RAYANA

 Through life and death, what will you choose if the only thing you can do is to fight? You don’t have anything except those fist that keep on clinching and punching, to your feet that keeps on kicking. Your body language scream death, your mind is a dark canvas with full of crimson line. So tell me, what should I chose this life that means nothing or death that I keep on searching? Madilim ang langit at nagbabadya and malakas na pagbagsak ng ulan, malakas ang hangin na nagpapasayaw sa mga puno at ang pagsigaw ng mga lalaki sa buong lugar. I gritted my teeth and clinch my jaw tight when the last man I punch was still standing and keep attacking me, I don’t mind though but I don’t want to get wet, he punch me and targeting my jaw but grab his arm to the side and nailed him at the back on his neck and f*****g elbow his head. Kung pwede ko lang baliin ang leeg nya kanina ko pa ginawa but I can’t, this is just a test for me again. I don’t even count the tests that they’ve done to me to prove that being a 12 years old kid fighting the man triple to my age doesn’t mean that I’m not capable of winning. I stop when he drop his head and fall down to the ground, unconscious. I breathe heavily when I felt the large drop on my head, it’s f*****g raining, great. Tuminga ako at binaliwala ang mga lalaking nakahandusay sa sahig at may mga iba’t ibang bali ng buto sa kanilang katawan. I close my eyes when the pouring rain wet my face and my body. I stand up there, hands on the side and the tiring fight fell on my shoulder. My hands are full of bandage and it’s now dirty and bloody. Until I was satisfied of the rain falling on my face, I turn around and walk out of the field, nilagpasan ko ang mga medic na paparating para sakluluhan ang mga tauhan na mukhang isa o higit pang buwang mamamalagi sa infirmary. I saw the wary look of the men watching us a while ago. I ignore them and straight to Shaab, my attendant. May dala syang putting towel sa braso, mabilis nyang pinululupot sa akin ang towel bago humakbang paatras ng isa. “Your meals waiting for you Miss” Tingnan ko lang sya at walang sinabi. He guide me to the exit but a group blocked our way. Four faces that very familiar yet not know them very well. “You are lucky huh, 50 men in 10 minutes would you share your secret to me Raya?” ngiti ni Corden, one of the trainee here in the field. THE FIELD is the training section of all the types of trainees that wanted to join here in RENOVAL AREGE GROUP. An unknown group in underground society, we were not specifically stayed in one country, kumbaga watak watak ang grupo sa iba’t ibang bansa to do business transactions, illegal or not, it depends on your ability as a member. We have five level in the group, the first one is the field which we trained ourselves to death until we accept to level two. We have five section in a ground level of the group. It’s like finding your talent in college life and the only thing you could do is to try everything they’ll throw to you until you find your spot or find your burial ground, we always throw young people every day anyway, so it’s not new to me to saw someone died in young age, the first time that I saw someone died when I was 6 years old, he who I think my father killed my uncle in front of me. The first section is the strategist. They only used mind. That’s what I knew. They are the one who plan the mission or business transaction or whatever they called it but, they are the genius of the group but they’re also the weakest. The second section is the controller. The controller has ability to manipulate people using their charismatic charms and psychoanalytic ability, some they called manipulate doctor because they should need to know medicine. If not then you are not the controller even though you have THE charisma. Heard the sarcastic there. The third section is the watcher, this section is all I want because you just watch people. It is very easy right? But however, you should have the sharp ability using your eyes and sharp sensitive senses, this section has a rare case because you do not find people with this kind of ability easily, para kang naghahanap ng baby hair sa malakas na ipo-ipo. Yun ka, kaya iniingatan sila madalas pag-nasa mission dahil kukunti lang sila sa grupo. The forth section is the soldier. See the word, they called soldier because of their ability to fight combats and build weapon. They’re ability was to create bombs, guns, knives and survive in a wild. They are the strongest in the group. The last and the fifth section is the commander. This section isn’t ordinary as saying the words “I’m ok” all the time. All the ability that I’ve mention had the commander itself. This is the leader of the group, the most important one which very high maintenance and the one who talking to me is an example. Corden Bayron, his one of toughest soon to be commander here, yung iba nasa kabila ng field malayong nanonood sa amin. Ang nakasunod sa kanya ay mga ka-grupo nya. Well, the thing is all of the section contain in one group, team that’s what they’ve said it. Hindi ka bibigyan ng mission kung wala kang team. Sinilip ko sya sa gitna ng pagod kung itsura, I don’t have a time for this. He smirk more when he saw me looking at him. His body language makes me wanted to laugh at him, his tense. “You look amazing there Raya!” singit ni Halo, his Corden’s bestfriend. A strategist. He thumbs up to me but his lifeless eyes never filter its meaning. “Miss this way” marahang sabat ni Shaab. Hindi ko sya nilingon and I saw Corden look at him, pissed. Hindi ko sya pinansin at tumalikod na, I didn’t wait Shaab and took my long shower to my chamber in the west wing of the Arege manor. This is like a dormitory building of the group. Napahinto ako sa paglabas ng banyo ng makita ko si Shaab na nakatayo sa gilid ng dining table na malapit sa veranda. I saw the bruises on his face and the dry blood on his collar, he’d still smile despite of the big bruised on his jaw and gesture the grand seat to me. Sinara ko ng marahan ang pinto at walang ingay na umupo. I took my meal silently while his watching me as usual and barely stand up because of his broken leg. After I finished my meal, I took a nap. I ordered him to do errands for me outside such as buying medicine to my personal doctor, he didn’t complain and gladly obey. The silence eating me and my mind still alive, at the end I get up and look at the door. I smirk and look outside and it’s storming. I didn’t bothered to cover up myself with my night gown dragging on the corridor. The corridor that witnessed all the event here was so silence with darkness but I don’t mind at all, I stop when I find the right door. I knock and the shock face of the suited man was entertaining a bit. ‘Hi’ I sweetly greet. “Miss?..” before he utter any words I knock him out. I look down at his falling face before slowly closing the door with a single knife on my hand. This is not the first time that I do this but definitely the first time to kill an innocent man, or rather say Corden’s attendant for years already. I don’t have remorse and mercy because they didn’t teach me how. Deal with it. I walked with ease while finding the corridor that takes me to the dining area of the manor which all the trainees taking dinner. Every guards that I’ve been encounter have a big reaction on their face but I don’t need their reaction, I need THAT someone reaction. The furious face that he should show and hatred on his eyes that takes someone life like I dead to his attendant. Pag pasok ko palang sa malaking dining room may mga tumingin na sa akin at taking taka sa ginagawa ko but the laughter on his face with his team and the shock reaction around while watching me approached him makes me regret not to look nice this evening. Hindi pa nya ko napapansin hanggang sa huminto ako sa gilid nya. They didn’t even noticed me. So I don’t have a choice but to put it there in front of their foods. Agad na nawala ang tawanan at mabilis na nag-sitayuan ang lahat para lumayo sa table. I smile so sweetly with their remarks, I look to Corden who unbelievingly watch his attendant’s head. “W-What!?” “What the f**k!” I ignore their unbelievable reactions. “Hi” I greet him sweetly. He look at me with a big eyes and hanging mouth, his pale face and trembling body makes me want to lead nothing, this is distasteful. I expected him to get insane not scared. I cling my head to the side and look curiously at him. This is so boring.