Lightless Sunshine

Chapter 20.3

Chapter 20.3

"Dad..." I said and smiled a bit when Helios stopped in front of our table. Kakatapos lang namin kumain ni Icarus at kasalukuyang nag-uusap nang bigla na lamang dumating ang tatay ko.

"Sir," Icarus stood up and politely bow down his head. "Good evening po. I'm Icarus Del Cianco,"

Naghandshake ang dalawa bago nagsalita si Helios. "You are... Mr. Vinnunt's son, aren't you?"

Icarus smiled. "Yes, sir."

My dad nodded his head. "Interesting. By the way, how are you related to my daughter? Are you, perhaps, her boyfriend?"

Umawang ang labi ko.

Ngumiti ulit si Icarus at bahagyang umiling. "No po. We're just friends," aniya.

Napatango naman si Helios at nilingon ako. His face was blank and stoic. His jaw were hardly clenching. "You're not dating her?"

Icarus uncomfortably cleared his throat. "Uh... pardon?"

Ngumisi si Helios.

"She's still young," biglang saad niya.

Natigilan si Icarus.

"Y-Yes, I know po..."

Helios then looked at me.

"Let's get back to our table? Your tita and sisters are waiting at us,"

Waiting? That's probably a lie.

Napatingin tuloy ako kay Icarus dahil sa sinabi ni Helios. He met my gaze and flashed a small smile.

I felt embarrassed for Helios' behaviour towards him. He indirectly told Icarus to back off. Itong gurang na'to talaga.

Baka na-offend na pala ito si Icarus or what. That was embarrassing. Magkaibigan lang naman kami, eh.

"Go ahead," he mouthed at me.

"Excuse us," sabi ko sa maliit na boses.

Tumango si Icarus.

Nakakapit ang kamay ko sa braso ni Helios habang naglalakad kami pabalik sa table. Dahan-dahan ang aming paglalakad. I could feel the stares of the guests as we walked slowly to the aisle. Some of them probably knew me as Helios' daughter pero alam kong may iba pa ring nagtataka kung sino ako at kung bakit ako narito.

"Stop seeing that young man." Helios suddenly said in a low voice.

"H-Ho?"

"I don't like him for you. Stop seeing him."

Napatigagal ako.

"It's n-not what you think it is, dad... He's just my friend."

"Stay away from him." matigas niyang saad.

"W-what— why?" nauutal kong tanong. My heart started to beat fast. "D-dad,"

"Follow what I say. Do you understand?"

Naguluhan ako ngunit tumango na lang ako upang matigil na ang usapan. I don't know his reasonings but I'm certain to myself I won't follow what he said.

"O-Okay..."

Nilunok ko ang nagbara sa lalamunan ko.

Habang naglalakad kami ay may naramdaman akong maitim na titig sa akin. It sent me goosebumps. I don't why. I roamed my eyes around the whole place pero wala isa sa mga taong nakatingin sa akin ang may ganoong titig.

Malagkit at nakakatakot.

"What's the problem?" tanong ni Helios, marahil ay napansin ang paglibot ko ng tingin sa paligid.

Kumurap ako ng dalawang beses at nagbuntong hininga.

Helios brows shot up in confusion when he got no answer from me.

"N-nothing," I cleared my throat. "Nothing." Ulit ko at napakurap ulit.

His thick brows sloped downward as he looked at me. His brown eyes reminds me of my brother all of a sudden. Umiwas agad ako ng tingin nang makaramdam ng guilt.

Nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad hanggang sa mapahinto kami sa table namin. Quinn and Luna was there. And kambal naman ay hindi ko alam kung nasaan.

Matapos kong makaupo roon ay hindi naman nagtagal ay tumayong muli si Helios upang makipag-socialized sa mga bisita. Kasama niya ay ang asawang si Luna. Naiwan naman kami ni Quinn sa table

"You're enjoying too much, bitch." Quinn smiled mockingly and threw a sideway glance at me.

I sighed and looked away. "Yes," I answered. "I'm enjoying. Super,"

She laughed evily. "Wow, the audacity."

"Thanks," I sarcastically said.

"Ang saya ipakilala at ipagmalaki sa harap ng maraming tao, right?" pagpapatuloy niya. "'Yung tipong, sa wakas, after so many years, inilabas ka na rin sa hawla at ipinaharap sa maraming tao."

Hindi ko siya pinansin. Nanatili akong tahimik.

"Very heart touching..." she said with a sarcastic humor on her voice.

Napakunot nalang ang aking noo. She's really a b***h. Bata pa lang pero ang sungay mas matanda pa sa mga ninuno namin.

"I'll stop talking nonsense if I were you, Quinn. Sinasayang mo lang ang laway mo,"

She giggled this time. "Are you wondering why my dad brought you here, hmm, sissy?" sabi niya bago humarap sa akin.

Hindi ko siya pinagtuonan ng pansin at uminom nalang sa cocktail ko.

"Do you wanna hear it, my dear sister?" she mischievously added.

"Nope." I shook my head. "No, thanks. Save it to yourself. I don't need it. I don't need anything from you."

"How sure are you?"

"Shut it." I said dismissively and rolled my eyes. I really hate talking to her. Kung dati ay matutuwa ako kapag nagkakausap kami, ngayon naman ay parang lason na ang kaniyang boses para sa akin. Her voice and words were like a sharp dagger, it strikes every veins on my body that I became used to it already. I'm numb of it. "Just save it yourself and stay quiet. Your voice is irritating." dagdag ko.

Pero mukhang wala naman siyang narinig at wala naman siyang pakialam sa sinabi ko, nagpatuloy siya sa pagsasalita.

"You know, Sunny. I really do hate you..." she said.

"The feeling is mutual, so stop talking."

"But you are my sister still, I do hope for the best of you." she said and giggled.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "What kind of best, huh? Iyon bang mapapahiya ako sa harapan ng mga tao, masasampal ng mama mo, mabubugbog ulit ni daddy, o iyong ikakamatay ko na?" mariing singhal ko. "Tss. Ganiyan ba, ha, Quinn? Iyan ba ang gusto mong mangyari? f**k you, you ungrateful bitch."

She was taken aback. Nawala ang mapaglarong ngisi sa labi niya. She looks like a kid na naagawan ng laruan.

Matalim ko siyang tiningnan.

"Pity of you, Sunny." she suddenly said.

Slowly, the corner of her lips rose up.

Nakaramdam naman ako ng kaba.

"My dad wants you to marry his business partner's son to merge the two largest oil company in the near future," she said and arched one of her brows.

Napahinto ako. My body was too shock that my mind went blank for a couple of seconds until it finally sank in to my head.

"His name is Harper Nacino. A notorious playboy and manwhore,"

My eyes widened and my lips parted.

"I overheard dad was talking to Harper's father about your engagement. They're gonna set you up for a marriage, b***h. Poor you,"

My heart was racing fast and it was painfully tugging inside my rib cage. Nanginginig at nanlalamig ang katawan ko.

She laughed.

"Do you really think my dad would let you come with us here without a convenient and other reason, huh? You raised your hopes too high only to get disappointed, Sunny."

Nagsimula ng mangilid ang luha sa aking mga mata. My fist balled. Nanginginig ako ngayon sa sobrang galit. Galit, sakit at pagkadismaya.

"Why would I believe you?" nasikap kong matanong sa kaniya. My voice was about to break. "You are a cunning person, Quinn."

Ngumiti siya nang matamis.

"That's not my problem anymore. Believe me or not, it's up to you. I don't care."

Ang kaniyang ngiti ay unti-unting naging mapangutyang ngisi. Tiningnan niya ako mula ulo hanggang paa.

"Being a Madrigal won't make you less shitty, Sunshine. Being a Madrigal won't make you regal. Stop being so delusional," she said. "If I were you, hindi mo na sana pinagsiksikan ang sarili mo sa pamilya namin. Now looks what gonna happen? We'll use you. You were about to be a puppet on this family."

"I am no one's puppet." mariin kong sabi.

"News flash, now you are." tawa niya. "Poor you, dad doesn't sees you as his daughter... He looks at you, more on like," tiningnan niya ako sa mga mata, "his mistake..."

I bit my trembling lips as I looked at her sharply. "You are bullshit." I hissed.

She scoffed. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. "Why don't you ask him yourself? Go on, ask him. Papalapit na siya. Beside him is Mr. Nacino, on the back of them is Harper, your fiance."

Napahugot ako nang malalim na hininga nang makita ang tinutukoy ni Quinn.

Kinurap ko ang gustong kumalawang luha sa aking mata at linunok ang bara sa lalamunan.

Humagikhik sa aking gilid si Quinn at bahagyang umusog palayo sa akin.

Gusto ko siyang sabunutan at saktan pero hindi ko magawa.

Kumalabog ang puso ko nang mapansing malapit na sila sa aming direksyon. I can already hear their voices.

"They would be a perfect couple once they got married, right Mr. Madrigal?" A man with his mid 50's said.

"Yes, they would." maikling sagot naman ni Helios sa kausap.

Parang gusto kong umiyak ngayon. Halo halong emosyon ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. I felt betrayed and used.

Sa mga oras na ito, parang gusto kong paniwalaan si Quinn. He would arrange me to a marriage and worse, just because they wanted to enlarge their companies by merging to one another. And it's only possible if their families were going to unify.

Mas lalong nanlamig ang buong katawan ko nang magtama ang paningin namin noong lalaki. Sa tingin ko ay mga nasa bente pa lang ito.

He has this playfulness expression on his face while looking at me. Malagkit ang pagkakatingin niya sa akin nang medyo bumaba ang tingin niya sa aking dibdib. Gusto kong takpan ang sarili ngayon kahit na may suot naman akong tela. Para akong hubad at lantad na lantad kung makatingin siya sa akin.

I cleared my throat and averted my gaze at him.

Umiling ako at ngumisi. I made sure to erase my emotions. I don't want Quinn or anyone feel the satisfaction if they sees me weak.

I am no one's toy.

"These are my daughters," I heard Helios said pero hindi man lang ako nagpatinag o lumingon man lang doon.

Tumayo si Quinn. "Hi dad. Hello po, sir." she sweetly greeted them.

"Hello, young lady. Pleased to meet you," the old man said.

"Likewise, sir." nakangiting sabi ni Quinn dito.

"You must be Sunshine?" tanong nito.

Quinn giggled as she shook her head. "No po, I am Quinn Hazel. " sabi niya. "She's Sunshine," turo niya sa akin.

On my peripheral vision, I saw how their heads snapped on my direction.

I stayed unmoving.

Natatakot ako.

Nasasaktan.

I felt so betrayed...

"Sunshine." There was a warning on Helios voice.

Gusto kong umiyak...

Gusto kong tumakbo.

Gusto kong lumayo.

Pero wala akong magawa...

I feel so helpless.

Tumikhim ako at pilit na ngumiti. Nilingon ko sila. "I... I'm sorry... come again?" I asked, sinikap kong hindi pumiyok ang aking boses na siya namang napagtagumpayan ko.

Helios looked at me seriously.

Napalunok ako at dahan-dahang tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo.

"What a beautiful young lady," rinig kong papuri sa akin ni Mr. Nacino.

Napayuko ako at itinago ang mga kamay sa likuran. Pinisil ko ang sarili upang pigilan ang pagluha. "T-thanks,"

"You're pretty much welcome. By the way I'm Jackson Nacino. And this young man beside me is my son. I would like you to meet him, miss...?"

"Sunshine po."

"Oh, right. Miss Sunshine." he chuckled before he faced his son. "Introduce yourself, son."

Tumango naman ang huli.

"Hi, I'm Harper. It's nice meeting you, Sunshine." he extended his arms for a handshake.

I gulped hard.

Tiningnan ko muna ang reaksyon ni Helios.

There was no emotion on his face.

He nodded at me.

I looked at Harper's hands once again before taking it.

"Nice meeting you..." I whispered.

Matagal bago niya pinakawalan ang kamay ko.

They joined us on our table. Nag-usap si Helios at ang tatay nitong si Harper. Si Quinn naman ay umalis. Katapat kong upuan ay ang lalaking ilang taon lang ang tanda sa akin. Maitim siyang nakatitig sa direksyon ko na para bang nasa kaniyang harapan ang pinakainteresanteng bagay sa buong mundo.

Tahimik lamang ako buong pag uusap ng mga nakakatanda. My heart was too heavy. I don't wanna believe Quinn. Maybe she was just pranking me again. Ayaw kong makasal. Ayaw kong makasal sa taong hindi ko gusto.

"After her college graduation, maybe we can set up a date for their wedding, what do you think?" Mr. Nacino said.

Napakurap ako nang magising ang aking naglalakbay diwa.

"That's okay with me as long as at the end of the day, they would get married." Helios coldly answered.

Kumuyom ko ang mga kamao.

"Is it okay with your daughter? Although I like her for my son, she may be disagree with this."

"She doesn't have a choice either."

Nagtawanan sila. It was as if they share some joke only the two of them understood. While they were laughing, here I am, hurting.

Nagtagis ang bagang ko.

"So, it's settled then?" anito. "When is their engagement?"

"Yes. We'll discussed it soon. On a formal meeting." Helios stood up and fix the crease of his suit.

"I'm looking forward for it, Mr. Madrigal." tumayo na rin ang dalawa. "Thank you for your time,"

They shook their hands.

"Yeah, no problem."

Nang mawala na sila sa harapan namin ay doon ko na tinanong si Helios.

"Dad, what was that?"

He faced me. "Don't humiliate me in front of my guests, Sunshine. I don't like what you did earlier."

Nangilid ang luha ko.

"Q-Quinn said...you'd arrange me to a marriage on that guy." gumaralgal ang boses ko. Tiningala ko siya at doon na umagos ang masaganang luha sa aking magkabilang pisngi. "D-Dad..." I uttered.

Malamig lamang siyang nakatingin sa akin.

Parang nadudurong ang puso ko.

"You are not allowed to disobey." his voice was full of finality.

Napatakip ako sa aking bibig at hindi makapaniwalang napailing. Umiiyak na tumakbo ako papalabas sa hall na iyon at agad na sumakay sa dumaraang taxi. Nagpahatid ako sa bahay namin at nagkulong sa kwarto.

Hindi naman nagtagal ay narinig ko na ang tunog ng sasakyan nila na paparating.

Pinunasan ko ang luha.

Mabilis ang galaw kong naligo ako at nagpalit ng damit. After kong maligo ay nagtanong ako sa isa sa mga kasambahay sa bahay kung nasaan ba si Helios. Tumango ako at nagpasalamat matapos nilang sabihin kung nasaan siya.

I knocked three times on his office room before twisting the knob open.

My tears abruptly fell.

"Dad..."

Lumuhod ako sa kaniyang harapan.

"Dad...please, I don't want it. Ayaw ko po. Ayaw ko, dad."

I thought I was going to change his mind if I convince him. But he's colder than ice. His heart was hard as rock. His decision was firm.

Sinampal niya ako gamit ang likod ng kaniyang kamay.

It feels like my body went numb. Hindi ako makagalaw o makapagsalita man lang. Umiiyak ako at hindi makapaniwala.

Parang kanina lang ang saya ko. Pinakakilala niya ako sa mundong ginagalawan at iyong tingin na ibinibigay niya sa akin kanina ay tila ba ay totoo. The way he looked at me earlier was so fatherly.

But I guess I'm wrong.

Tama si Quinn. Dad would never ever love such mistake as me.

Tears instantly fell into my cheeks non-stop. I tried to wipe it off but to no avail.

"Dad... ayoko. Please, ayoko." humihikbing sabi ko habang nakaluhod sa kaniyang harapan.

"You don't have the rights to disobey me. You are just my child." aniya sa nanliliksik na mga mata.

"Dad! No... Please, I'll do e-everything but not this... Ayaw ko... Ayaw kong makasal. Please, dad..."

Hinawakan ko ang kaniyang kamay ngunit tinabig niya lamang ito.

"Leave my office. Now!" sigaw niya.

Umiling-iling ako at tumayo mula sa pagkakaluhod. "N-No, you can't do this me... Anak mo rin ako, dad! I'm still your daughter... Why are you so unfair to m-me?" puno ng hinanakit na pagtangis ko.

Humagolhol ako. I wanted so bad to protest but I know I can't do anything. Nakikitira lamang ako sa kanila... Palamunin lamang ako.

Helios slapped me once again.

Natumba ako sa sahig at nalasahan ang sariling dugo sa labi.

"You choose, leave this house or you follow me." he hissed. The veins on his neck was visible. "My house, my rule."

Humihikbing nag-angat ako ng tingin. "You don't love me..."

Hindi siya sumagot.

"You never loved me..." dagdag ko at nabasag ang boses. "I hate you..."

Dumurugo ang pusong tinalikuran ko siya at tumakbo palabas sa kwartong iyon.

Hindi ko siya kayang tingnan pa. I thought he love me because he agreed on letting me stay in this house. Akala ko mahal na niya ako kaya pumayag siyang palitan ang apelyido ko ng sa kaniya. Akala ko mahal na niya ako kasi pinayagan niya na akong tawagin siyang daddy... Akala ko tanggap na niya ako. Buong akala ko mahal na niya ako.

My dad will never love me... and it hurts.

Para sa kaniya isa lamang akong pagkakamali. Isa lamang akong palamunin. An excess baggage. Sakit sa ulo at sakit sa paningim. He doesn't want me first hand. He doesn't like my existence.

He despise me for being his child. He loathed me for having his blood. Kinamumuhian niya ako dahil isa lamang akong pagkakamali.

It was a big slap for me.

I was so delusional.

Naaawa ako sa sarili ko.

Nakakaawa ako...

A desperate b***h who forced herself to someone who doesn't want her at all.

Walang emosyon akong nakatitig sa sariling repleksyon sa loob ng aking banyo. Nakatayo ako sa harapan ng salamin, puno ng luha ang mata, namumula ang mukha sa sampal, at may sugat sa gilid ng labi.

While looking intently at my very own eyes, all I could see was nothing but hollowness.

I smiled bitterly at myself.

I suddenly remember my mother. Her soft voice, her sweet smiles, her warm hug, and her kisses. I missed her so much.

Nawala ang ngiti ko.

Kung nandito lang sana si mama... siguro hindi ko na kailangang ipagsiksikan ang sarili ko rito. Her presence alone is enough to fill this hollowness in my chest.

But then again, she's already dead... And sadly, it was because of me.

Gosh, Sunshine. You're pitiful.

Huminga ako nang malalim bago yumuko sa sink at naghilamos ng aking mukha. Nilinis ko ang sugat na natamo. Namumula ang buong mukha ko at sa tingin ko'y magkakapasa ako nito mamaya o bukas.

To: Icarus

I need you...

Minutes passed, I saw myself sitting on the swing. Malalim na ang gabi ngunit maliwanag naman ang paligid. In front of the park was the convenience store. Kasama ko siya ngayon at nakaupo sa katabing swing ko.

We were eating our favorite ice cream while chit-chatting. Mostly, I would tease him by calling him kuya.

"How are you feeling?" he asked tenderly after our laughters died down. His voice was calm and a music to my ears that I quickly closed my eyes and savoured its serenity.

I felt my tears trying its way out from my eyes. I bit my lower lip. I was glad Icarus was fast enough to come over when I badly needed him.

"My life is messed up, Ica." saad ko.

"Your mouth as well," aniya kaya napamulat ako ng mga mata at sinaaman siya ng tingin. "What? I'm serious. Para ka kasing bungi kung kumain. Tss."

Pinunasan niya ang bibig ko gamit ang kaniyang kamay.

Sumimangot ako. "Masarap ba sa'yo?" turo ko sa ice cream. We bought Cornetto earlier. And sa kaniya ay chocolate habang akin naman ay vanilla.

"Hmm," inilapit niya iyon sa bibig ko kaya mabilis naman akong kumagat doon.

"Aww! My head!" I groaned.

"'Wag mo kasing biglain." natatawang saad niya. "Dilaan mo lang kasi,"

"Pota 'tong ice cream mo, ah?"

"Lol," he chuckled. "So, you were saying?" tukoy niya sa sinasabi ko kanina.

"Tss. Hayan na naman, na-change topic na naman tayo." natawa ako.

Pagkuwan ay sumeryoso ako at humugot ng malalim na hininga.

Umiwas ako ng tingin.

"Helios wants me to marry his business partner's son,"

I felt him stopped.

Umihip nang malakas ang hangin at tumama iyon sa aking pisngi. Suminghap ako nang malalim bago nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita.

"I said no... I declined. I disagree with it." pumiyok ang boses ko. "Umuwi ako ng bahay at doon nagkasagutan kami. I tried to talk to him pero ayaw niyang makinig sa akin. I begged but to no avail, his decision was too firm."

I laughed humorlessly.

Naramdaman ko ang marahang paghaplos niya sa aking kamay bago iyon ipinagsiklop sa kaniya.

His callous hand was somehow made me safe. And then right here, right now, I know I made the right thing to do when I called him.

Our eyes met at namumungay ang kaniyang mata habang diretsong nakatingin sa akin. He was looking at nothing but me. Only me.

Tumulo ang luha ko.

"Ayaw kong makasal, Icarus... Hindi sa taong hindi ko mahal. I don't want that... A-Ayoko," pumiyok ang boses ko.

His eyes softened even more. Umiigting man ang kaniyang panga ay masuyo niya pa ring inilapat ang hintuturo sa aking pisngi at pinunasan ang aking luha.

"They planned to get us wed after I graduate on college... Sobrang bata ko pa.. Ayaw ko... I want to explore first. I don't want to tie the knot. Gusto ko... gusto ko pang patunayan ang sarili ko. And marriage is the least thing I could think. I can't see myself marrying at a young age... "

His jaw was hardly clenching. "Hush, everything's going to be fine. You can still do that. I am not saying you disobey your father but... if you think it is not good for you, then choose yourself. Choose what your heart says."

Ngumiti ako nang mapakla. "You don't know dad. He's ruthless... Lahat gagawin no'n masunod lang ang gusto niya. Natatakot ako sa posibleng gawin niya sa kung sakaling hindi ko siya sundin," fear crept in my chest as I imagine what would going to happen to me once I did not follow his instruction. The last time I did, he beat me up to death that I had to absent on my class because I can't even move a fingers.

Icarus' hand on mine tightened its grip as his jaw clenched. Anger and concerns was on his eyes. Bigla niya akong kinabig upang yakapin at ipinatong ang kaniyang ulo sa tuktok ng aking ulo. I cried on his chest and he kept on rubbing my back.

"Does he still hurting you?" tanong niya habang patuloy sa paghagod sa aking likuran at panakanakang hinahalikan ang aking ulo.

I could only nod my head as a response. Kahit ang aminin iyon ay napakahirap. Ang hirap magbahagi ng nararamdaman. I am only thankful kasi si Icarus ang nandito. I know he would understand me. I know he wouldn't comfort me just because he pity me. Alam kong makikinig lang siya sa akin. He will always there for me.

I am only this vulnerable with him. Hindi ako umiiyak sa harapan ng ibang tao o magpakita man lang ng emosyon sa tuwing nasasaktan ako. Only Icarus can makes my vulnerable side open. Whenever he's near, I felt like a fragile person. Mabilis matawa ngunit kasing bilis ding maiyak. I broke down not just once but countless of times while having him beside me.

"Do you want me to report it to the police?" masuyong tanong niya. That wasn't the first time he asked me that. Noong nalaman niyang binugbog ako dati ni Helios ay kulang na lang ay sumabog siya sa sobrang galit.

I shook my head. He wanted to jail my dad and I don't want that... He is still my father afterall. Kahit pagbabaliktarin ko man ang mundo, tatay ko siya. There were times I wanted to say ill words towards him pero nakokonsenya rin naman ako pagkatapos. I can't do that to my father.

"N-no... don't." I sobbed and clutched his shirt. Nanatili akong umiyak sa kaniyang dibdib kahit na medyo nahihirapan sa posisyon namin. Nahulog ang sorbetes ko sa sahig ngunit wala na akong paki-alam pa roon.

Nagtaas baba ang kaniyang mga balikat na para bang pinipigilan niya ang kaniyang sarili.

"I can't take it anymore, Sunhine...Fuck it." he hissed. Tumayo siya at kinabig ako patayo upang mayakap ng maayos.

"No... Please, no..." Paulit ulit kong sabi at umiling. "He's my d-dad. Ayoko siyang makulong."

"You're too selfless, Sunshine. Please..." his voice cracked, "stop it."

Itinulak ko nang bahagya ang aking sarili upang matingnan siya. We were still hugging each other. I looked at his hazel brown eyes and all I could feel was home... and comfort.

His eyes were already misty because of tears. He looks like he's in a deep pain, too.

"I-Icarus," tawag ko sa kaniya. "I don't wanna go home tonight.."

He looekd at me questioningly.

Mabilis akong umiling bago pa siya makapagsalita. Pinunasan ko ang mga sariling luha at kinagat ang ibabang labi. "Can I sleep on your place tonight?"

His lips parted.

"Just tonight, don't worry. Ayoko lang umuwi muna sa bahay. I don't wanna see a-anyone of them. Uuwi lang din ako bukas ng umaga." I said and blinked my eyes adorably. Pinilit kong ngumiti sa kaniya. "Pretty please?"

He heave a deep sigh and shook his head. "Sunshine, it's not appropriate, do you know that?"

Napatungo ako at dahan-dahang tumango. "I know pero..." nag angat ulit ako ng tingin sa kaniya. Ngumisi ako. "... wala ka naman sigurong gagawing masama sa akin, 'di ba?" I joked.

Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin. "Baka ikaw pa ang may gawin sa akin."

"Luh?" I laughed.

He laughed, too. "Silly."

I bit my inner cheeks. "Sige na, please?"

Umiling ulit siya at tumikhim. Sumeryoso ang kaniyang mukha at nakasalubong na naman ang makakapal niyang kilay.

He c****d his head. "You're safe with me, always. But, Sunny, it's not just right..."

I scoffed and pushed him away. "Kung iyong mga babae mo okay lang pero sa akin bawal?"

"Hey, it's not like that. And I don't bring women in my pad for Christ's sake."

I pouted my lips. "Wala naman siguro silang iisipin na masama. I look like your younger sister."

His eyes suddenly darkened ang his jaw clenched. I stuck my tongue out. Umirap ako.

Nawala naman kaagad ang pagdilim ng kaniyang mga mata. He cleared his throat.

"Baka hanapin ka sa inyo,"

I snorted. It was the funniest thing I have ever heard. "That's impossible. Wala namang pakialam si Helios sa akin at mga kasamahan ko roon sa bahay. They only mind their own businesses and I am none of their cornern." I bitterly said and looked away.

Natahimik ulit kami. I felt a sudden lump in my throat as I felt my eyes stinging.

I bit my lower lip to suppress my sob trying to come out from my mouth. Nangilid ang luha ko.

"No one cares of me. No one's gonna look after me. No one's gonna miss for me once I vanish..." I whispered and my heart ached.

I sighed heavily.

My heart was painfully clenching. Hindi ako makahinga ng maayos sa sobrang bigat at sikip ng dibdib ko.

My tears fell.

"Ah, I love my life..."