Dear, Joey

26

I woke up with silent around me, but the monitor on my side makes beeping sound every time. White ceiling, and a drowsy feeling on my head. Parang ang tagal kung natulog, that makes me feel light weight.

Parang nagising lang talaga ko ng biglang may bumukas na pinto, I heard heavy steps and a chair dragging near my side, I cling my head and search the person fixing the chair. My mother is with a messy bond and a bare face, she looks so pale.

"Mommy" I quietly said, like a whisper in the wind.

I thought she didn't hear me, but she looks up and stop looking at me with her shock face. I tried to smile at her blinking because of the blinding light on the ceiling.

"Hi…" I say again, this time I heard my hoarse voice. Parang plastic na nilamukos ang boses ko, it's like I didn't use it for a while now. What happened?

Nabigla na lang ako ng makita ko ang paghagulgol ni Mom ng iyak sa harap ko, hovering me and kissing my forehead trying to hug me.

"My baby!" iyak nya, I felt my eyes wet, and I try to raise my hand, but a dextrose was on it and still the beeping sound of the monitor on the side.

"Mom, your heavy" I complaint trying to laugh a bit.

Agad din syang natauhan.

"I'm sorry, wait... Let's call the doctor! A-and then Lenuel." singhot nya.

I just watch her panicking to call the doctor and calling everyone.

I sigh when I felt pain and itchy on my side for a hundred times already. The doctor said that it's healing, hindi pa ko pwedeng umuwi dahil may mga test pa kung gagawin at ma sure na safe na ko for recovery.

On the same day, Enrique and Jemaine rush here and crying to my shoulder. Tinakot ko daw silang lahat ng sobra, they all thought that I'm going to die because I lost so much blood and may natamaang organ sa saksak na yun, it took me 7 days to regain my conscious. Kaya ganun na lang sila mag react.

Even Jemaine who's in Spain for just a couple of days and go back again because of me. I tried to ease the mood for days because of their behaviors. Jullie is not allowed in the hospital and she's with Tito Henry.

I tried to smile and laugh every time of the day but when things get silent, my thought are filled with things.

I once ask Mom about Kuya Lenuel and Jullienne but her answer is vague that makes me nod to response.

Lumipas ang isang linggo bago ako makalabas.

Napahinto ako saglit ng makita ang naghihintay sa aming sasakyan sa underground parking lot ng ospital. They insisted to put me in a wheelchair kahit na kaya ko naman nang maglakad.

"Where's Mang Pedring?" kunot noo kung tanong, staring at the man with a suit formally standing beside the huge van. Hindi yun ang van namin.

May isa pang lalaking tumutulong kay Enrique at Jemaine to put our things on the back of the van.

"Binilin ko muna sa kanya ang hacienda at ibang katiwala. It's Lenuel's driver." yiningala ko si Mom.

"Since when?... Mom, mayroon ba kayong hindi sinasabi sa akin?"

"Of course not!" kurap nya, and that makes me frown more. I knew her more than anyone even Tito Henry. So alam kung nagsisinungaling sya.

"It's more convenient for us baby, matanda na rin si Mang Pedring kaya naisipan ng Kuya mo na it's better na may driver tayo. It's for own safety as well..."

"Safety?... for what? Is this about the girl who stabbed me?!" nauubusan kung pasensyang asik, I tried to stand up. They tried to stop me, but I just raise my hands to them with a glare.

"It's a girl? We thought it's a man!?" Jemaine.

May tinatago sila sa akin. I knew it! 

"We were going to talk when we got home! I swear, you will not see the day for this!" galit kung asik sa kanilang tatlo bago dahan dahang lumakad papasok ng Van, the other man tries to help but I just side glare at him making him stop reaching me.

"We we're just trying to make you safe" pasok ni Jemaine.

"Shut up Jem" Enrique hissed.

Mom seat beside me with her worried eyes on me. The man closes the door and get inside. Dalawang lalaking hindi ko kilala ang nasa manibela at ihahatid kami, nice.

"For taking me in the dark huh?" I sarcastically said.

"Jullieanna, you we're stabbed to death! We can't just ignore it!" pagtatalo ni Jemaine. Nasa likod sila nakaupo.

"I don't say that I'm ignoring it, I am saying that you won't even telling me everything here Jemaine! Karapatan kung malaman ang nangyayari, I'm involved to this! I even thought that they all don't care about me at all!" I groan after when I felt pain on my side.

Nauntog pa si Enrique sa likod para sumaklolo sa akin. I just give them a nod and sigh that I am okay.

"See! You’re going to be stress to this and it's not healthy, we were just trying to protect you"

I sigh, resting my back softly. Palabas na kami ng hospital.

"Kung hindi ko pa sinabing babae ang sumaksak sa akin baka ngayon naghahanap pa rin kayo ng lead. Hindi ako tanga para hindi maintindihan ang gawi nyong lahat, even the blink of your eyes I know that you've been lying to me. Busy my ass! I will kill them both! Specially that Tegan Marval!" mariin kung sabi sa bawat salita making them all silent. Nakita ko ang palitan ng tingin ng dalawang lalaki sa harap namin.

"We were just trying to protect you" pagkaraan.

"I know it Ricks, but the killer is capable of stabbing me in the middle of the crowd, in front of Tegan." I frustrated said trying to sigh the pain on my throat.

For days, his reaction was replaying in my mind, and it does not make me feel better because I saw terror on his eyes. It's not the Tegan Alfonso Marval that I used to see. The carefree but serious Tegan.

"So, protecting me by keeping me in the dark makes me more in danger. I want to know what's the reason behind of this, no one will stop me. No one." I said closing my eyes to rest.

I felt my mom hand caress my hair and shoulder.

Nakauwi kami ng matiwasay at walang masyadong traffic. Gabi na kaming nakauwi kaya pagkatapos naming magkwentuhan ni Jullie ay agad na nakatulog ako dahil sa pagod.

The next day, nagising ako ng mas maaga. I take a bath in a hurry before cleaning my wound. Nasa kalagitnaan akung ng pag de-dressing ng sugat ko when my door opens so quietly, na hindi ko narinig agad bago ang click ng doorknob.

I am inside the bathroom, barefoot, wet hair, wearing a short and loose shirt. Pinagpapawisan na nga ako dahil sa hirap na paglinis ng sugat ko. I know how dahil tinuruan ako ng doctor at nurse sa hospital. Pahilom na rin naman but still, it needs to clean regularly.

My bathroom's door is open so I will saw someone on it through facing my mirror sink.

I waited to someone to show up, but I didn't expect a face pop up on the bathroom door. I stare at him through the mirror, and him staring at my reflection.

It's like, it's been so long when I saw him that it seems like he changes a bit. Mas lumaki ang katawan nya_ he seems dark a bit. Where is he been all this time?

I smile at him on the mirror.

"Hey..." I greeted. Tugging my shirt down but I saw his eyes follow my hand. I fix my med kit; he slowly gets inside.

I pretend not to notice and face him, leaning my body to the sink.

"So, Good morning..." I was taken aback when he towers over me. Handsome rugged look that's what I call his presence right now. His wearing a black fitted V-neck shirt, ripped jeans, and black boots. Did he arrive last night? or today? What's with the dark mode?

He stares at me like, this is the first time that he sees me this way. Naiilang na ngumiti ako habang sinusuklay ang basa kung buhok.

"I just take a shower Tegs_ What's with the stare? I'm fine!" natatawa kung sabi looking at his face.

He didn't move nor take his eyes off of me, he just stare. Unti unting nawala ang ngiti ko when I noticed the dark bags under his eyes and his hair seems long that it reaches his eyes a bit.

"Hey" I called with a shaky voice. I stand straight reaching his arm, but he suddenly moves, hold the back of my head and my waist pulling me close to him, envelope my lips with his own.

My eyes bulge staring at his long lashes, the hot on his body, the softness on his lips moving, desperate to find me, so I let him.

I moan when I felt him pin me on the sink with his body. Hard but seems soft at the same time and real hot.

He places his self between my legs, pulling me up, placing me on the side of the sink without letting me go. He run his hand on my back, up to my neck and hold my head between his hands. I ran my hand to his chest and try to push him away.

He moans and try to catch my lip once again, but I hold his neck trying to see his reaction. There's a pain reaction his face and relief at the same time. He breathes deep and drop his forehead on mine. Still silent and reserve, holding me at the back of my neck and my lower back to keep me balance on the sink and him.

"I'm okay though." Hindi pa ko tapos magsalita umiiling na sya like he didn't believe it.

I hold his face.

"I'm fine. I'm alive." I said try to face him to me, but he just pushes my hand on his face and envelope me a tight hug, burying his face on my neck and my wet hair. He sighs, take a deep breathe, then resume his hold to me every time.

Nanginginig ang mga labing pinilit kung wag umiyak sa gawi nya. So, I hold him the way he wanted and hug him. Whispering that I am okay, we're okay. Everything's fine.

Ilang minuto kaming nagstay ng ganun bago ko naramdamang nangangalay na ko. 

"Nangangalay na ko" bulong ko sa kanya. I shreik a shout when suddenly, he lifts me up in a bridal style, he just stares at me seriously while felt myself flushed and I just settle my hand on my stomach. 

Binaba nya ako sa pilig ng kama, slowly and very carefully. Ingat na ingat syang di masagi man lang ang katawan ko lalo na ang bewang ko. He kneels in front of me and try to lift my shirt, but I hold his hand. 

"I'm fine, sabi ni Dok ay maghihilom rin agad yan pagkalipas ng isang buwan o higit pa, ang dami nyang binawal sa akin, tapos may follow check up pa ko this coming weeks, kahit sila Mom, Jemaine, Enrique insisted to accompany me always." pagsusumbong ko at tapik ko sa kamay nya, holding it with my both hands. Kape at gatas, parang ganun kami. His hand is white and soft while mine is brownish and rough a bit, but the size is so different from one another, ang liit ng kamay ko kumpara sa kanyang sobrang laki. 

"They should do it" he said. 

"No, nakakairita kaya, okay na naman_" I stop when I saw his stare on me again. Kahit nakaluhod at nakaupo na ko ay magkapantay pa rin kami. 

Magsasalita pa sana ako ng bumukas ang pinto at nangangalumatang Lenuel ang nakita ko, natigilan din sya ng makita ang ayos namin.

I look between of them and seat straight crossing my arms carefully.

"This must be a good timing"