Alpha Rayven

Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, but sometimes they wind and wrap themselves around you until you can hardly breathe. That’s how I feel right now. My mind is on the verge of breaking, and my body is on the verge of purging. Always do as you’re told. Always do as you’re told. That has been my mantra since birth, drilled into my brain, into my very being, since before I could even walk. But for the first time, I want to break it. I can tell my father is staring at me, that he’s beginning to burn a hole into my mind, trying to break my feeble resistance, trying to make me bow to his will. I’m stronger than he thinks. I’ve just hidden it deep beneath my skin, tucked into muscles and tendons where he would never think to look. I let it go now. I let it seep out. I let him see that I have a backbone, that I won’t do what he’s asking. “Willow.” My name. Spoken from tightly drawn lips. He thinks he can make me do this. I don’t say a word as I slowly lift my gaze to meet his black eyes, the wolf swirling just beneath the surface. “It’s for the greater good of the pack, daughter,” he spits with venom. Oh, I’m not Willow anymore… just daughter. He’s trying to guilt me, trying to make me think of the women, of the children. But what would really change? One pack off our backs? There will be others to take their place, even with this bond. This is always the rule. It is always survival of the fittest, but my father refused to look at it this way. Maybe, this is his last pride as an alpha… or maybe his cowardice. My father knows what I’m thinking before I can say a word. “We will have protection, training, and a bond to last a lifetime. You will do this, daughter. Whether I have to drag you by the neck or not, this is happening. You had best accept it, move on, and start readying yourself, because Blackwood will be here within the hour.” There is no room for argument. I say nothing as he stomps out of my room like an errant pup. A few moments later, my mother and younger sister enter, ushering me to change and ready myself. I must look my best, of course, for the Blackwood alpha. An hour later, they’ve dressed me in a gauzy confection of cream lace that runs the length of my body. I spread my hands beneath my barely covered breasts. They might as well send me down the aisle naked for all this dress covers… if you can even call it that. You can see completely through it. I almost cry when I catch my reflection in the mirror. Everyone will see me. Everyone will see my wide hips and full breasts. They’ll see my almost bare rear. There has to be more to this dress. I ask my mother, but all I receive is a stern shake of her head. No complaints, it says. My hair is pulled loosely to one side, beaded and woven with baby’s breath. My makeup is nonexistent, save for a light pink tint on my lips. I have a few moments to rest before a commotion rises from the main floor of the pack house. He’s here. My father’s footsteps climb the stairs slowly, giving me time to react… time for my eyes to water, for my chin to lift, for my strength to seep out in the smallest measure. As he knocks on the sturdy wooden door, my mother presses a pair of lace underwear into my hands… a small gift to preserve my dignity, something most packs wouldn’t allow. Then again, most packs send their women naked as the day they were born. My sister, Shay, wraps me in a hug, and I feel her tie something around my wrist. I don’t look down. I want it to be a surprise, something to remind me of home. I smile at her, trying to keep her calm, trying to keep myself calm too. My father enters, his presence extinguishing what little happiness I had left. He doesn’t glance at my state of dress. He only holds out his arms for me to latch onto. I take them, knowing that all fantasies of love and laughter will end the moment I cross this threshold. I take no comfort in being a sacrifice for the “greater good.” It feels as though my life is ending and a new one is being born… a stronger version of me, forced to adapt to circumstances beyond my control. I take a small breath, pulling strength from my mind, my bones, anywhere I can find it. I take the first step.