Cleopatra's Firsts

May mga tao na umiibig hindi dahil sa panlabas na anyo. Ang iba nagmahal dahil nahulog sila sa ugali. Pero aminin natin, ang iba sa atin ay nahuhulog dahil sa pisikal na anyo. That is something a lot of people can vouch to, including myself. Para sa ibang tao, ang pagmamahal ay nawawala. Ang iba sadyang dumadating ang araw na hindi na talaga nila nararamdaman. Sa iba naman ay bigla na lang itong naglaho na parang bula. Pero alam natin na ang nawawalang pag-ibig ay maaring matagpuan muli. Then there's another form of love, the one who is capable of killing its victim, and my sister is an expert in that field. My sister is one of the victims of one-sided relationships. It is sad but it's the truth. At masasabi ko rin na naranasan ko rin ang gano'ng uri ng pag-ibig. 'Yong nakakamatay. It happened on February 14th, when my family and I went to attend Vi's wedding. She's my cousin; our grandfathers are brothers. And Alexander asked me to be his dance partner because he doesn't have a date. Kami lang yata ang magkapatid sa dance floor. Late ko na na-realize na ginagamit lang pala ako ng kapatid ko para makasayaw ito sa iba't ibang nagagandahang babae sa dance floor. "Would you please, stop this? I don't want to dance! Ask ate," I hissed when he whirled me around. "Can't you see? She also doesn't want to dance!" "Then give up. All these women have boyfriends and husbands. You will not find a date here. Try a dating site!" "Watch me," he winked, eyeing a couple not too far from us. "It's adultery!" Tumawa ito ng malakas. "Dami mong alam! Not all of them are married." "So, you'll gonna ask them one by one? That is so lame!" "Can you please be a good sister to me, at least for this night only?" "I'll tell mom what you are doing." And then the music started. The games are starting. And the first game game is, as the music changes, guest on the dancefloor will also switch partners. And since everyone on the dancefloor, including us becomes an automatic participants. I wouldn't say I like it. Halos lahat kasi ng mga nando'n ay puro magaganda ,popogi at magkakapreha. At lahat ay halos kilala. Except us. I wanted to run. And my hands are sweating already. Minutes later, they told us to form a circle around the newlywed. Couples are clinging to each other, laughing. Some are kissing, and hands are everywhere. I am not supposed to be watching this horror. I saw mom looking at me. Dad is holding her hand, I can't hear what they are talking about but I am sure Mom is arguing with Dad. Then, the music change, and everyone hurry to find a new partner. A shiver ran into my spine when someone held my waist. "Are you old enough to stay up this late?" He asked, smiling. And I can't even look him in the eye. My heart is beating so fast. I flinched when he grabs my other hand and puts it around his shoulders, then he tilts my head that made me look at him in the eye. That's the first mistake I did that night. Why? because this man has the most beautiful eyelashes I've ever seen for a guy. And I fell in live with his handsome face right that moment. That is what others call love at first sight. But it wasn't really love, just admiration, because when we love someone, we will protect them to whatever things may happen but if something will happened that night, I don't think I want to protect this man. I just want his handsome face though. "I'm Isaiah. And you are?" he asked with a smile that almost took my breath away. Handsome face, a beautiful eyes, and fresh breath, I wonder how many bottles of Listerine he gargled before attending the wedding. "I remember your face! You're one of Exodus' cousins. I'm Kallista." He raised an eyebrow. It took him seconds to recognize my face. "Samirah? Is this really you? How old are you now? Is that your boyfriend with you?" I met Isaiah once since he and his cousins are always in the hacienda. And he is one of those people who call me by my Muslim name, Samirah. I remember the time when I first met him, I was racing with Luke, one of his cousins when he arrived with Exodus and Ezekiel... "Race with me!" Isaiah point his finger at my direction. "No! I want Luke!" I squint my eyes just to look at his face. The sun is behind him so I cannot see his expression clearly. Mom always told me to look at the person in the eye when you're talking to them. But I am having trouble doing it now. "It's the three of us then." I couldn't argue more when Luke nods his head. Ezekiel and Exodus act as our judge and lookout. We're not allowed to race and when my parents find out they will not allow me to ride Kaia anymore. "Ready! Three...Two...One..." When Ezekiel raise his t-shirt, the three of us started to run towards our horses. I am only twelve years old that time, Luke is eighteen and Isaiah seventeen. The first one to reach the falls inside the forest will be the winner. Exodus went there first a while ago. I took the shortest route and I didn't realize Isaiah is just behind me. "No following!" I shouted. "I am not following you!" "I am the only one who know this path!" "Sad to say it's the two of us now." Hindi nito inasahan ang sumunod kong ginawa. Tumayo ako sa likod ng kabayo ko at mabilis na tumalon sa kaniya. Nabigla ang kabayo nito sa biglang bigat kaya lumundag ito at nahulog kaming dalawa sa damuhan. "What the hell are you doing?" asar na tanong nito habang paika-ika na naglalakad sa pinakamalapit na puno. "You could've get us killed. You're crazy!" "That was my secret path. I can't just let you use it." Nakaupo lang ako kung saan kami bumagsak. Masakit din kasi ang paa ko. I think I broke my left leg. "I told you, I know that path. I've been using it plenty of times already." "You're lying! You seldom visit this place since you live in New York." "I used it whenever I'm here!" "I don't believe you!" "Then don't! What are you planning to do now? Our horses are gone!" "Your horse is gone but I can always make mine come back." I put two of my fingers on my mouth to whistle. The sound echoed in the forest. Bigla na rin ako kinabahan nang makalipas ang ilang segundo ay wala pa rin si Kaia. "He's home already! There's only the sound of the birds. I don't think he can hear you anymore." I tried to stand up but my leg hurts so much. "You break an ankle! Great." "Yiu shouldn't follow me! Look what happened!" Naniningkit ang mga mata nito nang tumingin sa akin. "Why do women keeps on blaming someone if they did something wrong? Can't you just accept the fact that sometimes you make mistakes too?" "Isn't it the truth? If you haven't join our race, this would've happened." "What do you want me to do then? Be Dr. Strange so I can go back to where we are thirty minutes ago?" "Just go, will you? Since you know the way, go back there and call my mom." "Do you want me to leave you here?" "Yes duh. If we wait here, there's no telling when they are going to find us." Naglakad ito palapit sa akin. "I'll carry you." "No!" "There might snakes here. I don't know what will happen if I leave you alone. Of you die, I'll be the prime suspect since I am the last person with you." Natakot din ako sa sinabi nito na may mga ahas doon kaya humawak na ako sa balikat nito nang umupo ito sa harap ko para kargahin ako. "Kallista! You're dreaming!" I shake my head and I realized, everyone has change their partners already. "Who's with you?" ulit nito sa tanong nito kanina. I raised my head to answer his questions, "He's my brother Alexander! Do you still remember him? He wanted to dance gorgeous ladies, and that includes your girlfriend!" Isaiah squint his eyes and smile, "I don't mind because I have his sister." When it was time to switch partners one more time, he didn't let go of me like he didn't care if he didn't follow the rules. "How old are you now?" I asked him. "Twenty-seven." "Ow." "Ow, what?" "Ow for awesome," I said, grinning. I started to feel alive. "Did you bring your boyfriend here?" I laugh, "I don't have one. But someone told me he loves me, but he made love to someone else. And then came back to me saying it's okay because they didn't even talk to each other after that." He eyed me curiously. I could see that he was grinning, but it seemed like he didn't want me to see it. "Love is a big word. And it looks like he doesn't really love you." "Do you think I don't know that? Have you been in love before?" "Don't act like you don't remember." "Remember what?" "I told you 'I love you' before!" Napatawa ako nang maalala ko iyon. "Ahhh. I know you don't really meant it." "I meant it, Kallista! If we became together that time, then I'd have reason the stay here in the Philippines." "I am only fourteen that time. Love is not on my vocabulary at that young age." "But if he really loves you, you know, this guy you said, he shouldn't do what he did. Just like what I am supposed to do. I wanted to kiss you, but I can't because I just told someone I love her. ." The music changed, and we switched partners. Isaiah wouldn't let me go at first but it was me who broke the spell. Nang matapos ang unang laro ay mabilis na akong bumalik sa mesa namin ni Alexander ngunit hindi pa ako nakalayo ay may biglang humawak sa kamay ko. "Mamaya ka na bumalik doon. May isa pang laro!" It was my brother of course. It seems like he is the only one who's enjoying the game. "I can't. I am already tired!" "Please, Kalli. I will buy you a new book." He knows that I love reading books and even if he buy me a whole Rick Riordan books, I wouldn't join the next game. "No! Ask ate." Ngunit nahila na ako nito sa gitna at wala na akonh nagawa dahil hindi na pwedeng umalis. Gusto ko nang batukan si Alexander. The next game is finding treasures. They hid something around the reception and wanted all of the single guests to join the game. So I am in, again! I am on Alexander's team, of course. Mom wouldn't allow me to join unless I am with my brother. Isaiah is with his cousin, Genesis Lopez; yes, I know them because Vi married their cousin, Exodus Lopez. Then someone joined our group, Isaiah Lopez. Si Isaiah ang ang medyo hindi ko ka-close sa mga magpipinsan dahil minsan lang naman ito sa Pilipinas. Kapag bakasyon lang. Noong una medyo okay kami dahil lagi ko siyang kasama sa pangangabayo at panggagalugad sa gubat sa loob ng hacienda kasama ang iba pa nitong pinsan. Ngunit dalawang taon matapos ang una naming pagkikita ay bigla itong nanligaw sa akin. I was only fourteen that time. Akala ko nag-jojoke lang siya. I have a crush on him pero hindi ko siya gusto maging boyfriend. Sabi kasi ni Luke marami na daw niligawan si Isaiah sa Almeria at hindi rin nagtatagal ang mga ito dahil kailangan nitong bumalik sa New York. And I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend that time. I just want to keep Isaiah as a friend. At alam ko na kapag sinagot ko siya, maghihiwalay at maghihiwalay pa rin kami. I thought rejecting him will preserve our friendship but I was wrong. When he came back a year after, he keep his distance. He never say hi to me just like he used to do. Lagi rin niya akong dinadalhan ng mga presents ngunit sa pagbalik nito ay hindi na iyon nangyari. Minsan lang din ito pumupunta sa hacienda dahil may mga kaibigan na siya sa bayan. They were always out of town with their female friends. And I am not allowed to go outside the Hacienda. Bumalik ako sa kasalukuyan nang marinig ko ang pamilyar na tunog. I felt the excitement when I see Genesis. "To make it easy for us to find all of the treasures, we need to search separately." And since almost all of them have a girlfriend, naghintay muna ako sa walang ka partner. And I ended up being paired with Isaiah because his girlfriend doesn't want to ruin her dress and make-up for some stupid game. "It's us again," he said with a smile. Oh no! I don't like him smiling at me, so I decided to walk away. And he followed me quitely. We get our first clue and it told us to find the treasure around the comfort room. Tatakbo na sana ako papunta doon nang pinabalik ako ni Alexander. Hinawakan nito ang kamay ko at tinali sa kamay ni Isaiah.The game is fun and perfect sana sa mga couple pero hindi naman kami couple. Kaya naiilang ako. He holds my hand and urges me to walk beside him. Noong nasa hallway na kami ng comfort room ay nakita naman agad namin ang next clue. Nakasabit sa ribbon na nakadikit sa ceiling. "I have to carry you." Walang ano-ano ay sabi nito. "Maybe there's a chair that we can use," I said. "There is, but if you wanted to win and get it faster than our enemies, I will carry you so you can get it." "Fine." I reach for his hair. Muntik na ako mahulog nang tumayo ito. Mabuti na lang at nahawakan agad niya ang dalawa kong kamay. "This is crazy. Violet and Exodus must be in their room already watching us doing this stupid game." "You're not enjoying the game?" "No. Alexander made me play this so he can have a date tomorrow." "Bad for you." Binaba na niya ako sa sahig pero hindi pa rin nito kinuha ang kamay nitong nakahawak sa braso ko. Tumikhim ako, "Do you know where to find this?" I handed him the paper. "I don't have any idea, but let's see where to find it after I pee." Nanlaki and mga mata ko, "Oh no! Not now please." "No one controlled this, okay? I really need to pee. Ayaw ko naman na maaga akong mamatay dahil sa sakit sa bato." "We need to remove the cuff first! I'm not going to the comfort room with you." "The reception is too far. You just need to close your eyes while I take the leak." "I don't want to, please. My dad will get mad if I go inside the comfort room with you!" "I just really want to pee, okay? And he will not know about any of this." I snort. "Just hurry." We went to the men's comfort room together. I turned around when he was about to open his trousers. It only made me shriek in horror when I saw his manhood from the mirror in front of me. "This is so disgusting. s**t s**t shit." I shouted in annoyance. "My gosh. Isaiah, I saw your-" Hinarap ako nito, "Don't make it a big deal. Come on. Let's go back there." "It's a big deal to me! I've never seen a p*nis until today!" Halos hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa nakita ko. "It is not a p*nis. It's a d**k. P*nis is for kids." "I'm gonna tell Vi." "If you do, they will freak out!" "I don't care!" My dad is the one who removes the handcuff. "Look, I didn't expect it to happen either. I thought she's gonna close her eyes." Violet is furious with Isaiah. "She's just a kid," she said over and over again. My dad gathers me in his arms. I was shocked and a little frightened. It turned out, Isaiah was a bit drunk. Exodus is trying to calm Violet. " I can't find Alexander, dad." Alexandria, my sister, looks annoyed. Alexander is her twin. They were seven years older than me. "We'll call it a night. Tomorrow, we will talk." He eyed Isaiah. My dad is a soldier. And I can say that he and mom are both old-fashioned when it comes to a relationship. And I'm afraid of what will happen in the morning. They have been married for almost twenty-nine years already. And if you do the math, they had my twin siblings two years after their wedding. I kissed Vi goodnight. "Sorry for ruining your wedding day." "It's not ruined. I just hate Isaiah for not thinking straight." "Let's go, Kallista." It was my mom. She also kisses Violet. Everyone is still drinking, eating, and talking. I wanted to stay and party, but I'm not sure if my parents will let me stay after what happened. Alexandria is back with her twin Alexander. They fought again. I can read their faces. And I don't want them to fight because of me. "It's not Alexander's fault- I mean, half of it is his fault.' His reactions made my night. It's been part of our day to annoy each other. "Why is it my fault? I didn't ask you to look at him when he took the leak!" "But you asked me to join the game and you partnered me with him!" "Enough, both of you!" Mom said furiously. I wonder what will happen if we keep arguing.