Hiraeth

Chapter 5: Noteworthy

Days passed like a bullet out of gun. Wala pa ring improvements sa kondisyon ni Levi. Kung may pagbabago man ay paurong pa. While Mom was out for business trip in Cebu, Kuya and I remained civil. Kakausapin lang ako kapag kailangan. I understand, of course. Hindi pa rin kasi ako nakakahanap ng t'yempo para makausap siya. He's real busy.

"Tsokolate niyo, Ma'am."

Nilapag ni Margarette ang tasa ng mainit na tsokolate sa lamesa. Its sweet aroma instantly invaded my nose. I stared at the cup for a moment and smiled secretly. It was my favorite cup. Mommy knew me too well that no matter how far the renovation of the mansion went, they chose the better option to just leave my cup alone. Kulay pink ang cup at may disenyong maliit na baboy sa gitna. It was made personally for me and it was pretty obvious because of my name that was beautifully engraved above the piggy head.

Actually, it was Levi's gift for me when we were in highschool. Alam niya kasing ayaw ko ng ganito. I hate cups and picture frame—especially towels—as gifts. Sobrang tipikal at hindi man lang espesyal. Kaso ay parang tanga si Levi. We were just friends that time and it became one of his hobbies to annoy me to death. How ironic it was that it suddenly held a special place in my heart. Sa pamamagitan kasi ng cup na ito ay naaalala ko si Levi at kung paano kami nagsimula.

"Thank you..." I gave Margarette a slight smile before she turned her back from me.

Nanuot ang pinaghalong init at tamis sa dila ko nang sumimsim sa kape, mabilis naman na gumuhit ang init sa dibdib ko. It was hot yet refreshing. Between coffee and chocolate drink, I'll always opt for the second.

"Where's Nanay Beth?" tanong ko kay Margarette na nagpupunas ng mesa.

"Umidlip po. Napagod kasi siguro sa paglalaba. Tawagin ko po?"

I shook my head. "Pakisabi na lang kay Mang Diego na ihanda 'yung sasakyan. I might go somewhere later."

I actually don't have plans yet at least for today. Hindi pa rin kasi sumasagot sa 'kin ang secretary ko. It was supposed to be a good thing dahil ang ibig sabihin lang no'n, walang problema. But I was tremendously freaking bored and it's pretty much death-dealing. Pakiramdam ko ay busy ang lahat ng tao sa paligid ko samantalang ako, bahay at ospital lang. Siguro ay sasama na lang ako kay Bailey one of these days. Kung 'di man ako makatulong sa research nila ay guguluhin ko na lang sila.

I went back to my room after drinking my hot chocolate and I think I just came on the button because my phone was ringing. My heart pumped aggresively as I saw his name flashing on the screen.

I stared at it for some seconds until the ringing sound produced by the phone call stopped. Mas lalo akong kinabahan. My phone rang again and my fingers trembled as I pulled out the charging cable from the outlet.

"D-Dad..."

Kinagat ko ang index finger ko para matigil sa panginginig. Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. My chest asked for a fresh air so I quickly slid the door that seperates my room to its balcony.

"Blaire! I've been calling you for thirty minutes! What took you so long?"

Parang tinambol ang puso ko sa pagtaas ng boses niya. I bit my lower lip. I could sense the growing rage from his voice and I shouldn't be surprised. Dad has the slightest patience among us and I just made him wait for God knows how many minutes. I couldn't help but feel on edge everytime he's like this.

"I..." I pressed my eyes closed. "I'm... s-sorry Dad. Galing po kasi akong kusina. I... kind of... left my phone inside-"

"Excuses!" Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat. "You're always full of excuses! Next time, always bring your phone with you! Paano na lang kung tungkol sa negosyo ang tawag at hindi mo nasagot? You don't have your secretary beside you this time. Be responsible!"

"N-Noted dad. I'm sorry."

He breathed heavily. I could even imagine him massaging his temple while his forehead was creased. God.

"Irresponsible... so irresponsible," he whispered.

My hand fell on my side. Pinagdiin ko ang mga labi ko. Kung kanina ay tumatahip ang puso ko. Ngayon, para itong paulit-ulit na kinukurot.

"Dad..."

"Just be attentive next time, Blaire. You will lose opportunities kapag ganiyan ka. Palagi ko na lang sinasabi sa 'yo 'to. Parang hindi ka natututo, ano?"

Hindi ako nagsalita kaya natahimik din siya sa kabilang linya. I was trying to weigh the gravity of his mood so I'd know whether it's right to speak or not. It's one of the things I've learned about Dad. Kapag galit siya, mas mabuting 'wag na lang magsalita. Dad has the power to twist tongues so he would be in the favorable side of the argument.

Minutes passed and he wasn't speaking yet. I was about to speak when I heared his voice again and since I knew better, I decided to just shut.

"Anyway, I called to tell you something. Where are you?"

Agad naman akong naalarma. Humigit ako ng upuan at pinakalma ang sarili. Kapag kausap ko si Dad, dapat walang ibang tumatakbo sa isip ko kung 'di ang sinasabi niya. If it was for business, I wasnt her daughter. I was an employee.

"What is it, Dad? Nasa balcony po ako."

"I just want to inform you na may pagbabago sa schedule ko. It was urgent. Maraming kailangang asikasuhin sa negosyo at hindi ako p'wedeng mag-take ng break. Tell them I can't make it on March."

My jaw hit the floor.

I c****d my head as I found his words hard to apprehend. The way he said it, sobrang casual lang. Parang hindi mahalagang araw ang kinansela niya para sa negosyo. Tumayo ako at pumasok sa loob ng k'warto. Hindi nawala ang gitla sa noo ko hanggang sa sumalampak ako sa dulo ng kama. Ilang beses kong binuka ang bibig ko para magkumento at sa ilang beses na 'yon, walang tumakas na salita.

Hindi siya uuwi?

But Mom was expecting for him! And Bailey! Sobrang excited pa nga ni Mommy kasi finally, after two years, makukumpleto kami!

Tapos... ganito?

"Dad..." I exhaled and massaged my temple. "Alam na po ba ni Mommy?"

"Blaire." He sighed. "You know your Mom is busy. She has to focus. I'm expecting her to close the deal with Oroscos in Cebu. Do you think it is the best time to bother her? Dahil lang dito? I won't risk it."

Dahil lang dito?

My shoulders fell in disappointment. I was positive that Mom wouldn't like the idea. She's excited for Bailey's graduation and I even heard her planning something for the celebration. And si Bailey. Alam kong ganoon din siya. For sure, hearing about this would make the two sad. Ayaw ko namang mag-valedictory speech ang kapatid ko nang low-spirit.

I know... There was one time I prayed to all the gods and goddesses to delay the inevitable about me being scolded by my scary Dad. I was afraid to hear too much from him while I wasn't yet done dealing with my other troubles. But that doesn't mean I abhor the idea of him going home especially for Bailey's graduation.

"I... I know she can make it, Dad. Mommy's good. Pero..."

I couldn't help but heave out a deep sigh. Ngayon pa lang ay nakikita ko na ang dismayadong mukha ni mommy. This would be a terrible news for her, I know.

"I-Is it about business?" Hindi siya sumagot. "Kaya po ba kayo hindi makakauwi... dahil po sa negosyo?" Nanatili siyang tikom kaya nabuntong-hininga ako. "Dad, it is Bailey's graduation and... he's expecting you to be there..."

Pahina nang pahina ang boses ko. I couldn't remember when was the last time I've talked to Dad without sweating. I was afraid and I still am. I don't want to make a mistake by saying something that would definitely pull his trigger. Minsan kasi, akala ko ay okay lang sa kaniya 'yung sinabi ko. Then it will turn out, ayaw niya pala. Kaya kapag si Daddy talaga ang kausap ko, mas gusto kong makinig na lang.

But on the other hand, I knew I have to convince him. I badly needed to. I hope he could set aside business this time. Kahit ngayon nga lang. This is Bailey's graduation we are talking about. We are supposed to make it a special day for him but with Dad's absence? After we all expected na uuwi siya? Hindi ko na alam.

But I couldn't just tell him that.

"I know... Pero kailangan din ako sa Seoul. It is supposed to be you, actually. Pero anong ginawa mo? Umuwi ka diyan, 'di ba? You chose your fiancee. At sino ang inaasahan mong sasalo sa mga pending na gawain? 'Di ba ako rin? And now Bailey's graduation is coming. Paano ako makakapunta do'n gaya ng gusto mo? This is what I'm telling you, Blaire..."

He seemed so disappointed. I breathed heavily and inclined my head down. Right. Kasalanan ko na naman. Alam ko na kung anong kasunod nito.

You're such a disappointment.

Narinig ko na 'yon.

"You should've just stayed in Seoul to finish the papers. Kahit sana magsabay na lang tayo pauwi sa unang linggo ng March. Hindi naman gano'n kadami ang kailangan kong tapusin dito sa Spain."

He already told me that. Noon pa, bago ako umuwi. Pero hindi ako mapakali sa Seoul. I'd just screw everything up if I will choose to continue working despite all the worries gyrating inside my head. Lalo na kapag naaalala ko ang sinabi ni Ate Faye sa phone. Levi wasn't in a good shape, she told me. Sabi ni Kuya ay exagged lang daw si Ate. Pero alam kong hindi. At nang umuwi ako, nakumpirma kong hindi nga. She wasn't exaggerating things. Totoo ang sinabi niya at wala akong pinagsisisihan.

"Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit madaling madali ka sa pag-uwi diyan," he added.

"Levi's sick, Dad. I'm worried."

"And so? Will it change the fact na comatose siya kapag bumalik ka diyan? Ngayon na kasama mo na ulit siya, nagising ba? May nagbago ba?"

"Dad..."

I know he'd never understand. Other things for him aside from business were petty. Dad's mind- feeling ko ay 98% filled with business 'yon.

"You never failed to disappoint me with your reckless decisions, Madison Blaire."

Ngumiti ako, sanay na.

Si Dad ang unang nagbaba ng tawag. He just reminded me to inform my brothers about his schedule. Napahinga ako nang malalim. His decision was firm. Si Kuya lang talaga ang nakakabali sa mga desisyon niya. Minsan nga ay iniisip ko na 'yun ang dahilan kung bakit favorite niya si Kuya. Kaya naman ginagawa ko rin ang same tactics. I tried to be as courageous as him and tried to refute Dad's decisions. Kaso sa huli ay napapagalitan lang ako. Epic fail. Ano naman daw kasi ang alam ko?

Chelzie:

I'm sorry, Blaire. Hindi talaga ako p'wede. I have a lot of things to do. Baka nga mag OT pa ako mamaya.

Napa-buntong hininga ako. Nauubusan na talaga ako ng gagawin para sa araw na 'to. Gusto ko sanang mag-mall kaso ay ayaw ko namang gumagala mag-isa. Feeling ko kasi, sobrang kawawa ako kapag mag-isa lang ako ta's maraming magkakaibigan sa paligid ko. Kaya kapag wala rin akong kasama, hindi na 'ko tumutuloy. I never tried.

My last resort was visiting Levi but Tita Martha adviced na 'wag daw muna.

I understand. Kakauwi lang kasi ni Madame Eliza. She's Levi's grandmother, nanay ni Tito Gabby. She's staying in Canada for their business and been there for God knows since when.

And she never really wanted me for her grandson.

Okay naman kami no'n dati. I even called her Lola. Kilala niya kasi ako bilang best friend ni Levi. Lumaki akong naglalaro noon sa mansyon nila dahil palagi akong nayayamot sa bahay. I thought she'd be happy kapag nalaman niyang girlfriend ako ng apo niya.

But she wasn't.

She's gone mad.

Sobra.

Naging cold na siya sa 'kin matapos no'n. Ayaw na ayaw niyang tinatawag ko siyang Lola. I'd never be part of her family, sabi niya. Hindi naman ako tanga. Alam ko kung bakit. She's been rooting for someone else all this time.

Thaliya Tianco is the name.

The president's unica hija.

Tianco... The family was one of Gilmore's allies. Noon pa man ay magkakampi na talaga sila. When it comes to politics ay malakas talaga ang mga Tianco. Maraming supporters, 'e. 'Yun nga lang, nang mamatay ang matandang Gilmore, medyo nawala ang connections nila. Palibhasa, ayaw ni Tito Gabby pumasok sa politics. And now that Madame Eliza's planning to continue the legacy of her late husband, she's starting to build the connection again. Tatakbo raw siyang senador sa susunod na halalan ayon sa naririnig ko.

At anong kailangan niya?

Ang mga dating kaibigan.

She knows she could use Thaliya for her senatorial ambition.

'E ako? Ano namang ambag ko?

Funds for her campaign? Mayaman siya. May negosyo sila sa Canada. Hindi niya kakailanganin ang pamilya ko 'di tulad ng pangangailangan niya sa mga Tianco.

I already met Thaliya multiple times and true enough, she's a good friend to Levi. The first time I met her was when we were in high school. She wasn't studying in Costello Academy but she went there to support her cousin, Quinn, who was the representative of their section for the yearly pageant. 'Yun nga lang ay hindi siya nanalong representative ng sophomores dahil mas pinaburan ng judge si Chelzie, kahit pa malakas ang kapit ni Quinn. 

Thaliya's also with us when we celebrated Levi's 21st birthday in Singapore. Wala naman akong naging problema doon. Levi clarified that they were only friends and nothing more. Alam naman daw ni Thaliya 'yon. Isa pa, mabuting tao naman daw ang mga Tianco. That's what I heard. So far, wala naman akong napapansin na iba. Si Thaliya... she looked nice. You could always see her smiling. Napaka-accomodating niya. It's a major plus that she's also a philanthropist, as they said.

Nang hindi ko na kinaya ang pagkayamot ay lumabas na 'ko ng k'warto. I brought my phone with me kahit alam ko namang 'di na tatawag si Daddy. Nevertheless, I had to follow his orders.

Naisip kong magmall na lang. Tumila naman na ang ulan. I'd probably ask Margarette to come with me. Wala rin naman si Bailey dahil nasa school pa. I know she might find it weird but I really was bored and I couldn't just go alone. Sabi ni Mommy, may mga guards naman daw na bumubuntot sa 'kin paminsan-minsan. But that's not the point. I need someone who could hang-out with me and obviously, the guards were never an option.

"Si Margarette?" I asked one of the maids. May hawak siyang feather duster at tinatanggalan ng alikabok ang mga cute na figurines.

"Nasa baba po, naghahanda sa pag-alis."

"Pag-alis?"

She nodded. "Opo. Masama po kasi pakiramdam ni Manang Beth, 'e. Si Garette po 'yung nautusang mamalengke."

Kumunot ang noo ko. It rang a bell. "Garette..." I echoed in a hush while nodding my head slowly.

The name sounds familiar. Siya ba 'yung tinutukoy noon ni Jehoram? 'Yung mahilig sa leche flan? I racked my head. That shouldn't be my concern. Kung friends man siya sa isa sa mga maids namin, wala na dapat akong pake.

Bumaba ako para puntahan si Margarette. I really feel lighthearted towards her. Maybe because of the familiarity? Sa two years kasi na nasa Seoul ako, ang daming nagbago. Pati mga mukha sa bahay ay nagbago rin. I heard Mommy has trust issues when it comes to the people she's letting inside. 'Di ko maintindihan kung bakit pati 'yung mga maids na mukha namang trustworthy noon, tinanggal din niya. Buti na lang ay nandito pa si Margarette. Siya lang ang kilala ko sa kanila, pati si Manang Beth.

"Garette."

Naabutan ko siyang nag-aayos ng sarili sa salamin. Nang makita ang repleksyon ko ay tinanggal niya kaagad ang nakaipit na goma sa bibig niya. She turned her back and faced me, still holding some strands of her hair.

"Ma'am! Aalis na po ba kayo?"

Nagtuloy ako sa paglalakad. "Yes. Bilisan mo diyan."

"Po?"

"Bilisan mo. Sasama ako sa 'yo."

"Po?" mas tumaas ang boses niya, halatang nagulat.

I creased my forehead and faced her, and guess what? I was right. Nanlalaki ang mga mata niya at ang kamay niya, sumuko na sa pagsisiklop ng mga hibla ng buhok.

"I'll go with you. Mamamalengke ka, 'di ba?"

"Ha?" Nalaglag ang panga niya. Tumaas ang kilay ko. Nang magbalik sa Earth, para siyang robot na tumango.

"O-Opo!"

She looked pretty amused and I could say that because of that obvious gleam in her eyes. Pinigilan kong mapangiti. She's cute. Napailing ako at tumalikod. Ramdam ko naman ang pagsunod niya sa 'kin, sinisilip ako mula sa gilid ko.

"Ma'am..." Even her voice sounded so regaled. "Talaga po? Sasama ka? Sa wet market po ako mamimili, ha? Ex ko po kasi yung salesman do'n sa supermarket. Doon po sa bayan? Kaya sa magulong palengke ako pupunta. Walang aircon. Mainit. Siksikan-"

"Ano ba? Bibilisan mo ba diyan o ako na lang ang aalis?"

"Sige po!" She said with utmost enthusiasm.

Nagsalubong ang mga kilay ko. I halted and averted my amused gaze on her. Mukha siyang bata na binigyan ng lollipop. She found everything so amusing and I don't know what earned me her expression. Napakaliit pa naman niyang babae. She looked younger than me or probably somewhat close to Bailey's age. Or just a bit older?

Napapitlag siya nang marealize kung ano ang sinabi niya.

"Ah! Ibig ko pong sabihin, sige po! Bibilisan ko na po!" She then ran away with all possible haste. The other maids found her weird. Nabaling sa akin ang mga nagtatanong nilang mata. I just shrugged, all smiles. Hindi na ako mayayamot kapag nandito sa bahay. Margarette herself is a potential clown. She has the power to c***k people up and I was thankful for that.

Siguro ay hihingiin ko na lang din kay Ate Faye ang schedule ni Madame Eliza. My time with Levi would be constrained dahil sa pagdating niya. For sure, alam niya na ang tungkol sa engagement namin ng apo niya. Hindi pa naman siya 'yung tipo ng tao na may pinapalampas na pagkakataon. She always wore her heart on her sleeves. Malamang, nakahanda na lahat ng sasabihin niya sa 'kin. And I wasn't yet prepared to hear her lengthy speech. Kaya 'wag muna. Ayoko muna siyang makita.

"Ma'am. Sigurado po ba kayo na itong Chevrolet gagamitin natin?"

"Why not?"

"Ayaw po kasi ng Mommy niyo na nilalabas 'tong sasakyan 'e. Dapat may approval niya. Na-trauma po ata kay Kuya Ramon. May trust issue, 'e."

"That's fine. Sinabi ko naman sa kaniya na ilalabas ko 'to."

She nodded. "Matanong lang kita, Ma'am... Bakit ka po sasama? 'Di ka po ba bibisita sa ospital?"

"I'm bored," tipid kong sagot, silently praying she'd stop asking.

Mabuti naman at natahimik na rin siya. I wanted her to be my friend but I don't really like answering whys. Nagkibit-balikat na lang siya at nagngiting-aso. Sinuot ko ang dalang earphones, nakinig sa mga kanta ni Ed Sheeran at sinandal ang ulo sa bintana. Margarette began to discuss petty things with Mang Diego- the family driver who happened to be Jehoram's father- na hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin lubos na mapaniwalaan.

Maya-maya pa, biglang umalog ang inuupuan ko. Napalingon ako kay Margarette dahil sa tabi ko siya naupo. Dumadaldal na naman ang babae. Feeling ko, magkakasundo sila ni Chelzie. O baka nga kilala na nila ang isa't isa dahil mas madalas pa sa bahay tumambay ang isang 'yon.

Buka nang buka ang bibig niya. Yet, her words weren't audible to my ears. Nilalamon kasi ito ng music sa earphones ko. Nakita kong humilig siya sa pagitan ng driver at shotgun seat. Kinukulit pa rin niya si Manong.

We were already at the shopping centre and the supermarket was just a few kilometers from there. Kaso ang sabi ni Margarette kanina ay sa wet market daw kami pupunta. May iniiwasan daw. 'Yung ex niyang salesman? Tss. Buti na lang, sanay din akong mamili sa wet market. Sumasama kasi ako no'n kay Manang Beth. She preferred wet market, too. Tindera kasi siya ng isda bago namasukan sa 'min. Sabi niya, bawat customer daw doon ay mahalaga. Mahirap daw kasi do'n kumita. Kaya kapag may pagkakataon ay mas pinipili niyang mamili doon bilang tulong na lang sa mga tindera.

Patuloy na kinukulit ni Margarette si Mang Diego. I could even see him laugh from the rare-view mirror. Margarette's lips were slightly parted and her eyes were gleaming. Sinundan ng mga mata niya ang dinaanan ng sasakyan.

My brows furrowed. Tinanggal ko ang pagkakasukbit earphones sa tainga ko para marinig ang pinag-uusapan nila. I was curious. Fine.

Mang Diego's barritone laugh barged in. "Bibili 'yan ng ulam. Inunahan na naman si Sienna."

"Talaga? Siya po ang namamalengke, Mang Diego? Wow!"

He laughed. "Ayaw na ayaw niyang napapagod 'yung Nanay niya. Pasaway na bata 'yan 'e. Kahit pagod sa simbahan, dederetso agad sa palengke. Nakikipag-unahan lagi kay Sienna."

Margarette squealed. "Grabe! Super bait talaga ni Jehoram, Mang Diego!"

The surges in my blood went vigorous as I heard the name. Bigla kong naalala 'yung gabi na nakita ko siya sa ospital. I've almost forgot!

"Naku! Sinabi mo pa. Mas'werte nga kami ni Sienna. Maaasahan talagang bata."

Umayos ako ng upo, tinanggal ang bara sa lalamunan.

"Anong meron?"

Nabaling sa 'kin ang atensyon ni Margarette. She grinned like a Cheshire cat. Mas nabuhayan ata siya kasi nakisali ako sa usapan. Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang humilig sa 'kin. Before I could react, siniksik niya na ang sarili niya at inangkla ang braso sa 'kin. I flinched when she squealed.

"Nakita namin si Jehoram, Ma'am! Papunta rin siyang palengke! Tapos alam mo ba? Ang sweet sweet niyang anak! Ayaw na ayaw niyang napapagod si Aling Sienna! Kulang na lang, siya na rin ang magbantay sa karinderya nila! Halos lahat, siya ang gumagawa! Ang bait!" Tumili na naman siya.

"Jehoram?"

"Opo! Si Jehoram, Ma'am! Hindi niyo po ba kilala? 'Yung gwapong anak ni Mang Diego!" Manong laughed. "God! Gwapo na, mabait pa! Tapos masipag! Wala talagang binatbat 'yung ex ko!"

"You saw him?"

Paulit-ulit siyang tumango. "Opo, Ma'am. Naglalakad!"

Sinubukan kong lingunin ang pinanggalingan ng sasakyan. But we drove already too far for me to see where he was. Dagdagan pa ng malabong salamin ng bintana dahil kakatila lang ng ulan. It's a positive thing that the skies already calmed down. Feeling ko, mahirap mamili sa wet market kapag maulan.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi ni Margarette. Kung galing siya sa simbahan- like what Mang Diego said- sino siya sa akala niya para gawing walking distance ang simbahan at palengke? He had to walk almost two kilometers para lang marating 'yon!

"Isabay na kaya natin?"

The car came to a grinding halt. Agad lumayo sa 'kin si Margarette. Inangat ko ang mga kilay ko sa kanila na proud sa suggestion. Nilingon naman ako ni Mang Diego mula sa rearview mirror, may malalim na gitla sa noo.

"Ha?" Margarette gave me an are-you-serious look.

Tumango ako. I even smiled sincerely so she'd know that I was serious and that was completely fine. "Si Jehoram... 'Di ba sa palengke lang din naman 'yung punta niya? Isabay na natin..."

Nilingon na ako ni Mang Diego.

"Sigurado ka, Ma'am? Sanay naman po sa mahabang lakaran 'yun. Tsaka... baka gabihin pa tayo kapag hinintay natin siya rito."

"Yie! Ang bait naman ni Ma'am! Kahit 'di kilala, concerned!"

I scowled when Margarette poke her finger beside my tummy. She teased me relentlessly with that annoying smugly smile crept across her face. Muling humarap si Mang Diego sa steering wheel at humalakhak.

"Ano ka ba! Kilala ni Ma'am 'yon si Ram-ram! Nagkakilala na sila no'ng nakaraan. Hinatid pa nga ni Ram sa ospital, 'e. Tsaka... noong nalasing si Ma'am? Si Jehoram din 'yung tumulong sa kaniya. Mukhang close na nga sila 'e. 'Di ba, Ma'am?"

Umuwang ang bibig ko. Margarette was astounded. Umiling ako sa kaniya. Kalaunan ay sinamaan niya 'ko ng tingin. She's glaring at me like I just played her false. Like she's... betrayed.

"We're just... acquainted. Tsaka no'ng nalasing ako, coincidence lang 'yon."

"Talaga?"

"Oo nga!"

"Coincidence lang? Ano 'yon? Nalasing ka tapos coincidence lang na napulot ka ni Jehoram-"

"Garette!" suway ni Manong.

"Manong! Narinig ko 'yon! Pinagchichismisan kaya nina Kikay. Akala ko nga inaasar lang nila ako, 'e. Totoo pala."

Umirap ako. "Coincidence nga lang!"

Cocking her head, her eyes shrank like she did not believe me. And since I am an Ataluna and I was born impatient like my entire family, I rolled my eyes at her. Ang arte ng babaeng 'to. Exaggerated pa siyang bumuga ng hangin. I wagged my head. Bagay nga sila ni Chelzie. OA sila pareho.

"Oh siya! Sige na nga! Acquainted! Ano, Manong? Hintayin ba natin si Jehoram dito? Matagal pa 'yun."

"What if... Mag-U-turn na lang tayo?"

Napaisip ako sa sariling idea. It wasn't bad. Kaysa naman tumunganga lang kami rito habang hinihintay siya. He wasn't even aware that we're actually waiting for him. I nodded my head to support my idea.

"Tama. Balikan na lang natin si Jehoram, Manong. Let's pick him up to wherever he is."

Their eyes bore into me. As if it was weird. Like I was weird. Kung makatingin sila, para akong na-possess ng masamang espiritu. Itong dalawang 'to... Wala ba 'kong karapatang maging mabuting tao?

"Para hindi sayang oras," I reasoned-out.

I didn't give them a chance to ask further. Sinuot ko ulit ang earphones at sumandal sa bintana. Margarette shrugged her shoulders while Mang Diego grinned and wagged his head. At the end, he followed what I have suggested.

We found Jehoram across the broad street. Lahat kami ay nakatingin sa direksyon niya at pinapanood ang bawat kilos niya. Beside him was an old woman with visible deep furrows on her skin. She looked craggy. She's holding a clutch on her right hand while the other one was on Jehoram's palm. His free hand was on the feeble back of the old woman, guiding her as she took small steps across the stret.

Nang makatawid ay binitawan niya ang matanda. He smiled. My lips parted when he suddenly hugged the old woman. Nang bumitaw ay hinaplos niya ang buhok nito. Parang may humaplos sa puso ko nang dumukot si Jehoram sa bulsa niya. With a beam, he handed a bill to the woman.

A genuine smile crept on my lips and this time, I was not anymore bothered to conceal it.

I always think of the world as a place with ample ignorance. Akala ko ay puro pera lang ang mga tao. Akala ko, wala silang pake sa mga nasa paligid nila. Why would they even dare to reach a hand when they need both of it? Lalo na kung hindi naman nila kilala? 'E kaya ka nga may kaibigan para sa kanila humingi ng tulong. Pero hindi pala. Kahit sino pala p'wedeng tulungan.

Kahit hindi kilala.

Jehoram... and his altruistic heart, is definitely a mind opener.

Sometimes, those people with shallowest pockets are actually the ones with deepest concern for the people around them.

'Di ko man lang napansin si Mang Diego na lumabas ng sasakyan. Jehoram seemed surprised yet confused when he saw him. They talked and I could see how hard it is for Mang Diego to explain because he, himself, is confused as hell, too. Jehoram averted his gaze to our car and in an instant, adrenaline rushed over me. Parang biglang gusto kong magtago sa kinauupuan. My heart did a series of waves in anticipation. Ngayon ko lang narealize kung ano 'tong ginawa ko. Why did I even insist to offer him a ride? Pinabalikan ko pa. 'E, sinabi naman na ni Manong na sanay siya maglakad. 'Di ka na naman nag-iisip, Blaire!

I wasn't yet done cogitating my ideas and decisions in life when I saw him approaching our direction. Nauna pang mataranta sa akin si Margarette. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang bigla siyang tumayo.

"Margarette!"

She transferred herself to the backseat and heavily plumped down.

"Why did you-"

My mouth hang open nang bumukas ang pinto. Sa gilid ng mata ko ay pansin ko ang pagyuko ni Margarette. May patago-tago pang nalalaman ang gaga. Binalingan ko si Jehoram. He's standing at the threshold and his brows are in a deep furrows, obviously hesitating if he should come inside or not.

"Ma'am..." Mukha siyang stress na stress, wala pa naman akong sinasabi. "Sure ka ba rito? Isasabay mo 'ko?"

I gulped, tumango at bahagyang nag-iwas ng tingin. "Why not?"

"Anong why not? Hindi naman kailangan 'e."

I rolled my eyes. "Kahit na. Gano'n din naman. We're on our way to the marken and then we saw you. There's no big deal, Jehoram. It's just a simple help."

"Pero hindi niyo na dapat-"

"Come on! Are we going to spend time counting reasons why you should accept my offer or not? Pumasok ka na kaya? Nandito na kami oh." I tapped the space beside me.

Wala siyang nagawa. Huminga siya nang malalim at marahang pumasok. Ang bigat pa ng yapak niya. Napairap ako. Halatang labag sa loob, ah! Kung umakto siya, parang sa impyerno ko siya niyayang pumasok.

"Seriously, parang anak na kaya ang turing ni Ma'am Leira dito sa sasakyan. Baka magalit siya." Bothered pa rin siya kahit nakasara na ang pinto at umaandar na ang sasakyan.

"And why would she?"

"Why would she?" he echoed like I was being sarcastic. "Malamang! Nagpapasakay ka ng ibang tao!"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Bakit? Ibang tao ka ba?"

Natigilan siya. Ako rin. Tapos si Manong din. Sinulyapan ko si Margarette at mukha siyang natuod sa likod. Umiwas ng tingin si Manong at hinawakan ang collar ng polo niya. He pulled it like the whole situation is making it hard for him to breathe. It's too late when I realized what I have said. Hindi naman gano'n ang ibig kong sabihin!

He found it hard to recover. He couldn't even blink. Nakauwang lang ang labi niya habang nakatingin sa 'kin. He's staring at me like the moment was something bizarre. Like I just said the pithiest words in the world.

I cleared my throat, averting my eyes away from them.

"I mean... Anak ka ni Mang Diego. He's our driver. Kilala na kayo nina Mommy. Hindi ka na ibang tao sa kanila."

Sinulyapan ko siya. He's pursing his lips hard and obviously resisting the temptation to smile. I gave him a dagger look but it obviously did not affect him even in a smallest degree. Pinaglaruan niya ang mga daliri at tinuon ang mga mata sa harap.

"Pero iba kasi 'to. Mahal na mahal kaya ni Ma'am Leira 'tong sasakyan. Tapos sabi pa ni Garette, may trust issues daw-"

"Hoy wala 'kong sinabi!" Nakalimutan ata ni Margarette na nagtatago siya.

Jehoram's brows shaped like a rounded vault. Maganda rin pala na umepal si Margarette dahil nalimutan niya ang sinabi ko kanina. Nilingon niya 'yung isa sa likod. Jehoram looked surprised. 'Di niya malamang inasahan na dala rin namin si Margarette. And as for Margarette, nagpanggap din siyang gulat.

"Garette!" Jehoram exclaimed which made Margarette laugh. Halos pamulahan siya ng mukha nang ngumiti si Jehoram. "Nandiyan ka pala."

"Ahh.." She smiled sheepishly, nakuha pang magkamot ng ulo. "Oo. Kakagising ko lang kasi." She faked a yawn. "Sige, usap lang kayo diyan. 'Wag niyo 'ko pansinin."

With her closed eyes, she leaned her back and crossed her arms. She's a great pretender. Or maybe an actress to make it sound better.

Jehoram chuckled and shifted to his seat before averting his attention back to me. He stared at me for a moment and that made me quite uncomfortable. I shifted to my seat, too, and tried my hardest to locked my eyes with his.

"Back to you," he said.

I altered my gaze away when I couldn't longer withstand the intensity of his stares. "Really, it's okay Jehoram... Mas kilala ko naman si Mommy. Or maybe just think of it as my pay back. May utang ako sa 'yo, 'di ba?"

"Utang?"

"Yes! When you took care of me! Nakalimutan ko kasi mag-thank you. Nagmamadali kasi si Kuya 'e, kaya 'yun, nawala na rin sa isip ko. Thank you, ah? Kung iba 'yun, baka pinabayaan na lang ako sa lansangan."

Mang Diego laughed. "Kung iba 'yon, inuwi ka na sa kanila. Tapos nanghingi ng ransom."

"Tay!"

I chuckled. "Yeah. Kaya nga thankful ako na si Jehoram 'yun, Manong. At least, 'di ba? Nothing awful happened."

"Okay ka na ba?" Jehoram wore his consoling look. I already got what he meant.

I smiled. "Not yet... Pero malapit na. I was done contemplating my decisions and yeah, most of them sucked."

He nodded. "But don't be afraid to get sucked. Nagkakamali naman lahat ng tao, 'e. Parte ng buhay 'yon. And the next time you screw up, ayan si Tatay oh. Patawagan mo lang ako. Human tissue ata 'to." Inuntog pa niya 'yung kamao niya sa dibdib niya.

I guffawed. I nodded at him. Somehow, I was grateful. My head was filled with so much negativity but thankfully, I found some people whose optimism was contagious. Those people you really could rely on and some people you could call to ask for comforts. I was lucky to be surrounded by people who could lighten me up every knackering times and make me fathom things out when my mind was in a horrible haywire to do so. And for that, I was grateful. Beyond grateful.

Kinuha ko ang earphones ko at sinuot itong muli. I am too chuffed to remove a smile. Kahit ipikit ko ang mga mata ko ay 'di ko pa rin mabura ang ngiti ko. How can I be too happy when I was inside a can of too many worms? Hindi ko alam. P'wede naman sigurong maging grateful kahit maraming problema.

Before I could turn up the volume, I heard someone's whisper beside me.

"I can receive so many thank yous from different people everyday and still be in awe if it is from you."

And I guess, that day wasn't all bad. It was out of the ordinary. Noteworthy, I'd say.

***

Proverbs 11:25 |

A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshened.