NO CHOICE /r18

REVELATION AND REALIZATION

Eto ang unang beses na nakita ni Mylene si Juancho after they broke up more than a year ago.

She didn't know how to react, not because she still loved him or what, but because she still felt the pain that she thought was long gone. 

Is she still hurt until now or she was just overwhelmed with seeing him again? 

He still looked the same, and she was glad na walang nagbago sa kanya. It only means na hindi sya umasenso.

Would she say hi? Or greet him?

Or would she rather ignore and put on that poker face that she learned how to master?

Minahal nya si Juancho nang higit pa sa pwedeng mawala sa kanya.

Pinaglaban nya eto dahil akala nya, may halaga ang ipinaglaban nya.

But he betrayed her. He broke her. 

His infidelity shattered her.

His betrayal taught her hate.

His unfaithfulness killed her confidence.

Sobra syang nasaktan sa mga nangyari noon.

Sya yung lalaking nagpadama sa kanya na hindi sya sapat.

Sya ang lalaking sumira ng tiwala nya sa ibang tao.

Sya ang lalaking bumura ng pagmamahal sa kanyang puso.

At eto sya ngayon, right before her very eyes...

That same person she had admired, loved, and trusted

That same person who hurt her...

But she will never let anybody hurt her the way he had hurt her. Never again. Her heart was filled with so much hate for what he had done but she will not allow it to overpower her.

Because she is more than that...

"Hey, are you ok?" Alex asked her again.

She snapped back from her thoughts. "Oh sorry... Yes, I'm fine. I just suddenly felt bad. Nasubrahan ang kain ko yata." sagot nya. "Hmmm, can we go somewhere after we finish here?" blankong sambit nya sa asawa.

"Sure love. Anywhere you want." Alex asked the waiter for their bill.

They got up from their table and was about to leave when Shannon noticed them.

"Hello Alex! Andito ka!" bati ng babae kay Alex na nagpatigil sa kanya.

Patay! Sabi ko na nga!!!

"Shannon... Sorry, but we are in a hurry.  Enjoy your meal." dali daling sagot ni Alex habang hinahatak ang kamay ni Mylene.

"Sure, see you around! Oh and Hi Mam. " masayang sagot naman ng babae sa kanya.

He felt his wife froze and looked at Shannon and the guy she's with, with dagger eyes habang paalis sila.

Oh great! kilala nya! Do I need to tell her and explain na si Shannon ay isa lang sa mga random flings ko?  Di naman sya nagtatanong, so huwag nalang kaya....

Si Shannon ay isa sa mga paborito nyang f**k buddy. Ilang beses nang  may nangyari sa kanila at kagaya ni Cristy, isang tawag nya lang dito ay natutuonan kagaad ang kanyang pangangailangan. 

Maganda't sexy si Shannon. Pero alam na sa circle nila kung ano syang klase ng babae. Social climber, a f*buddy, hi-class escort girl... Pero ganun pa man, naging convenient ito sa kanya dahil di ito nanghihingi ng commitment.

Alex felt the silence and the change of mood when they were inside his car.

"Gusto mong mangkape or a bottle maybe for a nightcap?" he asked Mylene to break the awkward silence engulfing them.

"Let's go home instead. Sa bahay nalang tayo uminom." Mylene sternly answered.

"That sounds better."

And then they headed home.

***

Mylene was sitting at the terrace facing the pool area of their penthouse when Alex joined to sit beside her, handing her a glass of wine.

Another silence...

Then Mylene took a deep breath before saying "He was my ex..." she blurted.

"Huh?"

"Yung lalaking kasama ni Shannon kanina sa restaurant. He was my ex-boyfriend. My only ex-boyfriend!"

Aah, kaya pala! Yung lalaki pala ang tinitingnan nya. Akala ko oa naman---

Alex felt relieved but then, he looked at her and he saw that pain in her eyes, that one reason he was so curious to know, yet he remained silent.

"He betrayed me..." Mylene continued to speak, starting to let out that emotion she had been keeping inside her broken self.

"He broke me...no. Shattered me into pieces..." she said with vindication. Her voice was a bit shaky now. Like she was holding herself not to cry.

"Hey." Alex cut her. "If you don't wanna tell me, I understand."

wait, baka ito na yung sinasabi nilang scandal noon!

"No!" she blurted. "Ang p*tng inang lalaking yun ang sumira sa akin. Ang sumira sa tiwala ko sa ibang tao. And I hated myself for allowing him to do that." giit nya at ramdam ang galit sa mga sinabi nya.

She looked at him, na may mag luha nang bumubuo sa kanyang mga mata. 

"He just didn't hurt me. He broke me big time! I caught him.... ng dalawa kong mata na nakikipag s*x sya...  with Shannon. Do you know that they both work for us? And know what's worse? He blamed me na nagawa nya yun kasi daw, di ako pumayag na makipag s*x sa kanya! Ang gago lang, di ba? Siya yung nanloko, pero ako ang sinisi!"

Aba! Tangina! Gago pala talaga yun!!!

He reached for her hands to comfort her without saying anything, but it was his assurance to her that he was listening.

Mylene told him everything about what happened.

Mula sa simula nang pagkilala nya kay Juancho,

how she was pursued and courted, how they fell in love,

how she fought for him,

how she was betrayed...

She poured out everything na gusto nyang ilabas. She never talked about the details ng nangyari sa iba, maliban nalang sa mga kaibigan nya. Not even her family knew what exactly happened. Alam lang nila na nagkahiwalay sila, yun lang. They never asked her kung bakit.

Only her close friends Ann and Ogie knew kasi sila ang unang pumunta  sa kanya noong wasak na wasak sya at lugmok sa paghihinagpis.

Juancho was her first love... her only boyfriend....the only man she had loved...

At eto ang unang beses nyang shi-nare ang nangyari sa iba...

Well, di naman iba si Alex sa kanya. Asawa nya ito at she thought he deserved to know.

"He made me question myself. He made me felt so insecure. He was the reason why I lost all my trust in men, kahit kay Daddy, kay Kuya Michael, sayo... lalo na sayo..." she looked directly into his eyes

"Mylene....."

"He used me for his gain... Para makuha ang isang mataas na position sa kompanya namin. He was eyeing for that promotion na pala nang di ko alam. Kaya siguro ginamit nya ako to have it. Since then, I questioned myself kung talaga bang minahal nya ako, or minahal nya ako dahil sa isa akong Rivero..."

Alex rubbed her hands para mapakalma sya pero hinahayaan pa rin nya itong magsalita.

"Do you know that feeling of being used Alex? Masakit... Sobrang sakit. I vowed not to give my heart to anyone anymore... This arrangement we have right now, this the most convenient escape for me. I know this won't last... I know how to go with the flow. Alam ko na paano laruin to."

"Mylene, ibahin mo ako. I'm not like him."

She chuckled. "Hindi nga ba? What makes you different from other men, Alex? Lalaki ka. Yun na yun..."

"Mylene....."

"Kayat isang bagay lang hihilingin ko sayo bilang asawa mo Alex... Respeto... Respeto lang sa harap ko. Di man natin magawang mahalin ang isat isa, sana maging magkaibigan man lang tayo at maayos na magsasama. Alam mo na ang ibig kong sabihin. Kasi pinaghirapan kong buuin ang sarili ko, matagal kong hinanap ang worth ko, more than a year. Sana lang, if time comes na maghihiwalay tayo, hindi dahil sa niloko mo ako. Hindi dahil sa pinagpalit mo ako. Sana sa ibang rason. Sana lang wag mo akong saktan.. ulit..." she couldnt help herself now when tears shimmered in her eyes.

He sighed and his eyes welled up. "Pangako, di kita sasaktan...." he swore.

She smiled at him, looked down, and said; "Sana nga...."

Then Alex reached for her and kissed her gently and torridly, letting her feel that he is there, ... letting her feel that she is worthy, .... letting her know that she is special...

They passionately made love that night, freeing those varieties of emotions they felt after that talk.

Alex wanted to erase her doubts about herself.

He wanted her to feel na kaya nyang ipadama sa kanya how special she is.

Their body spoke that language na sila lang ang nakakaalam.

No words

And their moans and groans, the names that escape from their lips and their heartbeats were the only sounds that matter... the only sound that spoke the language of love.

After that glorious lovemaking they had, Alex lifted his wife at dinala sa kwarto. She fell asleep in his arms so he tucked her naked body on the bed.

Maraming bagay ang naglalaro sa isip ni Alex ngayon. Hindi pa sya naantok kahit napagod ang katawan nya sa kanilang pagniniig. He couldn't help but think of that revelation while Mylene was sleeping soundly on his chest.

He couldn't help but think about Mylene and what she had gone through.

She was a Rivero, pampered, protected, shielded, and loved.

Pero isang gago lang ang sisira at nanakit sa kanya!

Buti nalang hindi naging marupok si Mylene at ibinigay ang p********e nito. Baka mas sobra pang sakit ang mararamdaman ng asawa. 

At di nya lubos ma imagine si Mylene sa piling ng ibang lalaki.

Hoy Alex, bakit ganyan ka mag isip??? You never cared kung virgin or hindi ang babae. A good s*x is a good s*x, di bah??? Eh ano naman? Asawa ko sya at ayoko ko syang mapunta sa iba!!!

He smiled as he remembered their first night. Siya ang nakauna kay Mylene at para sa isang lalaki, malaking prize yun sa ego na makauna sa babae.Tatlong beses palang nakatikim ng virgin si Alex. He felt that there is a sense of responsibility pag ikaw ang nakauna.

He has his share of virgins.

Una, nuong nasa hi school pa lamang sya.

Pangalawa, yung pinsan ng classmate nya nung college na ka de-debut pa lamang.

At si Mylene...

He felt different rages and strange emotions.

Nagagalit sya sa g*gong Juancho na yun for hurting Mylene.

Nagagalit sya dun dahil sinira nya ang tiwala  ni Mylene.

Nagagalit sya dahil minahal sya ng sobra ni Mylene

At higit sa lahat, nagagalit sya dahil si Juancho ay isang halimbawa ng sarili nya...

He looked at her sleeping face. Napaka serene and at peace.

He realized that he wanted to know her more.

He wanted to give her more

He wanted to give her back what she had lost

He wanted her to feel more

He wanted to let her into his life...

Sana lang magampanan nya yun...

Sana lang magawa nya yun....

Dahil di nya alam kung papano....

Handa na nga ba sya sa ganitong bagay?

Handa na nga ba sya talikuran ang nakasanayang lifestyle?

Handa na ba syang makontento sa iisa lang?

Handa na ba syang buksan ang sarili para sa kanya?

Handa na ba syang magmahal?

Sapat na ba yun para mabago sya?