Miss Perfectly Imperfect

VALUABLE

Shane's POV



Will you care to join us? ” Gavin asked softly.

I froze. My fingers tightened on the edge of my tablet before I even realized it.

He didn’t rush me. Didn’t try to explain. Didn’t try to convince. This lack of explanation somehow made it harder for me to breathe.

Because this isn’t just about the site visit. Not for me.

I kept my eyes on the window, watching the city sprawl beneath us, pretending to be lost in thought—because looking at him felt dangerous. Too many unspoken things lived in the space between us, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to face any of them.

I told myself it was the project I was hesitating about. The exposure. The pressure. The possibility of messing up in front of them. Yet, deep down, I knew it was more than that.

The way his voice softened, stripped of authority. The way he was giving me a choice now—something he hadn’t done before. The way it almost sounded like he was asking for more than just my attendance.

My thumb started tapping against the edge of the tablet, steady and rhythmic, as if the motion could quiet my thoughts.

I could feel his eyes on me. Patient. Searching. And I hated—God, I hated—how easily he could still unsettle me.

So I looked away, pretending to adjust my tablet, pretending to breathe normally, pretending to be unaffected.

But my fingers betrayed me, tightening their grip on the edge of the device until my knuckles turned white.

I wanted it to act. Professional. Neutral. Safe. But inside, I was far from it.

Because saying yes means walking straight into the place I’d sworn I’d never return to. The place where my younger self's dreams ended.

Where I lost parts of myself I can never get back.

And if I said no? It would raise questions I wasn’t ready to answer. Questions that have been buried along with the memories.

So I did what I’ve been doing for months.

I hid. Behind silence. Behind composure. Behind a version of myself I barely recognized anymore.

I drew in a slow, measured breath as I grip the edge of my tablet tighter, grounding myself in the present, forcing my breath to stay even.

“I’ll… think about it,” I murmured, barely louder than a whisper as I start to loosen my grip.

It was the safest thing I could give him.

But even as the words left my mouth, I knew they carried more weight than they should have.

Because again, I wasn’t just thinking about the site visit.

Kasi minsan na akong nangako na hinding-hindi na muling aapak sa lugar na ‘yon. Akala ko noon, kaya ko nang talikuran ang lahat ng alaala roon—ang lahat ng sakit na iniwan ko.

It wasn’t the project, nor the site. But the people behind it. The place and that thing happened a few years ago.

Lahat ng mga ginawa ni Abby. Kasama na rin… ‘yung isang gabi ng alaala.

I’ve spent months perfecting this: calm composure, steady hands, and a neutral tone. Detached enough para kayanin kong makatrabaho siya sa iisang space. And most days, it works. Pero hindi ngayon.

Not when he’s sitting this close. Not when his voice sounds softer than I remember. Not when he’s giving me choices na dati, hindi niya binibigay. It shouldn’t matter. He’s my boss. That’s all there is. That’s all there should be.

Pero ‘yun ang problema.

He’s not just my boss. He’s Gavin.

The man who once took more than just my innocence—he took a part of my heart, too. Pero hindi niya alam. Hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin siyang alam. And maybe that’s safer.

Because I don’t have the courage to tell him. Because I shouldn’t. Because I’m just his employee.

We’re not those two foolish people anymore. Na minsang nagpadala sa bugso ng damdamin or tawag ng... Call it whatever it is.

And yet… his presence brings back fragments from the past. Memories stitched into my skin, refusing to fade.

He kissed my forehead, then my cheek, tracing invisible lines with his mouth as if memorizing my skin. Each touch felt like a secret.

Each sigh between us, a surrender.

Hinayaan ko siya. Hinayaan ko siyang hawakan ako na parang marupok akong bagay. Na parang kahit ilang segundo lang—ako ang pinili niyang ingatan.

And I held him, too. For warmth. For safety. For the illusion that, just for one night, I wasn’t alone.

I remember the soft moan that escaped me when he pushed inside, the sharp pain blooming deep within… and then that strange kind of peace.

A quiet contentment. Not because it was perfect. But because it was mine. A choice I made. A night I chose for myself.

I can still feel it—the weight of his breath against my neck, the safety I borrowed from his arms, the bittersweet knowing that it wouldn’t last.

Dahan-dahan akong bumangon mula sa kama, iniwasang gumawa ng kahit anong ingay. Kinuha ko ang aking mga damit, binalot ang sarili sa jacket, parang panangga laban sa lahat ng hindi ko kayang harapin.

“Thank you,” mahina kong bulong, kahit alam kong hindi niya maririnig.

Then I walked away, dala ang katahimikan ng isang gabing hindi kailanman mauulit.



And now, here he is, asking me to join them. Not knowing. Not remembering. Not realizing how much of me I had left behind that night.

I’ll think about it... I manage to say it in a calm voice just a while ago. Steady—almost convincing.

Almost.

Because inside, the past and present blur. Every word, every glance, every breath feels heavier than it should be.

He smiled after. Small. Fleeting. Fragile.

And just like that, my chest tightened.

And I hate it— I hate how easily he can still undo me…without even trying.

I looked down, pretending to check a notification that didn’t even exist—anything, kahit ano, just to avoid meeting his eyes.

Because if I did… I wasn’t sure what would give me away first—my silence or the look in my own eyes.

I hated that it still had that same effect on me—the way his smile could reach places that had long been forgotten. Places I’d locked away for my own sanity.

Hindi ko na tuloy alam kung saan ako mas natatakot… Sa posibilidad na muli kong makita ang mga taong naging dahilan kung bakit ako umalis sa lugar namin? O sa nararamdaman ko kay Gavin… na tila, unti-unti na ring bumabalik?

And from the way he glanced at me—quiet, searching, almost knowing—I had the sinking feeling… he sensed that, too.

Gavin nodded, keeping his tone light. “That’s all I ask.”

The moment I stepped out of the lounge, I didn’t stop walking.

Left. Right. Down the corridor. I just needed distance. From him. From everything.

By the time I reached the far end of the floor, I ducked into the small break room—empty, quiet, safe.

At least here, I could breathe. I set the tablet down on the counter, leaning against it as I tried to steady myself.

Deep breaths. Count to three. Pretend you’re okay. But the truth is, I’m not.

The idea of setting my foot in Abby’s shoes again scares me more than I can admit.

I actually flinched at the sound of that name in my head. Abby.

No one calls me that anymore. Not here.

Not since I ran away from that place. From that girl. From everything that happened.

Abby belonged to that town. To that life.

Shane… Shane is who I became.

The girl who was once shattered, yet learned to piece herself back together.

The one who carries her scars beneath polished skin.

Who learned to wear composure like armor, to move with grace even when it still hurts.

Shane knows better now.

Better than to let her heart — or her past — get in the way.

But going back…

Going back means peeling away everything I’ve built.

It means reopening wounds I’ve spent years trying to stitch closed.

I’ll have to walk the same streets that witnessed my pain. I’ll have to see faces I swore I’d never face again. And worst of all… I might have to confront the girl I used to be — the Abby I buried so deep just to survive.

It also means standing next to Gavin… knowing he doesn’t remember. Because he doesn’t.

I can see it in his eyes, every time. He looks at me, but he doesn’t see me. Not the girl from that night.

Not Abby. And maybe that should make things easier. But it doesn’t.

It only makes it lonelier. I glanced at my reflection in the microwave door—composed, polished, professional.

Exactly the version of me I’ve trained myself to be. But behind the calm, I could feel the cracks. Thin. Fragile. Spreading.

I pressed a hand against my chest, forcing myself to breathe.

Hindi pwede.

I can’t let this get to me. Not again. So I picked up my tablet, squared my shoulders, and forced my feet to move.

One breath. One step. One wall at a time.

Because if I fall apart now, everything I’ve built—the distance, the control, the illusion—it’ll all come crashing down.

And I can’t let that happen. Not when Gavin is this close.

Later that afternoon

Bago ako umuwi ng office, huminga muna ako nang malalim bago kumatok sa pinto ni Miss Agnes. My hand lingered on the doorframe for a second, trying to steady the pounding in my chest.

I took a deep breath before knocking softly.

She looked up from her desk, pushing her glasses up her nose. “Shane, come in. May kailangan ka ba?”

I stepped inside, hugging my tablet closer to my chest — parang panangga. “Miss Agnes, puwede ko po ba kayong makausap?”

“Sure,” she replied, her voice calm and measured, while she gestured to the chair across her table. “Umupo ka.”

I sat down slowly, forming the words carefully in my head before letting them out. “About the site visit… do you really want me to join the team?”

Miss Agnes nodded, leaning back slightly. “Yes, of course! Aside from the fact that you contributed a lot to boost this project. You’re also my assistant, Shane. You should be there too.”

I swallowed hard, my fingers tightening around the tablet. “So… napipilitan lang po si Boss na isama ako?”

“Why?” she asked, brows slightly raised. “Did he already ask you to join us?”

Tumango ako.

“Finally,” she said, a small smile forming on her lips. “he got the balls.”

“Umm…” Napayuko ako, tracing invisible lines along the tablet’s edge, trying to hide the sudden heaviness in my chest.

Her expression softened as she leaned forward slightly. “You seem hesitant. Ayaw mo bang sumama?”

I hesitated, forcing myself to meet her gaze despite the tightness in my throat. “Hindi naman po sa ganon… Pero… kung okay lang, I’d rather not go.”

Her brows furrowed slightly, but her tone stayed professional. “For what reason?”

I searched for the right words — ones that wouldn’t betray everything I’ve been running from. “…I don’t think I’m ready, Ma’am. I can coordinate remotely if needed. Anything the team requires, I’ll make sure it’s handled from here.”

Miss Agnes studied me for a long moment, her gaze sharp, assessing. Hindi niya ako tinanong pa ulit, pero ramdam ko — she wasn’t fully convinced.

“Shane,” she said finally, her voice steady but a touch softer now, “if this is all about Gavin’s reaction — well, yes, at first he wasn’t convinced. He felt the core team was enough. But after seeing your potential and hearing feedback from the others, he changed his mind. He wants you there now. At wala na akong kinalaman don.”

I blinked, trying to process that. “…Nang ganon kabilis? Pagkatapos niya pong makipagtalo sa inyo?”

“Shane,” she corrected gently but firmly, “hindi kami nagtalo. It was just a discussion. An exchange of ideas between two people who only want the best for this company. Yes, we had a slight misunderstanding, but I can assure you, hindi ito tungkol don. Besides, he already apologized. Sa akin and I believe sa'yo din. So I guess that's settled.”

I nodded slowly, though my chest still felt tight. “I understand po.”

Miss Agnes sighed quietly, folding her hands on the desk. “Shane, you’ve been on top of this since day one. Kahit sa engineering, nakikiaalam ka rin. You’ve done more than what was asked of you. It would be valuable to have you on-site.”

I lowered my gaze, forcing a small, polite smile. “Thank you Ma'am, but I just did what I had to.”

Her lips curved in the faintest smile, but her eyes stayed thoughtful — like she was trying to read between my words.

“Sige po. Pag-iisipan ko po,” I added quickly, before she could press any further.

“Alright,” she said finally, her tone clipped yet kind. “But Shane… don’t let fear hold you back from something you’ve worked hard for.”

I nodded, but I didn’t answer. Kasi kung sasagot ako, baka mahalata niya. Baka makita niya ‘yung takot na pilit kong tinatago.

Pagbalik ko sa table ko, doon lang bumagsak lahat — ’yung bigat sa dibdib, ’yung memories na pilit kong tinatabunan, ’yung lugar na ilang taon ko nang iniiwasan.

Because no matter how far I’ve run, no matter how much I’ve built this new life…

…that place will always be there. Waiting.

And sooner or later, I’ll have to face not just the site… but the ghosts I left behind.