Her Trail

7.

I wake up in the middle of the night. Did I faint? Perhaps. I look around for a clock and the hand is pointing at the middle.

No one is inside the room, Bella and Shane must be sleeping right now. I went down from the bed to walk towards the window, when I look outside, it was snowing. It must be the reason why the furnace is lit up.

I sighed.

I went outside the room, walking in the dark hallways, nothing running in my mind. Why am I like this...

Why does it felt like I am as miserable as I was? Or did I ever change? Because it was like the trauma is just delayed, I didn't escape all my demons and nightmares, I was just reborn in another world, and they are still here, living inside my head.

I forgot them for a while, filling myself with hope, it was all butterflies and rainbows until the biggest nightmare of my life back then showed up. He wasn't there my whole life, but he created the biggest impact, he created the scariest demon, and even now, I am shivering, and I feel lifeless.

When finally, I was outside the house, barefooted, I walk above the pile of snow, it felt so cold yet I can feel the burning sensation in my feet.

I look up the sky to look for stars or the moon but it was dark, like my soul.

Suddenly, as I walk mindlessly, as the wind kept on ruining my hair and the snow kept on brushing against my pale skin, all memories rushed like they wanted to be remembered and never forgotten.

"My baby died?"

"Yes, Miss Fleyr, I am so sorry for your loss."

"Hi Doctor Fleyr, what floor are you going to?"

"Rooftop."

"Did you know? The new CS was in a relationship with Doctor Donovan, he and Doctor Elora just broke up, right?"

"Shh, she will hear you."

"Elora? Are you going upstairs?"

"Yes."

"It's snowing, it will be cold at the rooftop."

Until now, I don't care about the cold. Maybe.... maybe even though it always had my darkest secrets, this season still became her comfort, because it made me feel, it let me feel something, at least, even just the burning sensation of the ice crashing against my skin.

I look around but everything was covered in white because it is heavily snowing.

My nightgown is too thin to protect me from everything but I don't seem to find my care for myself right now. I just felt like walking... and walking until I reach the infinite abyss.

I look up once again, some snow landed on my cheeks and it melts there and went down my neck together with the liquid that is falling down from my eyes— tears.

Why did the Universe give me new life again? I have forgotten the magical things, the dreams and hopes of the very first day.

Why, Donovan? Why until this lifetime? Why do you have to chase me until this one? I was about to forget that there are monsters and demons! I was about to forget the dark past, I was about to embrace this life with light and love, and peace... and freedom.

"Elora..."

I step forward to nowhere once again, feeling the snow under my feet.

"Elora..."

Oh, I can hear the faint voice calling my name desperately.

I step forward once again.

"Elora!"

I jumped a bit as someone grasps both of my arms, and suddenly he hugged me. I stand there unmoving. But this familiar warmth...

"Papa?" it escaped my pale lips.

"Why... You..."

He can't speak clearly, and it seems like he can't find words to speak right now.

"You made me worried, my daughter, I was so worried..."

The cold and distant Duke, worried? He suddenly releases the hug to face me, looking at me from head to toe. His eyes were filled with worry and fear mixed.

He hugs me once again, lifting me up to carry me and the honorable Duke runs towards the house to seek some heat for me.

"Your Grace, the young lady..."

I don't know why things are getting blurry, and even my hearing is getting weaker, I can still feel the burning sensation from the cold all over my body, but I felt really weak.

"Father, how is she?!"

"Oh my goodness gracious! Lady Elora!"

It was Shane and my brother for sure.

"Bring a healer immediately! My daughter is burning hot!"

Oh...

that was literal...

The next thing I knew, Hypnos dragged me to sleep in my father's arms.

When my consciousness returned, I can't fully open my eyes and I can't talk but I can hear some people talking near me. It's all blurry, but I can recognize fathers built.

"How is she? She's still ill!"

"Your grace, it's weird but a common fever will take us just a minute to heal, but this child, her soul felt so different, I am sorry but we just have to give her medicines and wait for it to cure her."

"Don't give me those excuses, leave."

That is the last thing I heard from my father, his voice was serious and final.

I drifted from my sleep again, only my mind is conscious this time. I felt someone holding my hand, grasping it tightly.

"Bunny, when are you waking up? It's already lunchtime..."

Brother?

I tried to open my eyes but I can only open a bit and it is still blurry, my throat is hurting and my head is heavy. It really feels like the fever is not going down for another several hours.

"I'm sorry, was it because you were tired while roaming around with me yesterday? Sorry for pushing it too much."

He grips my hand tightly once again, I felt his hair near my hand, he must be leaning near it.

"We were so worried when Bella said you are not in your room yesterday, we look around and we didn't find you, luckily... luckily, our Father Duke found you but you were staring at nowhere, and mindlessly walking in the middle of the heavy snow, you made him really worried too, to the point that he canceled his trip going to the palace."

What...

Why would he do that for me?

I am just...

"You know what's funny? He told Sir Adalius that he has to take care of his daughter first. That's new for that cold person, he never put his family first before, especially when there is a really important thing to do."

Oh...

Because I'm his daughter.

Somehow. I felt like, I can take a good sleep because I can feel my consciousness drifting away again.

And when I open my eyes for another time, my head felt like, it was still cold due to the season, but my body doesn't feel hot anymore.

I slowly sit up in my bed when I felt someone's grasp in my other hand, its older brother, I guess he didn't leave me.

I don't know why the small act made me feel something, and it was the kind of feeling I never felt from a family before. It made my heart swell and my eyes moist.

"Brother..."

I tried to touch his arm to wake him up.

He slowly moves his head and looks at my side. When he fully straighten his body and looked at me, his eyes widened and he stands up to come towards me right away.

"Are you fine?" he immediately asked.

I nodded, not finding words to reply.

He was about to speak when Bella and Shane entered the room, they had the same reaction as my brother, but unlike him, the first thing that came to their mind is to inform the Duke.

"She's awake!"

"My lady, I was so worried— Bella, let's tell the news to his grace!"

They both run away fastly after that. I smiled a bit because of that. My attention went to my brother once again. I can clearly remember all the things I heard while my body was still weak.

"You were never that sick your whole life, Elora Ember Fleyr!"

I cover up my ears fastly.

"Ouch, big brother, why are you shouting?" I can't help but pout, my brows are furrowed.

"Do you know how worried we are? And why did you went out in the middle of the night, barefooted? It was heavily snowing also, what if something happened to you? Do you know..." he sighed, "I shouldn't lecture you this early, do you want to eat something? Water?"

I pout my lips to hide the smile that is about to show.

"I want a hug, brother..." I whispered, shy.

His forehead crease but he smirked and he went near me to give me a hug. I felt his warmth and it was the comforting kind, just like Papa.

Speaking off, someone went inside and heard his heavy footsteps I knew it was him.

I felt other arms embracing me and my old brother, and it triggered something in me that my tears suddenly fall like rivers.

I sob on my brother's chest, as I feel both their warmth.

"If you have problems, you can tell us, do you hear me, Elora?" it was Father.

I didn't speak but I nodded my head.

"I knew something was wrong when I saw you faced him yesterday, but please don't put yourself in danger, understand, bunny?"

I punch my brother's arm jokingly when he called me bunny. I look up at both of them, and my eyes immediately met theirs, as if they are waiting for it to happen. I gave them my genuine smile, which made them sigh in relief, and suddenly, father and brother lay on my bed, tired.

I lay in between them and they hugged me both.

At least, I have them now...

Days after, I wake up early to bid goodbye to my brother who is now going to the academy for his studies. I run fastly, and for the first time, I saw the outside of the White Dragons House, but to my dismay, trees were all I saw.

But that's not the point now, inside the chariot is my brother, he is leaving...

"Brother!" I called for him.

The window of the chariot opened and it showed his cold face, when he looked at me, his eyes showed a different emotion.

I saw his lips move, must be saying something to the knight he is with inside the large chariot.

He went out of it too and he walks towards me.

"What is it, toad?"

My face crumbles because of that.

"I look like you and Papa! And why is Papa not sending you out? You guys are cold towards each other!"

He smirked and ruffled my hair. Gosh, Bella spent a lot of time fixing that early in the morning!

"We don't want to see each other's face anyway, I'm tired of seeing him every day. But it's good to have you here."

I notice that both he and Papa are good at expressing their feelings towards me after that night happened. But they are too protective to me, Papa even sleeps with me and when not, brother sleeps on my side, sometimes, both of them are sleeping in my room.

Gosh, it was so awkward at first because they sleep like dead while I am like a worm in my sleep. I remember waking up and my feet are on my brother's face while I made Papa's chest my pillow. Good thing I wake up early that certain morning.

"Won't you hug me?" my brother asked, teasing me.

Of course, I would! I will miss him, and that's not a lie.

I hugged him and I felt my eyes moist, he will only come back on holiday, I will be really sad. I wish I can visit him somehow, but at least Papa won't leave me for a while so I won't be alone.

After the hug, my big brother kisses my forehead and he left. I cried after the chariot was far already and I went to Papa's office so he will console me.