Chapter 9.2
1610 Words
The light turned green and the car moved. We refused to talk or look at each other so I just stared at the view outside the window. Is this how heartbreak feels? It feels like I’m being stab in the chest multiple times despite me shouting to stop already because it hurts, it hurts to the point of insanity. The pain is eating me from the inside, slowly devouring all the life in me until it leaves me a soulless body.
"Please drop me off our house,” I whispered not looking at him. But I think he heard me because he maneuvered the car towards the direction of our village.
We were still not talking, and the car ride was so awkward I want to puke. I noticed that I was still holding onto the pictures, so I fix them and put them back on the compartment. A few minutes later, I saw the village entrance.
"Just drop me here, you don’t need to drop me at the house," I told him when we pass the gate. I don’t want to go home feeling like this, I want to walk around and release these negative emotions. Besides, this village is safe so no paparazzi will bombard me here. This is an exclusive village after all.
Without saying anything, he stops the car. I went out of the car without saying anything and after I close the door, he drove away. I smiled sadly at the car before I started walking.
I was just wandering around when I saw the village park. It's just an open area with trees and benches around it. I decided to sit and inhale fresh air.
"Lord, don’t you think it’s unfair? The one I love loves someone else?” I whispered in the wind. I just hope no one hears me and mistake me for a crazy woman.
Why can't people love freely? Why do we need to suffer when love should make us happy? People said that you need to suffer first to become happy. But I’ve been suffering for 7 years now. When my parents separated, they left a hole in my heart no one can fill, not even my popularity can fill. I felt incomplete.
People often envy me because of my looks, my talent, my natural humor and charisma. The word 'perfect' was already attached to my name. But I guess I just don't want to be perfect; I want to be a broken vase glued with love. I want a family that even faced with problems, we will be together to find solutions. I want a man who is brave enough to contradict me, smart enough to educate me, and love me enough to accept me for who I am.
I was thinking about everything when I felt droplets of water soak my clothes. Great, even the heavens pity me that it decided to pour rain. I just sat there because I can’t run and if I walk, the rain will still get me so what’s the point?
I started to quiver so I decided to stand up. I was fixing my bag when I noticed that the rain already stops. Huh? When I looked in front, the rain is still pouring, but I wasn’t getting wet anymore. I look up and saw a black umbrella being held by the hands of the man who makes my heartbeat incredibly fast, the same man who can hurt me so much. He was standing behind the bench where I was sitting.
He made me hold the umbrella while taking his hoodie off. He’s wearing a black shirt underneath. He took the umbrella from my hand and made me wear his hoodie. I didn’t protest because I was already shivering from the cold.
"Let’s go, I’ll take you home,” he said with his soft voice. A while ago he was shouting at me and now, he’s being so soft.
"I don’t want to."
"Erina, please."
"No, I can go home alone."
I started walking but he’s stalking me from behind and covering me with the umbrella. We were just walking silently. The umbrella was not big, and I noticed that he was already getting rained on.
"You don't need to accompany me," I told him coldly.
"I want to."
"But you don't need to."
"I want to--"
"I said you don’t nee--"
".....be with you."
I scoffed. Really? A while ago you were very mad that you raised your voice at me! I keep the thoughts in my head and just let him walk me to our house.
"f**k you! Don’t you dare take us out of this equation! You created this mess that can affect all of us!”
I was shocked when I heard Kesha shouting. It’s still early why are they here? And why are they shouting at each other? I looked at Silas, he was also shocked and looked at me with confuse eyes.
"You need to go," I told him. Whatever is happening inside, it's none of his business.
"You might ne---"
"Please."
He sighed and looked at me with pleading eyes. When I didn’t talk, he sighed deeply, gave me his umbrella and walk away. I was about to call him because he can use the umbrella but I heard another shout from inside, so I rushed to open the gate and then the door.
"Stop shouting!" I heard Leina almost crying.
I opened the door and saw then standing in the living room. Raqi is crying while Kesha is so mad while looking at her. Sassy is shock and Leina’s crying silently.
"What's happening here?"
"We saw this slut kissing with Nathan in the rooftop!” Kesha shouted while pointing at Raqi angrily.
"Kesha, let her explain first please..." I looked at her with pleading eyes. Here go my tears again. "I think they really love each other and it’s not just lust or something, hear her out first,” I added.
"Wait...." Kesha looked at me. "You knew about this?"
"Yes," I answered which shocked them. The three of them looked at me like I betrayed them.
"Oh wow! Why don’t you two be best friends then?” she said. Hurt visible in her eyes.
"Kesha, it's not like that. I accidentally learned about them too, but I feel like I don’t have the right to tell anybody about it because it’s her life after all,” I tried to explain.
"Why are you so mad in the first place? Do you like Nathan?” Raqi exclaimed. Ugh! This is frustrating because I know what she said is wrong.
"What the f**k? You have the audacity to drag me in your mess, you b***h? I was concerned about you! We all know were not allowed to have relationships! If you’re really in love, then stop hiding and tell the company! What if other people saw you too, huh? Are you thinking or this love you’re talking about has made you dumb?!”
Kesha shouted while tears stream down her face. She cried because of too much emotion.
"All of you are so unfair! You supported Erina with Silas! Why can’t you just do the same for me?”
Raqi answered which made me look at her. Kesha and the girls looked at me too. I felt like Raqi was throwing me under the bus, but I don’t have the energy to call her out.
"It's nothing serious. We’re not going to be together anyway…….” I told them while smiling sadly.
It’s the truth. We will never be together because he obviously has feeling for another woman. And I don’t want to be just someone’s second choice. I was my parents’ second choice and now with him too? I know I'm worth more.
"I just want to be happy! Why can’t you understand that?”
Raqi shouted before running towards the room. Leina and Sassy are both crying while sitting in the sofa. Kesha run to the kitchen to get a glass of water, after which she came back to the living room.
"This could've been avoided if you told us the truth Erina. I’m so disappointed at you,” she calmly told me.
Her voice was calm, but her words are daggers piercing my heart. I thought I can tell them what happen earlier and that they can comfort me. But this happens. The pain doubled.
"I'm sorry," I can’t look at them in the eyes while crying.
She didn’t answer me back. I can't take the atmosphere inside the house anymore, so I decided to go outside. My heart hurt so much that I couldn’t think straight. I even left the umbrella.
I was just looking down while trying to unlock the gate. The rain is still pouring hard and I’m already so wet, but I successfully opened the gate and stepped outside when someone pulled me in a hug. I recognize his smell immediately. He hug me tight which made me cry even more.
"Shhhh..." he whispered near my ear while gently caressing my back.
"I'm here," I heard him say despite the heavy rain.
"Stop crying, baby."
- Writer
