My Trans Pagibig

Chapter 30: Ang Pighati Ni Miranda

CHAPTER 30: ANG PIGHATI NI MIRANDA

MIRANDA (POV)

Alam kong irita kayo sa akin. Ako lang naman ang ultimate kontrabida sa buhay ng inyong bidang si Sallie Buan, my dearest cousin. My only cousin. Well wala akong pakialam sa inyo. This is my chapter! Iku- kwento ko sa inyo ang tunay na nangyari sa pagitan namin ni Sallie. Mag- throwback muna tayo. After niyong malaman ito, for sure hindi niyo na mamahalin ang bida sa kwentong ito - si Sallie, my dearest cousin. Wala na akong choice kundi magkwento sa aming nakaraan, isang oras lang ang byahe namin pa- Palawan pero parang ang tagal. Katabi ko ba naman itong bwisit kong pinsan.

..........

Balik tayo noong high school palang kami ni Sallie. Fourth year na rin kami noon. Mga bata palang kami ay close na kaming dalawa. Hindi lang kami magpinsan. Matalik na kaibigan at kapatid ang turing namin sa isa't- isa. Hindi kami mapaghiwalay. Mahal na mahal namin ang isa't- isa.

Natatandaan ko pa noong mga bata kami, sa Pampanga pa sila nakatira noon. Every weekend pumupunta kami sa kanila nila daddy at mommy. Siya lang ang gusto kong kasama every weekend. During weekdays sa school wala akong ibang sinasamahan at hindi talaga ako nakikipagkaibigan sa iba. Sallie. Sallie. Sallie lang ang bukang bibig ko. Bagay na sobrang approved naman kina mommy at daddy at kay uncle. Kami lang kasi ang magpinsan. Kami lang ang magiging magkakampi. Sobrang saya ko noong lumipat na sila ng Metro Manila. Hindi na namin kailangang pumunta sa probinsya. Kahit araw- araw after school ay nagpapahatid ako sa driver namin para lang bisitahin si Sallie sa kanila.

Bonding moment namin ang panunuod ng movies, kdramas at pagme- make up. Sabay kaming natutong mag- ayos ng sarili. We shared each others make up. Grabe ang impluwensya sa amin ng mga Youtube make up vloggers.

'Yung magandang relasyon namin ay sa isang iglap masisira. February 'yon. JS Prom namin. Sabay pa kaming nag- ayos. She was wearing pink dress that time at purple naman ako.

"Grabe ang ganda mo ngayon Sallie. For sure ikaw ang magiging Prom Queen." Komento ko matapos kong makita ang kanyang final look.

"Mas maganda ka Miranda. Mas deserve mong maging Prom Queen. Wala naman akong interes dun. Masaya ako kapag ikaw ang nakakuha non." Tugon naman niya. Ganyan siya ka- supportive sa akin. Lahat ng ginagawa ko siya ang unang taon nagchi- cheer sa akin. She was really a sister and a best friend.

"Alam niyo pareho kayong maganda. Napaka- swerte ng mga Buan, ng mga daddy ninyo na kayo ang kanilang mga anak nila." Saad ni mommy. Tinulungan niya kaming mag- ayos ni Sallie para sa napaka- espesyal na araw na ito. Wala ng ina si Sallie kaya naman itinurin na rin niyang parang tunay na ina si mommy at anak naman ito sa kanya.

"Thanks mommy!"

"Thank you po auntie. Wait lang po ah mag- cr lang ako." Pagpapaalam ni Sallie.

"Go ahead." Saka ako hinarap ni mommy. "Miranda, pagkahatid ko sa inyo mamaya sa venue ng Prom ay aalis lang ako saglit. May imi- meet lang akong friends sa isang resto around the vicinity. Susunduin ko nalang kayo after. Basta bago matapos ang Prom nandoon na ulit ako sa venue."

"Okay po mommy. Ingat ka po ah."

"Okay Miranda baby, enjoy naman kayo huh?"

"Yes mommy. That's for sure!" Excited kong tugon.

"In case kailangan niyong mag- retouch dalhin niyo na itong pouch ko. Nandyan yung essential make ups na pwede ninyong gamitin ni Sallie."

"Hindi niyo po dadalhin ang pouch ninyo? Di ba po nandyan ang gamot ninyo?"

May panic attack si mommy. Malala. She was an ex- beauty queen bago sila naging mag- asawa ni daddy. May- December love affair sila. Twelve years ang tanda ni daddy kay mommy. But age doesn't matter. Mahal na mahal nila ang isa't- isa. One week after niyang manalo sa isang national pageant ay dinukot si mommy. Sobra siyang na- trauma sa nangyari. Muntik pa siyang mabangga noon dahil sa pagtakas. Nakatakas siya pero muntik na raw siyang mamatay dahil sa labis na panic attack. Sobrang lala. She almost had a heart attack. Mabuti nalang at nakita siya noon ni daddy. Iniligtas siya nito. Doon nagsimula ang kanilang love story. Kahit na dumaan siya sa therapy ay may mga bagay pa rin na nagpapa- trigger sa panic attack niya. May sakit din siya sa puso kaya hindi namin siya ini- stress. Kami lang ni daddy ang nakakaalam ng sitwasyon ni mommy. Ayaw nilang ipangwento sa iba ang sakit niya dahil gusto nilang mabuhay si mommy ng normal.

"Around the vicinity lang naman ako baby. Wala naman sigurong mangyayari hindi maganda doon sa malapit. Isa pa kasama ko naman ang driver natin. Aalagaan ako ni manong."

"Dalhin niyo na po mom ang gamot ninyo para sure." Pagpupumilit ko.

"Wag na baby. Okay lang talaga. Don't worry okay? Wag ako ang isipin mo. Ang isipin mo dapat mag- enjoy ka sa prom, kayo ni Sallie. Okay ba 'yon?"

Kahit na nag- aalala ay muli namang na- divert ang atensyon ko sa prom. Napakaamo ng boses at mukha ni mommy kaya mabilis niya lang akong makumbinse. Actually, noong araw na yun extra amo ng kanyang boses at mukha. Hindi ko rin alam.

Pagkahatid niya sa amin sa venue ay pinagmasdan muna kami ni mommy na makapasok sa loob. Iyon na pala ang huling kita ko sa kanya na humihinga pa siya at buhay pa siya.

Malalim na ang gabi. Malapit nang i- announce ang Prom King and Prom Queen. Nakita kong may kausap sa phone si Sallie. After ng phone call na iyon ay nagmukha na siyang balisa.

"May problema ba Sallie?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"Huh? W- wala naman Miranda. Tara na balik na tayo sa table natin. B- balita ko ikaw ang mananalong Prom Queen eh. Kailangan nandoon na tayo." Saad niya. There was something off pero hindi ko nalang pinansin.

Inanunsyo na ang prom king. Hanggang sa biglang tumawag si daddy.

"Miranda nasaan ka? Tinawagan na ni manong si Sallie bakit hindi mo pa rin pinupuntahan ang mommy mo? She needs your medicine! Naaksidente sila! Inatake rin siya sa puso!"

Then everything shuttered. Napatingin nalang ako kay Sallie habang lumuluha. Si manong ang kausap niya kanina pero hindi niya sinabi sa akin ang nangyari. Nasa akin ang gamot ni mommy for panic attack and for her heart problem.

"Kapag may nangyaring masama kay mommy. I will never forgive you Sallie. Never!"

Bigla nalang akong tumayo at nagtatakbo palabas upang puntahan sila mommy. Wala akong tigil sa pag- iyak. Tumatakbo lang ako habang nakasuot ng heels nang puntahan ko 'yung lugar na sinabi niyang kikitain niya yung kaibigan niya. Malapit nga doon sa lugar ay may aksidenteng nangyari. Hindi ko pa alam ang buong detalye ngunit nakataob ang sasakyan namin at nakapailalim ito sa malaking truck.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Agad akong lumapit.

"Miss wag kang pumasok dyan. Dinala na sa ospital ang mga biktima." Saad ng isang pulis.

"Saan pong ospital?" Tanong ko.

Sinamahan naman nila ako sa ospital kung saan sinugod sila mommy.

"Dok kumusta po si mommy?" Kagyat kong tanong sa doctor sa Emergency room ng ospital.

"I'm so sorry hija. Wala na ang mommy mo."

..........

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary

When troubles come and my heart burdened be

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence

Until You come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up to more than I can be

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up to more than I can be.

..........

I'll always remember

It was late afternoon

It lasted forever

And ended so soon

You were all by yourself

Staring up at a dark gray sky

I was changed

In places no one will find

All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)

It was there that I realized

That forever was in your eyes

The moment I saw you cry

The moment that I saw you cry

It was late in September

And I've seen you before (and you were)

You were always the cold one

But I was never that sure

You were all by yourself

Staring up at a dark gray sky

I was changed

In places no one will find

All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)

It was there that I realized

That forever was in your eyes

The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you

I wanted to make it go away

I wanted to know you

I wanted to make your everything

All right...

I'll always remember

It was late afternoon

In places no one will find

In places no one will find

All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)

It was there that I realized

That forever was in your eyes

The moment I saw you cry

..........

There's a sing that's inside

Of my soul

It's the one that I've tried to write

Over and over again

I'm awake in the infinite cold

But you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours I pray

To be only yours

I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars

Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again

When it feels like my dreams are so far

Sing to me of the plans

That you have for me over again

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours I pray

To be only yours I know now you're my only hope

I give you my destiny

I'm giving you all of me

I want your symphony

Singing in all that I am

At the top of my lungs

I'm giving it my all

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours I pray

To be only yours I pray

To be only yours I know now you're my only hope

..........

And now the end is here

And so I face that final curtain

My friend I'll make it clear

I'll state my case, of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full

I traveled each and every highway

And more, much more

I did it, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few

But then again too few to mention

I did what I had to do

I saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course

Each careful step along the byway

And more, much, much more

I did it, I did it my way

Yes, there were times I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

But through it all, when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself then he has naught

Not to say the things that he truly feels

And not the words of someone who kneels

Let the record shows I took all the blows and did it my way