Beauty's Amour

Masochist

Masochist.

I told you my heart's leaning towards you

A little more than something that scaring you

is it too much or too fast or too forward

should I step and pretend I don't feel this way?

I don't wanna tell a lie

I don't wanna have to hide

its on the line waiting for a sign

I see it on your eyes I know you really feel the same

I need to know If I shouldrise or fold

my heart is stuck on hoId I

i wanna know which way to go

I can't love alone

I can't Love alone

The song felt like it was basically my feelings for Damon. Mahal ko siya pero hindi niya ako mahal. My heart's stuck with him but like the song said I can't love alone.

Nandito ako tanaw ang grupong nagpeperform which are basically my friends with thier usual band attire white long sleeves with a touch of red chekerd tie and three buttons left open. It's been days since the confrontation with Damon and it is the last day of foundation week. Battle of the bands .

I had my other members of the club to feature this scenes. I might mess things up lalo na late ko nang nalaman na Damon was there playing his drums again. I'm glad to see him try his drums again.

It's a nostalgic feeling seeing him play with the drums I thought him how to play. He's playing with the drumstick I give him as his graduation gift when we're on Elementary.

But it was really heartbreaking seeing him play again an instrument I thought him but he's playing it for another girl.

Damon is shining while hitting the drums. He has that smile again. The smile that can light up anyone's day. I really envy Angel. She gets to see it everyday. Lucky b***h.

"Belle, Celebrate tayo after this. I really miss hanging out with the guys."Ashley said while eating some gummy bears .Childish. Kailan nga ba yung huling hang out namin. I kind of don't remember anymore.

"Okay I'll go with you. I think need a drink or two. I'll just changed Ash. I badly need a drink din kasi."

"Why? may problema ba?"She stop eating her gummies for a while at tumititig sa mukha ko. Pareho sila ni Stanley when getting serious di mo malalamang slow pa sila sa pagong. She's staring like it was not rude to stare at someone especially sa mukha niya ngayon.

"Hahaha no pagod lang ako. You know pampatulog." She smiled at me.

As I thought the guys won it again kaya nandito kami sa isang club malapit lang sa subdivision namin.

"Belle!!!!!!!!!!" Stanley run to me and hug me. Napaka isip bata parin talaga ng isang to. I hugged him back at tinapik tapik ang likod niya.

"Hey Stanley hands off of Belle." Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi ni Damon. wtf. Bakit ang sama naman ng tingin niya sakin. Siya ba broken hearted. Tsk.

"Pake mo San? Namiss ko lang si Belle. Masyadong naging busy sa buong linggo ng foundation week. Iba talaga pag presidente nang club. Nakakatampo pa nga kasi mas pinapansin niya na si Karl ngayon. Si Karl na daw bagong bestfriend niya. Hehe" aniya while he's hopping papunta sa table naming magkakaibigan.

"Hey, wala akong sinabing ganyan. Kung anu-ano naiisio niyo. Tara na nga medyo gutom na din ako." Sabay iling ko pang sinabi. Nagkataon lang na pareho kaming free ni Karl whenever I'm free kaya kami ang laging magkasama.

" You didn't even watch us practice ganun ka ba ka busy Belle? Dati naman kahit may club duties ka nakaka attend ka pa rin sa mga practice namin. " Damon , tsk. Di ba sinabi ko naman na sa kanya ayaw ko muna siyang makausap ih paano palagi siyang nandun sa practice kaya di ako nagpupunta at aba malay ko din bang sasali siya.

"Himala nga ang pagsali mo Damon. Ilang ulit kang tumanggi last year dahil ayaw mo nang tumugtog." Nagtataka din ako kung bakit siya sumali. Since that day he really dispice playing the drums.

"I just want someone's attention kaya ako tumugtug ulit pero mukhang wala namang pake ang taong yun. It's like wasting my time rehearsing and practicing. Nagpagod lang akong tumugtog ulit. Wala naman palang pake."

Teka ako ba pinariringgan niya.Tsk. As if para kay Angel nanaman ang pagtutug nayun.

"Belle sige na kasi isa lang naman di naman mahirap magsubo ,ahh" Timaan nanaman ng kaunggoyan niya si Karl at nagpapasubo pa sakin. Kinakalabit pa niya nang marahan ang braso ko.

" Tsk. You have your hands with you Karl! Gutom ka, pwes pareho lang tayo. Baka ikaw isawsaw ko sa sauce niyang lumpia mo. " at ang unggoy tinago sa likod niya ang kamay niya. Abnormal.

"Where is my hand Belle?" Hahah I don't know if this still Karl or Stanley I'm talking to.

"Childish. Anong gusto mo?" Ngumisi ang hangal nang sa huli ay napapayag niya akong subuan siya.

"Lumpiang Shanghai but no ketchup please!" Sumigaw pa talaga nakakahiya siya.

Akmang isusubo ko na sana kay Karl ang lumpia nang may kamayng pumigil sa braso ko at sinubo ang lumpiang nasa kamay ko.

"It's delicious. Karl you have your hands. Wag mong hayaang tuluyan kang mawalan ng kamay kung magpapasubo ka pa kay Belle."

Sinamaan ko ng tingin ni Damon si Karl matapos niya yung sabihin. Nakakalito ang mga kinikilos mo Damon. Wag mo akong paasahin please.

"Baka nga masawsaw kapa sa sauce.Haha" sinamaan ko silang lahat nang tumawa sila sa kacornihan ni Damon.

Tsk. Umasa pako.

Matapos naming kumain ay nag order pa sila ng ilang beer. Nasa tamang edad naman na kaming lahat 18 to be axact it's our last year to high school.

"Where is Angel ,Damon? Himala ata hindi ka nabuntot sa girlfriend mo ngayon." tanong ko sa kanya na nagpatigil sa kanya sa pag tawa dahil ka cornihang taglay niya.

"Family Dinner." Sumama nanaman ang tingin niya. Di ko alam kung bakit parang mas galit pa siya sakin dahil dun sa nangyare nung nakaraan. Ako kaya tong nasaktan kaya katakang taka na siya pa yung nagmumukhang apektado samin.

"Ow kaya pala nandito ka samin. Bakit hindi ka nalang sumama sa kanila nang tumahimik naman ang buhay ko. " nagkibit balikat ako nung sabihin ko yun at tinungga ang beer na nasa harap ko.

"Stop drinking Belle and stop calling me Damon."

"Damon"

"Damon"

"Damon"

"And No! I won't stop drinking, Dame"

Paulit ulit ko siyang tinawag na Damon di ko alam kung epekto lang ba to nung beer o ano pero trip kong inisin siya.

"Stop!" At kinaladkad niya ako palabas ng restaubar muntik pakong madapa kung hindi niya lang ako hawak. Tinignan ko lang ang mga kasama namin and assure them na I can handle this.

"Why are you doing this Damon? Sadista kaba? Oh baka gusto mo lang ipamukha sakin na wala talaga akong pag asa sayo! Alam ko naman yun. Tsaka gusto mong malaman bakit hindi ako nanood nang mga practice niyo? Well, kasi nandun ka. Ayaw kong makita ang mukha mo at ang plastic mong barbie."

"f**k! I said stop calling me Damon. Belle. Call me San, That's what you used to call me. Belle I'm sorry kung wala akong nasabi nung nakaraan. Nabigla ako. But please don't stay away from me. Belle you know that you're the only one who can accept me with all of my flaws.Please don't stay away from me. I even played drums again please wag mo naman akong iwasan. I'm your bestfriend remember?" Di ko siya maintindihan. Lasing na ba siya?

"You're selfish. Alin sa pag amin ko ang di mo naintindihan dun. Akala ko ba matalino ka. Nagka girlfriend ka lang naging bobo kana. Okay sige ipapaintindi ko." Sinampal ko siya. Pinagsisihan ko yun pero he deserved it.

"Belle you can hurt me all you want but please stay with me. You know I can't do it if you're not there. Alam mong hindi ko kaya pag wala ka. You're my Belle. Just please wag ganito. Di ko kaya." The way his eyes looks at me para bang nakikiusap siyang wag kong tanggalin ang hangin na nilalanghap niya para lang mabuhay.

"Kaya mo ba akong piliin kaysa kay Angel? Choosing is not easy Damon but this is the only chance you got to make me stay. Choose." And that made him stop. It's Angel Versus ME. Of course he would choose her.

"Anything but that Belle. Not now." Nahimasmasan ako sa sagot niya.See. Alam ko na ang sagot niya pero mas masakit pala pag galing mismo sa kanya. Bakit nga naman siya mamimili ih bestfriend niya lang naman ako. Anong laban ko sa girlfriend.

"Then it's done. If you can't choose me then I'll choose myself." Pero kahit ganun ang sinabi ko salunggat naman ang nararamdaman ko I wanna stay with him kahit na masakit.

He hugged me when I was about to go back. Back hug.

"Please Belle, I promise I will be a good boy just please stay with me. Pangako."

I hate it how I melted just like that.

__

"Philip"

"Isabella"

Pareho kaming nakatingin sa isang white and brown na pomeranian. I am planning to buy a dog.

"What are you doing here Philip. You despise dogs so much." mahina akong tumawa sa mukha niya.

"I-" he sighed " I was planning to buy you a dog since I know how much you love it. Para naman may pagkaabalahan ka. Since you're here choose what you like and I'll pay it for you."

I smiled at tumango nalang. I can't deny free stuffs.

"You are so cute" habang hawak yung brown at puti na pomeranian na aso.

" I'll just prepare the legal documents. Wait here Isabella."

Pumasok na si Philip sa office siguro kasunod nung isang staff dito sa dog shop. Pumili nalang din ako nang mga gamit para sa bagong aso ko.Before Philip came back with the documents ay nabayaranan ko na ang mga pinamiling gamit ko.

" You're wrecking my ego Isabella." parehong pareho ang pagkakakunot nang noo nila ni Damon pag naiinis.

"Haha. I am also rich of course I can pay for it. Philip. Stop frowning nakikita ko na ang wrinkles mo."

" What wrinkles. I am fresh , Isabella" tinawanan ko lang ang pagbubuhat niyaa nang sariling bangko niya.

" Do you have your driver with you?" tumango lang ako at hinarap sa kanya ang pomeranian.

"What are we gonna call him?" kanina ko pa iniisip ang ipapaangalan kaso walang matinong pumapasok sa isip ko.

"Chuck" aniya at sumakay na sa sasakyan niya.

Pinanood ko lang ang sasakyan niyang lagpasan kami ni Chuck.

"Let's go Chuck"