Reckless

Chapter 31

Whatever. Hindi ko muna iisipin yung mga ganyang bagay. All I need to do is to focus on Brion.

Nakaalis na si Louis at umiiyak pa din si Brion. Palagi niyang binabanggit ang salitang ‘dada’.

Lagi niyang hinahanap si Louis kaya wala akong choice kung hindi ivideo call si Louis para magkita niya. Dahil doon, araw araw na din tumatawag sa’kin si Louis.

Kapag may trabaho naman, si ate Reah ang tinatawagan niya. When they started doing that, hindi na umiiyak ulit si Brion. Tuwang tuwa din ito pag tumatawag ang daddy niya.

Balik na ulit ako sa trabaho and things are a bit awkward to me and Gio. I don’t know, but I don’t have feelings for him, for now I guess. Hindi lang siguro talaga ako interested na makipagrelasyon ngayon.

But he told me that he will respect whatever my decision will be and he’ll wait for me. Araw-araw pa din kaming naglulunch ng sabay at nagkakaroon na nga ng rumors sa loob ng company about sa’ming dalawa.

Hindi nalang namin pinapansin dahil alam naman namin sa isa’t isa kung anong meron lang sa amin.

This week is a hell week for me. Sobrang daming gagawin at mas lalong dumami ang gusto makipag partnership sa’min. I can’t lose the opportunity so I have no choice but to attend every meeting.

Hindi naman pupuwedeng si Gio ang umattend sa lahat dahil kailangan talaga ang presensya ko doon. Depende nalang kung hindi talaga kaya ng schedule. I don’t have time for Brion too pag uwi ko at bago ako umalis.

Ang nagagawa ko lang ay kausapin siya ng saglit, yakapin at halikan. And he’s already exhausted the moment I get home, so hindi na siya nagiging makulit. Nakahiga nalang siya habang umiinom ng gatas at nakatingin sa’kin.

Hindi na rin siya ang brebreast feed directly sa’kin. Although he still drinks my milk kasi yun ang nakasanayan niya.

Pagkatapos ko maligo ay tumawag nanaman si Louis. Umaga sakanila at nakalimutan kong iiwas agad ang camera sa’kin. Mukha tuloy akong ewan doon.

Tinapat ko kay Brion and camera. I even bought a stand that I could put in front of him para makita niya si Louis kahit nakahiga siya without me holding the phone.

“Hello Brion,”

“Dada!” Masiglang sabi ni Louis pero medyo mahina na ang energy niya.

Gabi na din kasi at sigurado ako maya maya ay tulog na ‘to.

“Did you take a bath already?” Tanong nito. Brion nodded.

“Pinaliguan ko na siya bago ako naligo,” Sabi ko dahil alam ko namang naririnig niya ako.

Nakikita ko siya dito mula sa hinihigaan ko, pero hindi niya ako nakikita. Kay Brion lang talaga nakatapat ang camera.

“That’s good then. Paamoy nga ng baby na yan,” Sabi niya.

“Hmm… bango!” Sabi ni Louis at tumawa naman si Brion.

He used to call me baby. That’s our call sign before kaya medyo weird pakinggan mula sakanya. Feeling ko ako ang tinutukoy niya.

“Louis! Are we gonna have dinner later?”

May babaeng biglang pumasok sa frame ng video at hahalikan sana siya nito sa pisngi pero tinaggal ko na kaagad ang phone dahil makikita ‘yon ni Brion. Louis stood up and walk away.

“I’m sorry,”

“Please don’t show Brion your girlfriend. It’s not good for the child.” Sabi ko.

“She’s not my--”

“I don’t care who she is, Louis. I want you to be alone when you’re talking with my son.” Sabi ko naman.

What if that girl suddenly kiss him?

Edi nakita ‘yun ni Brion?

Brion knows that I’m her mother and Louis is his father. Ano nalang ang iisipin niya?

I know we’re not in good terms, but Brion is too young to know about this or even watch this thing. Dapat sa ganitong edad, puro saya at enjoy lang siya. Dapat wala siyang pinoproblema.

As what I said, gusto ko payapa at masaya ang buhay niya. That’s it.

“Yes, I’m sorry. That won’t happen again.” Sabi niya.

Tumingin ako kay Brion na ngayon ay tulog na.

“I’ll end the calll now. He’s asleep.” I said.

Bago pa siya mag salita ay pinatay ko na ang call. Pinapayagan ko siyang tumawag araw araw at makita si Brion, but I won’t tolerate that kind of action.

- Kinabukasan ay pumunta ako ng office at bumungad sa’kin si Gio na may hawak na bouquet of flowers.

“Gio, ano ‘to?”

“I just want to give you those,” Sabi naman niya.

Hindi na ako nag react pa at tinaggap nalang ‘yon. I don’t know why I feel so exhausted. Parang wala din akong gana sa lahat.

“Thank you.” I said.

“Did you like it?” Tanong niya.

Tinignan ko ang bulaklak. I love lively colors. Plus this are tulips. Tulips are my favorite flowers. How did he know about this?

“Yes, tulips are my favorite. How did you know?” Sabi ko.

“Really? Well, my mother likes tulips a lot. I don’t know what kind of flowers you like so I went for it.”

“Thank you for this, really.” I smiled.

It made my day a bit. I receive flowers a lot before when I was in college and that includes flowers from Louis. Pero rose ang binibigay niya sa’kin. Yun din naman kasi ang hilig ko noon at hindi tulips.

“Why do you look so down? Did something happened?” Tanong nito.

“Nah, I don’t know why also. Sudden mood swings, I guess.” Sabi ko.

Ate Danicah hasn’t contacted me for three months straight now dahil automatic na pumapasok ang pera sa account niya every month. I told Gio to handle it.

Siguro dapat ko na ulit ibalik sa dati para tumawag muna siya sa’kin bago ipadala ang allowance niya. Of course I care about her. Gusto ko din malaman kung anong pinagkakaabalahan niya sa buhay and mother told me to look after her.

It’s funny how I should be the one to look after her when that’s supposed to be her job. Even running this company should be hers.

Sinabi ko sakanya nung una na puwede naman naming hatiin yon. That we should work together to run the company, but look at what she did. She left me.