RAYANA

Chapter 4

I was wide awake and ready to go up and walk when I saw him lingering on the door. I raise him an eyebrow when I saw how black his eyes was.

"Don't tell me you didn't kill him?" He didn't answer and just walk, seat on the vacant chair on my side.

"You passed out.. You're in the Villacenor safe house."

I look outside and saw the green trees and morning sun.

"I heard... That's sad." Saad ko. I talk to the nurse when she came first to me. Wala ng pumasok bukod kay Reiga.

He sigh.

"We didn't get him on time.. You said you want to meet him anyway."

"I don't care if his alive or not Reiga.. I just wanted to meet him personal. His whole being, flesh and you failed me." I coldly said while staring at the space.

I felt his stares and the silence around us.

"We take over the main base of the clan but many had scape and it'll be tough for this months.. specially that they're hunting you now." I stare at him and smile.

"There's nothing that I could left behind Reiga, so don't bother to make me still alive.. Kill me now so you make peace for awhile."

I saw his lips align.

"We couldn't create peace anymore Rayana.. We never create that when we have this life, but don't you think being alive is useless to you because you  are now living someone behind."

Kunot noo ko syang tinitigan.

"I don't have any."

He raise his head and cross his arms.

"You saved the child remember. You'll take the responsibility "

Hinarap ko sya kahit na ang hirap dahil sa binda ko sa balikat. Child? Who?

"Child? Do I look like mother to you..?"

"It's the kid name Izaac or Zac " He cut me off.

I parted my lips but I can't utter any words. Right damn.

"He didn't stop crying while you're unconscious and it's bothering us because he never wanted to leave your side until I explained to him that I knew you, so his waiting outside for days because you were unconscious for 3 days and.. He said he'll just die if we force us to tear him off you"

Napapakurap na sumandal ako sa unan na nasa likod ko. Feeling a bit lost. 

"You should bring him to his parents and get over this.. Why you would let him doing this? Let him die then." Inis kung saad.

"I'm not sure about that.."

" You would do this.. Get him out and bring him to his parents and start a life like doing a child play or whatever the child might do this days generation I don't care Reiga.. Might as well kill him if he wanted it.. Why would I think about someone who you thought I saved, but I just got interested of being a good badass inmate for an hour? get pull off yourself and return him to his parents." Gigil kung sabi at inis na humiga. I close my eyes. I might just got sleep for now. I feel exhausted.

He get up.

"You suck at showing emotions.."

He utter kicking the side of my bed.

"Yeah, thanks.." I quietly said.

I heard him out and close the door. I sigh and open my eyes. I don't feel emotions, I block them out of my life because that's how it goes right for me. Feelings aren't make you feel any less human but make you think that you're capable of weakness and that's the last thing I could be, being weak.

I turn to my side looking at the window. That child Zac, is a danger to my zone. He makes me feel things that for the first time I felt somehow, it's all new, even Shaad I didn't do over things, I killed the attendant for my another motive but taking the bullet is my stupid stunt in my 12 years existence. 

I sigh closing my eyes. Might as well sleep and don't think about the blue eyes. 

Days passed and every single hour was boring and dull, I didn't allowed anyone except Reiga getting in inside my room. I helped them taking down the Arege so they should endure my bratty attitude.

I sight heavily when I heard shuffle outside the door and sniffs. I tried to ignore it but the sobs was getting louder until I couldn't take it.

Masama ang tingin sa pinto na bumangon ako at diritsong binuksan ang pinto.

He look up while weeping his tears away when he saw me, he pouted his lips and teary eyes again. May nakabalot sa kanyang kumot na sobrang laki. 

"A-Ate Raya.."

Kunot noo ko syang tinitigan. Ilang beses ko na syang tinaboy pero balik pa rin sya ng balik, I shouted at him, glaring at him even kicked him but still he so persistence of staying with me. I don't know why Reiga didn't let this kid out here but I'm more than pissed right now that I can't help but tired of this scene all over again.

Malamig ang turing na hinayaan kung bukas ang pinto at bumalik sa kama. I buried myself to pillow and comforter while trying to get some sleep.

I heard him step outside, his baby steps and the deep of the bed on my back. I felt his eyes on me while carefully not moving or creating any noise.

I am taking off in oblivion when I felt presence on my back and hand on my waist. He carefully sink his face on my hair and his body on me. 

"Zac" I warned said but sleepily.

He didn't let go and hold me even tighter. His like purring like a cat when his in so much comfortable bed.

I sigh and let him be.  

I woke up when I heard the door open. The quiet steps are getting closer until it shown Reiga's intriguing reaction. His carrying tray with foods in it.

I get up and look at Zac who's in deep sleep and Reiga. There's a little smile on his face while I roll my eyes on him.

"Don't you dare." Paos kung banta sa kanya while getting on my foot.

We proceed to the mini dining area when the glass window located.

"What's your plan?" Tanong nya while putting my food in front of me. I don't care if I was a mess right now because I'm famished and the only thing I cared about was food.

"I don't do plans Reiga.." I flatly said glancing at him and take a bite of fresh apple. He never said anything after that.

It's so quiet and the only thing that makes me glance outside was the beautiful sunset and the red orange combination around. It's soothing and new to me.

New for I think looking for a little bit light sometimes and not darkness is refreshing and warm. I nearly believe that I can have a chance for once but remembering what I am makes me wanted to stay in black and in tight bloody life.

"I have plan.. Wanna hear it?" Napakurap ako at marahang lumingon sa kanya. He staring at me intently.

Kanina pa nya ko tinititigan na parang tinitimbang nya ang galaw ko kahit na blanko ang makikita mo sa mga mata nya. Reiga and I we're like the same and different at the same time. His been this kind of a man that define darkness itself, a man who full of secrets inside the walking closet. He always goes out with different personalities. He hidden enough for me that sometimes I can't read his actions as an opposite of what I am, I can guaranteed that my personality is open as a book in the shelf at the public library ready to read anytime.

"Plans create to destroy.. I don't want to hear it.."

"It's better this way than to let you runs around outside attempting to jump across any street." He cut me off.

I crinkle my nose.

"I don't do that."

"I know but you barely behave yourself Rayana. The last thing you do what you want, you destroy the possibility of meeting him." He said stating the fact.

Galit ko syang tinitigan at tinusok ko ang mansanas ng tinidor kung hawak.

Leaning on the table to face him properly. 

"What's your point?" Walang gana kung tanong keeping my eyes on him.

He didn't react with my stunt. He put a small envelope beside my plate and stood up.

"Read that first.. I'll see you after a week." Sabi nya walking out.

"What do you mean? Hoyy!" Sigaw ko at habol sa kanya.

Pagsara na lang ng pinto ang naabutan ko and I can't believe that he ignore me. What's his problem?

Naiinis na babalik sana ako sa table ng masulyapan ko ang kama. I stop when I saw the blue eyes, quietly observing. Napakurap ako at napatingin sa pinto bago tumikhim.

"Your awake.. Come join me here." Baling ko sa kanya bago lumakad pabalik.

I sat down and watch him getting up slowly. May pasa pa rin sya sa ibang parte ng katawan at sa mukha nya but over all he looks fine to me. His wearing a white shirt again and a jogging pants. 

He timidly sat down in front of me and look our table.

I give him my unfinished plate who I barely touch because of Reiga, well apple lang naman ang trip ko dyan and not the pancakes and croissant, I don't like sweets except fruits because it's given to be sweet. I sip my tea and quietly look outside.

Nasulyapan ko ang panonood nya sa akin habang sumusubo ng apple. He bite a small part and chew it slowly. His prim and proper for a boy.

"What?" Di ko matiis na itanong dahil palagi kung nakikita ang mata nya. Like the blue lagoon surrounded by green trees.

Agad syang nagbaba ng tingin habang umiiling. Hiding his curious eyes on me.

"Tell me " Asik ko. 

Sumulyap sya sa akin bago binaba ang tingin. Tinitigan ko ang ulo nya, his long hair is silky.

"I... uhh. I..."

"If you wanted to say something dapat diritso hindi yung kinakabahan ka pa. Sasabihin mo lang naman hindi ba?" May bahid inis sa tono ko. Ang tagal nya kasi.

Nanlalaki ang matang tumitig sa akin kaya tinaasan ko sya ng kilay, tumayo ako at nilipat ang upuan sa gilid kung saan kaya ko syang maabot.

He just gaping his mouth while watching me to seat near him.

"So tell me.." Udyok ko sa kanya habang inaabot ang hawak nyang apple at sinubo.

He looks at my lips and to my eyes again. I chew the apple while waiting him to talk.

"I-Its the.. the." Sumulyap sya sa table at sa akin. I trace were his sight was and I saw the envelope. I look at him and saw him bit his lips looking down again.

So, he heard huh.

Inabot ko ang baba nya at hinarap sa akin. His big blue eyes was the only thing that I saw and his thin nose. 

"You have to look at me when we are talking Zac.. Always look at me." I saw his cheeks become pink while gaping at me again.

I sigh letting him go.

"And don't you think it's wrong to eavesdropping? I don't like it." I sat up straight challenging him.

"I didn't!" He gasp reaching my ruffle dress still flushed. The clothes are thin and I felt his hand freezing.

"You heard us and you pretended to sleep, you eavesdropped.." I coldly said trying to stand up and pulling my dress away from him.

"I said I didn't! " He shouted this time and cling into my dress, I stop there looking at his form trembling and his red eyes, ready to cry again.

Is he..?

I move but he hold my dress tighten and I saw just now that his lips are trembling as well.

I side my face to look outside and sigh. What's this child? How come his like a guilty kid who wanted my attention all of the sudden?

Sumasakit ulo ko. Grabe. I'm still 12 alright but I feel old enough to struggle to stand because of him.