Between Hate and Love

Chapter 7

I pouted my lips. Gusto ko’ng ipaalala sa kanya ang kahalagahan nang pagkain sa tamang oras, dahil siya ang nagturo sa’kin no’n. Pero, mukhang limot niya na rin iyon.

I took the folder from Khal’s hands and walked back to my mini office. I stretched for a bit and drank a glassful of water before proceeding to get things done.

From time to time, I was stealing glances at him, checking if he was doing fine. Kanina pa siya nakatitig sa screen niya at nagtatype, tapos tumitingin din siya sa cellphone niya, as if waiting for someone’s message or call.

I made a summary of the file because I had to make a presentation about it. Khal left notes on it, so I wouldn’t be lost. His handwriting still sucks, but it was readable.

I found myself tracing his handwriting and felt tight in my chest.

He used to write me letters. Love letters. Random letters.

It was past five o clock and I was only halfway done. My stomach was growling and even though I made myself full of water, it was not enough.

Maya maya pa may kumatok sa pinto. I stood up to open it, pero bago pa ako makatayo ay bumukas na ‘yung pinto. A woman who stood probably around 4’11 ran inside the room, giggling in a high-pitched tone. “Khal! My Khal! Gosh! I missed you!”

My forehead creased. I didn’t know the woman. She was pretty and had wavy ginger hair. She was wearing high heels, a crop top sweater in yellow, and a floral tight skirt in blue that reached her ankle. She carried with her a paper bag and immediately called me to get it.

“Hey? The new assistant, prepare this for us. My peppermint tea’s in there, I want it very hot. Okay?”

I looked at Khal, wondering who the girl was. But Khal only signaled me to do what the girl asked.

I took the paper bag and opened it, seeing tupperwares with food that smelled so good. Lalo ako’ng nagutom bigla. Pero mas lamang ‘yung inis ko. Lalo na nang lumapit ‘yung babae kay Khal para yakapin siya.

She was so loud.

“Hey, girl! Move already,” the girl told me, obviously wanting me to leave para masolo niya si Khal.

I looked at Khal, wanting him to tell me what was happening. Pero sino nga ba ako ulit? Just his mere assistant. Damn it.

“Go on. Just prepare it then you can leave. I’ll finish the presentation,” Khal told me in a completely different tone. He then looked at the girl and smiled at her.

He didn’t even give me at least one smile since I came back!

What the hell was going on here?

I sighed deeply and followed what he asked me to do.

Labag man sa loob ko, dinala ko ‘yung paper bag sa cafeteria and inayos ‘yon. I prepared everything on the tray and noticed that the food was Khal’s favorite.

There was the pain in my chest again.

I thought walang ibang babae sa buhay niya, so, sino ‘yung babae na ‘yon? Hindi ko ‘yon kilala and walang ibang nabanggit sa’kin si Venera. Sabi niya, lahat ng naging linked kay Khal ay namemeet niya sa bar, and usually, hindi niya dinadala sa opisina.

Pero ang babae na ‘yon, dumating sa office, at inutusan ako. It was like she had done it several times already, and Khal was used to her presence. Hindi siya basta-bastang babae lang.

Then I remembered that Khal kept checking his phone.

Siguro… siguro, hinihintay niya ‘yung babae na ‘yon.

I felt my tears welling up. Kanina ang confident ko pa kasi alam ko na walang ibang babae sa buhay niya, but seeing that girl made me feel threatened.

Heck. I wouldn’t know what to do if Khal was in love with another girl. It would be my death.

“Okay, calm down. Baka naman best friend? Long lost sister? Pinsan?” Venera told me. I called her because I was panicking. I needed his insights or else I would lose my mind.

“No, I know his family members. Pinakilala niya ako sa kanila, remember. I would know if relative niya ‘yung babae, but trust me, I don’t know her. She’s not even familiar to me,” pagususmbong ko kay Venera.

I heard Venera heaved a sigh. “Just, eat first. Hayaan mo muna sila. We’ll do some research on the girl since you’ve seen her face naman na. I’m more worried sa fact na hinayaan ka niyang hindi kumain, Angel.”

Sinunod ko ‘yung sinabi ni Venera. I brought the food back up in Khal’s office. Nang malapit na ako sa pinto, nairirnig ko na agad ‘yung tawa nung babae. And when I opened the door, I found the two of them sitting side by side with each other at the couch. Khal’s hands were at her back while she was leaning towards him, her hands on his thigh.

I quietly put the tray in front of them and pursed my lips, stopping myself from crying.

Bakit gano’n? Seeing him with another girl pained me so much. He couldn’t see that. And… I knew for so long that it was my fault. But the pain was too much for me to bear. So, I quickly excused myself and took my stuff.

“Uhm…” I cleared my throat to get their attention. I bowed at Khal without looking him in the eyes. “I’ll take my leave, sir. The presentation’s halfway done. I already emailed it to.”

I knew in my peripheral vision that Khal was not even looking at me. His attention was onto the girl, and I was a clear nuisance for them.

Khal didn’t even bother to bat an eye at me…

Fuck it.

I quickly made my way outside the office, crying silently as I made my way into the elevator.

He didn’t even stop me. He didn’t ask if I was fine. He didn’t care if I did not eat. He even told me to finish that presentation by six, but he stopped me once the girl arrived, then asked me to leave.

Nanghihina ako’ng sumakay sa elevator at tinawagan si Venera.

“He’s with her… He asked me to leave… What if she’s… What if she’s his girlfriend?”

I was asking for comforting words to Venera but she struck me with reality. “We have to confirm first. Kung gano’n nga, I don’t think you should be there anymore. It’ll do you no good, Angel. Huwag ka’ng gaga, please lang.”