Lightless Sunshine

Chapter 20.2

Chapter 20.2

Hindi ako makatulog...

I kept tossing on my bed, thinking about what happened that night. That kiss. That passionate moment. That memory. It's been a week since that happened but it was still giving me hard sleeping. I kept myself preoccupied the whole week on the school. No'ng weekend naman ay nagtrabaho ulit ako sa isang coffee shop na matagal tagal ko na ring pinapasukan. I did my very best to divert my mind from thinking off him.

But he seems like a virus who entered my system and messed it up. That kiss gave me a f*****g sleepless nights...and I hate it. I hate myself for thinking of it. I hate myself for giving it a value. I hate myself for bothering over that thing.

For sure, he wasn't bothered about it at all. Alam kong wala lang iyon sa kaniya. He's used to it. At alam ko ring pinagsisisihan niya iyong nangyari noong nakaraan.

Tomorrow morning after he sent me home, nagpadala siya ng mensahe sa akin saying he was so sorry for kissing me. I understood his side but still, I cannot help but to feel hurt, insulted and offended. My ego was being tramped.

Simula nang gabing iyon, hindi na kami masyadong nag-iimikan sa tuwing magkakasalubong kami sa school. We're being casual towards each other every damn time our eyes would meet. Hindi ko alam kung ako lang ba ang nakakaramdam ng awkwardness dahil mukhang ayos lang naman na sa kaniya iyon. I would just pretended that it's okay for me, too.

However, earlier, I couldn't take to prolong this awkwardness around us. I called him through phone and decided to talk to him about what happened last week.

We cleared things out between us and finally, we got back to our usual bonding. We even went to park and hang out while eating an ice cream.

"Hays..." I sighed and groaned loudly.

Napapikit ako nang mariin at napagdesiyonang manood nalang ng mga t****k videos para libangin ang sarili. I also posted a video of mine while lip syncing. I added it on my stories on IG and f*******:.

Matutulog na sana ako nang may kumatok sa aking pintuan.

Kumunot ang noo ko. It's already past midnight. "Manang?" I called out loud.

"This is me." A cold, baritone voice said.

Napabalikwas ako ng bangaon.

My eyes widened. Dali-dali kong inayos ang aking buhok at napalunok.

Kinakabahan man ay dahan dahan kong binuksan ang pintuan.

"Yes?" I asked, formality was on my voice.

Helios stood in front of my room wearing his office suit. His hands was in his pocket while looking so intimidating. He was so tall. Probably around 6'2. He doesn't look old, he looks exactly like Travis in a mature way. No wonder women were sticking around with him. His feature was beyond perfection. Handsome, wealthy, and smart.

But the thing is, he doesn't love me at all...

I mentally chuckled.

"Why aren't you sleeping yet?" he asked, his brows was furrowed. Muntik ng mapataas ang kilay ko. He cleared his throat. "Well, nevermind."

"Bakit po pala?" tanong ko.

Umayos siya nang tayo. "I'll be bringing you next week. Just wanna inform you so that you can clear your schedule that time, if there's any."

Naguluhan ako. "Uhm, saan po?"

"Our company's anniversary celebration." maikling sagot niya sa akin.

Tumango ako. Wala naman akong lakad next week at natapos naman na ang midterm namin kaya wala na ring aalahanin sa school. Sa trabaho ko namanay pwede naman akong makapagpaalam habang maaga pa. "Alright..."

"I'll send someone to help you fix your dress." he said.

"Sure," I said dismissively before forcing a smile. "Matutulog na po ako."

"Okay, good night."

And just like that, he nodded and walked away. Ako naman ay sinirado na rin ang pintuan at humiga na sa kama.

Now, I wonder, why would he bring me with him? Malabo naman sigurong ipakilala at ipagmalaki niya ako sa mga bussiness colleagues niya, right? That's the least thing I could even imagine. It's beyond impossible.

Series of questions flooded my head.

Why would he bring me to that anniversary celebration? What does he want me to do? What does he want? Why would he bring someone insignificant?

Is he gonna introduce me to his world? Ipapakilala ba niya ako? I'm not assuming or something like expecting, but I cannot helo but to wonder. I have this hunch that something is up. I do just hope it won't hurt and disappoint me...

Days went fast. Kaydali lang ng mga araw at sa isang kurap, heto ako ngayon at nagpe-prepara na para sa gaganaping selebrasyon mamaya.

The make-up artist at the same my personal assistant today made me wore a simple yet elegant red dress. Naka-three inch heel rin ako. My make-up was light and my brown hair was flowing freely on my waist. Hanggang ngayon ay naninibago pa rin ako sa haba nito.

Pagkalabas ko ng kwarto ay nagulat ako nang magkasabay kaming lumabas ni Quinn. Fourth year high school na siya ngayon at nagsisimula na ring humubog ang katawan niya. She's starting to become a lady. Ako naman ay ilang buwan na lang ang aabutin, disiotso na rin.

Halos walang pinagkaiba ang suot namin maliban nalang sa kulay. Hers was pale pink. Saglit kaming nagkatinginan bago nag-iwasan. There was still a thick wall between us. Both of us were prideful that's why none of us apologise, even once, none. She's still a b***h herself but I'm already used to it, truthfully speaking.

Nauna siyang bumaba sa hagdanan at sumunod naman ako. It's my first time to attend such event, big event to be specific. Kinakabahan ako ngunit nanaig pa rin sa akin ang kagustuhang makadalo at makihalubilo, especially dahil halos maimpluwensya at mayayaman ang dadalo roon.

Sumakay kami sa limousine kasama si Helios at ang asawa nito. Si Travis at Trisha naman ay iisang kotse lang ang ginamit paputa sa naturang venue.

I sighed and silently pinched myself to ease my nervousness.

Pagkarating sa naturang hotel ay pinagbuksan kami ng driver ng pintuan. Naunang lumabas si Helios at Luna at magkasunod naman kami ni Quinn.

Flashes of cameras and desperate medias greeted us.

A bouncer guided us from the main entrance to the elevator. May mga trusted media sa loob ng hall kaya 'di na kailangang huminto ni Helios doon sa mga interviewer sa labas.

Nang makarating sa hall ay kaunti pa lang ang mga taong na roon. Host were on staged to entertain the visitors and guests.

Pagkapasok naming lahat ay may sumalubong na kaagad kay Helios na bisita at nagkumustahan sila. They're all wearing formal suits. It got me intimated, honestly.

Umupo kami sa isang round table sa harapan. Kaharap ko ay si Quinn at katabi naman nito ay si Luna na ina niya. Helios was talking with somebody, precisely his colleagues in this world of business.

May lumapit sa aking waiter at sinabihang tinatawag umano ako ni Helios.

"This must be your daughter?" parinig kong saad nang kausap niya.

Helios looked at me and flashed a soft smile. It was so fatherly and so real. I wonder if it was a fake or genuine. He does not smile at me like that.

"Yes, she is. Beautiful, isn't she?" Helios uttered with a tone of pride on his voice. It was kind of taken aback.

"Of course, she's beautiful. She got your look, Mr. Madrigal." anito habang nakatingin sa akin. He's a guy, I think around mid 40's.

Nagkatawanan silang dalawa. Uminit naman ang pisngi ko. Kung dahil ba sa kaba or sa galak dahil sa sinabi ni Helios, hindi ko matukoy.

"Thanks, " I shyly smiled.

"How old is she?" dagdag na tanong nito.

"She's seventeen,"

"Oh, she does look like a woman. I never thought she's still a underage. What a beautiful daughter you have, Helios."

May iba pang lumapit kina Helios at no'ng lalaki. They were talking about business. Nasa gilid lang ako ni Helios at attentive sa pinag-uusapan. Helios also introduced me to them as his daughter and I couldn't help but to feel overwhelmed.

My chest tightened in so much happiness I didn't know I would feel again after so many years of grieving for my mother's death and also for blaming myself for my stepfather's suicide.

I couldn't help but to feel valuable and happy. My happiness was beyond the expectation.

Since the day I was born... finally, he's accepting me now. He finally recognized me.

Simpleng pagpapakilala lang 'yun pero parang gusto ko'ng maiyak sa tuwa. Para akong nakalutang sa ulap ng saya. This feeling was too overwhelming I don't think I can bear it.

I pursed my lips tightly to suppressed my smile. I feel like I'm on a cloud nine.

"Let's go. You must me tired,"

"Yes, dad." I uttered and bow down my head a bit. He held my elbow and we sat on the table were his family was seated.

It was still awkward to have them stick around me kahit na dalawang taon naman na simula noong tumira ako sa bahay nila. Nakakailang lalo na't alam ko namang ayaw nila sa akin. They don't like me.

Ang kambal naman ay walang naging komento sa pagtira ko kasama sila pero ramdam ko ring disguto sila sa presensya ko room.

I may be dumb but I am not numb not to feel it.

Ilang minuto makalipas mula nang makaupo ako ay tumayo na si Helios sa harapan ng stage at nagsalita. He speaks like a very confident man. Prim, intimating and superior.

If I am not mistaken, he has an oil company. He's the leading businessman from a decade now. He was pacing back and fort from different countries but most of the time, he was in Saudi to Philippines. That was all I knew aside from the fact that his bloodline are old-rich family, and Luna was a sort of royalty from her origin country.

Nakakalula ang yaman nila.

They're really indeed a perfect family.

Umeksena lang talaga ako...

Nang makababa na siya ng stage ay may mga sumabulong sa kaniya ng pakikipagkamay.

Nagbuntong hininga ako. Being around his family was kinda suffocating. Medyo mahirap huminga dahil nandyan lang sila at mukhang inaabangan na magkamali ako. It was as if they're waiting for me to do wrong para madali lang nila akong mapaalis.

I sighed for the ninth time before getting into my feet and muttered, "Rest room, " before walking away. Naghanap ako ng mauupuan na malayo sa kanila at tago sa mata ng mga tao ngunit napahinto ako nang mahagip ng aking mata ang catering.

Feeling a bit hungry since I haven't eaten for dinner yet, dumeritso ako roon at kumuha ako ng plato para kumain. I did not bother the weird looks of people as they watches me picking up every dishes on the table. Basta gutom ako, gutom ako.

Baka sila pa makain ko eh.

"Huli ka!"

"Ay, palaka!" Malakas akong napasinghap sa gulat nang may na kamay na tumapik sa balikat ko. "Ano ba?!"

"Uh-oh... sorry, bhe!"

Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita ang mga kaibigan sa harapan.

"Luh? Ba't kayo nandito?"

Kelly's brow furrowed while Dori still has this wide grin on her face, probably for having me startled.

"Duh, girl? Does our gown isn't enough to answer your stupid question?" supladang sagot ni Kelly sa akin at pabirong umirap.

Wait, why did we became friends again?

I blinked my eyes and collected myself. "That's actually stupid. What I mean is, what are you doing 'here'?"

"Kakain, hehe." Dori cheekily said. "Gutom na ako, huhu. Kanina, hindi ako nakakain kasi si Hyas, eh! Hinatak ba naman ako palabas ng bahay. Ang sabi niya ako raw date niya ngayong gabi! Kung hindi lang talaga kami magpinsan, iisipin kong may gusto iyon sa akin! Pucha siya, pakialamero sa love life ko. Santisima, malapit na akong mag seventeen pero NBSB pa rin ako. Shet talaga, "aniya.

"Luh? Akala ko ba 'pag eighteen ka na magj-jowa, Gebby? 'Di ba iyan iyong sabi mo dati? Scam ka, ghorl?"

"Hoy, hindi naman sa gano'n. Siyempre, nate-tempt din ako. I'm still a teenager at normal lang na na curious how does it feel, 'no? Mahirap kasi sa inyo, hindi niyo alam yung feeling na napapalibutan ng mga lalake sa bahay. Mostly, my cousins were all guys. Eh iyon si Jasmine, adoptive cousin lang naman namin iyon. As in, lahat sila lalaki! Isa pa, may strict akong daddy at killjoy na kuya. Hindi niyo feel iyong drama ko mga sizt." her lips protruded." It's hard to be the only girl in your clan. Bantay sarado. Iyong maiihi muna sa takot iyong may planong manligaw sa akin bago sila makalapit."

Kelly snorted. "b***h, kung alam mo lang kung gaano ko ka-gusto magkaroon ng kuya."

"Same," I said. "Having an older brother seems nice. Iyong may po-protekta sa'yo at haharang sa mga manliligaw mo. Maganda kaya siguro iyon."

She groaned and rolled her eyes. "Masasabi niyo lang iyan dahil eldest sibling kayo,"

Kelly chuckled. "Gaga ka, pota? Mahirap din maging panganay 'no! Hindi mo alam ang hirap namin, gurl!"

Tumango naman ako at binalingan si Dori. "I agree. Simula kasi nang mawala si mama, I need to stand as a sister s***h mother to Seth. You know, kaya rin siguro medyo matanda ako kung mag-isip kaysa sa inyo dahil na rin sa responsibilidad na nakapatong sa akin... You are even grateful you have a big family, Dori. You're well-sheltered and spoiled." sabi ko. "By the way, nandito din ba Icarus, Dori? Where is he?" I asked curiously.

She pouted. "Yep, nandoon sa table nina mommy at daddy kausap ang parents ni Ashley. Iyong celebrity, kilala mo+Tara! Punta tayo!" she cheered and held me by wrist.

"Wait! Wait! Sandali! Baka mahulog ang mga pagkain ko!" Pigil ko sa akmang paghablot niya sa akin.

She turned to face me, ngumiwi siya. "Ay, gutom din pala ako. Mamaya nalang siguro ako kakain. Tara,"

Sabay kaming naglakad patungo sa table ng parents niya.

"Hey, mom, dad, nandito po si Sunny." she said as we stopped in front of them. Mukhang kakaalis lang nang parents ni Ashley dahil wala naman ng ibang tao sa table.

Tita Veronica and tito Vinnunt looked at me so I flashed a sweet smile at the couple. Tita quickly stood up and kissed my cheek. Si tito naman ay maikling tango lang ang ginawa. I could see his jaw was clenching and unclenching.

Nagtaka ako.

I also sense tita nervous face as she held her husband's hand but the latter soon stood up and walked away without any single word of farewell to his wife.

"Mom?" Nagtatakang tanong ni Dori sa Ina nito, marahil ay napansin din kakaiba sa mga magulang.

Her mom smiled wryly with a hint of anxious in her eyes, nagpalipat lipat ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa ni Dori bago ito nagbuntong hininga.

"Don't mind us, sweetheart. Daddy mo nagtatampo sa'kin." she chuckled.

Though, she sounded okay, her eyes showed the otherwise.

Dori seems convinced , she smiled at her mother.

Dumating si Icarus at may ibinulong ito sa kaniyang ina. Tita attentively was nodding her head with an expression I couldn't name.

Shen the looked at me and back to Dori before she sighed and stood up.

"Sundan ko lang si Vin, mga anak." she kissed our cheeks bago siya umalis.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Something is wrong, I guess.

Wala sa sariling nilingon ko ang table nina Helios at Luna.

My father's wife's expression was visible that she wasn't okay. Helios was trying to hold his wife but the latter shook her head. They seems arguing.

Umiwas nalang ako nang tingin.