Lead Me To You

Kabanata XIII

What Happened in Italy?

Monica

A few days ago, I arrived secretly in my hometown in Tuscany. Pagdating ko pa lamang sa airport ay agad na akong sinundo ng tauhan ng aking nonno. Wala kaming sinayang na oras para makaalis lamang ng lugar na iyon.

A memory from the past is still lingering in my mind that I couldn't help to stop. Ang aking Papa, si Helga at si Carter na aking naiwan sa Pilipinas. I couldn't even said my proper goodbye. Hndi ko alam kung may pagkakataon pa bang makita ko pa sila. Hindi ko rin alam kung hanggang kailan ako magtatagal sa Italia.

"Cara, a package has arrived for you." My nonna visited my room every once in a while to check me. Palagi na lang naman niya akong naaabutang nakaupo sa ilalim ng bintana.

What package?

Tiningnan ko siya at malungkot ang binigay niya sa aking tingin. Hindi niya rin alam kung paano ba ako lalapitan.

"I am not expecting any package, nonna." Malungkot na sagot ko.

"It was really unexpected. It was personally delivered for you by your father's man." Her expression is still the same.

Personally, delivered?

My curiosity arose so I stood up and went downstairs without waiting for nonna to come with me. There I saw Carter holding a small porcelain urn jar. What inside that jar gives me an idea. I think I know what's in there. Bumagal naman ang aking lakad habang nakatitig sa jar na hawak ni Carter. Nanginginig at nanlalambot ang aking mga tuhod. Wala akong makakapitang suporta kaya pinilit ko pa ring maglakad ng tuwid.

My Nonno and nonna stood behind Carter while silently sobbing. Carter was intently looking at me with concern and pity. I think I know what's inside that jar.

"Signorina... it was your father's ashes." He declared.

With those words, the sobs of my grandparents became louder and I could really feel their despair. While I couldn't find words to say and my body seemed to be glued to the ground. I was out of words. I was paralyzed for a sudden moment. I could feel my tears falling down my cheeks but no sobs came out.

I feel like I was orphaned the second time.

"Benedici nostro figlio, Dio." I heard nonna say. She's asking God to bless my father.

They hugged each other and my Nonno supports nonna from losing her balance because of crying too much. The nurse is always alert for something that could happen for them so she stayed behind them.

I gathered all the strength I have left and approached Carter. Humihinga ako ng malalim habang nararamdaman ko ang paglapit ko sa jar na iyon.

It's my father's ashes. My Papa's last memory.

His promise was burned together with his ashes.

My tears keep on falling until I touched that jar. I felt like it electrified and it flowed all over me. I felt my father once again. I felt him one last time.

My strength collapsed and found myself sitting pitifully while sobbing loudly. 

I broke down again. I thought I was fine. I thought I was better. But I was wrong.

My grandparents were unable to cope with that extreme emotion so their blood pressure rose. Thankfully, they're okay now. They have taken their medicine so they are now resting inside their bedroom. I went there earlier to visit them and felt relief that they were getting better.

My father's urn jar stayed in my room for a couple of days. It just stayed on my bedside table while I looked at it. Spacing out most of the time and cried all by myself almost every night. I'm sure my nonna always hear my sobs but she didn't interrupt me and just let me.

On the fifth day that my Papa arrived, we gave him a proper burial for his cremated remains. The holy priest went into our home to bless the jar and gave my father a proper send-off.

"Nel nome del padre, del figlio, dello spirito santo; amen." Closing remarks of the priest signifying the end of the ceremony.

Hinatid ng isang tauhan ni nonno ang padre. Ngayon na muling natahimik ang buong bahay, muli na naman akong nagkulong sa aking kwarto. I wore a whole black outfit to indicate my mourning period for Papa. Binalot ko ang aking sarili sa comforter habang nakahiga sa aking kama. Umiiyak na naman sa muling pagalala ko sa aking namayapang ama. 

Hawak ang pinakabagong litrato ni Papa, tinitingnan ko ang masaya at totoong ngiti nito. Ang litratong ito ay kinuha noong unang araw ko sa vineyard pagkatapos ng aking graduation noong High School. Sobrang saya ni Papa habang yakap ang aking beywang at ako naman ay halos isubsob na ang aking mukha sa kanyang dibdib. Natatandaan ko pang umiiyak pa ako dito dahil sa kagalakan ng aking puso na nakatapos ako ng High School. I am not an honor student but my credentials can be lined up to those in the first sections.

"Mi manchi tanto, Papa..." I silently sobbed.

I am regretting those last moments we had wherein I always argue with him about the company. If only I could bring back the time, I would definitely obey you so we can't go into trouble again.

I tried to uplift myself as the days continue to pass by. I entered into Universitty of Pisa with the course of Agriculture under Science and Tecchnology. Kahit naman nagluluksa ako ay hindi ko rin dapat paabayaan ang pagaaral ko. Isa iyan sa palaging sinasabi sa akin ni Papa; 'you can take a break or divert your attention and interest once in a while, but make sure that you do not forget your education. That is as important as your life.'

And yes, I will take it seriously.

I took Agriculture because I wanted to learn more about the business and the company. We still have a vineyard here in Tuscany and half of that property is my Nonno's, the other half is for Francis, obviously. He promised to not touch the mansion here as my grandparents are living there. So he spared half of the vineyard as well.

The first year was pretty much a good start. I learned some things and my knowledge about the business widened. Hindi rin ako nagsayang ng araw at sa tuwing bakante ako ay binabasa ko ang mga librong tungkol sa agrikultura at wine. I spend most of my time at school library and my room. Kaysa naman sa isipin ko ang pagluluksa, malulungkot lamang ako at mawawala sa pokus. So I needed to divert my attention.

"Mia nipote? May I come in?" That's Nonno.

"Si, Nonno. Entrare." I said.

Pinatay ko muna ang aking laptop at tinago ang mga papel na inaaral ko. Nagbukas naman ang aking pintuan kaya inalalayan ko si nonno na makapasok aat makaupo sa gilid ng aking kama.

"What brings you here, Nonno?"

"Nothing, really. I am just wondering, what are you still doing at this hour? You're supposed to be asleep and resting. There is no school tomorrow."

Umupo ako sa kanyang tabi.

"I am just reviewing some notes. Preparing for the final exam next week." I lied.

"Studying is good, but your should know when to take a rest." He's just like Papa.

"I will, Nonno. I just have to finish some things, then I'll take a rest."

Sagot ko. Nakita ko ang tingin nito sa akin. Masaya ngunit may halong kaalungkutan. He reached out my hand and caress the side of my cheek.

"You have your father's perseverance," said Nonno.

I smiled.

"I am remembering him in you. You have so much in common."

I smiled again. What similarities could that be?

"Tell me, Nonno. What are those?"

"You got his wit, his patience, his strength and even his view of things. He's not satisfied with just being okay, he wants to be better. And I think that's right; why would you settle for less if you know to yourself that you can be more? Why would you stay in between if you can still run beyond the ordinary?... your father's wisdom inspired me to be a better man, for your nonna, for you and this family." Litanya ng aking lolo.

Naiiyak na lamang ako habang nilalarawan nya ang mga nakuha kong kaugalian kay Papa. At sa mga salitang binitawan niya, natatandaan kong sinabi niya na rin ito sa akin. His words of wisdom always wakes me up to reality.

"There's nothing wrong with what you are doing, cara. I know why you took Agriculture. I know the reason why you are staying up late past your bedtime... I know what you are planning to do." He added. 

"I want to return the honour of this family, Nonno," I said.

"And I will not stop you. As the head of this family, I will give you my support," he tapped my hand softly. "...as the head of the family, I am worthless-"

"No no no, don't say that, per favore." I blurted.

"-I can't be as strong as your father. I am too weak to protect our legacy. And I am such a fool for believing and trusting other people in our business." He added.

"What are you talking about, Nonno?"

Bakit ba parang sinisisi niya ang kanyang sarili sa mga nangyayari ngayon? Bakit sinasabi niya nito na kasalanan niya?

"The one reason on why we are here in this situation is probably because I trusted everyone. They showed so much interest in our company that they want it by themselves. When I still managed the Carluccio's, before your father; I always accepted their wanting partnership on us. I want Carluccio's to expand not just in Italy, but in the whole world." He said.

Now it made sense.

"Who is it? Who are they? Why do they want Carluccio's so much?" I asked so many questions that I didn't even know if Nonno can answer.

"I don't know... I don't know, cara." Malungkot nitong pagtanto.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang panghuhula sa likod ng aking isipan. Since I was young, I am attending seminars, meetings, parties with Papa about the business- I always wanted to be involved. Sa lahat ng mga nakilala ko noon, sinusuri ko kung sino ang pwedeng magkaroon ng interest na kuhanin ang kumpanya sa amin. Maaring nasa paligid lamang sila. Maaaring malapit sila sa amin. But who could it be? Kahit ako ay hindi alam kung sino ang sisisihin.

"I wanted you out of this mess, cara. I wanted to protect you also like your father. But how can I restore the honour of this family? A weakling like me cannot do anything without my walking stick." Nonno said. We laughed shortly at the last sentence he mentioned.

His weak and soulfull eyes looked straight at me, "you are my only hope. That's why I need you, mia nipote. I'm so sorry if I pushed you into this mess I have started. I'm so sorry." He caressess my cheek.

"Nonno-" I held his hand that has been occupying my cheek, "-you don't have to apologize. We are family, and we will help each other. We got each other's back, right? Per favore, don't worry about anything. I will bring back Carluccio's, I know I can. So cheer up now, we don't want Nonna to know about this." The tears that had escaped his eyes falled on his cheeks. I wipe that with my thumb.

Hindi ako tumitigil sa pagaaral hangga't hindi ko naiintindihan ang isang bagay. I made sure na hindi ako maiiwanan sa klase. I always attemp to ace every examination. My report card says it all. Second year had passed and I met new friends. We went out most of the time; beach vacation, clubbing, yacht tour, and more. Everything that we can do in Italia.

"Andiamo ragazza! Sarà la notte migliore, lo giuro."

They wanted me to come to the newly opened bar at the city. The last time I went to a bar, I was wasted. Drunk and very much unoriented of what happened the night after. Luckily, I was with my Nonno's bodyguard because that was my first time.

"I don't think I can. Do you remember the last time?" I said.

"Why worry on getting drunk? That was the fun we are seeking for!" They laughed.

"Non so se mio Nonno starà bene," besides, Nonno don't want me to put myself in a mess.

"Oh, spare me of that! Andiamo! I have my driver on standby!" My wild Italian friend said.

Ilang minutong pagpupumilit ay napapayag din nila ako. Tumakas ako ng mansyon at hindi ko sinabi sa kanila kung saan ako pupunta. Hindi na rin ako nagsama pa ng bodyguard dahil all girls night out naman ito, and they will not gonna like it.

They parked the car two meters away from the main gate of the house. Nang makalabas ako ay tinakbo ko na iyon papasok sa kotse.

"Are you ready, girls? Turn off your phones and let's have some fun tonight!"

It's a limousine car so we have lots of space. Sa loob pa lamang ng sasakyan ay umiinom na kami ng wine. To set the mood, they said. Loud music and loud laughter filled the inside of the car. I'm pretty sure the driver wouldn't mind because this section is tinted and soundproof.

"Drink more, Monica!"

"No! We are not yet at the bar!" Napapalakas ang boses ko dahil sumasabay ang malakas na musika.

"Don't be such a child! Leave everything behind and just enjoy yourself!" She said half-shouting.

Napapayag na naman nila ako kaya nilagok ko ang isang basong wine na ibinuhos nila sa aking baso.

Ilang minuto pa ang lumipas at nakarating na kami sa wakas sa sinasabi nilang bagong bukas na bar. Dahil grand opening nito kaya marami agad ang tao.

"Free drinks for ladies after eleven? We are so lucky!"

Nagtatalon ang mga ito at hindi makapaghintay na makapasok sa loob. Pinakita naman namin sa bouncer and aming national ID at pagkatapos masuri ay binalik nito sa amin. Nang makapasok kami sa loob ay nagsasayawang mga tao ang agad na bumungad sa amin. Maganda ang bar na ito kumpara sa ibang bar na napuntahan namin. Bukod sa bagong bukas pa lamang, napakarami rin ng mga inaalok na inumin.

"I heard that the bartender is from the Philippines. He knows a lot of mixes and tricks. We must try it!"

Ayoko namang masabihang killjoy ako kaya sinunod ko ang lahat ng kanilang gusto. I drinks, I danced, I get acquainted to other people inside the dancefloor. Since we have free drinks, we took advantage of it. We lost track of time and we seemed to be enjoying the night. Naghiwa-hiwalay na kami give ourselves the full enjoyment we deserve.

"You're new here," the man I've been speaking to asked me.

"This is a newly opened place. So yeah! I am new here!" I laughed.

"No, I mean... you're new in this city."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm from Florence." I continued to dance.

"Really? I knew a lot of people there. From which family?" He asked.

Hindi pa rin ako sanay sa mga taong nagtatanong kung ano ang aking apilido o kung saang pamilya ako nagmula. It's a kind of big deal for others when they heard my family's name.

"I am a Carluccio," I simply answered.

He stopped dancing but he was not surprised. Instead, he plastered a big smile on his lips.

"A Carluccio- as in the biggest wine distributor all over the Europe?"

My family is a well-known business owner in the industry. But he's wrong, we're not just popular in Europe. Thanks to my father, we are now global.

"Yeah," I just answered.

That's when I saw the real expression of his face.

"Praise the God, Almighty! I am now in front of a Carluccio! It is an honour." He jabbered loudly.

Parang mahihiya naman ako sa kanyang ginagawa ngayon. He is histerically calling my name and pointing me from the crowd.

"Woah!" They all cheered.

Hanggang sa dinumogna ako ng mga tao; kinakamayan, niyayakap, kinakausap at binabati. Ayoko ng ganitong atensyon kaya tinatakas ko ang aking mga paa palayo sa dagat ng mga tao. Habang nakangiti at nakikipagusap sa kanila ay umuurong ang aking lakad para lamang makalabas ako sa gitna.

"Yeah right... thank you!"

Huli kong sinabi bago ako tuluyang makalaya sa kanila. Naglabas ako ng malalim na buntong hininga nang sa wakas ay makatakas na ako.

Naabutan ko naman ang lalaking kanina ko pang kausap sa may counter at nagoorder ng alak nito.

"You left me there," I said. I was not mad.

"Oh sorry, I just thought that maybe they want to talk to you also." He drinks after.

We had our conversation again and we created our own world while talking about business and winery. We had so many similarities especially that we shared interest in wines. The conversation goes on and on until I realized that I became comfortable around him. I forget about my friends that brought me here and they are nowhere to be found. Not that I care about it, I could just call a cab to take me home instead. And that's why I didn't drink much today. I just don't want to repeat my ill and wasted behaviour when I was drunk.

"Are you looking for someone?" He asked when he noticed that I was roaming my eyes to the sea of people dancing.

"I am just looking for my friends that I came with earlier," I said unattendedly.

"Do you have your driver with you?" Is he going to offer me a ride?

"Unfortunately, no. I just escaped tonight." I said.

"Oh, I see that a young Carluccio si a rebel." He teased. That's where he get my full attention.

"No I'm not!" I defended myself.

I am not a rebel, I just don't want my friends to think that I am a killjoy.

"Come on, I'll take you to your home." He offered.

"Really? But it's almost thirty minutes away from here."

"That's no problem with me. I can even drive an hour for you."

"Oh come on, spare me with flowering words. I need to go home also because my Nonno just woke up the whole casa to find me."

I got a text from him asking where am I right now.

It was a frightening message, actually.

"Let's get out of here, then. We have to hit the road." He stood up beside the high chair.

"But my friends-"

"They can take care of themselves,"

Fine.

Pumayag ako na ihatid niya ako hanggang bahay. As soon as we find his car, we hit the road. I could imagine my grandfather in rage with everyone while my grandmother helps to calm him down. I'll be dead when I get home, for sure.

Nakarating na nga kami sa Florence at tinatahak na ang daan patungo sa Casa Carluccio. Wala kaming kapitbahay at ang daanan patungo roon ay ang mga pine trees at ang hektaryang lupang aming grapes farm.

Kinakabahan ako habang pababa ako ng kotse. Nariring ko na mula rito ang sigaw ng aking Nonno.

"Thanks for the ride, Paris." Mabilis kong sinabi bago ako tumakbo palapit sa aming gate.

"No one will sleep until you find my granddaugther!" Nonno exclaimed to everyone.

Huminga ako ng malalim habang pinapanood ko ang lahat na aligaga sa paghahanap sa akin. Natutulala na lamang ako habang iniisip kung paano ko haharapan ang aking lolo.

"Go on, they are looking for you." Napansin din pala iyon ni Paris at ngayon ay nakatayo siya sa aking likuran.

Hindi na ako nagalinlangan na pindutin pa ang doorbell. Nang tumunog iyon ay lahat sila'y napatingin sa akin. Concerned faces greets me. Napansin naman ng aking lolo at lola ang pagkatigil ng kanyang mga tauhan kaya humarap din ang mga ito sa aking direksyon.

"My granddaughter has been found! Quick! Let her enter!" Utos nito sa aming security guard.

Nagbukas naman ang main gate ngunt hindi agad ako pumasok. Sila ang lumapit sa akin at mahigpit akong niyakap.

"I thought we lost you too. You got us so worried, cara." Nonna sobs.

"I don't know how to live my life if you will be dead also," Nonno exaggerated.

"Mi dispiace, nonno, nonna." Ang tangi kong nasabi.

Kumalas ang mga ito sa aking yakap at napansin nila ang lalaking nasa aking likuran.

"Oh! This is Paris Marchetti. We just met." Pagpapakilala ko sa kanila.

Nakita ko ang pagkurba ng labi ng aking nonno nang mapakilala ko silang dalawa sa isa't isa.

"It's so nice to meet you, young Marchetti." They shook hands except nonna, Paris kissed her hand instead. "Thank you for coming with my granddaughter. We are so worried that we cannot find her in her room earlier. I thought we lost her." Nonno said.

They couldn't invite him into the house because it's getting late. It was almost three in the morning so he left.