Tamed

Prologue

Prologue

“What do you mean, Ma’am,” gulat kong pahayag.

I was in the middle of sketching new designs for our presentation when my boss suddenly approached me. Sa sobrang pagkabigla ko sa sinabi niya, bahagya kong nagurihan ang ginagawa. Just great! Now I have to start again.

“A-ano po iyon Ma’am?” I asked nervously, nalilito pa din sa sinasabi ng boss ko.

“What I’m trying to say is I want you to persuade Architect Jayce Guerrero to accept this project. Hindi siya pumayag ng ako ang lumapit. Maybe if you try then we can make him change his mind. What do you think? Hindi ba’t magkakilala kayo?”

My boss looked at me, and there was a glint of hope in her eyes.

Hindi ko alam kung paano magrereact. Nagsisink-in pa kasi sakin na kalat na sa kumpanya na kilala ko ang isang sikat na Architect, at most-sought bachelor na si Jayce Guerrero. At kasalanan ito ng over supportive kong kaibigan na walang preno ang bibig.

Parang na-sense niya ata na iniisip ko siya dahil ng tumingin siya sa akin at guilty siyang ngumiti at nag peace sign pa.

Guerrero Architecture firm is one of the newest rising successful firms in the industry.

Ang sabi may limit ang projects na tinatanggap nila siguro ay dahil nag-uumpisa pa lang sila at kakaunti pa ang mga staffs. Ang sabi ay they mostly prioritize their big clients. No wonder they did not accept this project. Malaki rin naman ang Castelle but then maybe they were just booked or whatever their reason is.

“Ma’am hindi ko po kasi kaya iyong hinihingi niyo. Matagal na po kasi simula ng magkausap kami at baka hindi na niya ako tanda.”

Ang pakla sa dila nung huli kong sinabi. Paano ko ba sasabihin ng hindi nasisisante na iyon ang taong pinaka-ayaw kong makita? Hangga’t maaari ayokong nasasalihan ng personal ang trabaho because I’m professional but this would probably be an exemption.

Hindi ko yata kaya na makita ang lalaking iyon!

“I did not know na mayroon ka din palang kahinaan Ms. Lopez. I’m always amazed at your capability despite being a newbie in my company. You always surprises me pero bakit yata parang nawawala na dedication at passion sa trabaho na palagi mong ipinakikita?”

Wala akong masabi dahil tama si Ma’am. Competitive ako at kahit imposible ay ginagawan ko ng paraan because I want to prove myself. Na deserve ko ang posisyon ko at hindi ko lamang ito nakuha basta basta.

Ang laking sampal sa ego ko ng sinabi ni Miss and I can’t help but to criticize myself dahil bakit nga nawawala na ang mantra ko na maging propesyonal? Why am I being emotional all of a sudden?

Daig ko pa ang nasa hotseat at kahit pwede naman akong tumanggi ulit hindi ko naman masikmura ang mga what ifs at consequences sa desisyon na gagawin ko.

My position in this company is still unstable and with that I still need to prove myself kaya masyado ko talagang pinupush ang sarili ko. Call me a career obsessed but this is all I have. Hindi ako mayaman at matalino, ito lang ang kaya kong ipagmalaki.

At gagawin ko ang lahat…

Pakiramdam ko bumagal ang oras lalo na noong walang pag-aalinlangan akong umoo sa boss ko. What have I done? Ang tanga lang Aurie! Ikaw na mismo ang nagtulak sa sarili mo sa hukay.

“OMG mamsh pumayag ka?” gulat na sabi ni Sheena, ang madaldal kong best friend. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin lalo pa’t isa siya sa dahilan kung bakit nasa ganito akong posisyon. Kung hindi lang sana siya nadulas, edi sana hindi ako mapipilitang umoo.

“Wow gulat na gulat? Syempre oo, wala akong choice eh. At isa pa trabaho ito, kaya kailangan kong gawin,” sabi ko na lang, pero I was also trying to convince myself.

“Oo na sorry na. Nabigla kasi ako noon at naexcite kasi naman ang pogi nung ex mo,” nanlaki ang mata ko at tinakpan ko ang bibig niya dahil baka marinig pa nung iba. Malala na nga na alam nila na kilala ko ang lalaking iyon, ano pa kaya kapag nalaman nila na may connection kami.

Tinanggal niya ang takip sa bibig niya na-guilty naman ako kasi nagulo ko ng konti ang make-up niya.

“Sorry na kasi, pero maiba ako anong plano mo? Ready ka na ba harapin and TOTGA (the one that got away) mo?”

Huminga ako ng malalim, kahit ako din hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. I’ve been imagining this scenario at mayroon na din akong script sa kung ano ang sasabihin at reaction ko. Pero iba parin na pala kapag nandyan ka na sa posisyong iyon.

“Bakit ba ang affected mo? Trabaho ang ipupunta ko doon. Kung ano man ang nangyari noon, wala na iyon. Hindi ko isasali sa trabaho ang issue namin atsaka bakit ako matatakot. Siya nga ang may atraso saakin!”

Tama, bakit ako magpapaapekto?

Noong araw din na iyon ako inutusan ng boss ko na makipagmeeting ulit sa firm. Pahapon na pero heto ako at binabaybay ang building nila. They were only renting a certain floor in a commercial building kaya nahirapan pa akong na hanapin sila.

I wasn’t expecting a sudden change of events. At first, I was confident that my name would be enough to piss him off and immediately dismiss us like before. Syempre mas ayos sakin iyon dahil hindi ko na siya kikitain pa.

Bukod doon wala rin naman magagawa ang boss ko kung sakali na tumanggi siya sa panagalawang pagkakataon. Malilinis pa ang pangalan ko at mawawala na sa isip nila ang koneksyon ko kay Jayce which is a win win situation for me.

I imagine that he will get a bad impression on us dahil nagpadala pa ng bagong representative at ako pa talaga. He would probably feel insulted, making this project impossible to happen.

“What do you mean Architect Guerrero wants to see me in his office? Did I hear it correctly? Akala ko ba tumanggi na siya sa amin?” gulat na gulat kong sabi. Naguluhan naman ang secretary sa sinabi ko dahil hindi iyon ang hinihintay niya na reaksyon. Ako lang yata ang bukod tangi na naghysterical dahil pinaunlakan.

Para yata akong aatakihin sa puso sa bilis ng t***k ng puso ko, I just had my coffee.

“Pasok na lang po kayo sa pinto na nasa likod niyo. Iyan po ang office ni Architect,” ngiting-ngiti ang secretary habang sinasabi iyon. She did not even bother to answer my question.

Wala na akong nagawa pa. Gustuhin ko mang tumakbo na lang palayo pero hindi ko magawa.

When I opened the door I was mesmerized by the simplicity of his office. Bagama’t maliit iyon, malinis at maaliwalas naman tignan.

Nga lang hindi ko inaasahan ang pares ng mga mata na nakatitig na saakin. Pakiramdam ko sumikit ang dibdib ko. He took the breath out of me. After six years, we met again.

Never akong naging updated sa buhay niya because I choose to. Pinili kong kalimutan ang lahat kahit pa alam kong imposible iyon. I thought I couldn't survive the heartache. I was in my lowest that time at kahit yata picture niya mabaliw baliw na ako sa pag-iyak kapag nakikita ko.

Una ko kaagad napansin ang mapupungay niyang mga mata. The same pair of eyes that I love to stare at. He is looking at me intently, scrutinizing me. Nakakapanghina.

He was sitting in his swivel chair with his glasses on, nakaharap sa laptop.

Napakalaki nang ipinagbago niya. He was already attractive before but now he has become more manly. Gone was the softness in his features, it became rough.

I look like a deer caught by a traffic light. There’s an aircon but I’m sweating bullets. My brain is not working properly. Bahala na, I would rather face the consequence of my carelessness rather than face the man of my past.

Hindi ko pa pala kaya. I was just being arrogant.

Everything about him is just so intense. He’s like a kryptonite, a weakness absorbing my energy making me powerless. I want to avoid his gaze but I was mesmerized by those brown orbs. A surge of memories came rushing in my head. Memories that I bury deep but are now shamelessly swirling in my head like a whirlwind.

Sa isang iglap para akong bumalik sa oras na mukha akong tanga, nagmamakaawa huwag lang iwanan.

“You may take your seat Miss Lopez,” he said, interrupting my thoughts.

His baritone voice made me shiver, damn what the hell is wrong with me? I was surprised that my body automatically obeyed his order.

Ramdam ko ang pag sunod ng tingin niya sa bawat paggalaw ko at hindi ako natutuwa roon. I approach the chair in front of his table with my poker face.

I saw how he raised his eyebrows but I did not let that bother me. Alam ko kapag ganoon ang reaksyon niya, it’s either he’s amused or interested.

I compose myself. I just need to get over this. Alam ko na naman ang magiging sagot niya kaya kahit papaano ay hindi na dapat akong mangamba. Baka kaya gusto makipagkita ay para sabihin saakin ng harapan?

“Good morning Architect Guerrero. Ang sabi ng sekretarya mo gusto mo raw akong makausap? I’m confused because last time I checked you’ve already rejected us,” I said formally, I really hope that he did not notice my nervousness.

Matagal bago siya nakasagot.

He is eyeing me like a lion eyeing its prey. Mabuti na lang hindi ako nakatayo dahil paniguradong bibigay ang mga tuhod ko. I admit he still affects me but that’s all! Move on na ako.

“Regarding that, I want to reconsider it. I’m taking the project. My team will work on that.”

Laglag ang panga na napapatitig ako sa kanya.

What the f**k?

“W-what are you talking about?” I stammered, nawala na ang pagiging kalmado ko kuno because now I did nothing to hide the nervousness and uneasiness I felt. Just like that and he managed to destroy my facade.

“Hindi ba’t iyon naman ang ipinunta mo rito? You want me to reconsider this project and I’m accepting it,” saad niya at para bang ipinaiintindi niya sa akin ang bagay na iyon.

Hindi nakatakas sa mga mata ko ang bahagyang pagbasa niya ng labi. Even the movement of his Adam’s apple made my throat dry. Get a hold of yourself Aurie this bastard is bewitching you!

“Then what makes you change your mind?” Ako ng makabawi.

Hindi na dapat ako nagtatanong. Dapat nga matuwa ako dahil nagawa ko ang trabaho but a part of me is dying to know what is his reason.

I want to think that he was only doing this to make a point. Kasi kailangan namin siya kaya kahit pa magmukha kaming katawa-tawa ay ayos lang. He’s that heartless and I’m not even surprised.

“There’s a client that backs out. You are lucky to be the first in line in our choices. We are only doing what must be done. Besides, a client is a client.”

I tried my best to suppress the anger that started to build up inside of me. Any minute now I know that I will explode like a volcano, meanwhile this man was only looking at me intently.

It’s as if he’s memorizing every inch of me which might just be my imagination. A shiver ran over my body but I tried to hide that he was affecting me by glaring at him.

No, I can't be attracted to him.

I will never let myself be miserable again.

“Then it’s settled. Thank you for reconsidering our project,” I said while gritting my teeth.