RECKLESS

PROLOGUE They said that when you are in love, you are in a forever bliss. You’re gonna feel so light, so warm, so magical... But for me? It turned out to be the worst. “Why did you cheat on me?!” I never shouted that angrily to anyone else. Not really. But when Raul Lim cheated on me without even showing any remorse, I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t hold my tears back from flowing down my cheeks. My chest was hurting. I was sure my eyes were bloodshot while looking sharply at Rico. “What’s the matter? Nagsama lang naman tayo dahil pinagkasundo tayo, tama? That was it!” “But I love you!” “Love?” He laughed unbelievably at me like I was telling a joke. “You can’t even say yes when I always ask you to have s*x with me then you’re gonna tell me, you love me?!” “I told you I’m not prepared!” “Pucha, paano mo `ko pakakasalan niyan kung sa bagay na `yan, `di ka pa handa?! Ano, titigangin mo `ko? Responsibilidad mo `yan sa `kin bilang asawa mo!” I stared at him with disbelief again because what the actual f**k?! Was the essence of this relationship having s*x?! I felt my soul had left me when I cried harder. Parang ang baba-baba ko bilang babae because I couldn’t even give my partner that thing. But was that even the measurement of how you love a person? In the end, he cut our engagement… for the reason that I would never be a good partner to him. I tried to explain to my clan about my side, but they didn’t even believe in me. “This is all your fault, Yllena! You failed to take care of your fiance!” My eyes went closed while my mother was raising her voice like she was literally mad. “But mama, I tried to fight for our relationship, believe me.” I begged her, everyone in the family to believe in me, but I only failed. “Fight? If you really fight for your relationship, matatag pa sana `yong relasyon ng pamilya natin sa kanila, Yllena. But it wasn’t enough! You weren’t enough!” My eyes stung because I couldn’t accept it! Pa’nong naging kasalanan ko? God knows I fought so hard in our relationship. Even though he was not giving the bare minimum to me, it was just fine with me. I still accepted it. But why still at the end of this, it was still my fault? “Michelle, enough,” my baba, in his calmest tone, did his best to stop mama, but my mama was strong-willed. “How can I stop, Leandro? She’s your eldest! And the Lim’s are one of those powerful families that we can have! Malaking bagay ang pinag-uusapan natin dito, Leandro!” I sobbed, watching my parents arguing about my failure. It only sank in me the gravity of this problem. Alam ko naman na kaya kami pinakasal, dahil sa merging ng pamilya. Here in Maestranza, aside from us the Yuchengcos, the Lims have one of the most influential and richest Chinese families there. Matagal na kaming apple of the eye eversince we were kids. Raul and I have been engaged since we were young. But I felt a pang in my chest upon knowing that my mom was not concerned about me but for the business. If the merging continues, we will be more powerful and richer than ever. The Lims owned the biggest logistics company here in Maestranza. Aside from that, they have a sixty hectare farmland next to us. While our family owned a commercial bank and some malls and gasoline stations here in Maestranza. The merging was promising, but just because I failed to give what Raul wanted from me, I ruined it. My mama gave me that one last look of dismay before she left us. “You’re such a disappointment, Yllena. Get out of this family. I can’t afford to see you here.” “Yllena, let’s go to the bar and chill, please?” Kanina pa ako kinukulit ni Sam, my officemate in Success. I moved in to Manila after mama told me to get out of our family. It’s been a month since I last saw them, and it was still painful to me that mama only saw me as nothing but a failure. Mabuti na lang, my friends here in Manila helped me to move on from my emotional crisis without them even knowing. I was in the condo when Sam had called via Facetime. It was just three days since I got accepted and since I had a new assignment to do, I needed to read a lot of articles about that person. “As much as I’d like to, Sam, you know I need to study my latest subject, right?” “Oh, come on, girl. Kilala naman `yong tao, eh, and you don’t need to do a lot of research. Everything starts with curiosity, you know.” I stopped walking in my living room and sat on my couch. I shook my head and grinned. “Honestly, that’s the reason why. I’m not interested in the subject so I have to research everything about him.” I heard her laughing on the other line. “Your deadline is next week. Don’t need to rush. Tara na kasi!” I grinned again. “Fine, fine.” In just a few minutes, Sam fetched me in my condo with her car. I felt a slight jealousy because I really wanted a car. Well, that’s one of my goals so I really needed to work harder. I got a quick GRWM before she arrived. I wore a black asymmetrical off-shoulder top and khaki mom pants, partnered with pointed shoes with high heels. I sprayed a Jo Malone English Pear perfume. We went to the bar near my condo in Mandaluyong. I asked Samantha what her problem was and she decided on going to the bar. She just told me she just wanted to relax because she got stressed. Well, I just shrugged. The bar was cozy and aesthetic when we went inside. Kaunti lang `yong tao sa bar na `to so we decided to go there. Most of the people here were rich kids and in their mid-age years. The first thing I did when we entered was to look up at the ceiling because of the hanging lights. I suddenly felt relaxed. My eyes darted at the center stage as the singer sang a love song. We went straight to the vacant table afterwards. Sam ordered a mild liquor drink while I ordered a mango shake, which made Sam mockingly laugh at me. She raised a brow while laughing. “Seriously?” “What?” I contested, became defensive. “I can’t be drunk. I just need to accompany you, girl.” She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” We also ordered a slice of cake and nachos just to make our stomach full. I watched again at the center stage when the gay host spoke. I just found myself laughing because the gay DJ was so entertaining. “So ayun nga, mga akla, sino na’ng kakanta next?” My eyes grew wide when Sam pointed her finger on me. “Siya po!” “You crazy woman!” I rolled my eyes while she was laughing, obviously enjoying the moment. “Come on, girl! You’re good at singing!” I was good at singing, I know. But I didn’t sing in public! I glared at her. “I don’t sing in public, Sam!” I got nervous when the gay host was happily looking at us. I even silently panicked when she started walking towards us! “Hi, `teh!” she started waving when she was already here at our table. I tried hiding at Sam’s back since she was seated beside me but this crazy woman was really struggling not to hide me! The host tapped me like we were already closed. “Kanta ka na, `teh. May consolation price kami sa kakanta, pramis! Free drinks, `teh!” The gay host was so pretty in her outfit and make-up. The offer was even convincing, but still! I won’t sing in public! “Please, girl! We need the free drinks! We’re here to be happy, right!” I was annoyed when she puppy-eyed me. “No. As far as I could remember, I’m here to just accompany you. It’s not included for me to become a singer in public, even just for a day!” I rolled my eyes when she laughed harder. If looks gonna kill her, I'm sure she’s dead right now! “Mga teh, dali na! Sayang naman ang free drinks!” She didn’t stop pushing me for a minute until I surrendered because we’re making a scene. I rolled my eyes at Sam when she got her victory and joined the host. When we were at the center stage, I was asked about the title of the song I’d like to sing. “Ano pala name mo, `teh?” “Yllena,” I replied. “Wow! Ganda ng name, akla! Anyway, ganda ng choice of song natin, ah. Heartbroken ka ba, `teh?” Yes… “No,” I simply answered. “Just my preference of song.” “Ay, taray! May pagano’n!” she laughed. Come on! My heart started beating so fast like I’d just like to end this! “Okay, `teh, sa `yo na ang floor! Iyong-iyo na!” she looked at the audience. “Let’s give it up for Yllena!” I held up the mic and watched the audience who were waiting for my song. Suddenly, a picture of painful memories flashed in my mind. I was having a relapse for a second. I took a deep breath. I chose to close my eyes and felt the pain hiding inside me for years. All because of Raul. “Cause someday, someone’s gonna love me The way I wanted you to need me Someday, someone’s gonna take your place One day, I’ll forget about you You’ll see, I won’t even miss you Someday, someday…” The crowd clapped at me after I sang the song. The host even greeted me with satisfaction in her eyes. I sighed. Okay, that’s it! When I went down the stage, I hurriedly walked to my table. I felt I was getting everyone’s attention because of my singing, ugh! “Hi!” I suddenly stopped in my tracks when a tall, curly haired guy blocked my way. I smiled. “Hi.” He replied with a smile. His dimple just came out and his brown eyes tendered. “Nice singing.” “Thanks.” when I tried to move forward, he didn’t even move! I took a deep long breath just to extend my temper. “Hi, I’d respectfully request you to not block my way.” I didn’t know if my tone was just so dry, but even though I was praying to dear God that he could, somehow, feel that I was not interested in him, he still continued! “Just a minute,” he said like he was requesting me to listen to him. “I could feel the song you’ve chosen was intended for someone. I could say that the host was right. Heartbroken, are you?” My God! This strange person was even prying into my personal life! I raised a brow. “Sorry?” He laughed. “Oh, sorry. Was just asking.” he offered a hand. “VJ here. And you?” I looked at his hand and at his face. He has the face, I know, but I was still not interested. And never will be. I stared at him casually. “Just a living creature paying for my debts. Now please, excuse me.”