Her Trail

6.

"I'm sorry," all that my older brother said when we had breakfast the next morning. He can't look directly at my eyes and his eyebrows are furrowed, he looked ashamed to face me.

I gave him my million-dollar smile even though I am not sure if he can see it. Well, at least I can catch Papa's attention.

"Brother, Elora is already fine, I was just shocked and scared you might get hurt... are you mad at Elora?"

Ew! I'll make sure to puke later, I am cringing on my own self!

Good thing, that made older brother loosen up a bit. He already let our eyes met, I made sure I am still wearing a smile for him.

"Brother, are you mad? You are not talking to me," I replaced my smile with a pout.

This will make me an award-winning actress!

"I'm not, just guilty, continue eating your food, we will have some time for each other later on."

I nodded and smiled at that.

"I am planning to bring her somewhere too later, find some other time," Father suddenly announced.

Uh oh.

When I look at both of them, they were glaring at each other and no one seems to break the stare.

"I said it first," my brother said heavily.

"I am her father, I should get more time," Father replied like it was the final decision.

It made older brother raise one eyebrow, he really looked displeased at what he just heard.

"What kind of reasoning is that? I told her first and she agreed, you need to honor that, Duke."

I sip on my tea and eat the velvet cake on my side. It's delicious!

When I look at their food hoping to try to steal something I sighed and roll my eyes. There are eating veggies first thing in the morning...

That's so boring, I mean I love them too but for breakfast?

I'd just enjoy my sweets since I'm still a child. I'll have to look out for my weight when I became older.

"I am the Duke and I have the last say on the White Dragon's House."

"You have a visitor later, you won't have time to entertain her."

That made Father shut up, he breaks the staring contest and proceeded to finish his food. That made older brother the winner, and by the looks of him, he must be in glee. His aura is not dark and the other side of his lips is lifted.

Like promised, I and brother have our bonding time. We ate lunch together in his mother's garden, and we ride the horse together and we look around the house.

We also visited the training ground of the White Dragon Knights, and when we arrived there, they were seriously focusing on their training. But when Sir Betram spotted us, he immediately came near.

Brother goes down the horse and he carries me along with him to talk to Betram.

"I'll have to go in a few days, make sure you look after her," I heard brother remind Sir Betram.

"It will be my pleasure."

Later on, when the knights saw me they stopped what they are doing and they surrounded me.

"Good day, Lady Elora! What brought you here?" asked one of the knights.

I smiled cutely in front of everyone.

"Hello! I am having quality time with my brother, how are you?" I asked with a bubbly voice, I am even doing hand gestures.

They are all smiling widely as they look at me. I can see how adorable I look in their eyes so I made myself look cuter.

"I want to be friends with all of you!" I said with excitement, but that is really true.

I knew for a fact that my brother has to go to school, and my father needs to go to the palace, I will be alone in a meantime so I need a friend, and I think they are happy to be with me, they look like good guys.

"I'm Jhon!" said the tall knight with brown hair.

"Call me, Matt!"

"Chris here, Lady Elora!"

and so on...

I don't think I can memorize them in one go but I did take note of their names on my head based on their appearance and personalities.

The shy one was Marco, the tall one was Jhon, and I was able to memorize a bit, I'll just visit them again to fully know more about them.

"How are you? You were scared yesterday, you made us really worried."

I shake my head, "Don't worry about me, my friends! Daddy and brother made sure I am happy!"

That made the atmosphere lighter and happier. They talked to me about a lot of things and it made me really happy. I can't say it, but I felt really lonely deep inside. I am still homesick and there are nights where I am crying myself to sleep, still can't swallow the reality that I am in a whole new world, with strange people, strange customs, strange clothing, strange everything.

Everything is still fresh, but I don't have time for my loneliness, all I need to do is to live and survive... and be thankful that I was reborn.

But looking at their smiles and warmth, filled my heart and it replaced all the doubts. Somehow, when I am with Father and Brother, I felt like the terrifying feeling inside me vanishes, I feel secured... deep inside.

Father had the same face as my father back then but now that I am slowly knowing him even a bit, I know they are different, and they don't feel the same.

I don't feel cold in my stomach whenever my Father in this life looks at me with his cold gazes. He is still cold and distant, but something is new, something I have never felt towards a family before, maybe, it was affection...

"Elora."

So I am so happy, and blessed to have the second chance to live. And I will promise, to the Universe that gave me the chance, not to waste it by being a loser again.

"Elora!"

Eh?

I blink thrice. My brother is in front of me, his eyes showed his worry.

"Brother?" I asked curiously.

When did he come in front of me? I didn't notice that.

"Why are crying? Are you hurt somewhere?"

He tried to look for a wound around my body.

Crying?

I touch my cheeks and I felt the cold liquid flowing there.

Oh.

I am crying.

"Brother..." I called him because he won't stop looking where I am hurt.

"Brother," I held his face this time, and that caught his attention.

His red eyes like father's met my green orbs.

"I am just happy to be with everyone," I smiled genuinely, "Look! Elora is happy!"

He sighed in relief and hugged me.

"You scared me."

"I'm sorry, older brother..."

They bid goodbye to the knights after that. Sir Betram held me up the horse to sit in front of my brother.

We look around the place, and I noticed that there is a part of the House where my brother refused to go.

"Brother, can we go there?" I pointed to the place not so far away.

It is like a mansion, but it was quite far from the main house.

"No, that's our father's harem."

Harem...

It's familiar...

Where did I hear that again?

"His women stay there."

OH! That harem...

That's why he won't let me go there, I understand. Father Duke is young so he must be active sexually too.

When we reached the garden in front of the house, we both go down the horse to walk around.

I saw a colorful butterfly and it is really beautiful!

It is not that huge, it's still a baby, when she becomes an adult, she will bloom more! She's even prettier than the flowers around.

"Careful," my brother remind me when he saw I almost tripped while running towards the butterfly.

I did not mind his reminder and I continuously chase the pretty insect. Oh gosh, Elora, you really did become a child!

But whatever, what's important now is the butterfly!

"Ouch!"

I should have listened to brother, now I am hurt because I stripped!

I sit on the grass to look at my knees, I have some scratches but it's not that severe, I wish there are supplies for sanitation and a first aid kit here, but I doubt. I really doubt it.

"Need help?" a baritone voice offered, it is from a guy who is in front of me

I can see his shoes from my point of view, but because I am curious since his voice is new and somewhat familiar, I looked up.

And there a familiar face made my mouth gape. He is crouching in front of me, offering his handkerchief, while his face did not show any signs of a smile.

I immediately stand up and step away from him. He is young but his features are really familiar!

Donovan Gaige Elias is now standing not even a meter away from me. I clench my fist and close my eyes as memories from the past flowed inside my mind.

I almost collapsed in sudden shock but he manages to catch me and it made me angrier and disgusted. I pushed him away from me.

"Don't touch me!"

He looked shocked at my outburst but I couldn't care less.

"You lose your baby, Ma'am. I'm really sorry."

"Hi, Elora! I and Donovan are already together!"

"I love you, Elora."

"I promise, I will marry you someday."

I screamed trying to get those memories out of my mind. He tried to touch me in panic but I refused to be touch by him.

My baby...

My poor baby...

How could he appear in my life again?!

After that...

My knees gave up on me, I cried helplessly on the grass, while the man in front of me is panicking, afraid to touch me, too shocked to witness another outburst.

Just a while ago, I thought I am slowly healing, and now...

And now... I don't think I will ever heal because nothing, nothing could ever heal the wound of losing a child that is left in my heart.

And seeing his face, even though he might not be the same person as my past life, I don't think I can bring myself to see even a glimpse of his face.

Because of the trauma he inflicted, the insecurities he left, it will never fade.

I was betrayed by the person I thought I would live my whole with, I was betrayed by the person whom I thought I can trust, I was betrayed by the only person I allowed to break down the walls I built to be stronger for years...

He left me hanging, and in pain...

And now that I am reminded by all the betrayals and wounded I received, can I ever trust again?

I felt like the ties that I connected with my heart and the heart of those who are around me now are slowly cutting one by one, and I am not strong enough to prevent those memories from cutting them out of my heart.

I don't think I can live to trust, and love again...

I'll just choose to survive.

Love and trust won't make me happy, it's scary...

It's scary...

I can't let anyone break my walls again...

How foolish, just days here made me forget of all the nightmares, of the reason why I chose my own end.

But wow, the Universe reminded me how I live my life before, it was full of betrayals because I was weak and a fool.

I won't let that happen again.

I won't be tied with anything, I won't build connection, I will just focus on surviving, I will focus on what I need to do in order to choose my own trail without betrayals, tears, and wounds this time.