Lead Me To You

Kabanata XIV

Family Business

Unexpectedly, Paris and I became friends. Nonno would invite him every Saturday for dinner and he didn't refuse once. Nonno likes him very much that he would treat him as his own grandson.

"Thank you for the dinner, Signor," Paris said to my Nonno.

We are complete around the dining table. Nonno is on his usual spot on the top while Nonno is on her right. Paris sat on the left side and I am beside him, minding my own business.

"No, thank you for not refusing this invitation. I know how busy you are but you still slip this event in your schedule." Nonno said.

"It is an honour, Signor Carluccio. I am a big fan of your business. Monica knows about it." Paris proclaimed while pointing at me.

That's when we got my attention.

"We've been talking about wines and business, Nonno." I played with my fork.

"Oh, that's great. Having the same interest will not be difficult for your relationship in the future."

I didn't understand what Nonno have said.

We continue eating while Paris and Nonno talked most of the time at the dinner table. My Nonna solemnly speaks and she doesn't want to interrupt their conversation so we just stayed quiet. 

Only the clinking of our spoon and fork and the plate.

"So Paris, what do you think of my granddaughter?" Nonno suddenly asked.

"I think she's a great person. We have only known each other for one year but she's a nice and very sophisticated lady. We shared the same interest in many things that's why we are comfortable with each other." I just listened to what Paris has said.

"Do you like her?"

I choked by my own saliva as to what Nonno have asked Paris. Agad naman akong inabutan ni Paris ng tubig na sinalinan pa niya ang aking baso. Tinanggap ko naman iyon at agad na ininom. Hinahagod naman ni Paris ang aking likod para makadagdag sa ginahawang aking inaasam.

"E una domanda strana, Nonno." I said when I relieved myself from choking.

I just got shocked by the strange question that Nonno asked Paris. He just spits it out of the blue.

"No, it's not. I just wanted to know if Paris is really interested in you." Nonno's stare was focused on Paris.

I just need to clarify this to Paris later.

"Si Signor. Mi piace molto la tua Monica. Da quando abbiamo avuto una conversazione per la prima volta, sapevo da me stesso di essere rimasto colpito." Paris said.

Did I hear it right? Am I hearing a confession about love right now?

"E che progetti hai per lei?" Nonno asked him about his plans for me.

"Nonno, per favore, fermati!" I butted in.

I don't want Paris to feel uncomfortable.

"I wanted to talk about this with Monica first. I don't want to do things that might shock her or make her feel uncomfortable. I don't want her to feel that around me." Paris looked at me with his tender eyes.

Oh, no. 

"I just want to know because you see, she's my only granddaughter. One of a kind. I want the best for her." Nonno said pleasantly while looking at me.

We finally finished eating so I took Paris for a walk in our garden. We both have a glass of wine in our hands while we are slowly walking.

Naiisip ko pa rin hanggang ngayon ang mga biglaang komportrasyon sa hapag kainan. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung ano na ang mararamdaman ni Paris sa susunod na pupunta siya dito sa bahay. Iniisip ko naman ngayon kung paano ko pa sisimulan na kausapin siya tungkol doon.

"The dinner was amazing," Paris broke the since between us.

"Yeah, those are my favorites." Sagot ko naman habang kinakabahan pa rin.

"Yeah,"

"Yeah,"

We both said.

Namayani na naman ang katahimikan sa aming pagitan kaya sumimsim na lamang ako mula sa baso ng wine na aking hawak. Patuloy lang kami sa paglalakad sa mala-labyrinth na aming hardin.

"What happened at the dinner table..." nakatingin lamang ako sa aking mga kamay, "I hope it didn't made you feel uncomfortable." Sabi ko.

"All the words that I said at the dinner table were all true," he declared.

Do I have to hear another confession?

Tumigil siya sa paglalakad at hinarap ako. Buong buo ang kanyang pagtitig sa akin at makikita ko sa kanyang mga mata na nagsasabi siya ng totoo. Gamit ang bakante niyang kamay, inabot niya ang aking baba upang maharap ko ang kanyang mukha.

"My feelings for you are true. I didn't lie when I said that I like you. I didn't lie when I confessed to you Nonno that I have fallen for you." He leaned in closer.

"But Paris-"

"I know. You don't have the same feelings for me. We can take things slow, let you adjust. Then maybe your heart can learn to love me too."

Pero Paris, hindi natuturuan ang puso kung sino ang mamahalin.

Don't get me wrong. I like Paris, but only as my friend. I can't give more than that to him. He's a nice gentleman and a caring man for me. If only we live in another lifetime, I might really like him too. But I am not looking for this kind of committed relationship now. I am more focused on my goal. And I don't want anything to ruin that.

"Paris... you know that I have always been honest to you since the first day we met. I can accept your feelings for me but I cannot assure you that I can return the same favour on you. I don't think that I am ready for this."

Humakbang ako ng dalawang beses dahilan para makalikha ako ng distansya sa aming pagitan. Naiwan naman sa ere ang kanyang kamaya na kanina'y nakahawak sa aking baba.

"I want to think about this even more. I got to be honest that I feel overwhelmed about everything that just happened tonight." Hindi ko na siya matingnan na tuwid na parang may kasalanan ako.

"Good night, Paris," I said before turning away.

I left him in the garden. 

I went straight to our sala only to find my Nonno sitting on the sofa. He was looking at me intently as I entered the room. I gave him a small smile. He wants me to seat beside him so he tapped the space on the sofa. One of the maids walked passed and I gave her my wine glass. I barely even drank that. I walked towards my Nonno's direction and sat beside him.

"Did you talk to Paris?" He asked.

"Yes, Nonno," I answered.

"So, how did that go? Did he ask you for marriage?" What?

"No, Nonno! Don't you think it's a little too fast? Besides I only like him as a friend." I feel so pressured right now.

"It's the same thing, cara. Eventually, you will love him too. The man is sincere. He will be a good husband." Said Nonno.

I know that he is a good man. But I really don't see myself marrying him.

"But I don't want to get married yet,"

He grabbed my hands and tapped them.

"Don't you realize that he can actually help us to regain the right to Carluccio's?"

What? I can't follow. 

"How can Paris help me, Nonno? He doesn't even know that we're not the owner anymore." I said.

"That is your advantage. You see, cara... that young man is the only heir of Marchertti's Logistics. And their family is the second-largest stockholder of Carluccio's."

Matagal ko nang alam ang koneksyon ng mga Marchetti sa Carluccio's. Ang hndi ko lamang lubos na maisip na gagamitin ng aking Nonno si Paris para lamang sa aking plano.

Marriage? Is that the only option?

"His influence, his power, his wealth. You can use all of that to your advantage." He said.

"I will not do that, Nonno. He's been good to me ever since. I can't use him." I can't.

"Think about this, cara. Your union can be a foundation for the merger I am planning about. Your marriage to him can bring back the respect that we have lost."

Desperado na rin ang aking Nonno. Naiintindihan ko kung ano ang gusto niyang iparating. Wala na rin naman ako magagawa kung makikipagtalo pa ako sa kanya. Siya pa rin ang masusunod. Sa kagustuhan namin na makuha ang dapat na sa amin, handa na akong isugal ang lahat ng meron ako.

"Let me handle this. You don't have to worry about anything. All you have to do is make the marriage happen. And I promise you, we can have the Carluccio's back." Nonno tapped my shoulder.

"Let me finish my degree first. I want to have something for myself before giving myself to others." I said.

"Of course, care. We can take things slow. For your own pace."

"We will get Carluccio's back. We will take our legacy and the respect that we have lost."

This is for you, Papa. Everything that I will do from now on, I will offer to you.

 My last year of college has ended and I got my degree in Agriculture. Paris continue pursuing me since the first day he confessed in front of my Nonno.

My graduation ceremony finished just thirty minutes ago and we are gathering at the dinner table together with the Marchetti's.

"I don't want to be rude to all of you but please, refrain from talking about marriage. I just graduated and we appreciate your kindness for being part of this gathering." I said.

I am not afraid to speak up my mind.

I am just fed up that they still have to talk about that in the middle of my celebration.

"Yes, of course, carissima. Today is your day. We are here to celebrate." Nonno said.

Around the dining table are my grandparents, the Marchetti's and me. There is a lot of Italian food served on our table. Wine glass for each guest, and desserts for after.

"So, Monica, what made your mind to take Agriculture?" The old Marchetti asked.

Binaba ko muna ang aking kubyertos at uminom ng wine. Pagkatapos ay pinunasan ko ang aking bibig ng bimpong nasa aking mga hita.

"I took Agriculture because I wanted to improve my knowledge about farming. There's something about this course that I have been stocked with. I get to know the science and art behind Agriculture. It's just so fascinating and I can also learn to better contribute to this livelihood." I explained.

"Did you also take Agriculture because of your business?" He asked again.

"You're right, Mr Marchetti. I have always been in love with vineyards and the process of making wine."

I remembered the day when I first visited the factory in La Union. It was a majestic sight. How I got a friend who shared the same interest in wines and can actually tutor me about farming and harvesting grapes.

"And that how we actually first met..." I felt my lips curving.

"Oh, my son?" I heard Mrs Marchetti utter.

Napabalik naman ako sa aking diwa nang marinig ko ang kanyang boses. Hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko kaya napatingin ako sa aking Nonno pati kay Nonna. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko ba nasabi iyon gayong hindi naman si Paris ang tinutukoy ko.

"That- ah... I mean-" I don't know what to say.

Napatingin naman ako kay Paris na naghihintay rin ng sasabihin ko. Nakatingin lamang siya sa akin ngunit ang mga mata niya ang nagtatanong.

"W-We shared the same interest in wine. That's how we met." I said.

"Oh," The Marchettis' laughed.

I will be remembering this embarrassment.

We continued chatting but this time, Nonno lead the conversation. I wanted to exit the dining table so bad because I just finished eating. Hindi na rin naman ako kasali sa usapan so what's the point of staying? They are not talking about marriage but they are talking about their business. What a great way to disguise a topic.

"Want to get out of here?" Paris suddenly whispered.

"Where to?" Saan naman kami pupunta?

"I'll show you something in the garden," he said.

"Like, now?"

How are we going to get out of here without interrupting the old people?

He didn't answer my question but held my hand. He told them that we need to excuse ourselves and just stoop up. He didn't wait for their approval and just grabbed me by my hand and dragged me out of the dining room.

We were laughing when we get out of that room. Tinakbo namin ang daan papuntang garden habang iniisip ko pa rin ang bagay na ipapakita niya sa akin.

"Have you seen their faces? They were surprised that we talked back!" He said while laughing.

"I know! They didn't get to say something because we ran!" Sagot ko naman.

You know that our garden mimics the small labyrinth. Since we already know the way, we didn't have to get lost all the way.

"We're gonna get in trouble when we got back,"

Finally, we're here.

But there's nothing here. Inikot ko pa ang aking mata sa buong paligid ngunit wala talaga. 

Ano ba talaga ang ipapakita niya?

"Paris, there's nothing here. Are you sure that you have something to show me here?"

Nilapitan ko pa ang mga halaman na nagbabakasaling tinatago niya sa mga ito ngunit wala talaga. Hindi niya ako sinasagot. Hinalungkat kong muli ngunit wala pa rin akong sagot na natatanggap. Humarap ako sa kanya at parang nagsisi na lamang ako sa aking ginawa.

He's on his one knee! We both know what he will be doing.

"My surprise was not in those plants. It's in my hand." He said.

I gasped slightly into thin air when he opened the small red velvet box in his hand.

There's a ring! A freaking diamond ring!

"Paris-"

"I know that I'm not listening. You don't want to talk about this tonight but I just really can't wait to do this."

Is he really going to propose?

"I know that our marriage will be just for the convenience of both our families. But my feelings for you is real, so I wanted to properly propose for real."

"Paris-"

"Monica Patrice Carluccio... will you marry me?" He asked sincerely.

I don't know. Should I say 'yes'? It's not like I am still against this union. Nonno made sure that I will agree to it. But is this the right time to say 'yes'?

"Yes?" I said. Ngunit patanong.

He still smiled at my answer. Tumayo na siya sa pagkakaluhod at nilapitan ako. He grabbed my left hand and slid the diamond ring on my fourth finger.

I am not gonna lie that my hand does look good with this ring. It was like the missing piece of my skin that made it so perfect when I looked at it. I can't help but smile.

"Grazie, Monica. You made me the happiest man tonight." He kissed my forehead.

I'm supposed to be happy right now. Finally, there is a man who proposed marriage to me. I would like to be happy but in the wrong situation.

"Paris, I don't want to rush things." I kept repeating it to him.

"I know, bella. You can take your time. The last thing I want for you to feel is being uncomfortable with me." He said.

He's true to his word. He lets me use all my freedom and still have my privacy. He's been this way for almost three weeks now and I like it. I am not stressed about the wedding and they are not rushing me. 

But everything turned when my grandfather was rushed to the hospital. He didn't tell me about his illness, I just found it out now. The doctor is explaining about my Nonno's illness. With my Nonna holding my arm, crying silently but cannot hide her true feelings.

"Signor have macular degeneration. It is common for old age especially that they are gradually losing their vision. Age-related macular degeneration usually begins at age fifty-five or older. Related to the examination we did, he has wet AMD, abnormal blood vessels develop under the retina in a process called choroidal neovascularization-"

"Cosa significa?" Nonna was impatient because we both don't know what the doctors are telling us about.

"The cause of Signor Carluccio's fall from the stairs is his eye illness. Patients with AMD have a damaged vision in the middle of their retina."

"Oh mio dio, mio marito..." Nonna can't help herself sobbing.

Nagpasalamat na lamang ako sa doktor bago ito umalis. Pumasok na kami sa kwarto ni Nonno. Gising ito ngunit nakabandena ang kanyang ulo dahil sa natamon sugat mula sa pagkakabagsak niya sa hagdanan ng aming bahay. Nakita niya si Nonna na umiiyak kaya pinalapit niya ito sa kanya at niyakap. Pinakalma ng kanyang halik at mga haplos.

I wish that my husband would be like my Nonno or my Papa. They are my standard for a man. Loving, caring, protective... a man that would make sure you are safe. A man that would make sure that you are feeling loved. A man that doesn't need a reason to make you smile and to see you.

"Why do you have to hide this from us?" Nonna asked him.

"I never intend to, amore. I just don't want you to worry about me because I don't want to see you cry." He wiped my Nonna's tears.

"That's not the right excuse, Nonno. We will worry about you because we love you. Whatever happens to one of us, we will still stick to one another because we're family." I said.

"I'm really sorry, cara." He opened his arms for a hug.

Nilapitan ko siya at niyakap. Doon na ako naiyak nang ibaon ko ang aking ulo sa kanyang dibdib. Nilihim niya ang kanyang kalagayan dahil ayaw niya na magalala kami. Lahat ng pagtatagong ginawa niya ay para sa amin. Sa dami ng kinakaharap naming problema ngayon ay mas pinili niyang sarilihin ito.

I feel guilty. He's a selfless man like Papa.

Gusto kong makabawi sa kanya dahil ayokong mawalan na naman ng mahal sa buhay. At ang isang paraan lamang para makabawi ako ay ang ituloy ko ang kasal kay Paris. That way, mapapasaya ko siya. He will not worry about it. It will lessen his suffering.

I called Paris that night when we got home. I told him that I am ready to be married and we should arrange it as possible. He did not question me but he just agree. The next day, he spent the whole day in the house contacting and planning the wedding with me. We have so much to do; the venue, the guests, the band, the catering and more. But one thing that I didn't agree about was the media being invited, and he removed it from the list, willingly. 

"It they make you uncomfortable, we will not invite them." He said.

Sunday was spent to church. We attended the mass and got invited to the Marchettis' villa. We spent the afternoon at the dining table eating lunch and talking about the preparation. It exhaust me, to tell you honestly but I had no choice. I can't back down now that I just gave them my approval.

They were all excited about this union that they even talked about having a grandchild.

I coughed from shock that I spilled the water on my clothes.

"Oh dio mio, are you okay?" Lady Marchetti asked me.

"I'm fine-" I said while wiping my clothes with tissue, "I was just shocked about the topic." I laughed awkwardly.

"Oh cara, you should get used to it. The men will keep talking about it until they have one."

What? Are they in a hurry?

A typical wedding ceremony occurred and I just can't still believed that I am tied now. Still looking at the classic ring on my right fourth finger without a smile on my face. There's no turning back for real. It's too late.

"The reception ceremony exhaust me. Are you not tired?" Paris asked.

We were both locked on our hotel room. It will be our first night as a married couple.

"I'm also tired. I just can't wait to remove this dress on me. It's weighing me down!" I complained.

I sat on the edge of our bed and trying to remove the button of my dress at the back.

"Here, let me help you." He offered.

Before I could decline, he's unbuttoning it with his two hands.

Were both silent while waiting for him to finish. I don't have my bra underneath so he will be seeing my bare back. And just by that idea, my face heatened up.

I could feel his hands caressing my shoulders and it sent disgusting shivers on me. I closed my eyes and prayed. So this is it. No backing down.

He kissed my nape!

And I am trembling while forcing my tears back.

"I-I'm sorry Paris. I am not... ready." My tears fell.

A moment of silence but I could still feel his hands on my shoulders. But it's not moving.

"I wanted a son, Monica. I wanted to give my father a grandson." He whispered.

"But I can't-" I sobbed.

I accepted that this is my fate. But please, not now.

"I understand,"

"I told you that I will not rush you. I will not do it unless I have your approval. I will not do anything that will make you uncomfortable."

"But I'm not gonna wait too long,"

He removed his hand on my shoulder and put his white coat instead.

"I will be giving you six months. To think. To find your purpose. To be free. We will not be doing honeymoons until then. We will sleep in a separate room. But after that, you have to accept that our duty is to produce an heir so this union will have a better outcome. We don't want to upset the elders, right? I will not receive any refusal after that."