Blazing Mirror

BM11

"I WANT a hard liquor!" I commanded at Sage who's frowning at me.

He sneered. "I don't want to clean your shits." Inirapan niya ako habang binubuksan ang beer-in-can na binili niya.

While we’re drinking on the balcony of his condo, we were just silent the whole time. Nakatingin lang kami sa mga bituin at buwan while feeling the breeze.

Again, I felt a spang in my heart when I remembered some memory of this scenery. "Missin' your mother?" tanong niya sa kalagitnaan ng katahimikan.

Napalingon ako sa kanya. How did he know? When he felt that I was staring at him, napalingon din siya. Ako ang unang nag-iwas ng tingin.

"I miss them… so much," I replied in a brittle voice while looking at the sky.

How are my two moms, God? I hope they'll feel what I feel right now. I'm bad at making decisions.

"I miss her too..." He struggled while looking at the sky too.

Kanina lang ay nagpa-party siya at ngayon… napalungkot ko yata. The hell, Alexandra, nandadamay ka ng ibang tao!

"After the bomb dropped on me. I always think of myself as a glass full of water." Water symbolizes people that I cherished for my whole life. "Binasag ako. Basag na basag and I wasted all the water I have in my life. Hindi ko na maibabalik si Mommy, si Daddy, ang tiwala ni Daven at higit sa lahat ay ang ina ko…" Again, I cried like a kid. Kaagad kong pinunasan ang mga luha ko at pinipigilan ang sarili na huwag ulit umiyak nang maalala ang sinabi niya kanina.

I flinched when he made me lean on his shoulder. Hindi ko man lang napansin na nailipat niya pala ang monobloc na inupuan niya kanina sa tabi ko. Nang mapansin niyang nailang ako, he initiated to put my arms and snake it around his waist.

My heart…

"Why did you stop crying?" His voice was hoarse.

"You hate cry babies…" I don't know but I pouted.

"Binasag ka..." He sighed deeply. "Why not use the broken pieces of the glass to hurt those people who broke you?"

"S-should I?"

He chuckled so sexily! I almost felt my loud heartbeat na sa tingin ko ay maririnig niya na! Lalayo na sana ako sa kanya nang haplusin niya ang buhok ko habang nasa langit ang mga tingin.

"I really hate cry babies…" Nilingon niya ako at bahagyang pinisil ang tungki ng ilong ko. "But you're an exception."

Kaagad akong bumitiw at lumayo sa kanya. "Nasusuka ako," pagdadahilan ko at mabilis tumakbo papasok sa condo niya.

Nang makapasok sa loob ay kaagad akong napahawak sa pinakamalapit na lamesa sa kinatatayuan ko.

"My heart…"

This is just for now! I'm drunk! I'll definitely forget this tomorrow!

Napasimsim ako sa shotglass na hawak ko pa kanina. After what I found out, I immediately run to the nearest bar around me. Naalala ko na kung ano ang nangyari sa condo, ang araw na kung saan ko nalaman na wala na si Mommy. What annoyed me is that he didn't ask me about those people I mentioned when I cried.

When I remembered what happened in his condo… I felt the same just like what I felt that night.

HINDI na ako nasurpresa nang makita ang pagmumukha ni Daven sa harap ko. His arms are crossed while looking at me like I was his prey. He's pissed and annoyed with me because I made him wear another suit again.

I tsked. "As if there's no maid on that house," tanging sagot ko lamang sa mga reklamo niya. "At sino ba kase ang nagsabi na 'yan ang suotin mo?"

"Dahil ito ang ginawang rason ko sa ginawa mong kabastusan? You didn't even care to pick up your father's calls." Then he fixed his suit while glaring at me.

Daven is like a woman atmas hinigitan pa nga yata ako! He wanted all the parts of him cleaned.

My lips pursed. "Sage and Avilianna are siblings."

Kaagad siyang napangiwi sa sinabi ko. He can't believe it, as expected. "Ah, that's why Avilianna envies Astrid! When I asked some teachers, 'yan palagi ang sinasabi nila. I was confused why would a woman like her desire the school to be hers." Tumatango-tango pa siya.

Avilianna envies Astrid? Sounds interesting. Paano pa kaya kapag nalaman niyang there's something between me and his boyfriend? Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti sa iniisip.

"Astrid, Avilianna, and Sage are widely-known students on the campus. They gave many glories in the school. Avilianna is into music and arts. Palagi siyang umuuwing panalo sa tuwing may paligsahan, mostly international contests. Astrid is the smartest and most popular in the school among the three of them, while Sage is popular in the sports department."

Napatikhim ako sa huling sinabi niya. What are his sports? Syempre, hindi ko 'yon tinanong. I don't want him to get the wrong idea. Malisyoso pa naman ang isang 'to.

"I was surprised in his sports. At first, I thought it was basketball. You know, basketball is everyone's sport, but he’s into taekwondo. A black belter."

Well, taekwondo suits him.

"So, what are we gonna do now? Have you plotted your revenge already?" biglaang tanong niya.

I grimaced. "How can I plan it if I didn't expect all of this, Daven—"

"I understand. Of course who wouldn't be surprised to know that your soon-to-be sister-in-law is a murderer! I wonder if the accident has to do with Sage's father and Sage himself."

My jaw clenched at what he concluded. Paano nga kung meron? Anong gagawin ko? Of course, they will have a taste of my revenge! No one has an exception if it’s about my mother's death.

"I heard Sage is good at women. Don't let your guard down, Lex—"

Parang nabingi ako sa sinabi niya.

"Wait, what? Do you think I'll fall in love with that man? Just like how Astrid does?" I shifted myself on him getting annoyed.

He chuckled, but it was more like a forced chuckle. "Prevention is better than a cure." His eyes squint, na para bang pinapanoud niya lang lahat ng galaw ko.

I glared at him. Did I sound guilty?!

There's no way I'll fall in love with that man. Sage is not the kind of man that will stick in one woman only. Astrid is an example. He hurts her by dating someone even though they were engaged. Tapos mamahalin ko pa? Tanga lang?

JUST like my usual morning routine, gumising ako nang maaga para maligo. Kakain even though I'm on a diet. Pipiliting mag-suot ng mga damit na out of my fashion. I really wish Astrid's life is not this boring.

"Looks like I'm back in the good old days," I mumbled in the air while hopping out in the car.

Mabuti naman at valid ang reason na ginawa ni Daven. I wasn’t interrogated by that Mayordoma and Astrid's father as if I did a crime for ditching that stupid dinner.

Daven is absent for today. I feel like his time was halted because of me. I think I persuaded him too much. Hindi ko naman kase inakala na nangyari na pala ang matagal niyang pangarap! Should I give up on him?

Napabalik ako sa reyalidad nang mayroong tumawag. Speaking of that jerk…

"What?" I tried to make my voice sound like I'm irritated because of his absence.

He chuckled. "Don't sound as if you were stressed there. I finished all your papers—"

"Mr. Cheng? It's your turn," narinig kong sabi ng kung sino sa kanyang background.

"Gotta go, Lex. Take care." Then he ended the call.

I sighed deeply. Kapag nalaman ko na ang mga kahinaan ni Avilianna, I will give up on Daven and work my revenge along with Daven.

WHEN lunchtime finished, I strolled around the campus with kiwi juice in my hand. I got bored. Tinapos na ni Daven lahat ng iniwan ni Astrid na mga papeles. Daven is really a hardworking ass.

Tinted ang glass sa loob ng classrom kaya hindi nila makikita na palaboy-laboy ako rito. May iilang estudyante at guro akong nakakasalubong, and just like the usual, lahat sila ay yumuyuko.

Besabella Medical Center and Besabella International School is the best private school in the country. Lahat ng mga kagamitan na meron sila dito ay high-tech. Advance din ang mga lessons na meron sila. I heard this school was about to land on the ground, thanks to Astrid's father, the glory of this school came back after that.

"I wonder…" bulong ko sa hangin habang nasa rooftop ng main building. Nililipad ng hangin ang dulo ng suot kong wrap-around skirt. "What if I destroy this school?"

"I was confused. Why would a woman like her desire this school to be hers."

What if I destroy this school that was cherished by the woman I resented the most? That will be epic.

I feel like my moment here was wrecked when I heard some voices, arguing. Lover's quarrel, I see. Puppy love lang naman ang mga ganyanan. There's no such true love at the age of 16, 17, 18, and even 19. Duh.

Papasok na sana ako sa pintuan nang may biglang estudyanteng papasok din. Nagmumukha kaming nag-aagawan sa pintuan ngayon. Napayuko siya habang pinapahiran ang mga luha. Bahagya pang nanginginig ang kanyang mga balikat. Nagkibit-balikat ako at naunang pumasok.

While I'm on my way to the office, napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang makita sa loob ng kwarto si Avil at 'yung lalaking hinalikan ko… Was his name Dale? They look so happy while eating and talking at the same time.

Napasimsim ako sa hawak kong juice. Habang nakatingin sa mga ngiti ni Avil ay parang kumukulo ang dugo ko. 11 years is too much for your freedom at ngayon sisingilin na kita. Hindi ko hahayaang ngumiti ka kahit isang segundo man lamang simula ngayon.

"What are you looking at?"

Kaagad akong napahawak sa aking dibdib nang biglaang makarinig ng pamilyar na baritonong boses.

"Kabute ka ba? Bigla-bigla ka na lang sumusulpot!" sigaw ko sa kanya dahil sa inis.

He frowned before he took a glance at the door where I sneak a peek.

"Bakit mo sila tinitignan?" tanong niya na may bahid na pag-aakusa.

I smiled at him playfully. Tinalikuran ko siya para tingnan ang nasa loob. "They're so sweet, huh? Dale is a romantic man. I wish I have a man like him." I gasped exaggeratedly at hinarap siya. "Should I get a man like him—I mean, no! Should I just get him instead?"

A dark expression showed up and his jaw clenched. f**k, gusto ko na lang yatang bawiin ang sinabi ko! And why is he giving me that look?! Is he—tanga! Syempre jowa 'yan ng kapatid niya!

"Try it, Astrid, and be my guest," mariin niyang panghahamon.

Inirapan ko siya. "Whatever." Tinalikuran ko siya pagkatapos.

Napaka-protective na Kuya niya naman! Didn't he know that he's protecting a murderer? O baka alam niya rin? Tumiim ang bagang ko sa iniisip.

Para akong spring na bumalik nang bigla niyang hinila ang braso ko. Nararamdaman ko ang gaspang ng kanyang kamay, malayo sa mga banayad na kamay ni Daven. Umiigting pa rin ang kanyang panga.

"Ano ba?!"

Pumikit siya nang mariin na para bang meron siyang itatanong na mahirap para sa kanya itanong. He's still wearing his corporate attire ngunit wala nang necktie. Nang dumilat siya ay kaagad nagtama ang mga mata namin.

"Do you like Dale?" I saw how his adam's apple moved, na para bang nakuha na ang nakabarang tinik nito.

I crossed my arms and took a sip on the juice, still not taking my eyes off on him. "Bakit ko naman sasabihin sa 'yo?" panunuya ko.

"Because I am your fianceé—"

"Then act like one, stupid!"

Biglang lumambot ang mukha niya sa sinabi ko. Look like I caught him off guard.

Bumagsak ang mga mata niya sa juice na hawak ko at napakunot ang noo. Napatingin din ako roon unconsciously.

"f**k!"

"Oh, s**t, Rage!"

We both cursed each other when he grabbed the juice at dahil sa higpit ng pagkahila niya ay pumutok iyon at tumalsik sa damit ko. Kaagad ko siyang binulyawan.

"Look what you did, asshole!" Ang lagkit nito ay parang napunta sa loob ng damit na suot ko.

"At ikaw pa talaga ang may ganang magalit sa 'kin?!" inis na sigaw niya na siyang nagpaangat ng tingin ko. Tangina, may high blood ba ang isang 'to? "It's a kiwi juice, Astrid—"

"Ano naman ngayon? It's my favorite juice!"

His brows immediately furrowed.

Uh, may nasabi na naman ba akong mali?!

Pagak siyang napatawa. "Favorite? Even though you're allergic to that fruit?! You are barely breathing the last time you eat that f*****g fruit accidentally!"

My lips pursed. Okay, I'll accept my defeat here.

"Uhm, ah…" Nangangapa ako ng salitang maisasagot sa 'kanya. Kaagad akong napatikhim nang nakaisip. "Wala nang mas masasakit pa… when you tell me that you are inlove with someone else!"

He massaged the bridge of his nose, and every time he does that, he looks like he is stressed because of me. Well, I'm that kind of person, turning the tables back if I have to!

"So, now, the subject is me?" he calmly asked while taking steps. I stepped back.

"Uh, m-maliit lang n-naman ang n-nainom k-ko," nagkakanda-utal kong sabi habang umaatras.

Bakit ako nauutal? Bakit naghuhurumentado ang puso ko? Bakit ko nararamdaman ulit ang naramdaman ko nang nag-inuman kami?

He took last three steps before he stopped. Ang kanyang mga kamay ay nasa magkabilang bulsa. Napangisi siya.

Bakit siya ngumisi? Narinig ba niya ang puso ko? f**k! f**k!

I looked away when he sighed deeply.

"Dry your clothes. You still have 1 hour before the meeting starts. I'll wait in your office."

'Yon lang naman pala ang sasabihin niya, eh. Bakit may pahakbang pa?! Ngumiwi ako at tinalikuran siya. Nakailang hakbang ako papalayo sa kanya bago niya ako tinawag.

"Astrid!"

Huminto ako ngunit hindi ko siya nilingon.

"Forget what I said on the beach. From now on, I'll be doing my duties… as your fiancé."

My hands turned into a fist as my heart went wild. Kaagad akong naglakad ng mabilis pagkatapos ng sinabi niya. When I reached the comfort room, I immediately bang my head on the nearest wall.

Looks like we were both caught off guard.

Alexandra, you're f****d up.