Promise of Eternity

Chapter 7

“Ate, si Kuya Tristan tumawag!” sigaw ni Triton mula sa sala.

“Okay!” I shouted back as I put down my pen and turn off the light on my study table.

“Kuya, ito na po si Ate,” sabi ni Triton ng makarating ako sa sala kung saan abala si Triton na makipag-video call kay Kuya Tristan.

“Kuya!” masigla kong bati nang makita ko mula sa monitor ng laptop ni Triton ang mukha ng aming nakatatandang kapatid.

“Hello my little sister, how are you?” he said in a very soft and calm voice while waving his hand.

“Okay lang naman ako, ikaw Kuya?”

“I’m alright here and I’m doing good. How were your studies?” he said after he took a sip of his coffee.

He was eating his breakfast, he must be getting ready for work.

“I don’t think you should ask her that Kuya,” singit ni Triton na siya namang dahilan para bahagyang matawa si Kuya.

“You’re right, why would I even bother to ask if I already knew the answer. Anyway, sila Tita at Papa nasa trabaho pa rin ba?”

“Opo,” sabay naming sagot ni Triton.

Ilang minuto pang nagpatuloy pag-uusap namin ni Kuya. Pero ang ilang minuto na iyon ay sandali dahil kailangan na niyang umalis para magtrabaho.

Halos anim na taon na ang lumipas mula ng umalis si Kuya Tristan, para mag-aral sa isang sikat na university sa Manhattan, kung saan siya naging scholar. And, after graduation naman ay kaagad na nagtrabaho si Kuya sa isa sa mga Architecture Company na nag-offer sa kaniya ng trabaho. Kaya naman sobrang nami-miss na namin siya ni Triton. Dahil simula ng magtrabaho si Kuya ay hindi na siya nakakauwi ng bansa. Hindi katulad noong nag-aaral pa lang siya na tuwing summer vacation at Christmas break ay umuuwi talaga si Kuya para makasama kami.

“Ate,” Triton called out when I was about to enter my room.

“Bakit?”

“Can you help me?” he asked with that puppy eyes of his.

“Saan?” kunot-noo kong tanong kahit na alam ko na kung ano ang kailangan niya.

Dalawang bagay lang naman ang lagi niyang inihihingi ng tulong sa akin. It was either his report, or, school project. At alin man sa dalawang nabanggit ang posibleng sagot.

“Sa report ko po. Please,” he said as he put his palms together, begging for help.

“Okay, I’ll help you. Patingin ako ng mga nagawa mo na,” I said as I walk towards him.

“Thank you, Ate! The best ka talaga!” he joyfully said as I sat next to him and review his report.

...

“I like you, Cylenne. I love you, Cyllene.”

Kaagad akong naalimpungatan at napabalikwas mula sa pagkaka-idlip nang sumagi sa aking isipan ang mukha ni Eros. At ang mga katagang paulit-ulit na tumatakbo sa aking isipan nitong nakalipas na mga araw.

Why did I dream of it all of a sudden? And, why does my heart seems to starts beating irregularly? What is happening? Am I having a disease? I’m being weird lately.

“Having a lot of thoughts?” tanong ng isang boses na kilalang-kilala ko.

“Ikaw pala, Jupiter,” bulong ko habang inaayos ko ang aking T-shirt na nagusot, dahil sa pagsubsob ko upang umidlip sa bakanteng cement table at bench sa tapat ng science department building.

Bakit nandito ka ‘di ba may klase ka pa?” tanong ko.

“Ang ganda ng langit ‘di ba?” he said as he looked at the sky while he stood next to me.

“May problema ka ba?” I asked worriedly, because he avoided my question.

It was so not him to act like this. He also has this habit to look at the sky when he was thinking of something, or, if something is bothering him. And, there are only two possible reasons for him to act like this, either he has something in his mind, or, something was bothering him.

“You know what, Eris. Liking someone and falling in love was like a roller coaster ride,” he said after he heaved a deep sigh.

“Anong ibig mong sabihin?” naguguluhan kong tanong. Because, he’s not making any sense to me.

“Wala ka nga palang alam sa ganitong mga bagay. Puro kasi pag aaral at libro ang alam mo,” he said as he sat next to me.

“So?” kunot-noo kong sabi.

“You will soon understand when you fall in love,” he answered as he look up at the sky again.

“Jupiter? Are you in love?” I asked out of curiosity.

“Maybe, yes,” simple niyang sagot.

“Then, who is this girl?” 

Am I being nosy? To ask these stupid questions.

“I will tell her name to you soon, but, not now,” he answered as he smiled faintly at me. “Just a reminder for you, since it’s possible that you will never notice. Or, you would probably deny it to yourself. Eris, one of the signs in falling in love and liking someone is when you are starting to get so conscious around your surrounding…”

“When you miss him and think of him without any reason. And, lastly when your heart beats so fast whenever you are with that certain person. Walang mathematical equation, o, chemistry researches ang makakapag-paliwanag sa ‘yo ng dahilan kung bakit tayo nagkakagusto at nagmamahal sa isang tao.”

“Ano bang sinasabi mo? Hindi kita maintindihan,” kunot-noo at naguguluhan kong tanong.

Kung ako ay nawiwirduhan na sa sarili ko, mas higit pa roon ang imahe ni Jupiter para sa akin ngayon. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganito siya ngayon magsalita. He is being sentimental all of a sudden.

“You will find and understand what am I saying soon,” he answered as he tapped my shoulder. “I’m going ahead,” and then he left me here confused and puzzled.

Ilang segundo akong nanatiling tulala habang iniisip ang mga sinabi ni Jupiter. Pero, kahit na anong pag-aanalyze ang gawin ko ay hindi ko pa rin talaga makuha ang ibig sabihin ng lahat ng mga sinabi niya.

Falling in love? That’s nonsense. It was just because of the high levels of dopamine, the hormone and norepinephrine. All of it are just inside our brain. So, falling in love are full of nonsense.

But, how should I explain my emotions and my heart rate for the past month? Is it because I’ve been aloof and never been so close to others? That’s why I am acting like that whenever he was near?

…

“Hey, Cyllene. Kanina pa ako nagsasalita dito pero hindi mo naman ako pinapansin?” Eros said as he pokes my right arm but I choose to ignore him. Dahil mas namumutawi ang kakaibang kabog at bilis ng t***k ng aking puso.

“Hoy, Cyllene. Pansinin mo naman ako, kanina pa ako salita nang salita. And, I’m already doing anything I can just to get your attention. Hey, Cyllene?” pagpapatuloy ni Eros.

At dahil hindi ko na kayang tagalan ang pangungulit niya ay agad ko siyang nilingon upang sana ay pagsabihan. Ngunit tila naputol ang aking dila kasama ang aking hininga nang halos dalawang pulgada na lamang ang agwat ng aming mukha. Kaagad akong umiwas ng tingin, at muli kong ibinalik ang aking atensyon sa aking research paper. Pero kahit na anong pilit kong mag-focus sa aking research paper ay hindi ko magawa, dahil sa presensiya ng aking katabi, at kahit na hindi ko siya lingunin ay alam kong pinagmamasdan niya ako.

Ano ba ‘tong nangyayari sa akin? Why am I starting to be aware and conscious about his existence. And why my heart starts beating this fast? What’s going on with me? Why am I acting like this? I’m acting just like what Jupiter said yesterday. I’m acting as I like him. Am I? I’m acting like a person who has fallen for him. Or am I starting to like him? No! It can’t be?

“Ah!” I shouted as I slammed my palms at the desk to shoo away my thoughts.

Mabuti na lang at natapos na ang klase para sa hapong ito at iilan na lamang kaming estudyante ang narito.

“My God! Cyllene!” gulat na sambit ni Eros na bahagyang napaigtad mula sa kinauupuan. “Ginulat mo naman ako. Sorry na. Hindi na kita kukulitin, hihintayin na lang kita sa labas,” may lungkot sa tono ng tono niyang dagdag. Dahan-dahan niyang isinakbit sa braso ang kaniyang back pack at saka nag-umpisang maglakad palabas ng lecture room.

I just ignored what I have noticed as I tried to shoo away this strange feeling inside me.

Matapos ang isang oras mahigit na pananatili sa lecture room ay nagdesisyon na akong umuwi. But on my way home, naalala kong may libro pa nga pala akong bibilhin. Thus, I decided to walk on my way to the bookstore since it was just ten minutes away so it’s not a problem. Ngunit ilang hakbang pa lamang mula ng makalabas ako sa book store ay siya namang pa- buhos ng ulan kaya naman agad akong bumalik sa book store.

“It’s raining, Cyllene. Let’s go home together,” sambit ni Eros na bigla na lamang sumulpot na parang kabute.

Akala ko hindi niya na ako nahintay kanina kaya umuwi na siya. Wala kasi siya sa labas ng building at gate ng school kanina.

“Tara na, baka lalo pang lumakas ang ulan,” he offered

Hindi na ako umimik pa, sa halip ay tumango na lamang ako bilang sagot. Mas mabuti na ang pumayag akong sabay kaming umuwi. Dahil kahit ano namang pagtanggi ang gawin ko ay ipipilit pa rin niya na sabay kaming umuwi. It was better saying nothing than wasting my energy arguing with him, whether I would allow him, or not.

“Eros,” I called him as I immediately stop from my pace when I saw the tree that keeps of reminding me of him. Here at the exact place, in this road where we are walking at. The place where he suddenly confessed those three words to me. That three words that made me confused all over.

“Hmm?” he mumbled. Huminto rin siya sa paglalakad.

“You said that…” I paused for a second. “You’ve said that you…” pabulong kong ulit.

“Why I can’t say it?!” sigaw ko sa isipan habang humihigpit ang hawak ko sa aking libro.

“What is it?” kunot-noo niyang tanong.

“You said that you love me, right?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Do you mean it?”

“Oo naman, Cyllene. Mahal kita at seryoso ako na mahal kita, Eris Cyllene Natividad,” he said as he face me with a smile that goes from ear to ear making my heart beats so fast in just a blink of an eye.

Bakit mas bumilis ang t***k ng puso ko? And my face, bakit ang init ng pisngi ko? Am I really falling for him? Do I really like him? 

This was difficult, it was the hardest question in my life I have encountered.

Just who Eros is for me? And what are these strange feelings?