Bound by Crown (Boundless #1)

Chapter 1

'The one who wishes to wear the crown, must bear its weight.'

It's a quote I heard from a Korean TV show that I have watched when I was bored at home one time because I find it relatable in my life and somehow, the quote fits me but not quite.

I am not after the crown nor seeking to have it. In fact, I will willingly give it to anyone who wishes to have it but unfortunately, I am an only child and there is no way I can't pass it to anyone outside the family. No one would allow it to happen.

There is also no way to break the curse. Yes, a curse is what I called it because there is a sacred vow that my ancestors made that cannot be broken. Even my Dad approves of it and is forcing me to adhere.

Whatever status we have in life, we still wish for something more than what we have in the moment. We can't judge people because it's part of being a human. We look for something we don't have and it's an endless loop. But me? I only wish for one.

One thing that no one in my family wishes to give me. I will trade or give up anything just so I can have my freedom, but there isn't anything I have to get what I want. It's irrevocable, I can say. No matter what I do, or will do, I can't have that freedom I seek.

There are many different kinds of crowns in Life. It's just a matter of how we view it whether it's a crown for Power or position, Fame, Family, Relationships..... endless choices that comes from different directions of life.

Every crown we chose to carry has a burden that accompanies it. There is never a perfect life yet it's still in ourselves how we view perfect. For me, it can be perfect on who you share your life with….. with your loved ones.

"Loo!"

"Aw! What the hell, Loo!" Reklamo ko sa aking kaibigan nang biglang may humagis sa mukha ko na isang matigas na throw pillow.

Muntik na na sumama ang aking ulo roon kung napalakas pa ng kaunti ang kanyang bato kaya napahawak nalang ako sa aking leeg na parang napunit saka siya tinignan ng masama.

Tumawa pa siya sa inis ko pero umismid nalang ako at ituon ang pansin sa telebisyon kung saan malapit na yata matapos ang pelikula na aming pinapanood.

We always binge-watch series or movies whenever we have free time and it's always here in Erynn's apartment that we watch.

Since I got here in Canada, siya na ang unang nakilala at naging kaibigan ko dahil nasa iisang apartment complex lang kami nakatira. Her unit is just below mine.

Half-Canadian at Half-Filipino siya pero sa Pilipinas siya lumaki kaya marunong at nakakintindi siya ng Tagalog at halos kaka-fifteen lang niya nang mapunta sila ng Mama niya rito sa Canada, and ever since ay hindi na siya bumalik ng Pilipinas kaya ang Tagalog niya ay may accent na rin.

"Are you really watching? Sige nga, anong nangyari bakit sila nag-break nung babae?" She asked arms crossed on her chest with a pillow on her lap.

I focused on the film and internalized what is happening at the moment so I can get a hint on what happen but I got nothing. Blanko ang isip ko na nakatingin sa palabas sa telebisyon.

"Sophie." Tawag niya katagalan nang hindi pa ako sumagot.

"Fallen out of love?" Hula ko.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. She wants out." Wala sa sarili kong sagot habang nakatulala sa TV sa aming harapan.

Napatingin ako sa aking kandungan nang maramdaman ko ang paghawak ng aking kaibigan sa aking kamay at malumanay na nagsalita.

"Loo, it's not yet the end of the world. We can still find a way for you to escape. You know I am always here for you. I'll help you."

Tipid lang akong ngumiti sa kanya and I know that she knows how thankful I am to her for always being here for me and keeping me sane. But I cannot involve her with my problem. She is my only friend that I trust and I want her safe.

No matter how far I go or how hard I hid myself from my Dad, he'll always find a way to find me and bring me back in the Philippines. I won't allow him yo use my bestfriend as a leverage.

Isa pa, how long will I hide from him? I can't continue living like this at halos wala ng katahimikan sa utak ko. I miss him too kahit hindi ko gusto ang balak niya para sa akin.

It's too cruel, I want to have freedom to choose and live my life. This is my life and I should have control over it.... but I guess I owe that to my parents and I should obey them.

I received an unknown message and even if there was no name in it, I know it's my Dad because it says 'We need to talk.'"

No please, or he didn't even asked me if I wanted to talk. It's something that I have to follow or he'll make his move. I know him that well, but since he hasn't done anything so far, I'll take my freedom at max.

"Hi, um... good morning." I greeted the woman and she smiled at me. "I'm looking for Owen. Owen Smith."

Pinaghintay niya ako sa waiting area nang ipatawag niya si Owen para i-meet ako pero I told her not to tell him who and just a delivery guy looking for him.

Inabangan ko lang siya na bumaba at tinitignan ko ang mga tao na dumadaan dahil baka nandiyan na siya. I should be the one to see him first so I can surprise him.

When I saw a man wearing a semi-formal clothes with a bit of facial hair, agad na akong tumayo para salubungin siya.

"Owen!..... Owen!!" I shouted and wave my hand a bit in the air so he could see me but he looked the other way instead.

He turned around when I called him again and his eyes rounded when he saw me. I hugged his torso and he immediately leaned down giving me a not so subtle kiss on the lips.

I haven't really surprised him before by going here at his work and I rarely go out of the apartment kung wala lang akong raket. Just like with my bestfriend Erynn, madalas lang kaming nasa apartment.

He is fine with it though, wala naman siyang reklamo and he doesn't even asked too many questions about my family pero alam niya na hindi kami okay ni Dad and other than that, wala na akong nabanggit sa kanya.

Ilang buwan na rin kami na magkasintahan ni Owen and Erynn is quite fond of him too. He is nice, and caring. He is one of the reason except for Erynn why I decided to just stay here in Canada.

Paalis na dapat ako noon para pumunta ng ibang bansa when I met Owen in the train. Nakasama ko siya sa biyahe at hindi naman siya nahiya na kausapin ako hanggang sa bumaba kami sa parehong lugar.

Bumibisita lang siya sa lugar na iyon at napasama naman ako because I was quite smitten to him kaya nakuha ko na magpanggap na pumapasyal lang din sa pinuntahan namin gaya niya at sabay pa kami na bumalik sa Montreal na ikinagulat ni Erynn.

I still remember how hard Erynn laughed at me nang ikuwento ko sa kanya ang nangyari sa aking pag-alis. At first she thought nabaliw na ako pero when she met Owen, nalaman din niya ang pagkabaliw ko.

Once I got something from Dad, agad na akong umaalis ng bansa dahil ayaw ko na matunton niya ako, pero it didn't happen here dahil nakilala ko si Erynn at si Owen na hindi ko kayang iwan.

"Lunch with me?" I asked him and I know hindi niya ako tatanggihan.

We went to the nearest resto near the building where he work and after eating, hindi na ako nagdalawang isip na yayain siyang mag-out of town.

We haven't gone out for a vacation yet at gusto ko ng sulitin ang kalayaan ko na malapit ng putulin ni Dad dahil panay na ang padala niya ng texts sa akin.

He already knows that I am here in Canada and everyday, he tells me to go home pero lahat ng mga mensahe niya sa akin ay binubura ko lang. At kahit papalit-palit ako ng numero ay nalalaman pa rin niya kaya I just ignored all of it.

I told Erynn about my little escapade plan with Owen this weekend and she is so excited for me na sinamahan pa niya akong magpack ng gamit kahit kakaunti lang naman ang kailangan ko.

I am putting some things in the corner of my bag when I felt something not familiar to me at pagsilip ko roon ay nanlaki ang mga mata ko at dahan-dahan na inilabas iyon saka ipinakita kay Erynn.

"Really, Loo? One pack??"

"Huwag maarte. Konti lang kaya 'yan. Baka mabitin pa kayo pero sigurado naman ako na may dala rin siya." Kindat niya sa akin kaya binato ko sa kanya ang box ng condom.

Hindi iyon ang balak ko kaya niyaya ko si Owen na magbakasyon somewhere. Masyado naman siyang advance mag-isip. If it will happen, it will happen pero hindi ako ang gagawa ng first move.

"Oh, come on! Tell me, what will you guys do if not that?" Taas kilay niyang tanong.

"We'll talk..... cuddle....."

"Cuddles are for babies." Singit niya sabay hagis pabalik sa akin ng maliit na kahon. "Put that inside your bag where it's safe."

Nasapo ko naman iyon and then I shrugged my shoulders at her. Whatever. I am already an adult and I can do things that I want.

Pagkatapos mag-ayos ng gamit ay naging seryoso ang usapan namin ni Erynn habang pareho kami na nakahiga sa aking kama na nakatingin lang sa puting kisame sa itaas.

"Did your Dad messaged you again?" She asked.

I always tell her when I got something from Dad. Paranoid kasi agad ako and my first instinct is to run.

"He doesn't miss a single day." I sighed.

"Aren't you afraid that he might just knock in your door and drag you out without mercy?"

I am scared. I don't want to go back in the Philippines but what else can I do? I can't run forever. Pagod na ako na magtago at magpalipat-lipat ng bansa.

"I can't sleep properly at night." I admitted.

She knows that kaya nga madalas ay sa apartment niya ako natutulog pero kapag nandoon naman ako ay doble rin ang takot ko dahil habang tumatagal na kasama ko siya, mas malaki ang tiyansa na pati siya ay idamay ni Dad.

I am also risking it with Owen but what can I do? I love him. He is a big part of my reason why I want to just run away. I want to be with him and I never felt this way to any other guy out there.

She held my hand tightly and we go silent for a few minutes until she asked something again.

"What about Owen?"

Napaisip ako sa kanyang tanong. I haven't really plan something this weekend except that I wanted to be away kahit dalawang araw lang ng kaming dalawa lang at baka sakali na mawala ang madaming iniisip ko.

Gusto kong magpanggap na wala akong problema and that we can be together freely but why is it so hard to do? I'm always looking behind me and I can't live like this with him.

"I want to tell him. Do you think he'll understand?" Tingin ko sa kanya.

"If he really loves you, he'll do something to help you. Owen is a great man, I like him for you. He is nice. He got my vote." Ngiti niya.

I don't want to scare Owen and asked him to marry me in such a short time that we've been together. I don't want to ruin something great that happened to me by making him run for the hills because I am rushing things between us.

Maybe the best thing to do is to take things slow at saka ko siya uunti-untiin na sabihan tungkol kay Dad. That way, he'll understand it better and can think things through.

I won't hold him to whatever he will choose to do. Hindi ko pagkakait ang bagay na alam ko kung paano ang pagkaitan niyon. I'll understand him, and no matter what happens, I'll still love him.

"You know, I can go with you anywhere." She appeased my worries.

"Loo, hindi ganoon kadali ang umalis at magsimula uli. Mahihirapan ka at ayaw na kitang idamay pa. You know I love you." Naiiyak kong sabi.

She pouted her lips sadly and hugged me for comfort. I really found a sister in her and somehow in my unlucky situation, I found a blessing. God is still good to me and I still has something to be thankful for every day.

The day of my weekend vacation with Owen arrives and I woke up earlier or if I will just be honest to myself, I've never really slept at night and I couldn't wait for this sunrise so I can be with him.

Sinamahan pa ako ni Erynn hanggang sa baba at niyaya pa siya ni Owen na sumama sa amin pero masyado ng late ang aya niya dahil may trabaho pa si Erynn may-maya.

She would love to come with us pero she wants me to have this moment with Owen alone.

Kinindatan pa niya ako pagsakay ko sa kotse ni Owen at sinenyas ang box na inilagay niya sa aking bag.

"Huwag kalimutan, mabuti na ang sigurado." Bilin niya.

"Loo!" Saway ko sabay tawa niya at saka na ako nagpaalam ng tuluyan sa kanya ng naiiling.

Hindi na namin nasaluhan ng agahan si Erynn at sa daan nalang kami kumain para maagang makarating sa pupuntuhan.

It's a few hours away at ang alam ko, it's a cabin near a forest. Maganda iyon para naman tahimik kaming makapagnilay-nilay na dalawa and the peace that would give me is priceless.

"Oh, wow!"

I was amazed by the great view of the forest from inside our cabin. Akala ko nakakatakot ang itsura na parang horror scene but it's quite the opposite. Pati ang cabin ay homey and relaxing.

"I could stay here forever." I murmured.

"You don't like the city anymore?" He asked.

Hindi ko namalayan na nasa aking likuran lang pala siya kaya narinig niya ako loud and clear.

"I like it here." Tanging sagot ko.

Ayaw ko naman isipin niya na nagpaparamdam na ako kahit ganoon nga ang gusto kong gawin. Mahirap lang panindigan dahil baka hindi matuloy. I don't want to jinx it.

He held me by the waist and earnestly looked at me. "Do you-"

He was cut off by the loud ring of my phone kaya mabilis akong tumalikod sa kanya para kuhanin ang aking cellphone.

"Loo, we're here." I answered right away.

"Oh, good. Don't forget to give me deets. Love you!"

She ended the call right after I say I love you back at her and then not a few seconds passed na hindi ko pa naibababa ang aking phone ay may text na kaagad siya.

R'Loo:

I forgot to tell you. If you don't text me every after 3 hours even just the letter R, I'll call the police to go over there.

Napailing nalang ako sa aking nabasa. She likes Owen but she thinks Owen will what? Kill me? Maybe kill me with his love, yeah. That would be fine with me.

I didn't reply back to her and just went to see how Owen is doing. Wala na siya kung saan kami nakatato kanina nang maputol ang aming usapan dahil sa tawag.

Nakita ko siya sa kuwarto na inaayos ang kama. Naglalagay siya ng mga bagong sheets kaya tinulungan ko siya na mag-ayos doon.

It's still early to eat kaya niyaya ko siya na lumabas at magpunta sa malapit na river pagkatapos namin na ayusin ang kuwarto.

Kaunting lakad lang sa likod ng cabin at nakarating kami sa river. I removed my sweater and dipped in the river with just my bra and my jean shorts.

We enjoyed the river but we mostly just kissed the entire time. Wala pa naman na nangyayari more than that but if we continue to be alone, I believe I will have to thank Erynn when we get back home.

I cooked something for us for lunch and dinner. All through the afternoon 'til midnight, we just stayed in the living room watching a series that he love. Hindi ko rin nakalimutan na i-text ng R si Erynn gaya ng sabi niya.

When I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, I saw my phone lit up at hindi ko alam ano ang sumapi sa akin para tignan ko iyon.

It's another text from my Dad at dahil doon ay nawala ang antok ko kaya nagpunta nalang ako sa kusina at binuksan ko ang wine na nandoon.

I was tempted to call Erynn para lang may makausap ako and to calm me pero masyado ng late at ayaw ko na siyang istorbohin pa. It can wait hanggang sa makauwi ako. For now, I'll try to forget about Dad and drink this wine until I get sleepy.

Hindi na ako nakabalik ng kuwarto at nakatulog nalang sa maliit na sofa sa living area hanggang sa magising sa umaga.

There was still no sign of Owen kaya tahimik ako na bumalik ng kuwarto at tinabihan siya sa kama. Ni hindi niya napansin na ilang oras ako na wala sa tabi niya.

My head hurts when I woke up kaya wala rin kaming nagawa ni Owen maghapon kung hind humiga sa kama. He didn't mind though, and stayed with me all afternoon.

Bumawi naman ako nang umayos ang aking pakiramdam at nagluto ng aming dinner na na-enjoy naman niya.

Since I escaped my Dad and going from country to country, natuto na akong magluto para sa aking sarili kahit papaano. Minsan kami ni Erynn ay nag-eeksperimento pa ng kung anong lutuin na swak sa aming panlasa.

Nakapagtrabaho rin ako noon sa isang restaurant at nakikita ko kung paano gawin ang mga inaahin sa mga customers. Hindi nga lang ako nagtagal doon dahil mabilis lang ako sa bansang iyon.

We were almost done eating dinner when I heard my phone rings so excuse myself to Owen for the second time this night.

It was just a number and I know not to answer it kaya bumalik nalang ulit ako kay Owen.

"Sorry, it's Erynn." I excused sabay peke na ngumitii nalang sa kanya.

"She okay?" He asked.

Napabalik pa ako ng tingin sa kanya nang tanungin niya si Erynn at tumango nalang. I don't want to lie at ayaw ko naman na biglain siya kahit gaano ko kagusto na sabihin nalang ang lahat. Natatakot din kasi ako sa magiging desisyon niya and I don't want to ruin our vacation. This is supposed to be our weekend. Just us.

Agad ako na tumayo at kinuha ang mga plato sa lamesa at nilagay lahat iyon sa sink. Kahit wala akong balak na hugasan ang mga iyon ngayong gabi ay ginawa ko na rin to take my mind off of things about Dad.

He never calls. Puro text lang ang pinapadala niya sa akin pero napapadalas na ang ganito. If he already found me, I wonder kung bakit hindi pa niya ako pinuntahan hanggang ngayon.

Owen back hugged me kaya sa kanya naounta ang aking atensyon at bahagya akong nagulat saka tumaas ang aking balahibo nang maramdaman ang kanyang labi na dumampi sa aking leeg.

"Hmm...." Hindi ko napigilan na lumabas sa aking bibig.

He moved his hands from my waist to my hands and grabbed the plate from mine putting it down the sink saka niya ako hinarap sa kanya and kissed me hungrily.

Hinayaan ko siya na angkinin ang aking labi and I kept my hands away from his shirt dahil ayaw ko naman siyang mabasa o madumihan dahil hindi pa ako nakakapaghugas, pero kinuha niya ang aking mga kamay at inilagay iyon sa kanyang dibdib.

He lifted my body up and sat me on the counter near the sink and positioned his body in between my thighs. It's getting hotter and hotter until our kiss was broken up by the blaring ring tone of his phone that I thought was mine kaya agad akong bumaba at tumayo.

"Sorry." He said and answered his phone pero nakailang hello na siya at wala yatang sumagot kaya binaba niya rin agad.

"Where are we?" He smiled flirtatiously.

Hindi ko na nakuhang sumagot dahil kasunod ng kanya ay phone ko naman ang tumunog. It was a message from an unknown number that I know came from my Dad.

Unknown:

You are not giving me much of a choice.

I wish I got a chance to choose my own crown and have the choice to reject the crown that is forced to put on my head.

It's really heavy not just on my head but I can also feel how heavy it is in my heart.