukhang nagmamadali na naman siya. Wala pa ngang isang buong araw ang nakakalipas magmula nang pumayag akong magpakasal sa kanya.

“I can see that.” She awkwardly chuckled. “Anyway, I would like to formally introduce myself before anything else.” Ibinalik niya ang tingin sa akin. “I’m Karylle Villanueva. I plan and organize weddings for famous personalities here in the country. It’s nice meeting you.”

As soon as Karylle offered her hand, agad ko ‘yong sinalo at nakipagkamay.

“Chantal na lang. Nice meeting you, too,” balik kong pagpapakilala.

She lightly shook her head. “You’re my client, Miss Chantal. While at work, I’ll address you formally,” she said. “Also… this is my secretary, Abby.”

“Okay, uhm…” sabi ko na lang bago bumitiw at nilingon ang sekretarya niya. “Hello, Abby. Nice to meet you rin.”

I mentally scolded myself for being awkward. Halos ilang buwan pa lang simula nang nawalan ako sa posisyon ko pero parang agad ko nang nakalimutan kung paano makipagsalamuha sa ibang tao.

"Good afternoon, Ma'am!" Abby immediately greeted me back. We also did a handshake samantalang pagdating kay Xaiver ay ngiti lang ang kaya niyang gawin.

It was obvious that she was intimidated by his dark and strong aura. Hindi ko siya masisisi. She was already brave enough to smile at him.

“Let’s have a seat. I’ll have our lunch served,” Xaiver ended our short introduction by having us settled on the table.

Pretending to be a nice gentleman, Xaiver naturally pulled a chair out for me. Inalalayan niya pa ang kamay ko habang paupo kahit na kaya ko naman na ang sarili. He then sat on the chair beside mine. Sa tapat niya ay si Karylle.

The servers quickly served our lunch. Apat ang pumasok sa loob at mukhang may sarili-sarili kaming taga-asikaso.

“I was so ecstatic when you approached me, Mr. Dela Vega. Lilipad sana ako sa Italy for a vacation next, next week, but I can’t miss this opportunity,” kwento ni Karylle upang makabuo ng rapport sa kanyang kliyente.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Xaiver courtly said.

Mabilis na umiling si Karylle at tumawa. “It’s a huge honor to plan your wedding. How can I possibly reject your offer? Madali lang naman ang mag-rebook ng trip.”

Xaiver nodded. “That’s good. I appreciate that.”

Napanguso ako habang iniikot ang tinidor sa pasta. Sanay na ako sa mga simpleng sagutan ni Xaiver tuwing may ka-meeting. He never showed even a hint of interest. Isa lang ang tono at ekspresyon na gamit niya sa mga nakakausap kaya palaisipan pa rin sa akin kung paano niya naliligawan ang mga investors at ilang business partners noong nagsisimula pa lang siya.

“Uhm, by the way, I believe you haven’t told me yet kung kailan ninyo balak magpakasal. That’s the first thing I need to know para alam ko kung paano ang magiging galaw natin. We need to map everything on scchedule,” Karylle shifted the topic.

“We want it done by next month,” Xaiver simply answered.

Wala sa oras kong nalunok ang pasta kahit hindi pa ako tapos ngumuya.

WE?

“Next month?!” Napaayos ng upo si Karylle at sumulyap sa akin.

“Yes. May problema ba?”

“W-wala naman.” Hilaw na tumawa si Karylle. “I was just surprised. There isn't any news yet about your engagement. I thought magkakaroon pa ng engagement party… I’m sure everyone will be overwhelmed na kasal agad ng most eligible bachelor sa bansa ang bubungad sa kanila.”

“Well, I don’t really care what other people will think,” Xaiver nonchalantly expressed his thoughts. “Gusto ko lang agad makasal kay Chantal, and I want a grand one. I’m sure you can polish everything before then, right?”

“Yes, yes! Of course! No problem!” agad na sabi ni Karylle.

I could tell just by the sound of her frantic tone that she was already pressured by Xaiver’s ultimatum. She was also possibly starting to regret her decision to accept his offer to plan our wedding. How could she plan a perfect and spotless grand wedding in less than a month? Matatanggap ko kung magkakaroon ng problema, pero sigurado akong kahit maliit na aberya ay hindi tatanggapin ni Xaiver.

“Miss Chantal.”

Gulat akong napaangat ng tingin kay Karylle nang bigla niya akong tawagin. “Y-Yes?”

“I assume you already have a concept or theme in mind…” nag-aalangan niyang sabi. “Mr. Dela Vega told me na ikaw ang bahala sa gusto mong mangyari sa kasal. I want to hear them out now to prepare proposals within two days? I have trusted suppliers so hindi tayo mahihirapan sa pag po-procure ng mga kakailanginin for the decorations and the likes. Just tell me want you visualize for your wedding.”

Bahagyang napaawang ang mga labi ko. Mas madali pa ang mga tanong sa akin sa interview kaysa sa pinapasagot niya ngayon. Nablanko ako lalo na’t titig na titig sa akin sina Karylle at Abby habang nag-aabang ng sagot.

“Uhm… Simple lang siguro.”

Napatagilid ng ulo si Karylle sa sagot ko. It was obviously in contrast with what Xaiver wanted to happen. He wants a grand one, but I want to keep it simple.

“What she meant is she wants a classic grand wedding.” Xaiver saved me from that fall and reconstructed my words to give them a different meaning. “White, gold, and silver tones — we can start from there.”

During the rest of our lunch meeting, si Xaiver na ang halos lahat na sumagot sa tanong. Tahimik lang akong kumakain sa gilid niya habang nakikinig. He carefully answered every question na para bang nagpa-plano siya ng malaking proyekto ng DVH. He even went into details, making Karylle’s job easier.

They often asked for my opinion about a particular suggestion, and all I could do was nod and smile like a robot. I was supposed to be the one taking charge, but I couldn’t seem to put my heart and mind into it. I was so detached from them. Para bang nahila lang ako riyan sa labas at biglang nasali sa usapan kahit na hindi naman dapat. Even Abby seemed more engrossed while listening. She also pitched some interesting ideas habang wala akong ambag.

Hindi ko alam kung paano nagagawa ni Xaiver na ibigay ang buong atensyon at pag-iisip sa kasal. Maghihiwalay rin naman kami balang araw. All his carefully thought-out ideas would just go down the drain when he could’ve saved them to the one he would spend the rest of his life with. Dahil kung ako ang tatanungin, hindi ako mag-aaksaya ng panahon para sa taong hindi ko mahal. I don’t want to waste so much money, time, and effort for something that won’t last… something that isn’t real.

But looking back on his crooked principles, those things shouldn’t matter to him. Everything for him is calculated and strategized. Everything is business. Kaya siguro wala siyang pakialam kahit na mag-aksaya siya ng pera at oras. He just wanted all his projects to be successful, and our marriage was one of them.

“I think that’s all for today. I will draft proposals with Abby and submit them in two days. I’ll prepare at least three to five para madami kayong pagpilian. Will that be fine?” Karylle said to conclude our meeting after finishing our lunch.

Xaiver nodded once. “Yes, please. Thank you.”

Doon na nagtapos ang meeting. Nagpaalam din sa akin sina Karylle at Abby bago sila tuluyang umalis at iniwan akong mag-isa kasama si Xaiver.

As soon as they were out, he reached for his wine and took a sip. Kinagat ko ang aking ibabang labi. I knew I messed up a lot during our meeting kahit na tahimik lang ako dahil ayon mismo ang problema. I was supposed to engage and act interested, but I didn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. Kailangan ko pa siguro ng konting oras para maka-adjust sa lahat, ngunit masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari dahil ayon ang gusto ni Xaiver.

“You were pretty behaved during the meeting,” makahulugang sabi ni Xaiver.

Alam kong hindi puri ‘yon. He was being sarcastic.

“Sorry…” Bumuntonghininga ako kasabay ng pagbagsak ng aking mga balikat. “Hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot ko kanina.”

“I hope you find the answers by tomorrow,” sabi niya at marahang nilapag ang wine glass sa lamesa. “We’re meeting Diego at Manière. He’s a friend of my mother. If we won’t be able to convince him about our relationship, what more, my mom?”

Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. Mariin akong napakapit sa palda ng aking bestida. I couldn’t believe I was reprimanded for failing to pretend to be happy about our fake relationship and interested in our wedding.

“Let’s go. I’ll drive you home. I have to be back at DVH before five. May mga tatapusin pa ako,” Xaiver said, then got up from his chair.

Unlike earlier, hindi niya na ako tinulungan sa upuan. Wala naman na kasing nakakakita sa aming dalawa. Ngunit bago tuluyang lumabas ng private room ay huminto siya’t nilingon ako upang hintayin. He then held my hand again and intertwined it with his before we stepped out the hall where people could see us.

He’s really good at this. Kung hindi siya naging businessman ay puwede siyang sumabak sa pagiging artista.

“Well, look what we have here...”

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa hindi inaasahang makakasalubong namin sa lobby nang madinig ko ang isang pamilyar na boses. Ang nakangising Knoa Laurente ang bumungad sa akin.

Great. Sa dami-daming puwedeng makasalubong ay siya pa talaga.

Knoa was with a woman whose arm was linked to his. Kita kong bahagyang umatras ang babae na para bang nagtatago sa likuran niya. She is gorgeous at maganda ring manamit. I figured she was also from a prominent family.

As far as I was aware of his reputation, Knoa wasn’t the type to commit himself. Hindi siya nag-gi-girlfriend. Ayaw ko mang pangunahan, but the poor woman must be one of his flings added to his collection dahil hindi man lang siyang nag-abalang ipakilala.

“I thought she resigned?” Nakataas-kilay na tanong ni Knoa sa pinsan sabay sulyap sa magkahawak naming kamay. Itsura niya pa lang ay nagsisimula na akong makaramdam ng inis sa kabila ng hiya. “She quit as your secretary dahil na-promote siya bilang girlfriend?”

“Keep your mouth shut. We’ll talk later,” mariing sabi ni Xaiver at hindi na pinatulan ang pang-iinis ng pinsan.

Mabilis din naming nilagpasan si Knoa bago pa siya magpatuloy sa pang-iinis. Xaiver’s car was already waiting for us in the driveway. Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pintuan at nang makapasok ako ay siya na rin ang nagsara no’n bago tumungo sa driver’s seat.

I couldn’t help but look back at the hotel lobby. Wala na roon ang pinsan niya at ang kasama nito.

“Dito ninyo ba lagi dinadala ang mga babae ninyo?” wala sa sarili kong tanong nang mahanap ulit ang boses.

“I’m not like Knoa. I don’t flirt with women, moreso bringing them to hotels,” agad niyang paglalaglag sa pinsan, pero hindi naman na dagdag kaalaman ‘yon sa akin. “You know what I do?” habol niya.

Napakunot ang aking noo at unti-unti siyang nilingon dahil sa bigla niyang tanong. Xaiver then glanced at me as he stopped in front of the traffic light in red and grinned.

“I go straight for the most favorable deal.”